Grace for Sleep

How much does sleep impact your day-to-day life? Do you have to be intentional to get healthy sleep? For the majority of people living in Western culture, sleep is often talked about like a luxury, a commodity, or something to be envied. Sleep is a gift God gives (Psalm 127:2). It’s also been a huge struggle for me, as I wrote in Falling Awake. But today, I want to write a bit more about physical, literal sleep.

Have you ever experienced your eyes becoming heavy? All of a sudden, you can lose track of the conversation or tv show or song or task at hand, and just feel powerless to keep from falling asleep. As someone who has experienced insomnia for much of my life, this level of being tired is usually a welcomed state of being. However, there are times when being asleep is more than a little embarrassing, like with Peter, James, and John in the Garden of Gethsemane.

In both the Gospel of Matthew and Mark, we find the story of Jesus’ disciplines falling asleep in Gethsemane, after Jesus had told them to watch while He prayed: “And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, ‘So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.’ Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, ‘My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.’ And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, ‘Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners‘” (Matthew 26:40-45). Jesus, even on the night He was being chased down for arrest, showed compassionate, loving grace toward the weakness of the flesh in his best friends.

He knew their spirits were willing to keep watch and pray, and their hearts were in the right place. However, their physical bodies could not keep up with their hearts and they, seemingly beyond their control, in weakness, “took their rest.” Paul wrote, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). When we are weak and we surrender our weakness to Christ Jesus, in His great mystery He somehow becomes our strength.

In our weakness, we can surrender to be led by God, as a sheep to our Good Shepherd. The prophet Ezekiel used this analogy, “I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice” (Ezekiel 34:16). Everything provided for the sheep is from their Shepherd.

It follows that rest and sleep are the gifts of God for us. Rest is built into the very Creation, darkness of night being a daily time for rest, and the slower seasons of plant productivity being a longer time for rest taken by the earth. In a culture of overwork and little sleep, it’s important to remember that the grace of God can be demonstrated to us by rest and sleep. If we aren’t paying attention, we may miss this facet of His grace for us.

I am not saying that trying to stay awake is always disobedience; it also can imply a great God-fearing desire or effort on the part of a person. King David said, “I will not enter my house or get into my bed, I will not give sleep to my eyes or slumber to my eyelids, until I find a place for the Lord, a dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob” (Psalm 132:3-5). When our work is for the Lord and we’re within His will and purpose for us, He will give us the strength we need to stay awake to accomplish it if necessary. But those periods require discernment. Those periods are often only for a season. Rest is a need, and a gift God wants to give us as our trustworthy Shepherd; resting in Him, we experience His peace.

God the Father doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t need to! It is because of His work that we can rest: “He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.” (Psalm 121:3-5). That God is our keeper is such Good News! God shows us grace in every way, and one of them is to give us the assurance and rest of His strong Presence in our weakness.

I had a minor Peter, James, and John moment just this week. I fell asleep when I really needed to stay awake, and a domino effect of consequences followed. At first, I was upset with myself, but I soon realized God knew my heart, just like He knew that of His disciples’ that night in the Garden. He had already forgiven my weakness. I just needed to thank God for His understanding and let go to take the next step with Him.

While God made us all fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:14), Jesus knew our weakness firsthand. Not only was He fully human, He saw how his best (human) friends couldn’t stay awake with Him. He knew then and knows now, we are jars of clay (2 Corinthians 4:17), not steel. “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). Even in Jesus’ most difficult moment of anguish in His life to that moment in the Garden of Gethsemane, He showed incredible grace for the fragility of our human flesh, and continues to show us His amazing grace for our weaknesses. Can I get an amen?

If you ever feel reluctant to give yourself grace like me, remember in Jesus’ grace, you are already forgiven. He knows you are human, and He knows your heart. Leave unforgiveness at the cross, and find rest in His presence and peace today.

The Lord bless you and keep you;  the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace” (Numbers 6:24-26).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Loosening the Constraints of Time

Last weekend I visited a place near the water and stayed for a couple of days. This beloved place of retreat has a wonderful sense of peace, covering, and wonder that I’ve returned to over the years. While there, I often get a sense that I could be in many different time periods other than my own, with its creaky wooden staircase and its decorative historical references. All these elements combine so that being there often comes with an intangible sense that anything is possible.

