Breaking Two Years’ Silence with Self Love

I’m just realizing my last post was 23 months ago.

I no longer have the desire to blog in the way I used to, spending hours pouring over every word, a little nervous every time I would click “publish.” While I am so grateful for what I was able to share, I couldn’t continue in the old process; I needed time away. Sustaining the writing process is a huge part of blogging, and I needed time to find a better way. So, if you you’re here for the first time, welcome. If you’re still here, thank you. I’ve loved having this space to share my life with the King of all, and I am so grateful to be able to get back to it.

I am in the middle of a season of working on self love, recently kicked into high gear. I don’t know about you, but loving myself never came as naturally to me as loving others. I’ve learned that they truly go hand in hand. The cliche is entirely true, that you have to love yourself before you are capable of fully and truly loving others well. We are all so connected, much more than we tend to realize. The way we love ourselves, or don’t, affects others whether we realize it or not.

So, how do we love ourselves?

For those of us who struggle with this, I’ve found it helps to first rest in Jesus. We can’t white-knuckle our way to loving ourselves, we have to let ourselves go. For me I think it’s the control that I try to keep, often without even realizing it, that blocks love from flowing. When we rest in Jesus, our defenses aren’t up, we are present, and we are showing up in trust of Him that He will keep us safe as we rest. Self love requires trust, and faith in Jesus’ strength, not our own. We can rest sweetly because of Him.

Another way is through the renewing of our mind. Taking every thought captive that is negative about ourselves, recognizing it as something that doesn’t belong and isn’t from Jesus, and resisting, praying that Jesus would release us from the grip of the enemy and keep him far, far away. And, injecting some praise and worship music into that process, rejoicing in the Lord and repeating some declaration lyrics doesn’t hurt either!

And while there are many other ways to love ourselves, the last one I’ll share is to take time to care for the body. Body and mind work together and both need intention to keep aligned with love. Vagal toning exercises to calm the vagus nerve, core strengthening exercises, and strength training have made the biggest impact for me. Strong bodies are needed to support a strong mind, and vice versa. Every time we invest in our bodies, we are also investing in a solid defense mentally against negativity, and lies or doubts about ourselves.

Thanks for reading my first little post in two years (!), and let me know in the comments what has helped you in your own self love journey, let’s support each other as we love ourselves to love others as Jesus loves us.

3 Ways to Walk in Humility

This past weekend, I took a silent retreat on a beautiful little property where life was thriving. The bugs, beetles, flowers, and animals were all singing their songs happily in the summer sun. I had never been there before, and going in, I thought I would use the time in silence to reflect and grieve and process life with the Lord. However, my environment had such an effect on me, that I couldn’t help but pay attention to it. I got caught up in the dance between butterflies, the ripples in the pond, the scent of an old pine tree, the coo of a dove. I couldn’t help but find joy in the moment and in being where I was among so much beauty, designed by our Creator. I felt free to wonder and be in awe in the present moment.

But a few days later, that feeling has worn off. I woke up feeling the same dread that I’ve woken up with on many days; dread of the sadness I’ve endured and sadness I’ve yet to endure. Dread of the pain and process of living. And while that’s a legitimate emotion that should be fully acknowledged and felt and processed, I want to challenge myself and anyone who can relate, with the truth that that feeling is based on an assumption of going through life without God’s presence. Of doing life on our own. But the truth is that God is with me just as much today as He was during my retreat, thus, the feeling is simply unfounded. Not worthless, not shameful, but normal and human. And also, the feeling is robbing me of the full joy of being, here and now. I challenge you and myself to choose to believe the truth that God’s presence is here and provides every reason for joyfulness, even on days when we wake up and don’t feel it’s true. What is true is that He has provided all we could ever need.  

Humility is depending on the Lord to provide. 

We all encounter this dilemma of choosing between humility and pride, both in the big and small decisions in life. I have discussed an aspect of this before in my post, Dealing with Pride. We all want our way, sometimes overtly and sometimes subconsciously, but beneath it all is the same sinister thing that keeps us from humbly submitting to the Lord and trusting His goodness and provision. This makes us feel distant, can turn into that feeling of dread or worse. This is something that we all deal with and learning to deal with it in healthy and life-giving ways can make all the difference in the very trajectory of our lives. We all are born with pride, it’s the human condition, so we all must learn to handle it when it does wash over or take hold of our perspective. So how do we handle pride in a healthy way that won’t distance our hearts from God further?   

1. Remember how God dealt with you kindly even in your worst moments.

An amazing story in the Bible of not only God’s kindness, but the kindness of people for each other is found in the book of Ruth. Kindness is the thread that runs throughout the short four chapters and it goes around the characters like a chain reaction. Kindness and humility go hand in hand. Boaz’s character reflects that of the Lord, who sees our humble loyalty to Him and rewards it with blessing. 

Later in the story, Ruth proposes marriage to Boaz, an extremely bold and humble thing to do, as it vulnerably demonstrates her dependence on him. Boaz dealt with her boldness kindly. It is out of a keen awareness and gratitude for God’s kindness that true humility can rise up in our hearts and help us to act in the love that Jesus calls us to. Even when we don’t act in great love as Ruth did here for her mother-in-law Naomi, we can all think of ways the Lord has dealt kindly with us. As Romans 2:4 says, it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. Fully owning our worst moments and repenting of our pride is the first step in humility.  

2. Decide, once and for all, to pursue genuine change of heart with Jesus.

At some point in our lives, we have to make the choice in faith that God’s way truly is best for us. We all have that decision to make for ourselves, whether His will for the long term is better than getting our way in the short term. There comes a point when we must stop excusing our pride away. At some point we need to acknowledge that anytime and every time that temptation arises, it is never justified to act upon it and follow it if we have committed our lives to following Jesus. We need to recognize it for what it really is, idolatry of the self. By letting our own will rule our perspective, we are placing ourselves in a place only God is righteous, just, and loving enough to fill.

When we are able to own up to our sinful nature, not just a single event or instance, but our heart condition of sin, only then can we fully allow Jesus through the door of our hearts to begin to heal what pride has twisted up in us. When we rely on Jesus with our entire self, we are no longer powerless against pride. We are instead empowered by the Spirit of the Living God to walk in love and humility, even becoming able to truly love our enemies because of God’s love for us while we were still His enemies. This ability is the beautiful and mysterious truth about authentic followers of Jesus. But it doesn’t come easily, and it doesn’t happen immediately. It takes a very close, intimate relationship with Jesus, spending time learning from Him and knowing His love ourselves, not through anyone else’s opinion or experience. It may be helpful to remember that even the demons “knew” Jesus, but they did not believe with a personal trust in Him, which is the kind of knowledge we’re talking about. Knowing Him and His character takes time, just as any relationship does, but it starts with faith that this long journey of learning and seeking to understand the love of Jesus is worth it. 

3. Remember Jesus is King and you are not. 

The more we learn about Jesus, the more beautiful, healing, and powerful we understand Jesus to be, it’s important to remain aware that we will come to identify ourselves with Him, because He identifies so closely and intimately with us. However, we must understand that there is potential in that process for pride to sneak in. Yes, we can identify with Jesus, we model our love and humility after Him. But we must remember who we are, under the authority and ownership of the King, Jesus Christ. Though He can and does work through us, we are not the judge, ever. At best, we may hope to be called His servants, a title of the highest honor for any mortal. As His, we are abundantly provided for, perfectly protected, and infinitely loved. In His care, there is no more need to look for satisfaction in the things that tempt us, because we know where true satisfaction is found, and we have found Him. 

Where is our heart’s condition and motives? This is what Jesus looks at; He fully knows the true condition of our hearts. Come into His presence today. Allowing ourselves to be driven by pride is damaging to us in the long term, but He knows what it’s done to our hearts, and He seeks to fully heal and restore each and every one to wholeness as His beloved ones.

