Tag: Love

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5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ

I recently found out that an acquaintance I met in my travels during my early 20s was killed three years ago. He was doing conflict resolution work in a violence-ridden country. I met him only a few times over the course of a day or two, but he made an impression. Reading his obituary confirmed these initial perceptions; humble, intelligent, and kind. Most of all, though, I noticed his confidence. He was not arrogant in the least, but he was extremely confident in who he was.  

He was the most Christlike I had seen a person my own age act, patiently listening, empathizing, and being present. His confidence was firm in Christ. Perhaps that’s why I remember him so vividly for a person I met just once ten years ago. He used his gifts in the most dire circumstances to work for good. What more could any of us ask for in our short lives? But doing God’s work with confidence doesn’t come so easily for me as it did for my brave friend. I aspire to live as he did naturally–unafraid.  

Some personalities can be more cautious than others. Perhaps your environment was or is unstable and you developed some level of fear because of it. Maybe the relationships in your life weren’t secure or loving and you developed distrust. Whatever the case may be, we can take confidence in knowing that Jesus has overcome it. We can have freedom from all of it in Him. But it takes intention on our part too; we still have neural pathways stuck in ruts, we still have walls built up to protect us.

So, how can we step into the freedom of Christ that He offers us with boldness and confidence? 

  1. It starts with FAITH. 

As followers of Jesus, our confidence comes from faith in Him. There is no stronger place in which to establish our identity than believing the cross was, is, and will be enough to set us free. When our faith is in Jesus, confidence can blossom and thrive because our identity is secure in Him. It isn’t dependent on any naturally-born characteristics we ourselves happen to possess. Instead, our identity is hidden in the character of Christ, in His integrity, humility, compassion, and love. When we depend on Him and His character instead of our own abilities, we can be truly confident. We can rely on His strength instead of our own. This all starts with faith.

If your faith is shaky today, pray. Cry out to God. As the father who implored Jesus to heal his sick son, ask for help in overcoming your unbelief (Mark 9:24). Faith comes from God. You will seek Him and find Him when you seek Him with your whole heart (Deuteronomy 4:29). Have faith that the cross was enough.   

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

  1. Don’t give up on new life. 

If you struggle with falling into old habits and patterns you are not alone; take heart! That doesn’t change the fact that you are a new creation. Give yourself grace in this. It takes time to shirk old habits. Remember to see them as just that, habits. Do not confuse them to be part of you or your identity, because it’s simply not true. All of your identity and freedom was bought by and is held today in Jesus. 

All humans have brains with strongly ingrained patterns of thought. However, God’s Word says that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Read and speak out loud the promises in Scripture that speak of new life, restoration, and healing. Replace negative patterns with these promises. Never give up on a life lived in the freedom Christ paid for; we have good reason to hope!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

  1. Let go of the fear of man.

It is so easy to look at other people’s impressions of how funny, nice, interesting, cool, or desirable we are to inform our sense of self. But when we do that, we are actually valuing people’s opinions of us more than God’s opinion. This means we are making the fear of man an idol. In this, we actually make ourselves slaves to the opinions of other people. 

We must hold our identity as children of God in higher regard than the perceptions of others. If you are struggling with this today, look to the example Jesus set. He modeled awe-inspiring confidence in His identity. He knew who He was, and that confidence was evident to everyone he encountered. Never arrogant, but maintaining integrity and obedience to God the Father, Jesus stepped into his God-given responsibility. Despite being laughed at (Mark 5:40), He did not compromise His identity and was not shaken by a fear of men’s opinions. He feared God. As Jesus demonstrated, we too can stand firm in who we are, stop treating what people think of us as an idol, and put God in the rightful place of worship in our hearts.  

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

  1. Take full personal responsibility for yourself, your past, and your actions. 

As mentioned, a striking aspect of Jesus’ character is that He took full responsibility for himself. In Genesis, the story of Judah demonstrates this so well. When he was young, Judah sold his brother Joseph into slavery, and lied about it. Joseph’s supposed death caused their father Jacob great sorrow and grief, thinking he was dead. And Judah did not own up to his actions. But even though all seemed lost, Judah’s heart was transformed and his integrity grew. The guilt over what he’d done to Joseph changed his actions, and he owned up to his failures and sins. 

“Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). 

Judah received a great blessing from Jacob before his death, and Judah’s family line became royalty, the line through which Jesus Himself later came! God rewards those who take responsibility for their actions. We too must confess where we went wrong. We too must do what is right no matter the cost, because we have a responsibility to act righteously.  

  1. Remember that we know the end of the story.

Spoiler alert: in the end, Jesus brings restoration and blessing! Through Him, and only by Him, we are victorious over sin and death. If there is any license to freedom, this truth is it! No matter how dire the situation may look, no matter how foreboding the future may seem, Jesus wins. The power of death was already broken through Jesus. It’s already happened! Through Him, even now, we are no longer subject to it (Hebrews 2:14). 

“Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:5). 

From the start of God’s covenant with humanity, God always wanted to bless all those who loved, respected, knew, and walked with Him. From the royal line of Judah that He blessed through Jacob, Jesus was born and established a new covenant for us, a blessing that we live under today. Today, our blessing comes through Jesus Christ. 

Through freedom in Christ, we can empathize with the ignored and oppressed. Through freedom in Christ, we can love our enemies. Through freedom in Christ, we can share hope with the hopeless. 

May we press in to the blessing of God and the freedom God offers us through Jesus, the King of all kings! 

“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). 

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

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The Truth about Philosophy and Mental Health

Just for a moment, imagine you are in the process of figuring out your beliefs. You know you will use them and navigate decisions with them, for the rest of your life. Imagine that you look at the world’s beliefs with all their opinions, ideologies, and religions. How do you decide what beliefs are true? 

Any belief that we take on can have serious consequences for our spirit, and in turn, our mental health. 

Beliefs impact our well-being, mentally and emotionally. What we believe internally, meaning our expectations and hopes, carry serious weight and are just as important as our external, circumstantial experience of being. If we treat our beliefs with too little importance, eventually they will catch up with us. According to psychologist Jordan Peterson, when our internal and external worlds don’t align enough or are misaligned for too long, serious psychological pathology can result.  

The passage below from Colossians triggered a turning point in my thinking about what I believe: 

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness” (Colossians 2:6-9). 

When I read it, this passage shockingly spoke directly to my past, in which philosophy was my bible for navigating life. The human ways of knowing that philosophy offered completely charmed me. It seemed comfortingly detached, logical, and rational, something I could stand on as a marker when the tide of my personal feelings made me drift away from reality. In philosophy, everything must be explained, justified, and correct. If an idea stood the test of philosophical debate, I thought it must be right, at least right enough for me to believe in. 

