Tag: Restoration

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Remembering Eden

As I mentioned in my last post, The Intimate Love of God, God loves each of us in a profound, meaningful, specific way. I recently heard someone say, “Religion is something to lean on;” and while I can understand that, rather, I see God as Someone to lean on. The relationship is more personal, maybe than we’ve ever considered before. I shared in my last post how God spoke to me through my appreciation for the beauty of a flower, but odds are that’s not the way God would speak meaningfully to your heart. Maybe you’re wondering what it might look like. Maybe you’ve yet to experience it, or maybe it’s been a while.

Thankfully, we can all rest in the truth that God meets us right where we are. When He speaks to us in ways that resonate at our core, His meaning often can just hit us right between the eyes. And in my experience, that’s often when I’m not really looking! When God speaks, His meaning can rush upon us all at once, without any need to analyze (but honestly, we probably do anyway). In speaking to us profoundly, God actually reflects back to us how we see, showing each of us in different and diverse ways that He not only knows us, but He understands how we understand, and can speak to us powerfully because of it.

Diverse Facets of Seeing*  

Maybe for you, you see and appreciate integrity and rightness above pretty much everything else. Virtue and wholeness speak to your soul in a special way. You’re always looking for it, often expecting it, and when you don’t see it in the world, you notice. You feel most at ease when things are in balance and when they meet an innate and intuitive standard of goodness. 

Or maybe instead, you deeply value love and appreciation. Giving care and being needed is an honor and a privilege that you don’t take lightly. You have a keen awareness of what is needed, and are happy to deliver whenever and for whoever you can. You love in ways that are deeply rooted in genuine care and concern for others. 

Perhaps this still doesn’t resonate for you, and instead you appreciate respect for significance, both of yourself and other people. Glory, not in an idolatrous way at all, but in a way that inspires awe, gives you a feeling like nothing else. When something is the best it can be, whether it is an experience, an object, a situation, a relationship, that feels like home to you.

Or maybe like me, you respond to beauty more than most everything else and appreciate how it speaks volumes about the truth. You’ll take the authentic truth above all because honesty and genuine connection requires it. Deep connection is something that fills you up. 

Or instead, perhaps endless, perfect knowledge speaks volumes to you. You enjoy having a wealth of knowledge to gain valuable insight into the interconnectedness of all things. You appreciate the wisdom to be had in knowing and understanding as much as possible, including life and vitality itself.

Maybe for you nothing speaks to your heart more than perfect security, total provision, and unwavering supportiveness and faithfulness. You recognize the deep importance of this and try to model your own life in this way, loyally supporting other people. 

Or maybe instead, joy and joyful perspective speaks volumes to you. You value experiencing new and exciting things, taking great delight in enjoyment of them. You also see being in a content and satisfied state as something very valuable; you appreciate it when you see it in the world or experience it yourself. 

Perhaps instead, deep trust and trustworthiness mean the most to you. You have an innate sense of knowing that strength, power, and justice are extremely valuable, and the role that trust plays in those qualities. You know the need for and want to have strong and steady protective power available for you and those you love. 

Finally, maybe instead you place the most value on true peace and stability, especially when it comes to your inner world and the people you know. You feel most at home when and where you can experience real and deep harmony, unity, kindness, and patience for all.

Whichever of these nine ways of seeing resonates the most with you, each one actually values a particular characteristic of God, all of which were available to us in the Garden of Eden. What we value and how we see speaks to God’s original design for us, which was ultimately to thrive in His presence in the Garden of Eden. 

In Eden, God intended for us to have the fullness of all of these things that we now “remember” in the unique ways we see: goodness, love, glory, beauty, insight, security, joy, protection, and peace. 

Each of these things are things we know deeply are true, right, important, meaningful, and valuable. We can become frustrated when they do not fully materialize in our lives. We are constantly aware of their presence or absence in a given situation, without even trying. It’s as if we “know” the way it is intended to be. We “remember” with our innate intuition what it “should be like” even as we live and go about our days in a fallen world. We just can’t shake it. Do you feel this way too? A piece of Eden, I like to call it a “felt sense” of Eden, stays with us even now. As we reflect God’s design, we also intuitively try to restore the Garden-like state that we see is needed in our lives. Even though we know we’re not in Eden anymore and it’s a fallen world, we still see even the tiny glimpses of that original design.  

The Good News is that God is working to restore all that was lost. God is the fullness of all of these conditions in Eden and more. Jesus embodies them all, perfectly. In His presence, we too have the fullness of all nine of these things, not even just the one we favor the most. We were made for His presence in Eden, made to live in a place with the perfect, whole goodness, love, glory, beauty, insight, security, joy, protection, and peace found only in God.  

We all have a “felt sense” of at least one aspect of Eden’s paradise. 

Eden: where all was good, where perfect love permeated in every relationship, where the glory of God was palpable and reflected from every living thing, where wild beauty sang and soared with meaningful true connection, where insightful understanding was had by all, where all were securely provided for in every way, where delightful joy was in and poured from every heart, where trust held strong, and where unity and peace reigned. That, my friends, is where we belong. That is what God intended for us.  

Isn’t that amazing news? And by appreciating these aspects, not only can we better understand how God communicates to us, but in this we can be reminded that we truly do reflect His image. All of humanity was made to appreciate the facets of God uniquely. Even though Eden is gone, God retains these special pathways to see and communicate with Him that He placed in us from the Beginning, and He uses them to speak to our hearts in ways that nothing and no one else can. Friends, even when things feel silent and dark, take heart, all is not lost. Restoration is happening, even now.

May the way you see proclaim the truth of Christ’s fulfillment of our need for Eden to your heart today. 

“But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.’–” (1 Corinthians 2:9). 

*Language for and aspects of the ways of seeing were incorporated from Your Enneagram Coach and work by Marilyn Vancil.  

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Freedom to Love

In my previous post, I wrote in depth about the pervasive force of fear, but ended on the idea that truth brings freedom, “… the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). My post 5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ goes into some of the practical details. Now I want to go into more depth about the idea of freedom, and why it’s so important. 

Freedom is all about Love.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Freedom in Christ points to freedom from the power of sin and death over us. But that’s not all; freedom was intended to give way to a culture of love.  

Somehow, the longer we are in the world, the more we seem to fall asleep to the fact that we are free. It becomes all too easy to only love those who love us back, and only love that which benefits us personally. As Jesus said, “what reward is there for that?” (Matthew 5:46 (NLT)). When we feel obligated to love, it is not love of our own free will. It is not love freely given, the kind of love God longs for us to have towards Him and toward others. Once we understand that in His great love Jesus has already set us free, everything can change.

Freedom is why I gave up everything to choose faith in Him—it’s the best thing I ever did. 