However, the huge, imposing grandfather clock has rung its familiar chime every hour on the hour year after year. I never have really loved being so acutely aware of the time. It often falls into one of two extremes; either feeling like the time is slipping away too quickly, or it’s dragging on so slowly that the chime, which makes some form of a sound every 15 minutes, starts to loom irritatingly large. Even with the place’s magical quality, the clock’s chiming made time feel like something I couldn’t have the illusion of escaping from, even on a restful vacation.

That is, until this trip. The grandfather clock rang its familiar tune, but this time, something was off. First, the hour chime missed the hour by quite a lot. Then the chime indicating which hour it was was comically off by several hours. Suddenly, it became a magical land in a new way. The fantasy of not being constrained by time was much easier to inhabit when I knew the chimes could be laughed at, even ignored altogether. I could look at the actual time whenever I chose to, instead of having the time imposed upon my conscious mind. Time became irrelevant, and it felt like freedom.

God Himself is not confined by time. He operates in eternity, which can be difficult for us humans, trained on the limitations of time, to understand. “For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night” (Psalm 90:4). Similarly, Peter reminds us that time is not so relevant in light of the eternal timeline of God, “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:8-9). We have no control over time, how much we have, how fast or slow it comes and goes; we are completely dependent on God for the time that we have. Time can become so complicated the more we think about it, but there at the retreat this past weekend, I was reminded that all we are able to do is trust God with the time that He’s given us. “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” (Psalm 62:8). With that broken grandfather clock chime, God provided me with a glimmer of the feeling of living in His realm. There He loosened the constraints of time that I am bound by here on this earth, and gave me a taste of eternity.

Even with how much is made of time, and how much time has been overemphasized in some ways, time is in fact a good thing. God made it, and the original clock was the moon and the sun, “He made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows its time for setting” (Psalm 104:19). It is good for us to have rhythms to our lives, to follow the rhythm set for the earth from the very Beginning.

But, it is also good for us to catch these glimpses of eternity, which is just as real as time. Jesus Himself tells us to focus on the things of heaven, set in eternity, where time no longer has an effect on us, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21). Our real treasures are the ones that are in the eternal realm; they’re the ones that last. The ones built on the fruits of the Spirit. Our time here in time is short, but it is enough for us because of Jesus. It is not something to dread or avoid, but to bring before Jesus and ask Him for wisdom.

May we ever look for God’s Truth and wonder, and find His order and respite in the midst of chaos.


Remember how short my time is! For what vanity you have created all the children of man!” (Psalm 89:47).

For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:9-12).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Fear and Love

alt=""

If you’re anything like me, it’s easy for us to leap to conclusions. Something, could be anything, irritates, frustrates, or seems to cross a line, and before we know it, we’re either withdrawing or arguing about how wronged we feel. A calm, back-and-forth conversation with a lot of listening and wisdom feels impossible; we’re totally triggered. After about twenty minutes our brains start to calm down enough to better perceive the reality of the “threat.” Sound familiar? What is a threat to you?

For me, tone is a big one. If someone says something to me in a tone that I perceive is irritated with me, I tend to take it extremely personally. I get offended. I shut down. While I want to be like Christ and follow His example of patience and grace for both myself and the other person, in these moments I feel about the furthest from Christlikeness that I can get. I often leap to a conclusion that involves fear.

I’ve described this reaction as a “quick to jump to control,” and thankfully for us, the Bible is full of examples of people who also made this leap out of a place of fear, yet received God’s grace and love nonetheless.

A well-known example is Peter, and the account of him walking on water. In Matthew 14, Jesus walks on water toward the disciples’ boat, and the disciples “cried out in fear” (verse 16), thinking He was a ghost. “But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.’ And Peter answered him, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.‘ He said, ‘Come.’ So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, ‘Lord, save me.’ Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’” (Matthew 14:27-31). Peter let fear dampen his faith in Jesus’ trustworthiness.