I failed to realize in time that philosophy must be used as a tool and not be made a god. 

People use philosophy as a way to get to the truth of something. That’s why it appealed so much to me; I wanted to get to the truth. The truth about philosophy, however, is that it is only a tool, which has a place. We must not confuse it, however, with the truth itself. 

Many Christians fear learning philosophy, likely with the assumption that it will make them pick apart every belief they have about God with human logic. People do not like their beliefs to be challenged. Of course, enjoying the ego thrill, I dove right into philosophy when I started having questions and doubts about God. What could be so scary about philosophy if the stories about Jesus were true, right?

However, I soon realized that philosophy wasn’t concerned with the truth about Jesus. Instead, it pulled me into a whole other set of concerns altogether, and slowly, I was trained in its way of thought. Much like an ideology or religion. 

Soon I was thinking philosophically about everything, and putting it in that highest place for truth that it simply wasn’t meant for. Philosophy made me feel powerful. It made me feel like I could argue my way past any belief. It made me feel like I was too good for beliefs. 

Sin causes our thoughts and feelings to deceive us about who we are.

Philosophy is one of the fastest ways to an unhealthy pride in oneself that I know of. It made me feel like I didn’t need God. My identity became wrapped up in my philosophical ability. 

Of course, I was naive about approaching philosophy, which is perhaps why it became so dangerous. I am certain many others approach philosophy in a very healthy way and thus have no qualms about using it. Today, I can say that there is no reason to be afraid of philosophy if one can see it as the tool it is. But, if we use it as the standard by which we make decisions and judgments, that is where it can cause damage to mental health. 

Human knowledge does not equal divine wisdom. 

Fast forward a couple of years and my mental health was declining. Jordan Peterson describes it as a sort of “sickness of the spirit.” I suspect there were other factors involved too, but I am sure that at least part of the reason was that my expectations about life did not match up with my hopes. 

Why wasn’t philosophy “working” for me? Why weren’t those feelings of superior knowledge manifesting in a better life? 

In fact, they’d only led me to a place where I was no longer searching for meaning and thus was simply unhappy. Philosophical thinking hadn’t improved my life, instead it seemed to weaken it. At the time, I could not understand why. 

Thankfully, God didn’t let me forget Him. I looked for the people who were happy, desperate for something to help ease my mental suffering. I tried to learn from them. In talking to Jesus-following believers, God challenged me to seek the whole truth found in Him, not just parts of the truth that philosophy grasps for. That’s when I discovered the truest thing I could find in this world; a deep, meaningful relationship that He wants to have with each one of us. 

It wasn’t logic-centered, it wasn’t calculated. It was messy and beautiful and scary and wonderful. The truth was more like relationship and art and less like philosophy and logic than I ever imagined.  

“Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?” (1 Corinthians 1:20).

All my philosophical beliefs crumbled under the authority of God in this one brutal, beautiful verse.  

Indeed, God made all the most advanced, complex brilliance of human knowledge foolish when it comes to understanding His Kingdom. Whereas philosophy locks us into something rigidly, relationship with God frees us. “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). 

No one can be happy if they aren’t free. We were created to have free will, and to make our own choices about what we believe. We must take special care when considering any religion, ideology, or theory–it will affect our very souls and our psychological well being. 

The wisdom of the world is opposite to the wisdom of God.

Jesus Himself delighted in the simplicity of the Gospel in Luke 10: “At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do . . .’” (Luke 10:21).

He makes it possible to understand who He really is whether you can wield human logic or not. He desires relationship with each precious soul in a profoundly personal way. Who or what others tell you He is shouldn’t matter more than who He has revealed Himself to you to be. God can reach us through any means, including human understanding and logic, but that is certainly not the only way. If that was the case only the smartest people in the world would be able to find Him and know Him. He ensured that little children can know Him too. The pursuit of intellect for its own sake will not bring us closer to Him. The pursuit of Him will always lead us to Him.  

How beautiful and fair and just God is! He gives us all an equal chance to have a relationship with Him. In Him, there is no class or status or ranks. Only love and our choice to love Him as He already first loved and loves and will love us. 

God wants us to know Him. 

Whereas a reliance on philosophy to tell us what’s true will leave our souls wanting, God restores our souls. He gives us life breath. He calls us into our true identity in Jesus Christ. He sends the comforter and friend, the Holy Spirit, to be with us and to fill us so we can stand firm in faith in the face of trials.  

If you’re wrestling with existential questions right now, you are not alone. But take heart that your wrestle shows that you are well on your way to finding the peace of God that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7). 

I would invite you to take a moment to reflect on what God might be communicating to you through the question you are asking. What is He is up to in our souls when we have these questions? How can we bring our felt experience into better alignment with the greatest hopes you have, in the fullness of God, in abundant life?  

During this Holy Week, behold His vast complexity, love and beauty. He has given us the capacity to sense deeply when our experience doesn’t match with our hopes or expectations for a reason. It is an invitation to seek God, and He promises that when we do seek Him, we will find Him: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

This Easter weekend, as we remember together that Jesus came, was crucified, and defeated death itself to give us life, let’s remember that He designed our souls to be fulfilled and our minds to be at peace by knowing Him deeply. Yes, even us, the prideful, rebellious, power-seekers that we are. He loves us anyway, just the same. He calls us worth dying for, He calls us His, He calls us family. Nothing can separate us from God’s love in Christ (Romans 8:39). Rely on the love and sacrifice Jesus made for you today. Seek to know Him more every day; it’s worth it. He is life itself, He is beyond every belief, He is everything. 

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit” (Jeremiah 17:7-8). 

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Compassion and Resting in Jesus

I wasn’t planning to address the current global pandemic, but it’s so heavily on my heart that I have to acknowledge it in some way. I take great care that everything I post here comes from an honest place. If what I write doesn’t feel honest, I don’t post. Period. So please pardon my extra honesty about compassion, which can be brought to any situation or any time. The COVID-19 situation just underlines its importance all the more.  

I want to admit that especially in the face of the world’s current state of uncertainty, I get easily worn out emotionally. I’ve been more moody than usual, as the emotional enneagram type 4 that I am. I’m not scared for myself so much, but my heart breaks for the world, the country, the state, and the people who are most vulnerable right now–including several family members. 

History with MRSA

About fourteen years ago, my family began dealing with a highly contagious bacteria called MRSA, a deadly staph infection. My dad brought it home from the nursing home where he worked. I watched the extreme anxiety of washing, wiping, and disinfecting everything—our sheets, our clothes, our skin—wear heavily on us all, Mom in particular. The infection would seem to be healed for a few weeks, we would start to breathe easier again, but then suddenly, the infection would recur. This happened several times over a series of long, agonizing months. 