I used to constantly chase love, happiness, success, and contentment. The longer I was striving for my desires, the more I felt that somehow, I was under their power—and I was! In a way, we are enslaved to whatever it is that our heart desires. That’s why it is so important to guard your heart.

God understood this fully when He created us. As humans, we were designed to be subservient to something beyond ourselves. God made us this way with the intention to only be subservient to Him, who never exploits this delicate feature of who we are. This is my opinion friends, but I believe this is the reason the first commandment prohibits idolatry (Exodus 20:3). God knew how He designed us better than anyone or anything, and wanted to protect us from the harm that serving anything other than Him would do to us. 

From the Beginning, God wanted us to dwell in His presence and have intimate relationship with Him—and He designed us accordingly!

How beautiful is the vision of a life where we could withstand the holiness of God and experience the unimaginable glory of His full physical presence! This is what Jesus’ restoration of all things looks like—God, restored to His rightful, original place as our ruler and friend, the literal and only “owner” of us and everything in the universe. No more being “owned” by the world’s consumerism, alcoholism, pornography, money, drugs, alcohol, relationships, fame, influence, status, lies, most types of societal expectations, the list goes on, for the exploitation of our thoughts and feelings. Until He comes again, we are susceptible to these traps; “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for ‘people are slaves to whatever has mastered them’” (2 Peter 2:19). 

So many of us settle for being “free” to pick our own poison, fooling ourselves with this “good enough” freedom, convincing ourselves, “This isn’t so bad.” Friends, this is false freedom, and is not what we were made for. We can only deny our bondage for so long before our souls cry out. Being truly free comes when we yield our hearts, minds, and souls to God, the only One trustworthy enough to be our owner. The One whose judgment is impartial, who never exploits us by His power, and will never overstep our free will. He patiently gives us space to respond to Him in our own way in our own time. In Him, and Him alone, we are free—free indeed.  

Trust God to set you free from your idols today.

He is able. He is bigger than even that thing that scares you more than anything else in the world. Ask Him to end your bondage today and for help to stop luring others into bondage with you. God expresses His love to us by giving us freedom from sin and death, and free will to make our own decisions in life. He will help you if you ask Him with a sincere heart. It’s no wonder we struggle at times to feel His love, His gift of freedom is constantly being threatened by the world we live in! This is by no means new.

God first promises freedom to the Israelites via Moses in Exodus 6:6, “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.” God wants to free and redeem us just as much as He wanted to free and redeem the Israelites in bondage. He is faithful, and will show mercy. The question for them, and for us, then becomes, 

“Okay, so you’ve been liberated from your Egypt, but are you going to continue living in a mentality of bondage?” 

We can become so accustomed to being manipulated by a partner, family member, or friend, being loyal to a particular party or denomination, being unwilling to learn the Bible for ourselves, listening only to other people talk about what Jesus is like instead of talking to Him directly, that our minds struggle to break free of those old patterns. Our minds can come to expect bondage and subservience and reinforce it, even when we are actively trying not to.

But, there is good news, friends! Jesus’s truth makes it possible to transform any bondage mentality; Scripture commands it: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). We now know that even the physical fissures formed in our brains that reinforce routine patterns can be changed. Thankfully, God made our brains with neuroplasticity so those pathways can be transformed! For many, freedom comes slowly through hard work, not all at once. It takes time and intention to change our thinking to align with the truth of God’s love and freedom, but it is possible. Take heart and do not give up hope, friends! Through Christ we no longer have to feel stuck in our minds believing we’re free when our hearts and spirits know we’re not. He frees us fully and completely.

“What does Jesus have to do with freedom? Everything! because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).  

If you don’t know who Jesus is, I encourage you to seek Him. God promises that when you “seek the Lord your God … you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29). Luke 4:18 describes Jesus as proclaimer of good news to the poor, sight for the blind, and freedom for prisoners and those who are oppressed. Revelation 1:5 describes Jesus as the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler. But even as powerful and glorious as He is, He makes it clear in Scripture that He is a personal God who wants you and me to know Him on a deep and intimate level so we can experience the depth of His love and the gift of the true freedom that only He can give.

When we devote our lives to seeking and following Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit. He awakens us and empowers us to be our authentic selves, truly free of anything that might hold us back in our lives. In the freedom that Christ has generously given, we are free to be the people that we already are fully and as God designed us to be, without being subject to the rule of anything but God, as He intended.  

The vision of freedom looks like each one of us being all of our true selves.

Maybe you’re thinking, that sounds great and all, but it sounds too good to be true, or, I don’t feel victorious or free, even though I believe in Jesus already! Friends, as Jesus Himself said, “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Our faith is what counts as righteousness. God did not promise a life of feeling good, He promised His presence and faithful love for us. He is with us, even when we don’t feel it. “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

Jesus allows us to live a life even now of continual restoration and blessing! In Him, we are no longer subject to spiritual death (Hebrews 2:14). All we must do is have faith in Him, and the full gifts of righteousness Jesus bought by His blood shed on the cross become ours, not that we deserve it, but thanks to His grace and love.

God’s plan will come about.

His plan involves full freedom, from a physical body prone to decay, heartbreak, and anything contrary to love; a plan with nothing more to separate us from Him. God wants all barriers between us and Him to be broken, as He has desired from the very beginning, and is working even now to complete this work. Nothing we’ve done, or the enemy has done, can stop God’s plan from unfolding, or His promises from being fulfilled.   

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3-5a). 

God carries you, as a Father carries His child, into a future of His glory.

I love to imagine what the fullness of God’s glory will look like, but nothing we imagine could ever come close! His glory is total and complete love and acceptance, boundless freedom and creativity, incomprehensible grace, and profound truth. His glory is endless worship and praise of His real and true name, intimacy and closeness to His amazing presence, and wonderful loyalty and faithfulness. He wants nothing more than to tuck you into His arms and carry you in His love and provision until the day when you take your place in the room He has prepared for you. To be fully loved gives us the freedom to love in the same way, and create the culture of love that exists today between Father, Son, and Spirit. God’s will and all of time are pushing toward this reality, no matter how distant it may seem.

The freedom to be in the presence of God is the most wonderful freedom there is. It costs everything the world offers, but it is worth everything and more. “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life” (Romans 6:22). We must not forget that there is freedom here and now in God’s gifts, not just in eternal life. Here and now, Jesus allows us to experience a healthy and truth-honoring transformation of our minds, to choose to walk with the Holy Spirit moment by moment, to love with a selfless and free love, and to have hope of the glory to come in life eternal.

May we be people who choose the freedom to love without limits. 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). 

“Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves” (1 Peter 2:16). 

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory“ (Psalm 149:4). 