It is only in His presence that our heart is fully at home.  

While only Jesus heals, there is responsibility on our part for our own heart’s condition. It is always God’s will to heal us of our pride and gently, patiently teach us the humility of Jesus, but He always takes our choices into account. Friends, I invite you to choose to know His presence with you in a fresh and deeply healing way. I invite you to the perspective that there is always reason to rejoice because of His presence and salvation. I invite you to stand in awe and wonder in the present Presence of the Lord, because there we are home.

Further Reading: The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller

…I rejoice in your salvation.” (1 Samuel 2:1, ESV). 

But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.’” (1 Samuel 16:7, ESV).  

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace. 

The Intimate Love of God

Half of 2021 has been harder for me personally than the whole of 2020 was. While I love writing and sharing with you on this blog, sharing has seemed next to impossible at times, even to those closest to me. I’m grateful you are here after all this time away. In the past 14 months, I’ve found amazing solace outdoors, taking in the beauty to be experienced on nature walks. Nature somehow has a way of putting me back in the present moment, and it (usually) helps to drown out the noise in my mind.

I remember one day on one of my walks this spring, a particular daffodil caught my eye. It was not yellow; no yellow at all, just all-white petals. I stopped to look closer. The daffodils all around it were either all yellow, or had white petals surrounding an egg yolk-yellow center. Even the inner trumpet was a pure white. Now, maybe this is completely ordinary to you and you’ve seen many a white daffodil, but it struck me as particularly beautiful. I just stood and stared for a while, in awe of what I’d found. It felt special to behold, like seeing a four-leaf clover, or a black squirrel. It felt meaningful somehow, and I was grateful to be there (and present) for it.  

I don’t often mind walking alone, but a couple moments later, I felt a pang of loneliness, wishing I could share the beauty I had found. Feebly, honestly feeling a bit silly, I asked Jesus as I walked toward home, “Did you see that?” Immediately, He was there. This unexplainable knowing of His presence came over me, one I’ve had rarely. Somehow, I knew all at once that Jesus had been and was present with me, I knew He’d heard me, and I just knew the answer was yes, He’s seen it too. “More than that, I see you seeing it,” He seemed to say in my heart. And just like that, I had shared in the wonder I’d found, my longing fulfilled. 

When we draw near in faith, Jesus is quick to fulfill our longings with His love.

Being loved by God and loving Him is so foundational to faith because it allows us to stop trying to fulfill our longings with anything but Him. Faithfully trusting His love, we grow in our own ability to show true love, even when we don’t want to (there are plenty of times when this is the case!). Within God’s love, we are set apart as Holy with Christ, aware of and operating from a place that draws from the well of His deep, complete love, completely different from the partial elements of love we may seek after in the world. I’d like to share a few beautiful passages that illustrate God’s incredible love for us. 

A question God asked was about, arguably, the most damaging decision of all time. Not an obvious choice to show God’s love, but perhaps that is why I find it so remarkable. In Genesis 3:13, God asks Eve, “What is this you have done?,” when He knew she ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. But, did you know that this question isn’t only asked of Eve? 

Many years later, after establishing the nation of Israel through Moses and Joshua, God also asks the same question of the wayward Israelites (Judges 2:2). God used the faithfulness of Moses and Joshua to set the stage for the next best version of Eden possible. Eden, after all, represents God’s set of ideal circumstances for humans to thrive in. However, the Israelites could not keep God’s commands or stay faithful to the Lord.  

When God asks “What is this you have done,” again, hundreds of years later after He had freed His people from slavery in Egypt, built up their character through trial, and established everlasting covenants with them, I read this question with a tone of heartache, not just anger. With bitten-back tears, not only wrath. God wants the best for them, but He does not make decisions for people, or have faith for people–He opens Himself to the vulnerability of true relationship with humanity, and asks what we’ve done, perhaps not for His benefit but for ours. His love is apparent for Israel; even in their whoring against Him (Judges 2:17), this heart-wrenching question may be read from the heart of a Teacher, guiding the people to search their own hearts and ask it of themselves.

God heartbreakingly models what it looks like to love even when we don’t want to.

Hosea chapter 11 is quickly shooting to the top of my list of favorite Scriptures. In it is, to me, one of the most beautiful love letters in the Bible, straight from YHWH Himself to His beloved people Israel, here referred to as Ephraim, who was one of Joseph’s sons. I love to read this chapter as a love letter from our Father directly to us.

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols. Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know I healed them. I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love…” (Hosea 11:1-4a). 

God’s love for Israel is given imagery, and reading on we see that His love never stopped, no matter what the people did. In Hosea, God continues, “How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? … My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my burning anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.” (Hosea 11:8-9). God’s compassion for us is so clear in this passage. Despite His “burning anger,” which unchecked would destroy them, God’s compassion makes destroying His “child,” meaning His people, an impossible option due to His loving character.   

The force of God’s love is stronger than anything, and will never fail because He is God.

Other passages that directly express God’s deep, intimate, and devoted love for us include this one from the prophet Isaiah who writes, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold I have engraved you on the palms of my hands . . .” (Isaiah 49:15-16a).

Again we read the comparison of parent and child when it comes to the compassion of God. But I love this passage because it may refer to the nails driven through Jesus’ hands when He was crucified on the cross. Regardless, we are remembered by God on the very body of Jesus, by the scars from the nails that after His resurrection still engrave His hands (John 20:27), even as He is seated at God’s right hand. That is how intimately God loves us.  

Remembering relationship with God is a recurring theme throughout in the Bible. Jesus can never forget us as this passage from Isaiah states, for we are engraved, if not on his body then on His heart. In turn, God implores His people not to forget what He has done for them, who He is, and who they are because of Him. He asks the same of us, to remember the ways in which He has been and continues to be faithful to each one of us. 

Remembering Whose we are is a vital part of living in relationship with God.

“Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 31:20). Because we read that God’s heart actually yearns for His people, even when they constantly are unfaithful, committing idolatry against Him generation after generation, I invite you to ponder for a moment the weight of the fact that David was referred to as “a man after my own heart” (Acts 13:22). Of calling Jesus, David’s descendant, His Son, “with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11), God shows us that personal devotion to our relationship means everything to Him. Yet, we must remember because we are so prone to fall in line with the Israelites’ way, living in a state of pride and attempting autonomy on our own strength apart from our fiercely loving Father.

In Christ, we no longer have to be afraid of the closeness of God’s love. I admit, Jesus’ presence can be difficult. For me it sometimes seems too good, and too close. But intimacy with God is something that we were made for before sin entered in. What does the enemy know of intimacy? It is innately human to feel the the pull of intimacy we were all born with. May we allow it to drive us to, like David, seek after God’s own heart for ourselves.   

Intimacy with God is more innate to us than our sinful nature.

After I found the white daffodil, that same night I was talking to Jesus about the beauty of the experience, and I felt His almost-too-good presence near again. He spoke to my heart, “Yes, it was beautiful. I saw you seeing it. That’s the way I see you, you know. The way you stopped to see the beauty of that white daffodil is the way I look at you. You’re so beautiful, I stop and point at you and say to my Father and the Holy Spirit, ‘Look! Isn’t she beautiful?’”  

Well, I just about lost it. Maybe you can imagine what hearing that meant to me in a season of isolation, and the intense intimacy of that. It was deeply personal and unique, and yet this is Jesus’ heart towards everyone, even with a “silly” faith the size of a mustard seed that feebly reaches out to Him, He is there for us. Please hear my heart and know that I am not sharing this to brag by any means, but to express the intimacy with which He loves and knows you just as well, and certainly immeasurably more. We are seen, known, appreciated, and loved deeply by Jesus whether we have a relationship with Him or not, and when we reach out to connect with Him, there is truly nothing better. He fulfills our need for love both in the ways we can understand, and far, far beyond them as well. For me that day, it was through a flower. For you, I hope you remember today that He loves you with an unending love, and experiencing that is only ever a reach of your heart in faith away. 