With time Dad recovered, and slowly, the black mood lifted as household life returned to normal–but not without scars. I’ve been forced to revisit my scars as the trauma and familiar anxiety of those terrible MRSA months have flooded back to me in the last week or two due to COVID-19, and the emotions simply overwhelm me at times. As then, I pray. I sleep when I can. I wait. Focus on my work becomes harder and more important to my mental health. Staying hopeful becomes an even higher priority.

This is not new for me, but it is for most of the world–the US in particular. As someone who relies heavily on intuition and empathizes deeply with others, it’s been a difficult week, and from what it sounds like, we all have a while to go.  

So how do we cope? What do we do when we have no experience with something this widespread and dangerous but have to face it anyway? For better or worse, I actually have some real-life experience to draw from having gone through a long, terrible fight with a deadly strain of MRSA in my household. 

The only way I’ve found to get through uncertainty of any kind is by resting in the certain love and compassion of Jesus. 

Jesus does not want us to live in a state of heightened anxiety and stress; it’s no way to live, from a physical, spiritual, emotional, or mental health standpoint. In the New Testament, Peter wrote, “[cast] all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Jesus cares about what we’re going through. He offers to do something about our anxieties. He offers to take them upon Himself.

The Compassion of Jesus

Jesus’ compassionate presence is reliable even when nothing else is. Matthew 9:36-38 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” 

What a beautiful picture of compassion! Here Jesus’ heart is clearly with the most vulnerable. Throughout the Bible, God shows His compassionate nature, for example by not abandoning his people in the wilderness after the exodus from Egypt. By rescuing and delivering his people from oppressive enemies. By strengthening and restoring them. Answering them. Sparing them. Forgiving them. Comforting them. Providing for them. Jesus showed compassion in His life on this earth by healing, feeding, giving sight, and teaching the people. 

Jesus then brought the compassionate work of God to a head by making the Way to reconciliation and forgiveness of sins. 

In the midst of MRSA and now in the midst of COVID-19, He assures that through Him, our souls are safe from harm. He brought eternal healing to our mortal souls by His grace, love, and compassion. With that assurance, fear has no place to take hold of us. Jesus was and is the source of my hope, even in “the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). Jesus is worth trusting in. Jesus himself said, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Friends, let’s take heart together. 

We are not designed to handle such heavy burdens on our own. While we certainly must do what we can to protect ourselves and others, we are not in control, no matter how many times we wash our hands or how carefully we hoard supplies. Only God can handle a burden as heavy as an incurable illness or a global pandemic. He is our true, everlasting place of peace, comfort, and rest. 

Jesus is the only place our weary souls can take a real rest. 

We all have emotions, and they are all valid. However, the way we feel changes constantly and, if you’re anything like me, it’s typically not in line with what is True. We mustn’t allow our emotions to go so far as to replace Truth with hysteria and a general sense of doom. What the world easily forgets, what we must hold onto, is the truth that God’s presence and help is always available to us. 

We always can choose a different point of view in the face of fear when we follow the God of love. 

God gave us the precious ability to choose for ourselves how we live, what we focus our minds on, and how we treat others. We can also show love to ourselves by choosing to think healthy, life-affirming thoughts in line with the Word of God. We can also choose to love our neighbors in creative ways, because God “first loved us” (1 John 4:19). He gives us His love so that we can show love. 

We get to choose where our hope is found, no matter what is going on around us. Friends, I can tell you from experience that putting all hope in disinfecting practices and medical expert advice is shaky ground. By setting our hope first on the saving work of Jesus, we have a firm foundation for and ability to rest. 

Jesus longs for us to draw close to Him. He loves and cares for us more deeply than we can even know. He is always waiting for us with open arms. In the midst of whatever we are going though, He is there and able to handle whatever burdens and pain we bring to His feet.    

Jesus is in the business of restoration and healing. 

He is merciful and just; “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). Jesus is working, even when we don’t see it, to heal and restore. That’s just who He is and what He does. 

We don’t have to live in fear because no matter what happens, He will bring restoration and healing in the end thanks to his unending compassion for us. When we practice compassion ourselves, we take part in bringing the Kingdom of God to this earth, the Kingdom that first broke in when Jesus came. 

We can continue His Kingdom work right now, as we abide in His Spirit of compassion. It is through His Spirit that we have the capacity to love and serve. Compassion is the opportunity we have every day and particularly right now. While the world is fearful and hurting, “like sheep without a shepherd,” Jesus invites us to come to Him. Let us find rest in Jesus, the one True Shepherd of souls, and show His love and compassion in whatever ways we can. It will not only help bring healing to others, but it will also aid in our own healing.  

Self Compassion

While compassion is often thought of as being directed toward others, it is equally important to have compassion for ourselves. Particularly as anxieties and fears shudder through us, and as experiences and situations contradict our hope, we must be patient with ourselves. We need to make sure not to skip over giving ourselves the same grace that Jesus has already given us. He knows “we are dust” (Psalm 103:14); we are human beings, and we have weaknesses. That’s okay. For some of us this can be hard to accept, but it’s essential to understand it. 

We won’t be able to accept Jesus’ grace if we cannot grant ourselves enough grace to receive it. 

We must show ourselves the same compassion, kindness, gentleness and patience that we would show to our closest, dearest friend. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). This isn’t easy; I am saying this as a reminder to myself too, and am working on this along with you!

I recently read a quote that said, “the ‘little things’ aren’t as little as you think.” How you treat yourself moment by moment, how you talk to yourself, might seem like a small thing in the grand scheme of everything else, but it makes a big difference to show compassion in those in-between moments. Friends, don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. 

While we can’t control what happens, we can control how we respond. Let’s respond with the love and compassion of Jesus, especially towards ourselves, in this difficult time. 

God sees us as worth loving, so we should too! 

God is a God of compassion. He cares for us as a good father cares for the best interests of his own child.  Just as love is a choice, it is also a choice to show compassion toward yourself and others. We are His children through our faith and reliance on the saving work of Jesus. He shows us radical, profound love, grace, and mercy which we can experience fully when we trust Him. 

Jesus had great compassion for people, and by looking at His life on earth we are given an amazing example of what it looks like to practice the art of compassion, for ourselves and others. 

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Compassion will run out if our source is not Jesus Himself. 

Our humanity limits the extent to which we, in our own strength, are capable of showing compassion. It is only when we lean on Jesus’ strength and forgiving work that our compassion for others won’t run dry. 