 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55).

Further reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.

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Characteristics of God: Merciful Master

How many times this year have you come to the end of a day when the darkness, pain, and suffering in the world has been starkly apparent to you, and just been glad that the day was ending? One of my favorite verses says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). How relieving to know that no matter what the day has been like, the mercies of God never end, and His mercy is refreshed and restored with the new day, every day. This verse has come to my mind many times, especially in this last year. It is a reminder that no matter what has happened, no matter how discouraged we may feel, we have good reason to end any day with gratefulness for God’s renewed mercy. 

This post continues the Characteristics of God series, where we will unpack the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

When I stop to think about it, the mercy God has shown to me is astounding. He has stayed present with me through everything, and has given me many, many chances to repent even when I resisted His presence. Even through all the horrors that have happened recently, God has shown mercy in countless lives, and has never left any one of us alone. Even when we reject Him and turn away from Him, He still gives us every chance to repent because the very essence of His character is merciful. “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him;” (Daniel 9:9).  

Scripture declares that God shows mercy, and gives many examples of His merciful character. 

God Himself gave a beautiful, clear, and direct declaration about His own character in Exodus 34:6: “…’the LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty…’” This declaration to Moses is referred to multiple times in the Bible thereafter, in Psalms, Joel, Jonah, and Nehemiah. 

I want to focus here on the word merciful, the very first adjective that God uses to describe Himself in this passage. When the people He called by His own name made a golden calf to worship instead of Him, He was merciful. When people spit in the face of Jesus, He was merciful. When I rebelled and went my own way, He was merciful. How wonderfully we are blessed that God’s heart is ever-willing through every age to show mercy towards us! “Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God” (Nehemiah 9:31). 

We are completely at God’s mercy, but we can be abundantly thankful that He is indeed a merciful God. 

Justice is also a part of God’s character. Based on sin alone, we deserve death, we deserve to be forsaken by our holy and righteous God. But, because God’s very character is also merciful, He has made a way for us all through Jesus Christ to be freed from the debt of sin, a debt far too great for us to ever be able to pay. We were caught in sin with no way out, and it is by His mercy God renews, restores, and sustains the life we can now share with Him because of Jesus, who took our place on the cross. 

He is the giver of life now and forever and wants more than anything, even more than His own life, to give that life to us. “Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit” (Psalm 51:12). The mercy of God is the source of our salvation and joy! I invite you to celebrate in that truth with me today, friends. Rejoicing is something that God invites us to do no matter the circumstances: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice” (Philippians 4:4). Rejoicing acknowledges (Proverbs 3:6) that God is merciful, and that His mercy runs deeper than all the brokenness in the world. 

God’s mercy gives us reason to rejoice no matter the circumstances.  

Where is your greatest need for God’s mercy today? Please be encouraged to talk to Him about it and let it all go into His capable hands. He wants you to rely on Him and trust Him with everything in your heart; there is nothing you can ever say that will keep Him from loving you (Romans 8:39).

The Role of Master

We often hear God described as our Father, comforter, and close friend, and while that is absolutely true, His characteristic of mercy implies that God also has powerful authority over us. He has ultimate control over our lives and should also be acknowledged as our Master. By paying our debt, He literally owns us. He could treat us in any way He wished, and be justified. Yet, He chooses to treat us with unending love, compassion, and, yes, mercy. He never takes advantage of us or manipulates us for His own end. 

The book of Psalms uses the analogy of the master’s relationship to his dependent servant for that of God with His people. Our dependence on God’s mercy is evident: “Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he has mercy upon us” (Psalm 123:2). 

We are fully dependent on God’s mercy to provide for us. 

Because mercy is a characteristic of God, we can rest and rely on Him to be true to who He is, showing us mercy until the very end. All He asks is repentance, to turn from our sin and have faith that He is who He has always said He is. “Return, O faithless children, declares the Lord; for I am your master; I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion” (Jeremiah 3:14). By His mercy, He provides a home for us with Him.

Jesus also used a master and servant analogy in parables to describe our relationship with God, as in this verse: “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master’” (Matthew 25:21). This verse is not describing a works-based salvation, but one requiring faith and implying the mercy of the Master. There is far greater joy awaiting us with our Master in eternity than all the sorrow and pain of this world. Now that is something we can take confidence in rejoicing about!

Growing in Mercy

In receiving God’s rich and deep mercy, we have been given a priceless gift. Jesus taught that we have the responsibility to then go and show mercy to others: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

We often hope for and perhaps even expect mercy from other people, but actually showing mercy toward others is often quite difficult when we are wronged or harmed. Showing mercy to others has no guarantee of instant gratification, or gratification at all. Jesus said, “Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours” (John 15:20). 

Showing mercy may result in some persecution. But, being generous with the mercy we ourselves have received from God provides opportunity to practice patience and forgiveness. When we show unselfish, compassionate mercy, we are actually bringing God’s Kingdom to earth here and now. I can think of no better way to provide evidence that God is real! Showing mercy is a beautiful way of demonstrating His love (John 13:35).  

People were certainly not always merciful toward Jesus, so we cannot expect people to always show mercy to us. While mercy from people is not guaranteed, we can take heart that God is always merciful; He Himself has declared and demonstrated it throughout Scripture, and in countless ways today. 

May we rejoice today in the unending mercy of God! 

“…Mercy triumphs over judgment” (James 2:13). 

“‘…Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?’ He said, ‘The one who showed him mercy.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You go, and do likewise’” (Luke 10:36-37). 

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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Characteristics of God: Restorer of Wholeness

We might hear the message that we are whole and good enough just as we are. There is of course an important level of truth to that idea. It appeals to the best parts of who we are as uniquely crafted, individually beautiful humans; there are certainly times when it feels true. But we must be careful not deceive ourselves, either.

This is the first post in the new blog series, Characteristics of God, unpacking the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

On the level of our souls, there is a constant need in our brokenness that only Jesus’ work on the cross can fill to wholeness again. Who we are IS good enough, but only in Jesus. Inherited and committed sin leaves us in a state of brokenness which we simply cannot restore without Jesus. We were made for relationship with Him, to walk alongside Him in the Garden (Genesis 3:8-9).     

God never intended us to be broken people in the first place. 

The world has tried to make us forget about the consequences of sin. It distracts us in some surprisingly predictable ways. Worldly glory is not sustainable and does not satisfy. Only what we were made for, right relationship with God, can truly satisfy us. Who we truly are and who we were made to be by God is not understood by the world, which tells us only partial truths about ourselves. Pride and fear become traps that some cannot escape. But the whole truth is available in Christ, who sets us free:  


“the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV). 

