Tag: relationship

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All About Trust

Especially in this new season of big changes for the better, I’m running into a continued, daily confrontation: trusting God. I’ve touched on trust in Connection to Jesus and Do You Still Trust Me?, but I want to dive even deeper today. The side effects of not fully trusting God for safety, acceptance, or power to fend for myself if/when needed got me into the biggest rut yet in my life. It got to the point where I wasn’t able to be present or enjoy anything because I was constantly on alert for the next threatening thing. Without actively trusting God, I chronically expected to have to defend myself at all times. It left me paralyzed, sometimes literally.

Being in this state of mind is not healthy for any human being. I wouldn’t want anyone to experience such an underlying sense of fear. I can say from experience that the only thing that Truly, with a capital “T,” counteracts that fear is trusting Jesus. Not just saying we trust, but actively turning from the direction we’re heading, and trusting Jesus.

We are commanded, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). God doesn’t demand this because He wants dominance, but because it is actually the best thing for our well-being. While He is Sovereign and does have power over us, He wants real, loving relationship with us. Only God can strike that balance well with us because He will never use His power to our detriment. God is worthy of our trust.

The topic of trust is timely for me once again because I’m about to embark on a new adventure in my life, which I’ll be announcing here at midnight next Thursday. (Don’t miss it!) God is doing big things! But in being given and entrusted with new things to steward, God is now requiring a new level of trust in Him from me. There’s no way I can do what I’ve been given if I can’t trust Him well.

Trusting God well is something I simply couldn’t do until very recently. In these last 2.5 years, God has used difficulties to transform my heart. I now see that I needed to be broken in new ways in order to give the Lord room to make way for deeper trust in Him. I needed to be transformed before I could be entrusted with what the Lord wanted to give me; what He’s now given me. He didn’t force the change, He patiently waited until the right time and gave me an ability to trust Him in ways I hadn’t before. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). His timing is always perfect!

Part of my battle with control was wanting things to happen NOW, to be done now, to be realized now. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to make things happen that I now can see I wasn’t ready for. I couldn’t handle the things I wanted if I couldn’t trust God well.

God is a Good Father, and He doesn’t lay unfit burdens on us (Matthew 11:29). He knows us fully and intimately, He knows what He’s made us for and what we are ready for. Rest assured friends, He is working in you and that whatever He has for you to do next, He will bring it about at the right time.

When we trust Him with our lives, He’ll make sure we’re ready for whatever may come. May we trust the Lord, today and every day. Amen.

“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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The December Goal

I am amazed when I look back on how much God has done in the last year. Today I was reminded that the focus of my attention is too often on the “things” that I think will make my life better. Things like peace and joy are things that I often pray to experience, as I imagine they themselves would improve my own life. But I was convicted today that actually, the goal isn’t to experience the peace or the joy, but God Himself.

What if God Himself was our goal? What if we yearned for His Presence more than we yearn for the fruits of the spirit? Friends, God is the goal. Knowing God, being with Him in worship and prayer, and experiencing life in relationship with Him is just starting to describe the level of intimacy with Him that He desires to have with each one of us. This relational experience of God goes far beyond improving life—it IS life.

2025 has been a year of a lot of change for me. I’ve changed my vision for the future, expectations, rhythm of life, and even church. It’s been very difficult to adapt and yet wonderfully positive and life-giving. It’s been a challenging year of learning how to truly come to Jesus for rest (Matthew 11:28). “Surrender” has been the key word of my year. I would be led back to it no matter what the situation was or the state of my heart. I had to surrender control to God in order to move forward, time and time again. It was new, it was difficult, it was harder than it seemed and not what I thought it meant when I was newer in my faith. And it’s something I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. Surrender is so important to having a relational experience of God; it made up a lot of our back-and-forth conversations in 2025. I had to stop grasping at surrender; instead I had to let go.

This year, I’ve developed the perspective that letting go is the most courageous thing someone can do in their life. It’s also a tangible, practical way of trusting God instead of relying on self. But letting go isn’t weak or lazy, not at all. It’s powerful. It’s the way of true power and abundant life. Paul wrote, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). Paul was one who God chose to let go of his life of Jewish religious prestige and share the message of Jesus with many parts of the world that hadn’t heard it yet. Paul (then Saul) experienced Jesus in a way that caused him to repent, and he let go of the life he was living. He trusted the path that Jesus set him on instead (Acts 9:6 & 9:17-20). By God’s gracious love, we are able to do the same in our own lives today.