The way of rest and restoration is found only in Jesus, friends. May all the compassion you show inspire others to hope in the promise of healing that Jesus fulfills.

Sometimes disasters help us run into God’s arms all the faster and more fervently. In this season as the world is experiencing disasters of all kinds and we are urged toward social distancing, may we ever draw closer to our compassionate, loving Father. 

“But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love” (Nehemiah 9:17).   

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail” (Lamentations 3:22).  


“a bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will hope” (Matthew 12:20-21). 

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Perspective of Celebration

My one flowering plant that I’ve had since last February is budding (miraculous that it’s still alive to begin with, because I have killed every other indoor plant I’ve owned!). I see shoots popping out of the earth along my neighborhood walkways. I hear birds chirping in more cheerful and distinctive melodies. Spring has recently come to be my favorite season because of its beautiful, far-reaching reminder of renewed life. I’ll take almost any excuse to celebrate and get my mind on something positive. My birthday is in February, which I like to celebrate all month long. Taking on a spirit of celebration really helps me work out my case of the winter funk.

Expected Celebration

The oldest book of the Bible, Job, mentions that Job’s children celebrated their birthdays with a feast: “His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them” (Job 1:4). In ancient culture, many other times of celebration were marked by feasts as well (eg: Numbers 10:10). Feasts often involved rejoicing, rest, and joy (eg: Esther 9).   

To me, birthdays are the easiest time to celebrate life in the current, Western world I live in. It’s somewhat expected that birthdays are something to celebrate, even as an adult. Every year around my birthday I take some time to marvel at the fact that I’m still alive. I mean that in all seriousness. I stop to appreciate the hardships I’ve endured and the times I wanted to give up. It helps me to practice this grateful posture to God for my life. I also go through this same process for the birthdays of people close to me. It’s especially easy and expected to celebrate when our life circumstances have improved from what they once were.  

Soon after one of their feasts, Job’s children were killed. When Job heard this news, he mourned, to be sure; yet he didn’t cease to rejoice in the Lord. Instead, “he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’ In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” (Job 1:20-22). What an amazing response to devastating news! 

Unexpected Celebration

It’s easy to celebrate and rejoice in God when we focus on the blessings in life–health, a place to live, food to eat, a job, a family, good friends, etc. But to rejoice in the face of death, suffering, and heartache? What a feat it is to put deep pain aside and rejoice in God’s presence and faithfulness to us, as Job did. This is not a natural human response, it takes some intention and some serious reliance on the Goodness of God. This difficult task is in fact a command:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7).  

In every situation. Even to the point of loneliness, lack of love, false accusations. Even to the point of losing our reputation. Even to the point of loved ones being killed. Rejoice. This takes strength that only God can give us. Humans are easily broken down. Our human nature is weak in resolve and fickle in loyalty. But God’s strength is steadfast; leaning on Him, we can endure suffering and still rejoice in the face of it.  

In the few times I have been able to rejoice in the midst of pain, I do remember feeling immediately put at ease. It was like the “peace of God, which transcends all understanding” had come and put thick earmuffs on me while a piercing siren was roaring in my ears. I could still hear the siren, but the sound no longer had all of my attention. God’s mercy and nearness had more of it. It might feel odd or nonsensical, but rejoicing while in pain can make all the difference. Obedience to God is always rewarded. 

Suffering and Death 

Looking at the story of suffering Jesus went through in the Gospels, He still had hope even on the cross. Through all the mocking and abuse He endured, He never ceased to honor the relationship He had with the Father. Though He asked for the burden of death and suffering on the cross to be taken from Him, He still had deep joy going through with it because He was doing the Father’s will. Like Job, Jesus also gives us the example of rejoicing in the Lord, no matter the circumstance. 

Rejoicing and celebration can be a sign of faith. Faith that God is there, that He is working when we can’t see, gives us cause to celebrate, no matter what we are going through. 

I’ve been reading about Abraham and Sarah this week. When the presence of God visits their tent, God responds to Sarah’s disbelief in His words that she will have a son in her old age (around 90). Her womb was as good as dead in her eyes. She laughs at God’s words, but He asks, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14). 

God brings life even when we only see death 

We must have faith that winter will turn into spring. That life will be renewed. Friends, we cannot allow our hope to die. If you’re longing for faith but can’t find it right now, know that God can help you as you are; don’t give up hope. If you’re longing for God’s presence but feel nothing, know that God is already there with you; don’t give up hope. If you’re longing for love, know that God already loves you more than you can imagine; don’t give up hope. You can be open to receive His love when you are ready, and He is patient with your process. 

God has given us every reason to rejoice, to celebrate, to be full of joy regardless of our circumstances. At all times. In every situation. He is the life-giver; that’s just what He does and who He is. If your hopes have died, if your heart has stopped loving, if your needs aren’t being met, know that Jesus is the restorer of life. He has met your every need already. He has done the work, so that all we need to do is celebrate. 

Celebration Eternal

Even if winter never ends, and if we don’t see the sun shining again, we have no excuse! Yes, the things around us often affect our mood in the moment, but we must not let that change our eternal perspective on what matters most. No, celebration when things are going wrong doesn’t make sense. But God asks us to rejoice always. His ways don’t make “sense” or go along with our feelings all the time. Our faith in Him is all He asks of us, and that involves rejoicing because of who He is.    

The day is coming when God will dwell with us in the new earth. We will be eternal with Him, and will glorify Him in all we do. We won’t need to guess or mess up at it anymore. We will rejoice and celebrate and be glad, with no more tears. When we can celebrate on this earth in this life, we can enter into that eternity now. When Jesus came, heaven broke into earth and God’s presence is still here and available to us now because of Jesus through the Holy Spirit. In times of celebration, we can both live in and get a glimpse of the eternity God is preparing for us. Let’s not miss the chance we have to celebrate here and now!

May we celebrate the life found only in Jesus, on our birthdays, and every day we have His breath in our lungs. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7).

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Dealing with Pride

“what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.    

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay. 

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.  

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29). 

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride. 

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.    

Sin 

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin. 

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him. 

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.  

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so. 

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.  

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of. 

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus. 

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14). 

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Royal Identity

Happy 2020! I’m so excited to finally dive into the topic of identity. Understanding my identity and identity as God defines it changed everything for me in 2015. Identity was the key to regaining faith in God after I had lost every last drop of it. I used to define myself in all kinds of ways–by how good I was at my job, how I saw myself, how others saw me, what I knew and the kinds of questions I asked, the places I’d been . . . you get the idea. I’d also “try on” new identities when I found them to see if they’d fit. Nothing ever satisfied for long. It wasn’t until I realized I didn’t actually understand God or who He really is or the truth about why He made humans to begin with. Once I discovered that for myself in my own time, my identity became much more clear. Did you know that royalty is in our blood? (Genesis 1:26, 1:28). I certainly didn’t. But it’s True!