The Garden of Eden was the ideal place that God carefully created for us to dwell in with Him. He made it perfect and holy. We do not have many details about the Garden in the Bible, but we do know that trees grew there and bore fruit (Genesis 2:9) and two very important ones were placed in the center; there was a river flowing from it (2:10), animals were allowed into it, and it was set up with an East-facing entrance (3:24). I like to imagine that perhaps God particularly enjoyed watching the sunrise.    

When sin entered in, we couldn’t dwell with God’s presence and still live. We were banished from this most holy place. We couldn’t walk next to God anymore, as we had been intended for. We couldn’t talk with Him while watching how His facial expressions or His posture communicated to us as we now do with friends. 

There was a time when God literally walked beside us.

After we were forced to leave the Garden, God’s actual presence (as opposed to a burning bush, a pillar of fire, etc.) was much more scarce, and His face was hidden from us.

But thankfully, we weren’t the only ones unhappy about it. Sin and all, God didn’t intend for us to stay away from Him. For one example, in Exodus, Moses and the Israelite leaders are allowed to eat in God’s presence on Mount Sinai, to celebrate the covenant made between them and God, “Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky. But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank” (Exodus 24:10-11).   

God longs to enjoy us and give us a way to enjoy Him, despite the consequences of our sin! 

Since we left the Garden, God has been working on the steps of restoration to bring us back to wholeness, culminating in the Person of Jesus. This celebration of the covenant, the Israelites eating and drinking in the presence of God, was a huge step in that journey of restoring humanity to wholeness. 

Just a few chapters later in Exodus, God gives Moses the details for constructing the tabernacle. The tabernacle, though a movable tent, was precisely described, and it even was made to face the same direction as Eden. Like Eden, it was intended to be a place where God’s presence would be with His people. The tabernacle, designed by God Himself but made with human hands, was symbolic of the completeness and wholeness of the Garden (Ex. 26:6). 

We lack nothing in Him; in Him, we are whole.

Because God’s goodness was enough to make up for our lack, His infinite goodness can even reach beyond all our brokenness and beyond every tear.

Even though we inherited sin through our human family as descendants of of Adam and Eve, through Jesus we are grafted into His family. In the lineage of Jesus, He allows us the Way to take part in His inheritance of life instead. 

Opposite to the world’s system of give and take, in God’s Kingdom it is not about what we can do to get favor from Him, it is what He did for us in adopting us into His eternal family.  

Eternal life is inherited, not earned. 

We are no longer orphans in our brokenness, but instead we are restored to wholeness in our relationship with our loving, good, and gracious Father. There is nothing we could ever do that could earn life. We are fully dependent on God for our life and inheritance in eternal life. 

He is generous to give us more than we could ever deserve, restoring us to wholeness. 

It’s not about what we deserve but about who God is. 

None of us who are in Christ get what we deserve, and that’s a good thing! He is generous to us even though we don’t deserve it because He loves us.

Take heart, friends; there is a special place for those who are desperate for the wholeness found in Him–a place that He put ahead of His own life! He died to make us whole and complete, not lacking anything. Jesus restores us and renews us not just once, but continually, every day, every hour, every moment. He prays to the Father for us, even now (Romans 8:34). 

The symbols of wholeness in the Bible of the Garden and the tabernacle remind me of how Jesus desires us to be unified as one (John 17:11 & 21-32), as He prays to the Father, 

“that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21).   

As close as Jesus is with the Father, that’s how close God wants to be with us. He wants this for us and our good so much that He was willing to die for it; for you, and for me. 

God went to every last measure to restore us to Him. There was, is, and will be nothing that could separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). May we take great hope in this amazing picture of God’s restoration of our wholeness.

“because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:3-5). 

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The Fear of Death

Death is the last topic I thought I’d be writing about to kick off my blog’s second year. Yet, here we are; the highest highs always seem to bring to my mind the lowest lows right along with them. And perhaps that’s just as it should be. 

I’ve been taking morning walks lately, and one morning this week I walked to a park I haven’t been to for years, just outside of a well-manicured neighborhood. The park is all woodland, with a creek running through it. Once inside under the completely shaded canopy, I saw that the park itself seemed a completely different world from the sunny neighborhood just beyond. Instead of neatly trimmed grass, there was a mess of moss and fungi blanketing rotting logs. Instead of bushes full of blooms, there were downed trees with their roots exposed, brutally ripped up from the earth beneath. Instead of small blue jays or cardinals hopping about, there were two large, hulking black vultures, still and silent, perched in a pile of fallen leaves above the creek. 

These starkly different scenes just yards from each other perfectly illustrate how death and reminders of it are consciously kept out of sight and ignored as much as possible. 

Death is uncomfortable to think about.

Given how prevalent and obvious death is in this world, I’m interested in why this remains so. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know that we all have an innate sense of the fragility of our lives and our loved ones’ lives. 

Even so, we have to keep surviving, right? No time to think about death when we’re trying to survive. However, there comes a point at which facing death becomes absolutely key to fully embracing our humanity.    

According to the Bible, humans gave up the option to ignore the knowledge of good and evil long ago (Genesis 3:6); we simply don’t have the luxury anymore of being unconscious of it. In a podcast interview, psychologist Jordan Peterson posed the idea that perhaps the remedy now is to be fully or “all the way” conscious of good and evil, since we can’t go back to being “unconscious.” I like this idea, but whether it’s correct or not I think it holds true with the Good News of Christ.

Along with the knowledge of good and evil comes a responsibility to face the good and evil in us.

To face the evil in us could also be described as becoming conscious of our own sin. This is exactly what we must understand before we can sincerely repent; C.S. Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity. We realize the extent of our sin (evil) and the extent to which we need God’s grace (good) to free us from death’s grip. 

For repentance to come, we need to do something God didn’t design us to do–to stare death in the face. It is when we really see that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23)–and that death forces us into something we were not created for–that we can understand all that we’ve been saved from by Jesus and how truly amazing His grace really is. 

Turning from our willful ignorance of death to follow Jesus, the Master of death, means we will stop avoiding it and trust that He’s bigger than death itself, as well as every one of our fears.

If we knew the Master of death better, we wouldn’t be so afraid of our own death. 

Jesus came to master death and set us free. To use the woodland analogy, Jesus came to lay His life down, like a fallen tree in the forest, that we might live like a newly sprouted seed from the soil He provided by His act of love. 

Yet, death is still worthy of being sad about, something to deeply mourn and to grieve. Separation from loved ones, though temporary for believers in Jesus, is still deeply painful and still very much a loss. I want to be very clear that it is okay to grieve, mourn, and be sad when it comes to death, no matter who it is, whether or not they were believers. Grief is not something to be brushed aside or ignored.  