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of Life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. …” (Romans 8:1-3a).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Dad with a Capital D

Scripture tells us that Judas was in charge of the money for Jesus and His disciples (John 12:6, John 13:29). Money, thirty pieces of silver to be exact, ended up being his downfall when he traded Jesus for it (Matthew 26:14-16). Jesus taught by example, and I have to believe Judas was put in charge of the money for good reason, even though he was a thief (John 12:6), to teach him, and to help him overcome his greed and the way it tempted him. By His life and work, Jesus showed Judas that life was more than money, and that God provides for every need. Jesus taught this to Judas regardless of the choices he would end up making. 

Similarly, Jesus gave his three closest disciples the task to watch and pray (Mark 14:34) while He was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, awaiting capture. His command to watch and pray includes the reason, “so that you will not fall into temptation” (Mark 14:38), which struck me as odd the first few times I read it recently. What temptation could they be facing as they were trying to be a comforting presence to Jesus? On one level, the temptation to sleep was very present, the gospel accounts make the point that the disciples there with Jesus did not stay awake. But Jesus seems to be pointing to a greater temptation than sleep, rather, the temptation to fall away and desert Him. This temptation is still very present today, and we are constantly being faced with life lessons about this, feeling the life tension this particular temptation affords.  

God may task us with the things that tempt us the most for our good.

These two very universal examples of greed and disloyalty to God can be great lessons to us from our ever-present and patient yet good, Dad. What tempts you the most? Perhaps you’re already in a position where you are facing temptation with a capital “T” every day. This is what the disciples faced too. They were threatened with death for following Jesus, so the temptation to fall away was very strong. But Jesus knew that in order to love Him and love their neighbors, they would have to be free of their temptations to sin. He knew that surrendering their temptations to God was the way to avoid giving in to them. 

If we are struggling with temptation, we have the opportunity to face it with Christ and accept the freedom He provides from it. Trials such as these actually demonstrate God’s love for us and His work for the best for us, just as Jesus wanted the best for His disciples. He gave them all every opportunity to believe in Him and repent, even Judas, to the very end of his life.

Temptation that has not been faced still threatens to keep us captive, and Jesus told the disciples to face it head-on with God in prayer. God doesn’t want captivity for us, He wants the freedom which we were made for.

God’s lessons aren’t easy, but they teach us to be free. 

When we have need that only God can fill, but go to something else to be satisfied, we are choosing to be a slave to that something else. We give in to the temptation of idolatry when we run to anything but God to fulfill us. God does not desire us to be free of needs or desires, He gave them to us! Instead, He wants us to come to Him to fulfill them, not to anything else. Only He can fulfill all our needs and provide us with lasting satisfaction. Once we come to trust that this is true, we stop explaining it away, and we stop making excuses for our need for safety, security, power, control, love, and affection. This allows us to step into the fullness of Christ, but also into the fullness of ourselves, who we truly are. Letting go of all our very real and present needs and giving them to God instead of trying to meet them ourselves is key. This is where true freedom is for us as human beings.

Many people live their whole lives holding back who they truly are in order to get their needs met by temporal people or things. This is not how God intended us to live. Temptation is the refining fire, the lesson to learn, the test to prove how free we truly are–how fully and deeply we depend on God alone.

Not denying the truth anymore opens us up to being fully ourselves and fully alive.

James, the younger brother of Jesus, wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). These tests and trials he refers to are the temptations Jesus dealt with in his friends, things like greed and disloyalty to God out of fear. 

For many of us, coming to maturity in our freedom in Christ is a lifelong journey. But what if we could start living this way today? What if we lived as if just today, the veil was torn right before our eyes and we enjoyed deep intimacy with God in His presence for the first time? How much more free might we be today with our love for others? How much less would we concern ourselves with money when we are fully aware of how wealthy we are in His abundant presence? Would we give to and serve our neighbors differently? Love our friends and family differently? Be devoted to God on a new level? Let’s take the first step toward this life today, in faith that God will provide all we need to satisfy our desires.

God wants nothing to hold us back from abundant life with Him.

Friends, the Kingdom of Heaven is here on earth right now in us; we can start living as our fullest selves here and now. God desires to help us do that through the Holy Spirit. Are there needs we don’t we trust He can meet? Fears we don’t think He can’t soothe? Problems we don’t think He can solve? I encourage you to join me as I too wrestle with these questions in the presence of God. Today we can see what the disciples’ lessons were, but can we see and learn from our own? Let’s allow God to speak truth and life to all the things that we believe hinder our path to enjoying freedom in His present Kingdom. 

God created us to shape culture, to rule the earth with justice and mercy. When Jesus reigns in our hearts, we bring His Kingdom culture here and now. May we lay the hardest parts of our hearts, our ugliest sins, before the foot of the cross, and allow Jesus to redeem them all. Jesus already paid the price for them. He is the ever-patient Dad to us, never forcing even His love and presence, upon us. He loves you and never gives up on His design for your freedom. Today may we let Him love us despite it all. All truly is forgiven.  

Further Reading:

Garden City by John Mark Comer

The Welcoming Prayer by Thomas Keating

Freedom to Love

In my previous post, I wrote in depth about the pervasive force of fear, but ended on the idea that truth brings freedom, “… the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). My post 5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ goes into some of the practical details. Now I want to go into more depth about the idea of freedom, and why it’s so important. 

Freedom is all about Love.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Freedom in Christ points to freedom from the power of sin and death over us. But that’s not all; freedom was intended to give way to a culture of love.  

Somehow, the longer we are in the world, the more we seem to fall asleep to the fact that we are free. It becomes all too easy to only love those who love us back, and only love that which benefits us personally. As Jesus said, “what reward is there for that?” (Matthew 5:46 (NLT)). When we feel obligated to love, it is not love of our own free will. It is not love freely given, the kind of love God longs for us to have towards Him and toward others. Once we understand that in His great love Jesus has already set us free, everything can change.

Freedom is why I gave up everything to choose faith in Him—it’s the best thing I ever did. 

I used to constantly chase love, happiness, success, and contentment. The longer I was striving for my desires, the more I felt that somehow, I was under their power—and I was! In a way, we are enslaved to whatever it is that our heart desires. That’s why it is so important to guard your heart.

God understood this fully when He created us. As humans, we were designed to be subservient to something beyond ourselves. God made us this way with the intention to only be subservient to Him, who never exploits this delicate feature of who we are. This is my opinion friends, but I believe this is the reason the first commandment prohibits idolatry (Exodus 20:3). God knew how He designed us better than anyone or anything, and wanted to protect us from the harm that serving anything other than Him would do to us. 

From the Beginning, God wanted us to dwell in His presence and have intimate relationship with Himand He designed us accordingly!

How beautiful is the vision of a life where we could withstand the holiness of God and experience the unimaginable glory of His full physical presence! This is what Jesus’ restoration of all things looks likeGod, restored to His rightful, original place as our ruler and friend, the literal and only “owner” of us and everything in the universe. No more being “owned” by the world’s consumerism, alcoholism, pornography, money, drugs, alcohol, relationships, fame, influence, status, lies, most types of societal expectations, the list goes on, for the exploitation of our thoughts and feelings. Until He comes again, we are susceptible to these traps; “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for ‘people are slaves to whatever has mastered them’” (2 Peter 2:19). 