God made humans to rule the Earth. 

We all have a deep-seated desire to rule, to bring order, to make something out of the world and our place in it. That’s not by accident. In John Mark Comer’s book Garden City, he unpacks this idea that we were always meant to reign, to work, make culture, build cities, and help people and animals thrive. We are actually designed as rulers of the Earth–we are kings and queens by birth. 

We were never meant to die or leave this Earth but instead to rule it, reign over it, and enjoy it. Comer writes that it’s in our blood to desire greatness, because that’s who we really are. We descend from kings and queens, and we are designed to be kings and queens. How often do we live like we believe that?

You don’t have to strive to become somebody because you already ARE somebody. 

Awareness of my sin blinded me to this identity for myself, and sometimes still does. I used to believe that if God was real, He had made me a sinner. From a very young age I recognized the pain I caused to myself and others and resented it and myself for it. In other words, I believed it was God’s fault that I was born “bad,” so why would I want to try to be anything better than I was? Shouldn’t I just embrace who I am, push others to do the same, and leave it at that? After all, that’s what Western culture fights for and tells us we should fight for too. Why would I want or need forgiveness from God like Christianity teaches if I couldn’t help but to be “bad” in the first place? Seemed pretty unfair to me. How could a good God send anyone to hell if He set us up to fail by making us sinful? But that’s a lie I believed. The truth is that God made us to rule. 

Discovering and knowing that God didn’t set us up to fail was everything for me. 

I knew there was a disconnect in holding this belief but no answers made sense to me for years. Eventually I asked the question, “Do I really know who God is?” The answer was a resounding no. Instead of a God of mixed and confusing messages, I slowly came to know God as the Creator of a beautiful Earth and the Creator of humans to rule over it, take care of it, and thrive. I came to know God as a loving, holy Father who always intended the best for us, and who created us good, in His Good image, to represent Him on Earth. I came to know God as the good, loving, merciful, faithful, sacrificial, kind, and patient God He is. Understanding Him not as the condemner to hell but as the Savior of souls that have wandered away from God’s design, longing for rest and peace. Instead of focusing on what confusion my pain caused, my thinking started to transform when focusing on the loving heart of God and His original intentions for us. 

Knowing God’s love, all the pain, sin, and shame of my past just doesn’t matter anymore.

I mean, it still really sucks that we can’t rule as God originally designed. While royalty is in our DNA, sin crept into our hearts at the Fall and has been around ever since. In other words, we messed up our chance to rule the world as our natures predispose us to do. Instead, we were given a second chance by God in the form of a choice. That’s where the best news comes in.  God allows us to choose whether or not to submit to His authority to get back to His design. Jesus, God in the flesh, took on our sin by His amazing grace and He now rules the Earth in our place, because we could not. Now, we must let God take care of the world. We can no longer rule the Earth on our own because sin entered into the world and our egos twisted the desire to rule for common good into the desire to rule for personal glory. But we may reign with Jesus over the Earth for all eternity as God’s design intended. All He asks is to trust in Him. 

The end of the story is hopeful! Nothing could ever stop God’s design, it will come about regardless of human decisions. But God gives us the chance to reenter His design through believing in Jesus’ sacrifice covering the debt of sin we are responsible for. God in the flesh, Jesus, came to save our souls from separation from God. He fulfilled the human’s purpose to rule the world where Adam and Eve could not rule. 

We are kings and queens because the King of all made it so. Not because of anything we’ve done, not because we deserved it, but because of the grace of the one True King. 

Sometimes it takes hitting a low point like I did to realize there’s more to life than being born, working, maybe marrying or procreating, and definitely dying. There’s not only pain. Love is here. No amount of sin could wipe it out. Love is the reason you are here, and God doesn’t leave you alone in the mess of pain and suffering. He loved us so much He was willing to do anything to get us out of the mess and cycle of destruction we inherited from our ancestors, the human kings and queens of old. He doesn’t just show us kindness once in a while, when things in life seem to be going well, He doesn’t only think about us when we think about Him or pray to Him. He is kind and good to us all the time. He thinks about us always, wanting the best for us. Jesus provided the Way for us to get out of the mess of sin that distracts, destroys, and deceives us and allows us to live in the peace and joy of knowing Him and following His Way, his plan for your identity. 

We were not made to suffer and die. We were made to rule. 

You have purpose. You have value. You ARE somebody. You are precious, valued, and loved beyond what you or I or any human being can comprehend. 

The King of kings has given us an identity, a name, a purpose that no doubt or sin can ever erase. 

May we live as the kings and queens God made us to be, now and for eternity. 

Further suggested reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer Part I

Prayer can sometimes be easy, but for me it’s incredibly difficult at times too. Jesus commanded us to pray (Matthew 5:44, 26:41). He even tells us how to pray (Matthew 6:6-7, 6:9), yet it can still elude us. Distractions of all kinds can so easily get in the way of communicating with God and truly acknowledging His presence. For me it usually takes intention and wholehearted attention to pray, which our fast-paced and often hurried culture does not easily accommodate in our schedules. Prayer is counter-cultural.

I find it fascinating how Jesus completely changed the way prayer was seen and practiced in the culture. He made it go from being something only done in the temple to actually making it go mobile with every believer. This shift happened so long ago in such a different culture that it’s easy to take it for granted, but keeping this in mind has been very helpful to me in thinking about prayer lately. Let’s dive into prayer a bit further, shall we?  

Struggling with Prayer 

For several years of my adult life, I couldn’t pray. Praying was something I had done ever since I can remember growing up. I would pray almost every night and found the prayers prayed in church such as the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostle’s Creed beautiful and meaningful at a young age. Fast forward and I began following my own way, without consulting the Lord much beyond asking, “please help this thing I want to happen work out.” When I got around to praying, the only way I can describe the experience is that my prayers “bounced back.” Like sending an undeliverable email. My words went nowhere and seemed ridiculous as they reverberated back to me. Looking back now, I realize my heart wasn’t in those prayers because I didn’t trust God and wasn’t interested in learning His will. I only thought about my own. At the time though I just didn’t understand; God should hear my prayers no matter what, right?