When my Jewish grandfather passed away years ago, I was able to experience a community that faced death together in a beautiful way. The love and support of my grandmother’s friends and family was hugely beneficial, even for me in my own grieving process, as they came to simply be present and literally “sit” with her. Shiva following a Jewish burial typically lasts for seven days, providing not only community support but food for the grieving first-degree relatives. 

There is great value in appreciating the seriousness and weight of death and taking time to acknowledge what our hearts are feeling. 

While our culture has lost the skill of being open about death and understanding of grief, we don’t have to when we stay close to Jesus and understand the truth He brings–that death is not the end. Jesus Himself spoke openly about death. He was not afraid to do so, predicting his own death several times. People who had experienced death also came to him in a state of grief. He didn’t turn them away but even grieved with them (John 11:35). He even chose to raise the sick girl (Matthew 9:25), and His friend Lazarus (John 11:44) back to life. 

While I don’t think it is healthy for death to be excessively avoided as a topic of conversation, I also want to make a point to say that an excessive focus on death is not the answer to any problems either. It is only by understanding how God intended life that we can understand death and see it for what it is, no more, and no less. Romanticization of death glorifies the wrong god. 

Life is a gift from God. 

Examining our feelings about death along with the truth of the Bible can give us a deeper appreciation of life and its meaning. Reading Genesis, we find that death as we know it was never meant to be. We were not built for it! We were created to walk with God and eat from the Tree of Life. Death was not in the original plan. 

It is no wonder that it can be so devastating to us psychologically, physically, and spiritually! Knowing this, it is completely natural to avoid death, and it makes perfect sense that we would brush traces of death aside because innately we know what we were intended for.  

Facing death is so hard because God never intended for us to experience it in the first place. 

Death may never stop being hard to face, but it need not take us by surprise, as it so often does. With Jesus’ wisdom and grace, we can explore our knowledge of good and evil. 

We can let Him help us through to the other side of fear as we examine what He says about life and death. We can begin to safely open ourselves up to facing the realities of death when we trust Jesus and His love for us, for there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18). 

Christ and His love sets us free.

The bigger the debt of sin we have been forgiven from, the more we will love Jesus for canceling it. The story in Luke 7 gets me every time, when Jesus forgave the sinful woman with the alabaster jar of perfume. 

Her display of gratitude for forgiveness led Jesus to tell those in His company, “...Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little” (Luke 7:47). When we are conscious and aware of our sins, fully acknowledging our need like this woman, gratitude for our canceled debt leads us to a life full of love and peace. 

As I was headed back from that morning walk in the decaying woodland park, walking once again past neatly spaced out trees and colorful blossoms, these words came to my heart, “All that was lost will be restored to you.” 

That is what God does; He restores what is lost, damaged, sick, even dead, in and for us. 

The very first book of the Bible that was written was Job, which speaks to and confirms this simply, “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored . . .” (Job 22:23).

The last book of the Bible speaks of the restored life that God will bring to His people: “[His servants] will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads” (Revelation 22:4). How amazing that the story (which is not ours but God’s) that is unfolding will end in God calling us, servants created to glorify and enjoy Him, by His own name. 

Think of the intimacy of giving someone else your name, or of taking someone else’s. That is the intimacy God intends for us to have with Him. What vulnerability and trust to be called by His name! Death is not the end, but rather this beautiful picture of restored, everlasting life in the family of God.

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his” (Romans 6:5). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ

I recently found out that an acquaintance I met in my travels during my early 20s was killed three years ago. He was doing conflict resolution work in a violence-ridden country. I met him only a few times over the course of a day or two, but he made an impression. Reading his obituary confirmed these initial perceptions; humble, intelligent, and kind. Most of all, though, I noticed his confidence. He was not arrogant in the least, but he was extremely confident in who he was.  

He was the most Christlike I had seen a person my own age act, patiently listening, empathizing, and being present. His confidence was firm in Christ. Perhaps that’s why I remember him so vividly for a person I met just once ten years ago. He used his gifts in the most dire circumstances to work for good. What more could any of us ask for in our short lives? But doing God’s work with confidence doesn’t come so easily for me as it did for my brave friend. I aspire to live as he did naturally–unafraid.  

Some personalities can be more cautious than others. Perhaps your environment was or is unstable and you developed some level of fear because of it. Maybe the relationships in your life weren’t secure or loving and you developed distrust. Whatever the case may be, we can take confidence in knowing that Jesus has overcome it. We can have freedom from all of it in Him. But it takes intention on our part too; we still have neural pathways stuck in ruts, we still have walls built up to protect us.

So, how can we step into the freedom of Christ that He offers us with boldness and confidence? 

  1. It starts with FAITH. 

As followers of Jesus, our confidence comes from faith in Him. There is no stronger place in which to establish our identity than believing the cross was, is, and will be enough to set us free. When our faith is in Jesus, confidence can blossom and thrive because our identity is secure in Him. It isn’t dependent on any naturally-born characteristics we ourselves happen to possess. Instead, our identity is hidden in the character of Christ, in His integrity, humility, compassion, and love. When we depend on Him and His character instead of our own abilities, we can be truly confident. We can rely on His strength instead of our own. This all starts with faith.

If your faith is shaky today, pray. Cry out to God. As the father who implored Jesus to heal his sick son, ask for help in overcoming your unbelief (Mark 9:24). Faith comes from God. You will seek Him and find Him when you seek Him with your whole heart (Deuteronomy 4:29). Have faith that the cross was enough.   

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

  1. Don’t give up on new life. 

If you struggle with falling into old habits and patterns you are not alone; take heart! That doesn’t change the fact that you are a new creation. Give yourself grace in this. It takes time to shirk old habits. Remember to see them as just that, habits. Do not confuse them to be part of you or your identity, because it’s simply not true. All of your identity and freedom was bought by and is held today in Jesus. 

All humans have brains with strongly ingrained patterns of thought. However, God’s Word says that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Read and speak out loud the promises in Scripture that speak of new life, restoration, and healing. Replace negative patterns with these promises. Never give up on a life lived in the freedom Christ paid for; we have good reason to hope!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

  1. Let go of the fear of man.

It is so easy to look at other people’s impressions of how funny, nice, interesting, cool, or desirable we are to inform our sense of self. But when we do that, we are actually valuing people’s opinions of us more than God’s opinion. This means we are making the fear of man an idol. In this, we actually make ourselves slaves to the opinions of other people. 

We must hold our identity as children of God in higher regard than the perceptions of others. If you are struggling with this today, look to the example Jesus set. He modeled awe-inspiring confidence in His identity. He knew who He was, and that confidence was evident to everyone he encountered. Never arrogant, but maintaining integrity and obedience to God the Father, Jesus stepped into his God-given responsibility. Despite being laughed at (Mark 5:40), He did not compromise His identity and was not shaken by a fear of men’s opinions. He feared God. As Jesus demonstrated, we too can stand firm in who we are, stop treating what people think of us as an idol, and put God in the rightful place of worship in our hearts.  