So many of us settle for being “free” to pick our own poison, fooling ourselves with this “good enough” freedom, convincing ourselves, “This isn’t so bad.” Friends, this is false freedom, and is not what we were made for. We can only deny our bondage for so long before our souls cry out. Being truly free comes when we yield our hearts, minds, and souls to God, the only One trustworthy enough to be our owner. The One whose judgment is impartial, who never exploits us by His power, and will never overstep our free will. He patiently gives us space to respond to Him in our own way in our own time. In Him, and Him alone, we are freefree indeed.  

Trust God to set you free from your idols today.

He is able. He is bigger than even that thing that scares you more than anything else in the world. Ask Him to end your bondage today and for help to stop luring others into bondage with you. God expresses His love to us by giving us freedom from sin and death, and free will to make our own decisions in life. He will help you if you ask Him with a sincere heart. It’s no wonder we struggle at times to feel His love, His gift of freedom is constantly being threatened by the world we live in! This is by no means new.

God first promises freedom to the Israelites via Moses in Exodus 6:6, “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.” God wants to free and redeem us just as much as He wanted to free and redeem the Israelites in bondage. He is faithful, and will show mercy. The question for them, and for us, then becomes, 

“Okay, so you’ve been liberated from your Egypt, but are you going to continue living in a mentality of bondage?” 

We can become so accustomed to being manipulated by a partner, family member, or friend, being loyal to a particular party or denomination, being unwilling to learn the Bible for ourselves, listening only to other people talk about what Jesus is like instead of talking to Him directly, that our minds struggle to break free of those old patterns. Our minds can come to expect bondage and subservience and reinforce it, even when we are actively trying not to.

But, there is good news, friends! Jesus’s truth makes it possible to transform any bondage mentality; Scripture commands it: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). We now know that even the physical fissures formed in our brains that reinforce routine patterns can be changed. Thankfully, God made our brains with neuroplasticity so those pathways can be transformed! For many, freedom comes slowly through hard work, not all at once. It takes time and intention to change our thinking to align with the truth of God’s love and freedom, but it is possible. Take heart and do not give up hope, friends! Through Christ we no longer have to feel stuck in our minds believing we’re free when our hearts and spirits know we’re not. He frees us fully and completely.

What does Jesus have to do with freedom? Everything! because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).  

If you don’t know who Jesus is, I encourage you to seek Him. God promises that when you “seek the Lord your God … you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29). Luke 4:18 describes Jesus as proclaimer of good news to the poor, sight for the blind, and freedom for prisoners and those who are oppressed. Revelation 1:5 describes Jesus as the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler. But even as powerful and glorious as He is, He makes it clear in Scripture that He is a personal God who wants you and me to know Him on a deep and intimate level so we can experience the depth of His love and the gift of the true freedom that only He can give.

When we devote our lives to seeking and following Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit. He awakens us and empowers us to be our authentic selves, truly free of anything that might hold us back in our lives. In the freedom that Christ has generously given, we are free to be the people that we already are fully and as God designed us to be, without being subject to the rule of anything but God, as He intended.  

The vision of freedom looks like each one of us being all of our true selves.

Maybe you’re thinking, that sounds great and all, but it sounds too good to be true, or, I don’t feel victorious or free, even though I believe in Jesus already! Friends, as Jesus Himself said, “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Our faith is what counts as righteousness. God did not promise a life of feeling good, He promised His presence and faithful love for us. He is with us, even when we don’t feel it. “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

Jesus allows us to live a life even now of continual restoration and blessing! In Him, we are no longer subject to spiritual death (Hebrews 2:14). All we must do is have faith in Him, and the full gifts of righteousness Jesus bought by His blood shed on the cross become ours, not that we deserve it, but thanks to His grace and love.

God’s plan will come about.

His plan involves full freedom, from a physical body prone to decay, heartbreak, and anything contrary to love; a plan with nothing more to separate us from Him. God wants all barriers between us and Him to be broken, as He has desired from the very beginning, and is working even now to complete this work. Nothing we’ve done, or the enemy has done, can stop God’s plan from unfolding, or His promises from being fulfilled.   

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3-5a). 

God carries you, as a Father carries His child, into a future of His glory.

I love to imagine what the fullness of God’s glory will look like, but nothing we imagine could ever come close! His glory is total and complete love and acceptance, boundless freedom and creativity, incomprehensible grace, and profound truth. His glory is endless worship and praise of His real and true name, intimacy and closeness to His amazing presence, and wonderful loyalty and faithfulness. He wants nothing more than to tuck you into His arms and carry you in His love and provision until the day when you take your place in the room He has prepared for you. To be fully loved gives us the freedom to love in the same way, and create the culture of love that exists today between Father, Son, and Spirit. God’s will and all of time are pushing toward this reality, no matter how distant it may seem.

The freedom to be in the presence of God is the most wonderful freedom there is. It costs everything the world offers, but it is worth everything and more. “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life” (Romans 6:22). We must not forget that there is freedom here and now in God’s gifts, not just in eternal life. Here and now, Jesus allows us to experience a healthy and truth-honoring transformation of our minds, to choose to walk with the Holy Spirit moment by moment, to love with a selfless and free love, and to have hope of the glory to come in life eternal.

May we be people who choose the freedom to love without limits. 

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). 

Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves” (1 Peter 2:16). 

For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory“ (Psalm 149:4). 

 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55).

Further reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.

We Can Know What is True

The level of fear I’ve been witnessing in the start of 2021 has left me stunned. We are living in a time of extreme spiritual confusion. Being confused easily breeds fear; we naturally fear what is unknown. It is the world’s way to keep fear alive and well, because what we fear has power over us.

We forget that we can choose not to be swept up in the tides of fear. We can get so used to it that we don’t even know we’re afraid. Even when fear feels so real to us, no matter how chaotic things seem, it is helpful to remember that God is not a God of fear or confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33a). He is a God of love and peace, and He wants to give these gifts to us.

How do we know we’re experiencing spiritual confusion (AKA fear)?

There are many warning signs that can serve as signposts that we are swerving toward fear and confusion.

Just a few may include: 

  • If we try to control people and/or things around us to a very strict degree. 
  • If loving God and loving people become an afterthought. 
  • If we are consuming greater quantities of news than of the Word of God. 
  • If we are buying things we usually wouldn’t, doing things we usually wouldn’t, considering things we usually wouldn’t, or saying things we usually wouldn’t. 

When we are centered and clear on God’s Word and His love, it is important to pray and consider reaching out in grace and truth to help someone else in the grip of fear and confusion. God commands us to love one another and does not want us to be afraid of the things of this world, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Friends, my prayer for us all is for the discernment to realize when enough is enough when it comes to fear. Fear destroys the spirit and does not protect us, only God can do that. The truth is, no matter how bad things seem or feel to us in the moment, God’s plan will come about. God’s promises remain true and undisturbed. Jesus loves us beyond comprehension and is still on the throne interceding for us. “There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4:18a). God is calling us to be people who love one another and stay away from the trap of fear, brought on by lies, in our minds.

Jesus is the Truth

Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him’” (John 14:6-7). 

When we follow Jesus we become a person of truth. Further on in the gospel of John, Jesus speaks about his relationship with truth further:

Then Pilate said to him, ‘So you are a king?’ Jesus answered, ‘You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.’ Pilate said to him, ‘What is truth?’ After he had said this, he went back outside to the Jews and told them, ‘I find no guilt in him’ (John 18:37-38). 

To be in Christ is to be in truth. Knowing Christ is knowing the truth. Truth is something we can stand on, something that needs to be taken very seriously since we human beings are susceptible to confusing truth with almost-truth. But God has given us His Word and His Son Jesus Christ, who came as the very embodiment of the truth. In Christ, we can resist fear and what is false.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7b). We may know this verse, but how do we resist the father of lies, the devil? How do we stop aligning ourselves with the things that are not true about where God is taking humanity, who God is, and who we are as His beloved people? 