Digging a bit further in the Bible, I’m not the only one who has felt like their prayers weren’t heard. David wrote, “...my prayers returned to me unanswered…” (Psalm 35:13). Sounds very familiar. But instead of pressing in and seeking God out, I walked away. I stopped trying to pray altogether. I hadn’t embraced the Spirit or the Truth (John 4:23) that is essential for aligning with His will, and again all I was really doing was asking for my own will to work out. I got so far down my own path that it took awhile for me to become open to being found by Him again after getting away from the Truth. When I finally realized I was surrounded by His kindness and mercy, that He never had and never will give up on me, I was simply in awe.  Suddenly, I really, REALLY wanted to talk to God. I became keenly curious about my problems with prayer and started to seek answers.

A Brief History of Prayer 

I’ve freshly rediscovered that prayer used to be associated with a physical location in Jewish culture. The temple in Jerusalem was thought to be the only proper place to pray because it housed the presence of God. Think about that for just a moment: there was a time when people had to travel to a specific place to talk to God! How much worse would traffic be today, am I right? Jesus ushered in a new age of prayer by sending the Holy Spirit to us. The temple of God no longer confined to a physical place, He now dwells within every believer. Jesus gave us the ability to pray from anywhere. We ourselves collectively embody the temple of God, and can now pray anywhere we go, for the Holy Spirit goes with us! 

When Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, He explained this, “...a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem” (John 4:21). Jesus told her about the change in our human interaction with God to be brought about by the Holy Spirit, “the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:23b-24). 

I believe this is the key to the prayer woes I described. I crowded the Holy Spirit out, so how could I be “in the Spirit?” I didn’t trust Him because I didn’t know Him well enough. I didn’t understand the nature of or the history of humanity’s connection to God. And consequently, I didn’t know the Truth about who Jesus is. But God didn’t give up on me, and if you feel this way today, know He hasn’t given up on you either. He can lead us out of the worst despair and into a new place cognitively and emotionally where we can trust Him. Transformation and renewal is possible (Romans 12:2). I know this because prayer miraculously was restored to me, along with many other gifts; joy, hope, peace, and trust, when I fully accepted Jesus.

Paul worked to knit the knowledge of the Holy Spirit into the early church. He spent time writing about the Holy Spirit’s role in the new temple of God within each believer, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit” (Ephesians 2:19-21). I find this a beautiful way to paint the church which has been helpful to hold onto in prayer.

Make no mistake, prayer is not always easy for me, even still. I must constantly remind myself of the Truth, and still constantly remind myself of why I trust Him. Reading Scripture that speaks of His character, reading His promises, reminding myself of who He is and the restoration He continually brings as we walk with Him helps strengthen my desire to pray. Again, it takes intention to connect with the One who loves unconditionally. Reminding ourselves of the depth of His love and grace, even while still sinners (Romans 5:8), makes prayer a natural response to this love. Remembering the Truth, and seeing it fresh every day is the tough part. Friends, if you struggle with prayer I encourage you to seek the Spirit and the Truth. It was key for me in finding a prayer life that was more meaningful, powerful, and God-centered instead of me-centered. May we all be restored and refreshed in prayer as we run and endure this race of life. 

Jesus prayed for us 

We can easily rush past this, but our Bibles actually say that Jesus prayed for us. Not only that, He is still currently praying for us! Jesus prayed for every believer while He was living on the earth, “‘My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message” (John 17:20). That’s us, the ones who will believe. And our Bibles also say that in heaven, even today, Jesus continually intercedes for us in prayer, “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). How humbling that Jesus is praying for us! What a beautiful promise this is, His love and saving work extending on, far beyond just His time on earth. May we be encouraged to follow Jesus’ example and pray for each other in love. 

For my readers who made it this far and so kindly read my posts, know that I am praying for you. Please send me an email if you have specific prayer requests; I’d love to pray for you. 

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). 

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The Joy of Dance

I remember having to sit through my younger sister’s dance recital rehearsal while trying to do math problems. At age 11, anything girly made me roll my eyes. However, out of the 50 or 60 dances, one ballet dance in particular caught my attention even among the racy jazz numbers and the snappy tappers. I found myself being drawn in by the teen ballet set to Tchaikovky’s Waltz of the Flowers. 

It carried me off into another world where everything seemed better.

The dancers looked genuinely happy. The number was synchronized, artistic, and when I finally saw the dress rehearsal, the white costumes with pink sashes and pink flowers made it all just too beautiful to deny. If this was what dancing could look like, I finally understood why people wanted to do it. “If only I could do that,” I thought. Could I? I wrestled for a few weeks, and then decided. I almost surprised myself when I told my mom I wanted to begin ballet lessons.  

I held tight to the dream of being able to dance like the girls in Waltz of the Flowers, to move with grace. The first year or two of classes revealed my deep love of dance; I danced every chance I could. But when I started competing, I lost sight of why I loved dance in the first place. At competitions, dance was instead about external validation. The hope dance had given me for a better more beautiful world took a backseat until there wasn’t much joy in dance for me anymore; after three years I resigned from the dance team. I couldn’t quite bear to stop dancing altogether though.

Nine years after I quit competing, I did stop altogether. At 25, I simply couldn’t dance. Not because I physically couldn’t. Any doctor would have said I was physically capable. But spiritually, I had nothing left. Without being aware or intentional about my relationship with God, I hadn’t been following Him. I had been consistently careless with my heart and mind, and that summer it caught up with me like a ton of bricks. That’ll slow anyone down real quick.

I had lost all sight of the Lord.

It happened so gradually that it was hard to notice. By the time I did notice, I had stopped even trying to pray. I wasn’t following God’s commands, which provide joy. “The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart” (Psalm 19:8). My joy had run out, and I felt it. All of a sudden, everything about my life seemed wrong. I had a vague awareness that I had lost something like innocence but at the time I was blind to the Truth of God. I sought the world’s rational, scholarly answers for why this was happening to me. But nothing satisfied. The truth was, my heart hadn’t received true joy, the joy that comes only from God’s grace and love, for quite some time. What I didn’t know then is that joy is a gift I couldn’t work to give myself. 

Joy is a gift from God. 

It took years for me to make sense of it. All I knew at the time was that I had completely lost strength, mentally and spiritually. I didn’t think that had anything to do with God. Even the thought of attending a dance class right across the street, as I had been, was exhausting. I don’t even remember having hope to dance again. Scripture says, “...Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). However, I was grieving and weak. I was in pain and didn’t know how to escape it. I didn’t know how to come back to God even if I wanted to (I didn’t, and I blamed Him for how I felt). “Joy is gone from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning” (Lamentations 5:15). My dancing had indeed turned to mourning; I was lucky just to get out of bed. Having joy was only a distant memory. 

I had no reason to dance anymore.