God Himself—seeking Him, living in His Presence, and being in His will out of reverence and trust in Him—that is what I’m calling the December goal. It’s the goal that can’t wait until January when everyone remembers to make life improvement lists. The December goal is the only goal we need to focus on, every day. It’s the only one we need, the life itself, yet it so easily can get overlooked, somehow. Seeking God, rather than His gifts, is the goal I want to have today and every day. Jesus said, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Gifts will follow, and can’t be the focus when we follow God wholeheartedly. Like the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 13:44), Jesus is worth all we have. In Him is the only place to find everything we yearn for. Jesus deserves it all, He gave it all for us.

If you’re reading this, and you haven’t surrendered to Jesus, don’t wait until January 1st. Don’t wait until tomorrow. It’s something that right here and now, in December, will be the only thing that truly, eternally, satisfies your soul. We were each made for a special, unique relationship with Him; let go of anything holding you back and give Him the control of your life. It’s hard, but don’t give up! Jesus is waiting, right now, to hear from you. Tell Him your struggles, your laments, your hopes, and expectations. He longs to hear your heart. He is worth your all.

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us)” (Matthew 1:23).

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7).

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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In Flesh and Spirit

Applying the Bible to day-to-day life is an ongoing, daily decision. For a long time, I didn’t really understand how it applied to my job or sleep or inner monologue. I got very used to doing whatever felt right and seemed right to me at the time, which I’d describe as my default way of being. I later learned the Bible calls it the way of the flesh. 1 Corinthians 3:3 calls being in the flesh “behaving only in a human way.” Well, human is what I am, isn’t it? Why should I expect more?

But we all do, don’t we? We know what we want to do, but sometimes—or as was in my case, often—we just don’t. No great explanation, we just fail to show up, fail to follow through, or run out of time or energy. I think Paul captures this frustration best, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:18-20). This isn’t to be read as an excuse for doing things we ought not do. Instead, it highlights how much we need Jesus. Only through Him can we be given the ability to do God’s will, or using the language in the ESV Bible, the ability to walk by the Spirit. “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

The way out of the frustrating cycle of doing what we don’t want to do depends entirely on how dependent we are on Jesus. To be in the spirit involves our minds, our thoughts: “those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit” (Romans 8:5b). It also involves leaving behind the selfishness that our flesh defaults to, “if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Romans 8:13b). Easier said than done, eh? Our minds churn out thousands of thoughts every day, and our bodies creep toward seeking comfort at every turn. To go against all that seemingly makes us human to obey God is no small feat, and one that we simply cannot do alone.

No matter how difficult it can be to resist old patterns of thought and behavior, God does not set us up to fail. To depend on Jesus is to be set up by Jesus with the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to be able to transcend our human weaknesses to obey the will of God. In surrender to God, we can love Jesus and keep His commandments (John 14). This is something our flesh simply cannot do. When we trust in Jesus and obey Him, we are able to walk by the Spirit and do things that aren’t possible on our own strength.

When we don’t depend on Jesus daily, or take care to walk in relationship with Him, we can quickly default to a self-pleasing or people-pleasing way of being, or the way of flesh. Jesus warns of this happening even when our intentions are good, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

By trying to be like God we fell into the state of being in the flesh. But in His grace, God has made a way for us to walk in the spirit despite our human shortcomings. In fact, He turns our weakness into the very avenue that leads us to Him. It is when we admit to and surrender our weakness to God in trust that He empowers us to walk in the Spirit.

The flesh, while something we must all live with and are warned about in Scripture, can be used for good when we choose to surrender it to Jesus. It makes your relationship with Jesus so much closer! It is in admitting the weakness of the flesh that I found out how completely I had to surrender to Jesus, and it is so worth it. Paul acknowledges this too, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

In Jesus, we have the power to overcome the power that the flesh has over us, and the power to walk in a way of goodness and obedience far beyond our human capability. He is faithfully restoring all things that were lost through Jesus. May we choose to walk in the Spirit daily, just as God created us to do from the Beginning. Amen.

“So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . .” (Romans 7:21-25).

“…if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. . . .” (Acts 5:38b-39a).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Lilacs in October

If you’ve read my post The Intimate Love of God, you’ll know how much I love flowers. To me, they have a kind of magical quality, a beauty that speaks to the beauty of heaven. So maybe it won’t surprise you too much to know that autumn is not my favorite season.