By aligning ourselves with Jesus in actively loving one another as He loves us (John 13:34-35).  

When we live in loving ways, we act contrary to fear in the same way that Jesus did. We act in trust of a reality not of fear but of love and peace. We actually bring God’s Kingdom to earth. While it takes time and effort, we are able to watch our thoughts and catch ourselves in the lies we believe so that we can realign our thoughts with the truth. Living in fear and believing lies about ourselves, God, and other people is like putting blinders on ourselves. It is not loving to ourselves to entertain lies. We have the choice to take the blinders of fear off, but when confusion takes hold of our lives and spirits, we can easily forget that this is true. It can be difficult to remember that there is abundant life outside of the limited view we see in our blinders. 

Leaning on Jesus is where we find peace. In Him there is no fear, and from His peace we can start to see beyond the blinders and let Him heal the spiritual wounds of fear. 

In the new Pixar movie Soul, there is an apt illustration of this idea. The only thing in the film that can dissolve the dark cloud of fear and lies that cause souls to become “lost” souls is the truth. Once the lost soul can see one part of the truth, it brings them back to reality and life and they can uncover more of the truth. In this way, Soul is onto the truth of how God designed our souls to be–to respond to truth, and to struggle when we allow ourselves to believe lies. 

I want to be clear and say that Jesus is with us even and especially in our fear. He is present with you and working even and especially while you are afraid. He will never, ever leave you alone in your fear. 

Use the Discernment of the Spirit

There is a pervasive perception that there is so much information that is false or fake that it is impossible to know what is true. But this perception misses the fact that the Holy Spirit dwells within each one of us who believe in Jesus.

It misses that the Holy Spirit knows the truth even if it is not reported or false testimony is given. It misses that the Holy Spirit speaks to us in our spirits and we can practice listening to His voice (Hebrews 5:14). It misses that the Holy Spirit gives us discernment between truth and almost-truth.

When in fear, we must repent and ask the Holy Spirit to help us discern between truth and almost-truth. 

It is when we believe almost-truth that some of the most sinister fear enters into our lives. “Almost-truth” is Satan’s specialty, and lately there are almost-truths being spread even more than those viral videos in the early 2000s. Instead of reacting to them, and giving them our precious energy, we can act in accordance with the truth, and go to God and His unshakable promises and love.

We can know the truth by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Many of us struggle to distinguish between our own voice and God’s. Indeed, it takes practice. Discernment takes an understanding of the fruit of the Spirit, a knowledge of the character and Word of God.

Whenever we find ourselves afraid, we can ask the Holy Spirit questions, such as, Does what I’m fearing leave room for grace? Does what I’m fearing question who God is? Questions like these can help us test and know if we are in alignment with the truth. 

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1 John 4:1). We can test every spirit, every swaying force or idea, and indeed we are commanded to do so. This is part of loving and taking care of the temples that we are. 

May we be people of the truth, valuing what Jesus values, obeying and listening to the voice of Jesus instead of the loud voices of fear or confusion. Let us pray for wisdom and discernment, so that our lives are lived not in fear but Christ-like love.

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:32). 

Characteristics of God: Faithful Friend

What makes a good friend? A lot of things come to mind about different friends I’ve had in my life, but I don’t often stop to consider how God has been the most faithful friend to me of them all. 

This post continues the Characteristics of God series where we discuss, Who is God and What is He like?

God is our faithful friend because He is closer to us than anyone, He loves us beyond measure and wants the best for us, He doesn’t leave when things get messy, and He affirms the truth, that our identity is in Him. 

You and I were designed to be with God, yet my tendency is to isolate, withdraw, and pull away from intimacy with Him. Perhaps especially because on His part, there is only goodness and love, deep care and concern for my well being. 

It’s hard for me to allow myself to be loved like that, with nothing held back. All my sin is exposed and I want to hide it. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. But God wants us to hang in there even though it’s uncomfortable sometimes. He longs for us to push past this feeling and walk in the truth, that we can’t hide anything from Him, nor does He want us to. He invites us into close friendship with Him every moment of every day. 

Jesus paid the cost for us to draw closer than close to Him.

God is faithful to guide us day by day, sometimes even when we aren’t paying attention, into learning His love and how to give it to others. But then, how do we be a friend to God? 

A faithful friend is someone who doesn’t leave when things get messy. When one falls apart, the other doesn’t get scared off. They stay present. They don’t agree with negativity and they remind us of what’s true and who we are. 

That’s exactly what Moses did for God Himself. 

But wait, you might be thinking, God wanted to leave when things got messy? He did! Moses talked to Him about it, in Exodus 32. I didn’t really understand why Moses was called the “friend of God” until I recently read this incredible story. 

The Israelites had turned to idolatry, putting their desires first, and that made God extremely angry. God became so angry, in fact, that He wanted to kill them (Exodus 32:10). Who can’t relate to that feeling? That moment when our blood boils and all we can see is red; God said to Moses, “Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you” (Exodus 32:10). 

I suspect God wanted to be left alone by Moses so that Moses wouldn’t be near the line of fire, but I also think of how anger can get more intense when we’re alone. We have time to sit and revel in how angry we are and dwell on all the reasons why our anger is justified. I can understand wanting to be alone when angry. 

But Moses didn’t leave God alone! 

When God told Moses what He was thinking He wanted to do in anger, Moses was calm enough to reason with God. He interceded for the Israelite people, “Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, to whom you swore by your own self…” (Exodus 32:13), reminding God of the bigger picture of redemption from sin, and how His plan to preserve Israel was in line with His character.  

In Exodus chapter 33, God was still angry with the Israelites, even after He had sent due punishments on them. His friend Moses then coaxed Him to draw near the people again. God seemingly preferred to send an angel (33:2) instead of going with the people Himself. But Moses reminded God of their friendship (33:12), and reminded God of who He is, and who He is to His people (33:16). 

Moses encouraged God to act in His identity as their God, which Moses said was “in [His] going with [His] people” (33:16). And He did! Moses’ friendship was so strong with God because he knew God’s heart. Moses, and we too, are MADE for this deep friendship with Him.

That depth of friendship with Him is what God invites us to do today, right now.

Because Jesus made it possible, we are under a newer covenant with God than Moses and the Israelites had; one that is defined by faith and intimacy with God, instead of works and sacrifice. Jesus paid it all so that we could always draw near, and so that He could always go with us. 

Think of your best friend. Someone you wouldn’t mind being around all the time, someone who you’d always enjoy having at events or during travels. That is how God feels about us.

God moved heaven and earth when He became flesh to be with us, to be friends with us, to be present with us in our midst, and to make it possible for us to be with Him in unhindered friendship. 

Is a friendship with God, like Moses had, really possible?

Rest assured that it is not only possible, but God longs for it! God is deeply moved by us and our faith in Him. The state of our hearts and what we do matters to Him because He loves us. He truly wants the best for you and me. That is the best kind of love a friend can give us! 

God is certainly not an impersonal, unmovable force that pays no mind to our prayers or pleadings, as the conversation scene in Exodus illustrated so beautifully. Instead, He allows us to influence Him, just as Moses did, by our faith in and knowledge of His character. That’s why knowing who He is and what He does is so important! God influences us, but because He desires authentic relationship with us, we also are able to influence Him, including in prayer. 

God is our most faithful friend.

In the Bible, friendship often implies a treaty (Deut 23:6, Ezra 9:12)–an agreement of peace and mutual benefit; give-and-take. For much of His ministry, Jesus gave to His disciples as a master to a servant, but in John 15 after the Last Supper, Jesus distinguishes a change in their relationship. At last, after knowing, following, and walking with Him for several years, the disciples are no longer just servants, but Jesus considers them His friends: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). 