Thankfully, God is a merciful God. He never stops loving us and He is always waiting for us to repent. He welcomes us back to Him with open arms when we do. He delights in lavishing His gifts upon His children, and by His amazing grace, He restored my joy that was lost. It took years, but eventually I was ready to accept the Truth. In one of my darkest moments, I focused on Truth instead of my own pain, and let go of blaming God. I repented of my sin. Suddenly, I was filled with joy, and I praise God that joy has not left me since. 

About a year later, I slowly started dancing again, taking one class here and another there. I wanted to savor the process this time and to go at my own pace. I was not disappointed. I found that once again, as when I first began to dance, I could express freedom in the movement. I became sensitive again to the beauty and grace of dance that I had fallen in love with at age 11. Dance is an expression of the heart and a wonderful way to express joy. 

Two years ago, I took an opportunity to perform in a ballet. Though I doubt anyone knew it but God, I wanted to perform again as a testament to how far He’s taken me. From the depths of despair to the stage, He stayed with me through it all. 

To express the joy that He restored to me through dance was a gift.

Now I’m in a season of being stirred to dance the way David danced before the Lord, “Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might,” (2 Samuel 6:14). This year, I’ve had the opportunity to choreograph for a performance. By God’s grace I was inspired with joyful steps and free, expansive movement. I could not have set that kind of piece without the joy of the Lord. This was just a few weeks ago.

Joy is so powerful it often elicits a physical response. Other responses to joy found in the Bible include shouting (Leviticus 9:24), eating (1 Chronicles 29:22), and singing (Psalm 95:1). There are many outward expressions of joy to the Lord; my favorite, as you may have guessed by now, is dancing. 

If I ever doubt that God has restored me and delivered me from sin, I remember how, not so many years ago, I couldn’t even dance one step under the heaviness of darkness. There’s no denying its contrast with the joy that now flows from my spirit, particularly through dance. God worked the miracle of joy in my life. Dance symbolizes my journey of being brought from death to life. And so, I will dance on. 

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,” (Psalm 30:11).  

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Sacred Reading

I’ve been wanting to get deeper in knowing and understanding God a lot more lately. The more I have learned the last few years, the more I want to learn. But, at the same time I can feel myself getting more and more addicted to my phone, my computer, and my TV. The tension can get maddening. Only when I choose to run to the Lord and shut out everything else do I find real rest from the constant barrage of noise. Making that decision and connecting with Him is not always easy though. Sometimes we may need a little help. 

I want to spend some time talking about the spiritual disciplines on this blog, meaning the practices that Christians have used for hundreds and hundreds of years to help them connect more deeply with God, His Word, and with themselves. I know, “disciplines” can sound boring and dull–they certainly did to me until I finally gave them a chance. I had to get fed up first. At some point I got fed up by this surface-deep world full of distractions, ever-ready to destroy deep connection and intimacy. Just one look at divorce rates and loneliness studies speak to lack of intimacy, the byproduct of our human brokenness. With everything around me pulling me away from intimacy with God, I suspect I’m not the only one who longs for depth of connection to God’s love and presence with us. We need connection, we were made for it, for Him. Now, I’m not saying I am great at spiritual disciplines by any means, because I’m definitely not. I’d still consider myself a beginner, but I want to share a few things that particularly help me tune out the noise and connect with God in hopes that maybe they could help you as well wherever you are in your spiritual journey, whether you’re a beginner to knowing Jesus or a lifelong follower of Jesus.  

The first time I learned about sacred reading, or lectio divina, was several years ago. It sounded way too fancy and complicated to me. But the more I learned, the more intrigued I was. The way I understand it now is a structured way to meditate on one passage of Scripture at a time. It’s a way we can converse with God through His Words in Scripture, as they command us to “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds…” (Deuteronomy 11:18). Sacred reading provides those who practice it with structured time and space to allow a passage to sink into our minds and hearts, allowing God room there to speak to us through the passage. Stick with me. It’s really not as mystical as it may sound.

The hardest part for me is starting. 

For me, it’s most helpful to start without any distractions. This is the part that is usually the hardest, because I have a tendency toward racing thoughts and, like many of us, an addiction to content like online videos and podcasts that I am constantly (and oftentimes poorly) managing. But, if I can get past the hurdles of a distracted mind, the rest of the process of sacred reading is incredibly helpful, convicting, humbling, and restorative in fresh and unexpected ways every time. 

God’s Word truly continues to speak to us, sometimes we just need some help. 

That’s where spiritual disciplines come in. Last year, I kept up the discipline for several months, but eventually it faded out of my daily routine. Since then I’ve started and stopped again over and over, but recently I’ve started back up full force, trying to practice daily and trying not to judge myself about missing a day here and there and just keep going. The important thing is showing up as often as we possibly can. 

Even if we’re distracted, even if we’re tired, even if we’re depressed–even there–God sees us and loves us right where we are.  

The practice of sacred reading can also be very powerful in a group setting, but most often I delve into the Word by myself. I’ll give you a picture of what it looks like to try this ancient, sacred practice that’s really quite simple. When I start, I pray first. I check in with God and tell Him what I’m feeling. Then I thank Him for His love and devote my time in the practice to Him. I pray for focus, wisdom, discernment, and an open mind and heart to what He is speaking to me. I ask Him to reveal the true meaning of the passage to me, and to show me what my responsibility is upon receiving His Word. Then, I will choose a passage of Scripture that I want to read. It could be one verse or several, but before I begin I usually will make sure it’s something I won’t mind reading more than once. Sometimes I don’t skim through it first and just start reading where I feel prompted to read; wisdom and truth can come from reading any passage in the Word. 

Then I’ll read the passage through completely, once or twice, slowly. Then I’ll pause and jot down any notes of things I noticed, have questions about, or want to remember for the next pass. Then I’ll read it again even more slowly, taking notice of individual words, sometimes looking up different translations to gain more context for meaning, and I’ll take time to reflect on what I’m thinking, feeling, or sensing with my pen hovering over paper. I’ll write everything down about what I think a verse means, whether I think it’s “right” or not, just to get all my thoughts out. Then I’ll start responding to God, asking Him if I’m on the right track, and telling Him what Scripture has spoken to me. I’m a writer, and a visual learner, so I’m usually writing this prayer out. I end with thanks to Him for His Word, for interacting with me through it. Though it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like, ideally after that I’ll try to take a moment to be still, not saying anything, just resting in God’s presence. 

Friends, this is one of my absolute favorite ways to connect with God. My brain is so used to study and research, to structure, to thinking through everything, that the structure of lectio divina is enough to keep my brain occupied while my heart has time to commune with Jesus. It’s a wonderful balanced practice in that way, and I hope you are encouraged to give it a try! 