Where are our hearts? God cares about our hearts, and like Peter’s story shows us, He cares about how much faith our hearts have in Him. The first and greatest commandment according to Jesus is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5, see also Mark 12:29-30). Do we have connection with our hearts and do they come from a place of love for people and for God? To love takes selflessness. God is faithful to work in us and to help us love Him so that we may obey this command.

I’ve been convicted and challenged by the verse, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18). I’ve also been greatly comforted by it. God is in the business of perfecting His people in love. Even Peter, who walked with Jesus experienced fear. Jesus was faithful to teach Peter with patience how to trust and not doubt, how to love and not choose fear.

In my frustrations with falling into fear and struggling to love like Jesus, I’m reminded that Jesus paid the price on the cross already for this lack in me. My weakness is not a problem for Jesus. My fear holds nothing that He’s not already overcome. In Acts 7, Stephen, a man “of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom” (Acts 6:3) as appointed by the twelve apostles, rebuked those who misunderstood Jesus’ teaching as a threat, and told them point blank, “You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers did, so do you” (Acts 7:51).

I want to be like Stephen, praying for wisdom and the filling of the Spirit, but I know there are many times I am sorely lacking. More often I’m like the people Stephen speaks to, the ones who are triggered, outraged, stuck in rigid control, and oblivious to the work of the Holy Spirit. In these moments again, while we are still sinners (Romans 5:8), Jesus invites us to surrender to Him, for we don’t have power to change our own hearts. All we can do is be willing (see post Nothing But Willingness) and open to let God work on our hearts and trust that He has and is and will perfect us in love.

It is out of His great love for us that Jesus has already paid the debt to allow us to let go of fear and walk in His love, trusting God and caring for people. We are covered by the blood of Jesus. Our lives are entirely in His hands, and we are safe there. We are alive in Jesus Christ forever and ever.

May we let go of fear and love God with all we are. Amen.

and said, “O Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you, in heaven above or on earth beneath, keeping covenant and showing steadfast love to your servants who walk before you with all their heart;” (1 Kings 8:23).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

The Serpent’s Question

I always thought it was a little harsh for Jesus to call Peter “Satan,” after he didn’t want to accept the news that Jesus would be killed. I mean, can I blame Peter for at least trying to lighten the mood after Jesus made such a dark pronouncement? Maybe Peter’s motives weren’t really “evil” and he just wanted to bring a little hope to Jesus, right? 

This week, my perspective has been completely changed, and I wanted to share it with you. What finally became clear to me about this oft-quoted scene was that Jesus was seeing past both Peter’s actual words and perhaps motives too. Instead, Jesus was discerning the true meaning and belief Peter had, a basic assumption that allowed him to even utter these words.

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’

Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’” (Matthew 16:21-23). 

Jesus saw that Peter, perhaps unknowingly, was actually questioning what God said in the Old Testament. Though it clearly foretells through the psalms and prophets that the Messiah must suffer (eg: Isaiah 53), Peter revealed that he could not believe these prophecies. 

Peter’s question had the same meaning as the serpent’s question to Eve in Genesis 3:1, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 

Did God actually… was the seed of doubt planted in Eve’s mind, a question of her belief. After a bit more of the serpent’s reasoning in verses 4-5, Eve’s belief in God’s trustworthiness was swayed, all because of the serpent’s question. 

Asking herself a serpent’s question,“Is that REALLY what God said?,” had disastrous consequences. 

Sure, for Peter, it might have been comforting in the moment to question whether his friend and teacher Jesus’ death was inevitable, but it wouldn’t have been in line with what God said in His Word. If Jesus believed a lie about God, even just one, it would have been disastrous. 

Okay, you may be thinking, I get it. But what exactly moved Jesus so much as to call Peter “Satan?” Peter’s words “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” in Matthew 16 are not the same words the serpent used with Eve.

However, if we look at the belief behind Peter’s words, it is in direct opposition with God’s Word. Peter’s meaning essentially comes down to, “I do not believe God!” Jesus saw Peter’s words to be a clear rejection of God’s truth. He saw it as a complete lack of faith in the Word of God. To deny the foretold suffering was to deny that God was actually telling the truth–there it is plainly, Satan’s trademark. In light of this, Jesus was perhaps not so much harshly overacting toward Peter as simply calling it what it was.   

