If you’re anything like me, it’s easy for us to leap to conclusions. Something, could be anything, irritates, frustrates, or seems to cross a line, and before we know it, we’re either withdrawing or arguing about how wronged we feel. A calm, back-and-forth conversation with a lot of listening and wisdom feels impossible; we’re totally triggered. After about twenty minutes our brains start to calm down enough to better perceive the reality of the “threat.” Sound familiar? What is a threat to you?
For me, tone is a big one. If someone says something to me in a tone that I perceive is irritated with me, I tend to take it extremely personally. I get offended. I shut down. While I want to be like Christ and follow His example of patience and grace for both myself and the other person, in these moments I feel about the furthest from Christlikeness that I can get. I often leap to a conclusion that involves fear.
I’ve described this reaction as a “quick to jump to control,” and thankfully for us, the Bible is full of examples of people who also made this leap out of a place of fear, yet received God’s grace and love nonetheless.
A well-known example is Peter, and the account of him walking on water. In Matthew 14, Jesus walks on water toward the disciples’ boat, and the disciples “cried out in fear” (verse 16), thinking He was a ghost. “But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.’ And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.‘ He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’” (Matthew 14:27-31). Peter let fear dampen his faith in Jesus’ trustworthiness.
Where are our hearts? God cares about our hearts, and like Peter’s story shows us, He cares about how much faith our hearts have in Him. The first and greatest commandment according to Jesus is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5, see also Mark 12:29-30). Do we have connection with our hearts and do they come from a place of love for people and for God? To love takes selflessness. God is faithful to work in us and to help us love Him so that we may obey this command.
I’ve been convicted and challenged by the verse, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18). I’ve also been greatly comforted by it. God is in the business of perfecting His people in love. Even Peter, who walked with Jesus experienced fear. Jesus was faithful to teach Peter with patience how to trust and not doubt, how to love and not choose fear.
In my frustrations with falling into fear and struggling to love like Jesus, I’m reminded that Jesus paid the price on the cross already for this lack in me. My weakness is not a problem for Jesus. My fear holds nothing that He’s not already overcome. In Acts 7, Stephen, a man “of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom” (Acts 6:3) as appointed by the twelve apostles, rebuked those who misunderstood Jesus’ teaching as a threat, and told them point blank, “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you” (Acts 7:51).
I want to be like Stephen, praying for wisdom and the filling of the Spirit, but I know there are many times I am sorely lacking. More often I’m like the people Stephen speaks to, the ones who are triggered, outraged, stuck in rigid control, and oblivious to the work of the Holy Spirit. In these moments again, while we are still sinners (Romans 5:8), Jesus invites us to surrender to Him, for we don’t have power to change our own hearts. All we can do is be willing (see post Nothing But Willingness) and open to let God work on our hearts and trust that He has and is and will perfect us in love.
It is out of His great love for us that Jesus has already paid the debt to allow us to let go of fear and walk in His love, trusting God and caring for people. We are covered by the blood of Jesus. Our lives are entirely in His hands, and we are safe there. We are alive in Jesus Christ forever and ever.
May we let go of fear and love God with all we are. Amen.
“and said, “O Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you, in heaven above or on earth beneath, keeping covenant and showing steadfast love to your servants who walk before you with all their heart;” (1 Kings 8:23).
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