“When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty” (Jeremiah 15:16). 

For anyone who has been confused when they hear things like “talk with God” or “connect with God,” I understand. I totally was too. I was like, “Uh…you sound completely crazy, way too woo-woo spiritual, no way I’m even touching that,” only to go along with life and still feel disconnected from God and not know what to do about it. By showing you the process of sacred reading, a long-practiced discipline in Christianity, I hope it’s become a little less weird and a little more accessible to you. It’s another way to build your relationship with Jesus, to seek Jesus. This is just one way to get started. There are many spiritual practices and not everyone will connect with this one. That’s okay. I wanted to share it because it’s been exceptionally helpful to me and my relationship with Jesus. If sacred reading just isn’t your favorite, in the coming weeks I plan to share other spiritual disciplines as well. 

Don’t wait, start connecting with Jesus today, in whatever way you can! Coming to Him doesn’t have to be done any certain way or be prescribed by any person or any particular spiritual discipline. The important part is coming to Him. 

“Then he taught me, and he said to me, ‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live’” (Proverbs 4:4).

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Ireland: Part I

Have you ever traveled to a new place that felt like you were coming home for the first time in your life? That was Ireland to me. I always get nostalgic for Ireland in September; this year marks 7 years since the September I entered my first international terminal. I took this trip alone. I was 24 and I needed to get away. I needed a fresh start. I needed to find out who I was away from everyone I knew. 

To Ireland, alone?

It all started several months before the trip, when I got a very clear, strong nudge, that I could only conclude was God’s nudge, to go to Ireland. The idea to go to a place I didn’t know alone was kind of crazy to me and my logical mind, but this nudge in my heart told me that doing this was the right choice. From that point on, I felt a strange peace about it. I did the unthinkable, and bought my plane ticket without a plan, “Who even am I?” I thought at the time. But there was a huge grin on my face. 

When the time came to board my plane, I had my nightly stops planned out, but enough room to wander if I wanted. This was not a jam-packed trip, as those tourist-filled trips tended to make me anxious; instead each stop was intentional, deliberate, and without rush. Perfect. I needed to slow down and take unhurried time to figure out what God had for me in Ireland. I didn’t know anything about it other than a few of my aunt’s stories from her trip years before, but all of her stories sounded like exactly what I needed–greenery, kind people, and a simple love for the earth and for life itself. I hoped her stories would be true for me too. 

On the plane I marveled at how calm I was. I was sitting next to strangers, many of them Irish, bolting through the air across the Atlantic Ocean all night long toward Shannon International Airport. Once I arrived, I would have no way to contact anyone I knew, and they wouldn’t be able to contact me, until I got a little Irish prepaid phone for emergencies. I planned to post Facebook updates and update my travel blog when I could find an internet cafe or library so that my family knew I wasn’t dead. But I was okay with all of that. What a delicious new freedom it was to have so little safety net! I had to rely on God to take care of me and keep me from harm. I was so happy, despite the jet-lag, when I arrived early in the Irish morning. It was sunny.

Limerick

At my hotel in Limerick, the man behind the bar who served me coffee said that it had rained quite solidly with no sun in months, the wettest summer they’d had in 50 years, and that it must have had something to do with me. I knew he was teasing, but something about it struck me. To me, it was a sign that God was taking care of me here already. Even tottering around on the brick walkways in town jet-lagged, I didn’t fall, twist an ankle, or get mugged (which I later learned was a real possibility in that part of town).

Before I headed to my next stop, I needed to charge my camera because I planned to take copious amounts of pictures of everything, but the electric converter I had brought from home didn’t work. So, I set out again in seedy Limerick to find a converter. The first place I went I met Marcus, a Chilean man with an Irish accent. He was one of the first angels God sent to take care of me, even though he didn’t have any converters to sell me. Instead, he told me exactly where to go to find one, and warned me to be careful in there. Once I left, I knew what he meant, but I got what I needed and went back to show him. He made sure that it worked for me and sent me off. The kindness of people in Ireland just astounded me. I wouldn’t be as trusting of anyone in the US, but everyone I encountered truly was kind. What a gift!

Limerick was the very first place I went in my trip, and the most developed, but it held one of the most beautiful spots. I wandered onto the greenest church grounds you’ve ever seen at St. Mary’s cathedral in the evening, right before it closed. I only had time to peek inside for a moment. The stained glass, curved ceiling, and gold chandeliers made quite an impression on me. I thought quite a bit about God and what His role was in my life during this trip and in general. But He met me in the garden at St. Mary’s. I lingered on the church grounds after the doors closed. The gardens were quiet, lined with stone, and alive. The atmosphere tingled with life and the wisdom of a long history. Then I saw it. There was a quote on the wall that said, “One never feels closer to God’s heart than when in a garden.” 

Walking with God in the garden

It wasn’t just another quote, this one was different. In the spiritual sense, these words shimmered and danced. They struck me as if God was speaking these words directly to me. I paused there a while. I knew God wanted me close. He invited me to get to know His heart, and here in this moment He knew I was ready to hear that invitation. He invites you to the same, but in your own time. He will invite us all in His way that uniquely stirs our heart to find His. This experience established the Ireland trip in my mind as walking on holy ground with God. He would be teaching me as we walked. 

I later came to treasure Genesis 3:8-9, because it speaks of the holy ground I was actually on walking in the little Irish garden. “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’” (Genesis 3:8-9). This passage makes me ache knowing the longing in God’s heart. He longs to enjoy the garden with us. He wants to walk with us as we walk, to see our delight in being where we are, living the life He gave us. How often do I truly remember that His intention was always to walk alongside us? How often do I invite Him along for my walk? Finally, how often do I feel too “busy” to spend time with God in the first place?

There is something about travel that heightens awareness, that allows us to tap into something that we have numbed ourselves to in our everyday surroundings. Back then during the trip, I wrote in my journal, “I think travel is and will continue to be a great opportunity to seek God, finding Him and His love everywhere, in everything, no matter what country I happen to be in.” In Ireland, I was so nimbly able to see God’s love working. The spiritual experience that travel can be is truly amazing and worthwhile. Getting out of my comfort zone and trusting God with the trip is one of my favorite memories. I would encourage anyone to go to a country of great natural beauty and take unhurried time to talk to God and marvel at His incredible creation. 

This past spring, I was fortunate enough to go on a silent retreat to be alone with God. For the first time since that day in Ireland, I felt that same invitation from God as I was walking in the woods past the green leaves of the trees. Suddenly, I knew I was walking with God here. That wood became sacred ground. And this time, I cried tears of joy.  

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