Our friends not only know what we do, but why we do it. Jesus admits that His hand is tipped, so to speak, that He let them in to the intel of God’s plan. Even the prophets saw it only in part, they didn’t see or know it all. Jesus not only revealed God’s plan in full, He fulfilled that plan. 

That changes how He relates to us, now in a more intimate way than any other time prior. Through the Holy Spirit in us, God is closer to us than our breath itself. We are able to be even closer to God than Moses, whose face was radiant from being so close to His presence (Exodus 34:30)! Remembering how God has been a faithful friend to us can greatly inspire us to go and do the same.

In Merciful Master, I talk about bringing the Kingdom of God to earth by showing mercy. We also bring the Kingdom to earth by being a faithful friend–to others, to ourselves, and back to God. 

A faithful friend won’t let us forget our true identity. 

Our true identity is secure and unchanging because it lies in God. Though the world often tells us the opposite, our identity in Christ is worthy, enough, and loved. This truth of who we really are has the power to bring us back to life when discouraged, and friends can speak this truth to us. Jesus can do this most powerfully and fully because He IS life and truth itself. 

Investing in friendship with Him is never a regret. God is such a faithful friend that He named Himself “God with us,” Emmanuel (Matthew 1:23), naming Himself (yet again) by His relationship with us (eg: Jealous, I AM). Still, we forget all the time what our true identity is. Thankfully, God is faithful to remind us as we walk in friendship with Him.   

In His friendship there is no concern that He will leave or forget who we are, even if we do

Our true, faithful Friend Jesus loves us beyond measure. Despite how hard it can be to accept untainted, unselfish love from God, we are called to lean into it. He is faithful to make His character clear when we are willing to see past our own. 

May we have abundant faith that Jesus paid the full and final cost for us to enter into close friendship with Him. 

The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent” (Exodus 33:11). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

Characteristics of God: Merciful Master

How many times this year have you come to the end of a day when the darkness, pain, and suffering in the world has been starkly apparent to you, and just been glad that the day was ending? One of my favorite verses says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). How relieving to know that no matter what the day has been like, the mercies of God never end, and His mercy is refreshed and restored with the new day, every day. This verse has come to my mind many times, especially in this last year. It is a reminder that no matter what has happened, no matter how discouraged we may feel, we have good reason to end any day with gratefulness for God’s renewed mercy. 

This post continues the Characteristics of God series, where we will unpack the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

When I stop to think about it, the mercy God has shown to me is astounding. He has stayed present with me through everything, and has given me many, many chances to repent even when I resisted His presence. Even through all the horrors that have happened recently, God has shown mercy in countless lives, and has never left any one of us alone. Even when we reject Him and turn away from Him, He still gives us every chance to repent because the very essence of His character is merciful. “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;” (Daniel 9:9).  

Scripture declares that God shows mercy, and gives many examples of His merciful character. 

God Himself gave a beautiful, clear, and direct declaration about His own character in Exodus 34:6: “…’the LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty…’” This declaration to Moses is referred to multiple times in the Bible thereafter, in Psalms, Joel, Jonah, and Nehemiah. 

I want to focus here on the word merciful, the very first adjective that God uses to describe Himself in this passage. When the people He called by His own name made a golden calf to worship instead of Him, He was merciful. When people spit in the face of Jesus, He was merciful. When I rebelled and went my own way, He was merciful. How wonderfully we are blessed that God’s heart is ever-willing through every age to show mercy towards us! “Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God” (Nehemiah 9:31). 

We are completely at God’s mercy, but we can be abundantly thankful that He is indeed a merciful God. 

Justice is also a part of God’s character. Based on sin alone, we deserve death, we deserve to be forsaken by our holy and righteous God. But, because God’s very character is also merciful, He has made a way for us all through Jesus Christ to be freed from the debt of sin, a debt far too great for us to ever be able to pay. We were caught in sin with no way out, and it is by His mercy God renews, restores, and sustains the life we can now share with Him because of Jesus, who took our place on the cross. 

He is the giver of life now and forever and wants more than anything, even more than His own life, to give that life to us. “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit” (Psalm 51:12). The mercy of God is the source of our salvation and joy! I invite you to celebrate in that truth with me today, friends. Rejoicing is something that God invites us to do no matter the circumstances: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). Rejoicing acknowledges (Proverbs 3:6) that God is merciful, and that His mercy runs deeper than all the brokenness in the world. 

God’s mercy gives us reason to rejoice no matter the circumstances.  

Where is your greatest need for God’s mercy today? Please be encouraged to talk to Him about it and let it all go into His capable hands. He wants you to rely on Him and trust Him with everything in your heart; there is nothing you can ever say that will keep Him from loving you (Romans 8:39).

The Role of Master

We often hear God described as our Father, comforter, and close friend, and while that is absolutely true, His characteristic of mercy implies that God also has powerful authority over us. He has ultimate control over our lives and should also be acknowledged as our Master. By paying our debt, He literally owns us. He could treat us in any way He wished, and be justified. Yet, He chooses to treat us with unending love, compassion, and, yes, mercy. He never takes advantage of us or manipulates us for His own end. 

The book of Psalms uses the analogy of the master’s relationship to his dependent servant for that of God with His people. Our dependence on God’s mercy is evident: “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us” (Psalm 123:2). 

We are fully dependent on God’s mercy to provide for us. 

Because mercy is a characteristic of God, we can rest and rely on Him to be true to who He is, showing us mercy until the very end. All He asks is repentance, to turn from our sin and have faith that He is who He has always said He is. “Return, O faithless children, declares the Lord; for I am your master; I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion” (Jeremiah 3:14). By His mercy, He provides a home for us with Him.

Jesus also used a master and servant analogy in parables to describe our relationship with God, as in this verse: “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master’” (Matthew 25:21). This verse is not describing a works-based salvation, but one requiring faith and implying the mercy of the Master. There is far greater joy awaiting us with our Master in eternity than all the sorrow and pain of this world. Now that is something we can take confidence in rejoicing about!

Growing in Mercy

In receiving God’s rich and deep mercy, we have been given a priceless gift. Jesus taught that we have the responsibility to then go and show mercy to others: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

We often hope for and perhaps even expect mercy from other people, but actually showing mercy toward others is often quite difficult when we are wronged or harmed. Showing mercy to others has no guarantee of instant gratification, or gratification at all. Jesus said, “Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours” (John 15:20). 

Showing mercy may result in some persecution. But, being generous with the mercy we ourselves have received from God provides opportunity to practice patience and forgiveness. When we show unselfish, compassionate mercy, we are actually bringing God’s Kingdom to earth here and now. I can think of no better way to provide evidence that God is real! Showing mercy is a beautiful way of demonstrating His love (John 13:35).  

People were certainly not always merciful toward Jesus, so we cannot expect people to always show mercy to us. While mercy from people is not guaranteed, we can take heart that God is always merciful; He Himself has declared and demonstrated it throughout Scripture, and in countless ways today. 

May we rejoice today in the unending mercy of God! 

…Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13). 

“‘…Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?’ He said, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You go, and do likewise’” (Luke 10:36-37). 

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

My Elimination Diet Story

This week marks one year of changing everything about the way I eat by adopting a strict elimination diet.

Thirteen months ago, I was in tears at my parents’ kitchen table. I was talking to my family about the overwhelming task of drastically and permanently changing my diet, and by extension the way I go about life. But hold on, you might be thinking, what does an elimination diet have to do with life with the King? 