Listening for the meaning behind any question will help us see as sharply as Jesus did. 

Friends, I invite you to join with me in asking the Holy Spirit for discernment to know the belief behind the words we take in and tell ourselves.

Luckily, the serpent’s questions are unoriginal. Their underlying meaning and belief are always the same. But they are crafty. They can sneak into our thoughts just as easily as they did with Peter’s if we don’t watch for them. The essence of Peter’s rebuke and all serpent’s questions are, “God couldn’t possibly have meant that!” Other variations include, Is God really like that? Is that actually what God said? 

Learn to recognize the serpent’s question.

Coming to terms with our own serpent’s questions is no small feat. When we recognize we are trying to do something on our own strength, realize we haven’t prayed about something we’ve been worrying about for weeks, or simply don’t understand why our putting in more time and effort for something we want is getting us nowhere, we have a moment of opportunity. It is there we can stop and see the truth of our position, which is humility. One of my new favorite verses speaks perfectly to this, “For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all” (Romans 11:32). When we go our own way in disobedience, even there we find God’s grace.

How to break this cycle? Living in honest dependence on God involves recognizing that we are desperate without Him. Complete dependence is terrifyingly vulnerable. Yet, that’s how intensely and intimately God invites us to trust in Him. “...unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). As His children, God invites us to depend on Him for every need and every desire; He is and never stopped being our Good Father.  

Being aware of our desperation for God can lead us to two extremes: total surrender or complete resentment. 

In surrender, we are humbled, in awe, broken and owning up to that brokenness. We are aware in that place of surrender that we have nothing to give without God. On the opposite end, recognizing how dependent we really are on God can also feel frustrating, even demoralizing. If we’re honest, we can resent that we will never truly be able to fulfill that natural human desire for power and control. Knowing the truth that God is the one in control can be a struggle to come to terms with. But take heart, God takes this into account too, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14).

Maybe you’re like me, and struggling with overcoming pride might be a huge part of your spiritual journey too. That’s okay. When and as we are ready, God is faithful to show us the beauty of that other side, the side of our willing surrender to His capable hands. He is constantly showing us His goodness, and how good it is that He is in control, and not us. We need only to look for it and be open to seeing it. There is always more to learn, more to understand, more to discover about God. That is what makes our Life with the King so exciting! 

We cannot glorify God if we are too busy glorifying ourselves. 

I’m telling myself this too! So, how do we deny self daily (Luke 9:23)? How do we fulfill the greatest commands, to love God and love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39)? It is a constant decision to pick up our crosses and obey Jesus willingly. How do we keep this up? To love God is a daily choice. God is the one who then takes that choice and makes us able to love. Love is the most fulfilling part of life. The Way of love brings fulfillment! We must depend on Him and His love completely, fully, and humbly to walk in the Way of love. Maybe this too is why Jesus reacted so harshly to Peter; He knew that Peter wasn’t surrendered fully to God’s will.

That place of obedience and surrender to the Way of walking out His command is where our ego dies. Denying ourselves doesn’t just happen. It takes a willing humility to choose it every day. We will fail sometimes. That’s okay. But there is nothing better than being surrendered to the will of God. That is the place God intended for us from the beginning, when all was perfect in the Garden. There is no room to feel self important in that place of complete grace, mercy and childlike dependence. Jesus’ work on the cross made a Way for us to come back into God’s will. In that place, serpent’s questions are silenced. There is no ego in love.  

Allow your heart, your soul, your very self, to be moved by God’s love for you.

It is in that place of acceptance of being loved by God that we can begin to live freely and lightly, under the authority and protection, the abundance and goodness, the meaning and fulfillment, of Christ. 

We do not make ourselves able; we make ourselves available to Him. 

That is our step; to be open to God and all He has for us. In doing that, we let Him come close to rescue us, give us His Spirit, and fight temptation with us. God makes us able. Amen.

Resist the devil and he will flee…” (James 4:7)

Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’” (James 4:5). 

Thank you for spending some of your journey here. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.