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

  1. Take full personal responsibility for yourself, your past, and your actions. 

As mentioned, a striking aspect of Jesus’ character is that He took full responsibility for himself. In Genesis, the story of Judah demonstrates this so well. When he was young, Judah sold his brother Joseph into slavery, and lied about it. Joseph’s supposed death caused their father Jacob great sorrow and grief, thinking he was dead. And Judah did not own up to his actions. But even though all seemed lost, Judah’s heart was transformed and his integrity grew. The guilt over what he’d done to Joseph changed his actions, and he owned up to his failures and sins. 

“Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). 

Judah received a great blessing from Jacob before his death, and Judah’s family line became royalty, the line through which Jesus Himself later came! God rewards those who take responsibility for their actions. We too must confess where we went wrong. We too must do what is right no matter the cost, because we have a responsibility to act righteously.  

  1. Remember that we know the end of the story.

Spoiler alert: in the end, Jesus brings restoration and blessing! Through Him, and only by Him, we are victorious over sin and death. If there is any license to freedom, this truth is it! No matter how dire the situation may look, no matter how foreboding the future may seem, Jesus wins. The power of death was already broken through Jesus. It’s already happened! Through Him, even now, we are no longer subject to it (Hebrews 2:14). 

“Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:5). 

From the start of God’s covenant with humanity, God always wanted to bless all those who loved, respected, knew, and walked with Him. From the royal line of Judah that He blessed through Jacob, Jesus was born and established a new covenant for us, a blessing that we live under today. Today, our blessing comes through Jesus Christ. 

Through freedom in Christ, we can empathize with the ignored and oppressed. Through freedom in Christ, we can love our enemies. Through freedom in Christ, we can share hope with the hopeless. 

May we press in to the blessing of God and the freedom God offers us through Jesus, the King of all kings! 

“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). 

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

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Repentance

Turning back to God didn’t happen just once for the Israelites, and it certainly didn’t happen just once for me. In my own life, I’ve turned back to Him more times than I can count, sometimes multiple times in a day. However, one time in particular was the start of a big change in my life. Admitting we are wrong isn’t easy. Yet in a sense, it is exactly what repentance, and in fact Christianity, calls for.  

When I discovered this, I didn’t like it at all. It made so much more sense to me that I was fine just the way I was. That sin wasn’t a big deal to be ashamed of but something we learn to cope with. That I wouldn’t really be held responsible for sin, especially the inherited kind that I had no control over. Following this logic, it was easy to lose ground with faith, and I slipped further and further away from the truth of what God’s Word actually says about sin. After losing my faith entirely, living my own way, and believing these “comfortable” things for several years, repentance from sin as the Bible describes it finally became real to me.  

One of my favorite verses in Scripture now is Romans 2:4, “...God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” While I was fully convinced of the merits of not believing in sin or God, He reached into my life and showed kindness so undeniable that I couldn’t ignore it or explain it away. When I realized that it really was God’s kindness, not some happy accident or coincidence, it changed something in my heart.

On the path of losing my faith, my heart had gone through a number of phases toward God; I became skeptical, then callous, then arrogant, cold, and unloving. I had been awful to God if He truly was real. I had denied Him. Yet, even still, God showed me kindness. Despite how awful I was to Him, His kindness was the only thing that finally warmed my cold heart. Only a few months later I truly wanted to repent, to turn everything in my life around and trust God instead. It all started with His kindness. His kindness led me off the path of faithlessness and onto a new path of true repentance.

God’s kindness can reach beyond all intellectual and emotional barriers. 

The call to repent really intensified shortly before Jesus’ three years of ministry when John the Baptist began preaching, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 3:2). After John was put into prison, Jesus moved to Capernaum and “From that time on Jesus began to preach, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near’” (Matthew 4:17). These two major figures of the Bible both had the same core message! So, what is so important about repentance?  

Repentance comes up quite a bit in Scripture. It is associated with baptism and life. In trying to Biblically define repentance, I found that it is to allow oneself to be corrected (Jeremiah 5:3, Revelation 2:21), to realize and turn from wickedness (Jeremiah 8:6), to turn from idols and renounce all detestable practices (Ezekiel 14:6), to turn away from all our offenses (Ezekiel 18:30), to (re)turn to God (1 Samuel 7:2b-3, Hosea 14:1, Acts 3:19, Acts 26:20), and to produce [spiritual] fruit (Matthew 3:8, Luke 3:8); it involves faith in God (Matthew 21:32, Mark 1:15, Acts 20:21), it is a command to all people everywhere (Acts 17:30), it involves Godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:9-10), it involves and is done in relation to sin (John 1:28, 2 Corinthians 12:21), it involves recognition of the truth (2 Timothy 2:25), it is something God wants for everyone (2 Peter 3:9), it is a sort of waking up (Revelation 3:3), and it can result from God’s love, discipline, rebuke (Revelation 3:19), and kindness (Romans 2:4). 

God wants nothing more than for us all to repent. When we do, it unlocks our hearts to be open to receive His promises, His gifts of the Spirit, and His presence. He longs to be close to us. When I chose to keep Him away in my own life, I fell into the sin of idolatry, among others. God’s very first commandment to the Isrealites is to have no other gods before [Him] (Exodus 20:3). While I don’t recall having any golden statues in my house to worship, for me, idolatry came in the form of putting other things before God. The prophet Samuel spoke to the Isrealites about this;

“Then all the people of Israel turned back to the Lord. So Samuel said to all the Israelites, ‘If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines’” (1 Samuel 7:2b-3).

This Old Testament passage speaks not only of repentance but idolatry, of putting other gods in place of the one true living God. He wants nothing to come between Him and any one of us. He wants our hearts to be committed to Him. 

I had gotten lost in the prevalent explanations that society offers: we all make our own truth, there is no one absolute truth, all you need to do is be a good person, you don’t need to feel ashamed of anything about yourself, there are no eternal consequences for anything, and there is nothing after we die. 

These lies became idols in my life. 

I had adopted them and they became louder in my mind than God’s still, small voice. I was trying to live out this new philosophy of life where I had landed, but I was still miserable. I was even more miserable than I had been when I wasn’t sure of whether or not God was real. It was all too much and I just became numb. It was a dark, confusing, and exhausting time. If you know someone going through a time like this, please check out my post, “10 Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Faith.” Friends, it is so easy to latch onto lies the world tells us; they usually sound good and fair on the surface. However, we must test everything against the truth in the Word of God. It points us back to the truth about ourselves, and to Jesus, who is our hope. 