It called upon me to step out of passivity and step into what was right for my body, a temple of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5; 2 Timothy 1:14), not just sometimes but at every single meal. It called upon me to develop a spirit of discipline and perseverance. It called upon me to practice self-control. It called me to trust God in a deeper way. Ultimately, I want to share my story because it revealed things I needed to let God heal in me, and if I can do it, you can too.  

What I Gave Up

I was at a point where I felt stuck in a grab-and-go and restaurant-heavy diet. It worked with my busy lifestyle at the time, eating out on my way here or on the way back from there. The more I gave in to unhealthy diet choices, the more I was tempted by the constant food marketing we all see advertised. Not to mention giving all those foods up would surely ruin my social life; so much of it revolved around eating together with friends. Some of my favorite memories with them involve elaborate potlucks, and going to restaurants for birthdays or other celebrations. We even made a run of trying to sample all the world cuisines; many of us just love food. 

Eliminating the ingredients found in virtually everything? I was very concerned about sounding snobbish, rude, or judgmental if I refused the foods all my friends were eating. Not only that, but how else would we spend time together? (Yes, this was pre-COVID-19). 

While diet was my only ticket out of a prescription I had been taking for years, I was also terrified to stop taking it. To give up my prescription was what I wanted, but it actually meant that I would be facing the scariest withdrawal side effect, depression, head-on. It had hit me with a vengeance less than two weeks after I stopped the prescription once before, around three years prior. Depression messes with my concept of identity, not to mention life itself. Believing the lies depression tells is what scares me perhaps more than anything else. That fear of depression had kept me passively accepting my health situation to that point.

I also just doubted my own resolve. I felt unprepared to give up my restaurant fixes and my social life, like all I had to fight it with was my weak and admittedly underdeveloped self-discipline. 

But my feelings were wrong; the truth was I had God on my side too. 

Little did I know then that He would work so much more in this food journey than I ever imagined. I also had people in my family who encouraged and believed in me to see it through. They prayed for me and believed I could stay on course even though I didn’t. That kitchen table conversation? I left that night with renewed hope and resolve. 

Perseverance and Discipline

The initial motivator that made me push past all these hangups and attempt to discipline myself? The desire to stop taking the prescription I was on (an elimination diet plan would prepare my body for weaning off). Diet was the only option I knew of for doing that. Also, that same prescription was starting to cause ever-more-severe side effects that I had grown weary of tolerating.  

To clarify, I am NOT anti-medication. Medication can and does help people in many cases and there is absolutely a place for them. However, when the costs outweigh the benefits, I believe we need to look for safe alternatives; so that is what I did. 

After six years on my prescription, I had developed severe gastrointestinal (GI) side effects, or “leaky gut.” This is a known side effect. Sadly, my doctor dismissed it as something that can’t be tested or measured, despite my acute and nearly constant pain. 

Changing your lifestyle sounds like such a cliche until you actually try it. It’s hard work, and it takes planning and a willingness to disappoint other people if and when necessary. It takes removing temptations entirely from your environment. It also takes a really, really important reason. 

Sure, I wanted to feel better and get out of pain, but mostly I wanted to gain back my freedom from this prescription I no longer felt was helping me. I did not want to be that dependent on anything but God. And it was harming my body as well. Being strung along against my will just would not do any longer; it was clear to me then that it didn’t fit with what I believe. But soon I came to realize there were many other ways it didn’t fit me. 

Self Control

To help prepare my prescription-dependent brain and body to wean off, I committed to clean foods. I committed to investing a bit more in my health and purchasing organic fruit and vegetables, grass-fed meat, and pasture raised eggs. I went gluten, grain, soy, dairy, corn, caffeine, alcohol, processed/added sugar, potato, and peanut free on September 3rd, 2019. 

Miraculously, I stuck faithfully to this for the first six months (I followed a fantastic book’s plan which also included some supplements—with my doctor’s approval). This meant that suddenly, cooking became a much bigger part of life. In order to make it work for me and my personality as much as possible, I got rid of everything in my kitchen that had any ingredients I couldn’t eat and replaced them all with plan-friendly alternatives, like swapping soy sauce for coconut aminos, or white flour with almond flour. To help myself with self-control, I needed to minimize temptation. 

I was going to make sure that I was welcome in my own kitchen, even if nowhere else. 

I armed myself with plenty of versatile, fun recipes to try, like Thai chicken soup and spiced stir fry, so I never got bored within the ingredient limitations. I can count on one hand the times in those first six months that I ate anything I didn’t prepare myself—mostly times when I was out with friends. Most of those times I was eating within my ingredient restrictions, but none of those instances went particularly well. The cross-contamination was likely just too high. However my body was, thankfully, able to recover more quickly than before I started the elimination diet.

My previously constant GI symptoms mostly disappeared around the two-month mark of being on this plan, around early November 2019. Let me repeat that, 

It took only two months of diligence in self control for my leaky gut symptoms to disappear

That’s when I started feeling really good, relieved, energized, and motivated to keep going. I stuck to it through tempting holiday foods at Thanksgiving and Christmas with no unmanageable cravings.  

For anyone who believes inflammation or GI symptoms can’t be helped from diet and supplements alone, from the foods and plants that God’s earth provides for us, I am living proof that they can

After four months, I felt my body had gotten accustomed to the diet and was still feeling good. Finally, I was ready to stop taking my prescription in late December (again, with my doctor’s approval). I also started some more intense supplements to help repair intestinal damage and support my liver function even more. At that point, I’d done all I could do and prayed to God, asking Him to take care of the rest. I’d reached the first milestone—four months of eating for my health. Would it pay off? Could depression and other medication withdrawal side effects really be staved off? 

I continued faithfully with the diet through January. By late February, I had no negative side effects of stopping my prescription. I was both shocked and delighted. I could begin the food reintroduction phase of the elimination diet.

First, I tried reintroducing gluten, then dairy, corn, rice, potatoes, and peanuts. Each time I felt mildly tired and lethargic. It wasn’t painful, but I knew how great it was to feel at my best, and surprisingly, even just the “mild,” pain-free cost was no longer worth it to me. I could try reintroduction of these things again after a few months; these costs can lessen over time. For now, I only eat these ingredients in small amounts and very occasionally.  

I reintroduced oats with no negative symptoms, so I now eat them regularly. Because of the way my body reacts to them, I have not tried and have no plans to reintroduce soy, caffeine, alcohol, or added sugars—maybe ever.  

I am still very much in the middle of my self-control journey, but I’ve learned a lot in just one year.

Before starting an elimination diet, I didn’t restrict myself at all as to what, how much, or when I eat. But all these factors affect our bodies, and in turn our minds and spirits as well. Proverbs 25:28 reads, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” This past year’s elimination diet has been more than a diet, it has been a process of first realizing that my own internal “city” had some broken walls, and then putting the walls back together, piece by piece, day by day, meal by meal. Excess of anything without restriction, and ultimately gluttony, isn’t the Way of Jesus. In fact, it is in opposition to it. 

In an elimination diet mindset, you have to die to your will, forget about what you want to eat or feel pressure to eat, and follow the plan, because it’s the best thing for you and your health. Sounds familiar, right? Similarly, I can’t just go and do or say whatever I want because I have chosen to yield to the authority of Jesus. 

You can deny yourself and pick up your cross even when it comes to food choices.

Specifically, picking up my cross means loving God, loving others, and loving myself. Was eating whatever, whenever, even when it was harmful for my body, in line with my beliefs–in line with loving myself? For me, it was not. Treating my body in any way other than as the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is was not loving myself. It was suppressing who I am, mind, body, and spirit. My mind made excuses for it, my body tried in vain to compensate for it, and my spirit was dissatisfied by the whole thing. If I hadn’t suffered with the intolerable symptoms of leaky gut that tipped the scale for me to take action, I shudder at the thought that I might still be in that place.  