God keeps His promises. He promised salvation, and He keeps that promise through Jesus and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

Repentance leads to receiving God’s promise of deliverance from sin through Jesus Christ.  

God reached out to me even when my mind and heart were closed to Him, when the misery became too much to bear. It was wonderful, amazing grace. This miracle still astounds me. I finally knew without a doubt that God is real, but I couldn’t go back to all the same beliefs I had about God before. Some of those beliefs still needed to be changed, because they weren’t all true. Even though I had repented, I still had to rethink everything all over again. All I knew was that He is real; I had to just start there. I had lied to myself for so long it was hard to know the truth, but I craved it. The fact that I knew He was real meant I couldn’t trust atheist or agnostic sources anymore. He led me right back to the Bible for answers, a Book that I hadn’t trusted in a long time. But I trusted that God was real, so I gave it another chance.

It was a process to understand sin, and how it had cut me off from relationship with God, and that I had gone my own way because of it. I had repented, but then later after seeking truth I finally understood. “‘After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth’” (Jeremiah 31:19). We need both repentance and understanding to sustain us in our faith. I had to come to face the worst of it which was finally clear to me; I’d KNOWN God and STILL walked away from Him! Maybe some of you can relate to this story. Even still, all God asks is for us to trust Him enough to repent. Through repentance–turning from sin and relying on the salvation Jesus offers each one of us–He promises us restoration back to Himself.   

I pray that you can learn from my mistake: you don’t have to walk away from God like I did for your faith to be renewed and strengthened! By seeking Him and the truth about Him, you can know He is real now, you can know He loves you now, you can know His intentions for you were always good. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Yes, sin crept into humanity at the start and bad things happen. Being a good person isn’t enough to conquer sin and death; only Jesus can do that for us. With repentance comes restoration. “Therefore this is what the Lord says: ‘If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them’” (Jeremiah 15:19). There is always hope.

God longs to restore us to walk with Him as He originally intended in the Garden.

Yes, true repentance will cost everything in your life. To fully trust God and walk in repentance, we must let our own logic about what is right for us die and surrender our lives to His way, “Then [Jesus] said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The cost is great, but it’s well worth it. God’s way is better than anything we could dream up for ourselves. I’ve never met a single Christian who was sorry they made the choice to follow Jesus.

When repentance and understanding came, the nagging sense of meaninglessness and numbness in my life disappeared. I accepted the truth the Word offers about my own sin, that it is in fact a barrier to relationship with God. Jesus brought justice where I didn’t deserve justice. He loved me when I didn’t love Him. He made a way for me even after I closed the door of my heart to Him. 

No one is too far from His love to be found by Him. 

After I repented and accepted Jesus’ gift of life for me, I couldn’t just go on as I had been going. My life dramatically changed. I started attending church again. I made Christian friends and sought their counsel. I prayed as much as I could because prayer had been restored to me, right along with my life. I had a reason to live again, and to glorify Him in everything. I’m sure my family would tell you I cried less tears.

Change is evidence of true repentance. 

I am still learning and definitely still do things that are wrong. I still need to repent of those things. However, everything changed when I repented of the way I was living and believing. At that moment, change really began. My faith in God is now growing all the time where before it was dead. God restored my ruined life and handed it back to me miraculously whole again. 

Eternal life begins now when we repent, we don’t have to wait until after we die to begin living it! Jesus has truly restored all things, including a life where I can find joy despite the pain this life can bring. It all starts with repentance. May we all be quick to repent and turn to the Lord.

“‘This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…” (Isaiah 30:15a)

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The Joy of Dance

I remember having to sit through my younger sister’s dance recital rehearsal while trying to do math problems. At age 11, anything girly made me roll my eyes. However, out of the 50 or 60 dances, one ballet dance in particular caught my attention even among the racy jazz numbers and the snappy tappers. I found myself being drawn in by the teen ballet set to Tchaikovky’s Waltz of the Flowers. 

It carried me off into another world where everything seemed better.

The dancers looked genuinely happy. The number was synchronized, artistic, and when I finally saw the dress rehearsal, the white costumes with pink sashes and pink flowers made it all just too beautiful to deny. If this was what dancing could look like, I finally understood why people wanted to do it. “If only I could do that,” I thought. Could I? I wrestled for a few weeks, and then decided. I almost surprised myself when I told my mom I wanted to begin ballet lessons.  

I held tight to the dream of being able to dance like the girls in Waltz of the Flowers, to move with grace. The first year or two of classes revealed my deep love of dance; I danced every chance I could. But when I started competing, I lost sight of why I loved dance in the first place. At competitions, dance was instead about external validation. The hope dance had given me for a better more beautiful world took a backseat until there wasn’t much joy in dance for me anymore; after three years I resigned from the dance team. I couldn’t quite bear to stop dancing altogether though.

Nine years after I quit competing, I did stop altogether. At 25, I simply couldn’t dance. Not because I physically couldn’t. Any doctor would have said I was physically capable. But spiritually, I had nothing left. Without being aware or intentional about my relationship with God, I hadn’t been following Him. I had been consistently careless with my heart and mind, and that summer it caught up with me like a ton of bricks. That’ll slow anyone down real quick.

I had lost all sight of the Lord.

It happened so gradually that it was hard to notice. By the time I did notice, I had stopped even trying to pray. I wasn’t following God’s commands, which provide joy. “The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart” (Psalm 19:8). My joy had run out, and I felt it. All of a sudden, everything about my life seemed wrong. I had a vague awareness that I had lost something like innocence but at the time I was blind to the Truth of God. I sought the world’s rational, scholarly answers for why this was happening to me. But nothing satisfied. The truth was, my heart hadn’t received true joy, the joy that comes only from God’s grace and love, for quite some time. What I didn’t know then is that joy is a gift I couldn’t work to give myself. 

Joy is a gift from God. 

It took years for me to make sense of it. All I knew at the time was that I had completely lost strength, mentally and spiritually. I didn’t think that had anything to do with God. Even the thought of attending a dance class right across the street, as I had been, was exhausting. I don’t even remember having hope to dance again. Scripture says, “...Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). However, I was grieving and weak. I was in pain and didn’t know how to escape it. I didn’t know how to come back to God even if I wanted to (I didn’t, and I blamed Him for how I felt). “Joy is gone from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning” (Lamentations 5:15). My dancing had indeed turned to mourning; I was lucky just to get out of bed. Having joy was only a distant memory. 

I had no reason to dance anymore.

Thankfully, God is a merciful God. He never stops loving us and He is always waiting for us to repent. He welcomes us back to Him with open arms when we do. He delights in lavishing His gifts upon His children, and by His amazing grace, He restored my joy that was lost. It took years, but eventually I was ready to accept the Truth. In one of my darkest moments, I focused on Truth instead of my own pain, and let go of blaming God. I repented of my sin. Suddenly, I was filled with joy, and I praise God that joy has not left me since. 

About a year later, I slowly started dancing again, taking one class here and another there. I wanted to savor the process this time and to go at my own pace. I was not disappointed. I found that once again, as when I first began to dance, I could express freedom in the movement. I became sensitive again to the beauty and grace of dance that I had fallen in love with at age 11. Dance is an expression of the heart and a wonderful way to express joy. 

Two years ago, I took an opportunity to perform in a ballet. Though I doubt anyone knew it but God, I wanted to perform again as a testament to how far He’s taken me. From the depths of despair to the stage, He stayed with me through it all. 

To express the joy that He restored to me through dance was a gift.

Now I’m in a season of being stirred to dance the way David danced before the Lord, “Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord with all his might,” (2 Samuel 6:14). This year, I’ve had the opportunity to choreograph for a performance. By God’s grace I was inspired with joyful steps and free, expansive movement. I could not have set that kind of piece without the joy of the Lord. This was just a few weeks ago.

Joy is so powerful it often elicits a physical response. Other responses to joy found in the Bible include shouting (Leviticus 9:24), eating (1 Chronicles 29:22), and singing (Psalm 95:1). There are many outward expressions of joy to the Lord; my favorite, as you may have guessed by now, is dancing. 

If I ever doubt that God has restored me and delivered me from sin, I remember how, not so many years ago, I couldn’t even dance one step under the heaviness of darkness. There’s no denying its contrast with the joy that now flows from my spirit, particularly through dance. God worked the miracle of joy in my life. Dance symbolizes my journey of being brought from death to life. And so, I will dance on. 

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,” (Psalm 30:11).  

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Confidence in The Promises of God

I go through these times when my inner space is filled with noise to the point where being calm isn’t even an option. I’m still very much in the process of learning to actually use the anxiety-reducing “tools” that help–breathing, for instance. I’m not very good at that. Or staying still. Not so good at that either. Or limiting the amount of content I watch in a day or a week. That’s definitely a work in progress. I’m writing to myself today, as much as to you, my fantastic readers, because this week, I’m in one of those states where I just feel scattered. Maybe you’ve experienced this too. It might last a few hours or a few weeks, but these are the times when I need to remember the Truth of God’s promises the most. 

When I’m feeling this way, it’s easy to forget God entirely and focus on myself. This is what’s so dangerous about it. It’s easy to only hear the noise and feel that God isn’t there after all, and pretty soon my mind starts telling me that He’s not speaking to me, that He’s disappointed in me, or that He’s punishing me. My mind goes there, 0 to 60, despite all I’ve learned and all I’ve experienced and all the ways I’ve grown spiritually. I still need to pick up my cross daily, just as we all do. I’ve been reminded a lot of this lately, that it’s not a one-and-done deal to follow Jesus. I have to work at it every single day. On days like today, it’s especially difficult because the less my mind can focus, the more prone I can be to self-deprecating lies.  

One particular lie I’ve been wrestling with lately is, the more you do, the better you are. Thinking this is a guarantee of getting into a swirl like the one I’m in. When I’m busy doing things, I hurry. I hurry to try to make a deadline for work or hurry to make an appointment on time or (cringe) hurry through my devotion time. In the book by Alan Fadling, An Unhurried Life, he writes that when we hurry, we’re actually committing violence to ourselves. I think this is at least part of where my sense of being scattered comes from; that violence splinters something in me. It reduces me to being what I can do or produce in a day, instead of being myself. When I commit violence to myself, I’m doing exactly what my sinful nature wants: weakening not only my spirit but also my resolve to treat myself as a child of God, with respect. I start putting myself down, pushing myself to do even more, and losing myself in the process. Needless to say, this is an unhealthy cycle but getting out of it is easier said than done. 

Sure, breathing helps my body to calm down and deal with the adrenaline overload a bit better, it gets a little more oxygen into my overactive brain. Staying still, or stopping activity, can help to diffuse the stress of and in the moment. Limiting content can help keep my brain from being overstimulated. But, none of these tools actually address the real issue, only the symptoms. So, what REALLY helps? What is the real weapon against the lies that can splinter our souls? Along with prayer, the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17), is a powerful weapon. In the Word, God provides His promises. I take great comfort in them and the fact that they are True despite every swirl and every situation I may find myself in. Stopping to speak them aloud or meditate on them in my heart brings God into clearer focus. We must never forget to resist the devil, and he will flee… (James 4:7). Here I’d like to share three of my most treasured promises of God (there are hundreds!):

1. God promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). 

When I started believing the Bible is True, I discovered something amazing–there are SO many promises to hope and have confidence in! To discover them while also believing they were True without a doubt was, and is, an unexplainably great gift. When I’m flooded with negative thoughts, remembering His promise never to leave us nor forsake us is a huge comfort. When I feel full of negativity and doubt, it’s easy to feel lost and that God isn’t there. But, the Truth is that He has already promised otherwise. He is there, even when we can’t see it or feel it or experience it, He is with us! We don’t have to do anything to earn it. As my wise sister Abby once told me, it’s not about what you can do; it’s about what He did for us.  

2. God promises that He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, and to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

When I was experiencing violence to my soul, reading this promise and finally believing it was True was perhaps the most life-giving thing I’d ever heard. It was as if I’d never heard it before; I read it with a new heart, finally ready to receive what God had offered me long before I was even born. I had been at a point where I believed I had no future, that the odds were stacked against me, and that God, if He was there at all, didn’t care. How beautiful this promise was to see with fresh eyes! I had basically given up planning for a future, but took new hope in the promise that God really did have one in mind for me, for, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). 

3. God promises to restore all things (Acts 3:21).

The awareness I’ve gained of the world’s brokenness and my own brokenness can be difficult to bear at times. But thanks to God’s promise, I can rejoice that He will restore it all and that at His appointed time, [t]here will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4). My hope is in Him, who is bigger than any problem you or I may face, and who has promised to restore what has been broken in and around us. What incredible hope we can find in His promises to us! What reason to live and endure and bring His hope to this world! Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4). 

It takes faith to believe in the promises of God, it’s certainly not a popular thing. But I’ve tried it the other way and there was nothing for me there. No hope, no meaning, no future in sight. Stepping confidently forward in faith, everything changes and suddenly, all things are possible. Thanks be to God.  

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. -Psalm 27:3

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! -Luke 1:45

Further suggested reading:  An Unhurried Life by Alan Fadling

The Grace Upon Grace blog (www.graceupongrace.space) by Abby King

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