I honestly was blind to the issues with eating whatever whenever before I actually started taking the actions of preparing and eating the right foods. Usually, our thoughts motivate our actions, but sometimes our actions help clarify our thoughts when it comes to the Truth–this was one of those profound times for me. 

Restricting my diet helped me gain a sense of self-control that I didn’t have before, and it healed a part of my spirit and mind in the process!

I started out last August dreading a restrictive elimination diet, thinking I would fail and feel terrible about myself, but today, thanks be to God, the opposite is true. I feel happier with myself having acted on it and seeing it through faithfully. My friends didn’t abandon me, in fact, they fully supported me in my health journey; now looking back I wonder why I didn’t think that they would! 

Sticking to something healthy for my body was an act of love for self, which I now see as an act of love for God. I wasn’t compromising my peace of mind or arteries anymore for a greasy, sweet takeout meal. I was doing what I set out to do for my health and well being, letting God take care of the rest. And that’s exactly where I’d ever want to be! 

Trust God 

I learned that God gave us an amazing array of foods that can interact with our bodies in some very healing and restorative ways. 

This journey on an elimination diet helped me to learn that looking at food with this perspective can free us from wanting to make the unhealthy diet choices constantly being marketed to us via all forms of media. It also gave me a whole new layer of self agency—I was at a point with diet a year ago where I didn’t believe I could resist some of the food marketing (doughnut commercials, anyone?), and now that I’ve gone through it, I believe it is possible for anyone

Eating differently and making food choices for my health led me to see food differently; I thought it was interesting to note that it didn’t happen the other way around–the perspective shift came by doing. In the day-to-day, I have learned that self control over my food choices is ultimately much more satisfying to my soul, and is much more in line with who I am and what I believe, than indulgence. 

Now, I am still on this journey! I have had some recent, though much less severe, health issues show up that are still in need of full healing. I am fine-tuning, working with doctors and experimenting with natural supplements to support overall health and heal the root issue of symptoms instead of taking medications to mask them, as I had before. Natural, “God-made” ingredients are the way I want to go whenever possible. I would not have thought a natural remedy was even a legitimate option had I not gone through the food journey I went on this year or experienced the healing I did. 

My elimination diet process showed me how deeply our bodies are connected to the health of our minds and spirits, and that our bodies are equally important for our overall health. 

God provides what we need to heal, and change is possible no matter how intimidating, when it comes to being more of who God made you to be and living out your beliefs about Him. 

I had to let go of some things in my life to live out what I believe and live out my trust in God. I now have a desire to continue taking action and walking in trust, to continuously act on trust that God provided me with a body that can adapt, heal, and thrive on the foods that He made, instead of the (in my case) harmful chemicals that man made. 

When we pay attention to and love our bodies, and what information they are giving us about our health (they always do!), we love ourselves and fulfill His commandment to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). By allowing God to heal us, and walking in that healing, we become a living testament of His goodness.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).

“...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love” (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

Characteristics of God: Restorer of Wholeness

We might hear the message that we are whole and good enough just as we are. There is of course an important level of truth to that idea. It appeals to the best parts of who we are as uniquely crafted, individually beautiful humans; there are certainly times when it feels true. But we must be careful not deceive ourselves, either.

This is the first post in the new blog series, Characteristics of God, unpacking the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

On the level of our souls, there is a constant need in our brokenness that only Jesus’ work on the cross can fill to wholeness again. Who we are IS good enough, but only in Jesus. Inherited and committed sin leaves us in a state of brokenness which we simply cannot restore without Jesus. We were made for relationship with Him, to walk alongside Him in the Garden (Genesis 3:8-9).     

God never intended us to be broken people in the first place. 

The world has tried to make us forget about the consequences of sin. It distracts us in some surprisingly predictable ways. Worldly glory is not sustainable and does not satisfy. Only what we were made for, right relationship with God, can truly satisfy us. Who we truly are and who we were made to be by God is not understood by the world, which tells us only partial truths about ourselves. Pride and fear become traps that some cannot escape. But the whole truth is available in Christ, who sets us free:  


the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV). 

The Garden of Eden was the ideal place that God carefully created for us to dwell in with Him. He made it perfect and holy. We do not have many details about the Garden in the Bible, but we do know that trees grew there and bore fruit (Genesis 2:9) and two very important ones were placed in the center; there was a river flowing from it (2:10), animals were allowed into it, and it was set up with an East-facing entrance (3:24). I like to imagine that perhaps God particularly enjoyed watching the sunrise.    

When sin entered in, we couldn’t dwell with God’s presence and still live. We were banished from this most holy place. We couldn’t walk next to God anymore, as we had been intended for. We couldn’t talk with Him while watching how His facial expressions or His posture communicated to us as we now do with friends. 

There was a time when God literally walked beside us.

After we were forced to leave the Garden, God’s actual presence (as opposed to a burning bush, a pillar of fire, etc.) was much more scarce, and His face was hidden from us.

But thankfully, we weren’t the only ones unhappy about it. Sin and all, God didn’t intend for us to stay away from Him. For one example, in Exodus, Moses and the Israelite leaders are allowed to eat in God’s presence on Mount Sinai, to celebrate the covenant made between them and God, “Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky. But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank” (Exodus 24:10-11).   

God longs to enjoy us and give us a way to enjoy Him, despite the consequences of our sin! 

Since we left the Garden, God has been working on the steps of restoration to bring us back to wholeness, culminating in the Person of Jesus. This celebration of the covenant, the Israelites eating and drinking in the presence of God, was a huge step in that journey of restoring humanity to wholeness. 

Just a few chapters later in Exodus, God gives Moses the details for constructing the tabernacle. The tabernacle, though a movable tent, was precisely described, and it even was made to face the same direction as Eden. Like Eden, it was intended to be a place where God’s presence would be with His people. The tabernacle, designed by God Himself but made with human hands, was symbolic of the completeness and wholeness of the Garden (Ex. 26:6). 

We lack nothing in Him; in Him, we are whole.

Because God’s goodness was enough to make up for our lack, His infinite goodness can even reach beyond all our brokenness and beyond every tear.

Even though we inherited sin through our human family as descendants of of Adam and Eve, through Jesus we are grafted into His family. In the lineage of Jesus, He allows us the Way to take part in His inheritance of life instead. 

Opposite to the world’s system of give and take, in God’s Kingdom it is not about what we can do to get favor from Him, it is what He did for us in adopting us into His eternal family.  

Eternal life is inherited, not earned. 

We are no longer orphans in our brokenness, but instead we are restored to wholeness in our relationship with our loving, good, and gracious Father. There is nothing we could ever do that could earn life. We are fully dependent on God for our life and inheritance in eternal life. 

He is generous to give us more than we could ever deserve, restoring us to wholeness. 

It’s not about what we deserve but about who God is. 

None of us who are in Christ get what we deserve, and that’s a good thing! He is generous to us even though we don’t deserve it because He loves us.

Take heart, friends; there is a special place for those who are desperate for the wholeness found in Him–a place that He put ahead of His own life! He died to make us whole and complete, not lacking anything. Jesus restores us and renews us not just once, but continually, every day, every hour, every moment. He prays to the Father for us, even now (Romans 8:34). 

The symbols of wholeness in the Bible of the Garden and the tabernacle remind me of how Jesus desires us to be unified as one (John 17:11 & 21-32), as He prays to the Father, 

that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21).   

As close as Jesus is with the Father, that’s how close God wants to be with us. He wants this for us and our good so much that He was willing to die for it; for you, and for me. 

God went to every last measure to restore us to Him. There was, is, and will be nothing that could separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). May we take great hope in this amazing picture of God’s restoration of our wholeness.

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:3-5).