This week, however, something amazing happened–the lilac bushes in the area bloomed again. Typically only lasting a few weeks in spring, lilacs have one of my favorite scents. Upon walking outside in early October, I can suddenly smell the springlike, floral scent that the tiny clusters of light purple blooms are now wafting through the cool autumn air. For me, it’s a kind of small miracle.

Flowers typically signal spring, a time for singing in creation, “for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land” (Song of Solomon 2:11-12). To see spring flowers now, when creation is starting to show signs of fading for the colder months, was such a surprising encouragement for me, whose favorite season is spring (surprised?). It reminded me that God sees us and knows exactly what will delight us, and He uses that to speak to us uniquely.

Have you ever been surprised by an image or a symbol with special meaning to you and felt God nudging you? Sometimes He uses these simple everyday things to give us encouragement to keep going, or a moment of relief in a time of stress. If you haven’t, or it’s been a while, remember He is always speaking to you, and He never stops. He won’t ever stop trying to get your attention. Sometimes all we need is a reminder to notice His nudge in our hearts.

Let this encourage you to watch and listen for God. Amid the noise around us, God knows what means the most to us and speaks to us in a language that only you share with Him. He can use not only images and symbols but emotions, Scriptures, and other people’s words too. It is up to us to notice. It is up to us to appreciate how God relates to us and to grow in our relationship with Him.

So let this be a reminder to stop and literally smell the lilacs, in whatever form they take for you in your own life. God is waiting to delight you in His deep, specific knowledge of and love for you.

“All the earth worships you and sings praises to you; they sing praises to your name” (Psalm 66:4). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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The Joy of the Lord is Your Strength

My first blog of 2025 was back in early June, when I wrote about driving. In Jesus’ Kingdom vs my kingdom, right at the beginning of this beautiful Maryland summer, I rejoiced in the ability to drive again, in being healed. And while that is still true, I want to confess to you that my anxiety symptoms still do flare up from time to time. In the last month I’ve struggled with them. I wanted to be honest with you to say that if you also struggle sometimes, that doesn’t mean God hasn’t healed you.

I have been starting to see the gift in the struggle. Instead of seeing flare ups as set backs, I’ve started to see them as opportunities for simply surrendering the struggle to God once again, whether it be for the 5th or 500th time of the day. Yesterday, while driving one of the most challenging routes I’ve attempted, I experienced something different in the struggle–joy.

When I felt that difference, the verse “…the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10) popped into my mind. I experienced, for the first time in my memory, the pure joy and strength that comes from leaning into relationship with God in the midst of a moment of fear. I saw in that moment that leaning on His strength made my connection with Him stronger too in that moment, and I could experience His presence. Feeling anxiety wasn’t making me less worthy of Him or proving that I wasn’t healed, but instead it was teaching me how to connect to Him and trust Him more deeply.

God is calling us all into deeper relationship with Him. He can use anything to call us, perhaps especially the things we struggle with the most. For me, I just needed to see the fear as another way I could experience an expression of His love, instead of seeing it as some form of punishment.

In the context of Nehemiah 8, and in Psalm 20, God shows Himself to be strong for those of His people who find joy in Him. Psalm 20:5-6 says, “May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners! May the Lord fulfill all your petitions! Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.” I think a big mistake we tend to make is to think we are strong enough. If we just try hard enough, we think we can save ourselves. But we can’t, and we’re not supposed to.

We’re designed to lean on and trust God as we encounter struggle. We’re not supposed to chalk it up as shameful until we feel better about ourselves and try to face a challenge again. I pray this cycle that I was in doesn’t continue, and that you, friends, steer clear of it. Seeing it as the trap it is, and experiencing joy and strength from Him was all I needed to get through the anxiety I felt.

In that moment of experiencing joy, suddenly, the anxiety dissipated, and driving was no big deal again. Seeing the truth of God’s design for close relationship with Him makes the discomfort less mysterious. Our struggles are not the end, even though they may feel that way in the moment. We can taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8), and He won’t leave us to struggle alone. His desire is to heal us, and we are healed in His Presence. He’ll never stop wanting that for us, or inviting us to relate to Him more. May He use both the struggle and the joy in our lives for His glory. Amen.


“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:20).

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows” (Psalm 23:5).

“Sing aloud to God our strength; shout for joy to the God of Jacob!” (Psalm 81:1)

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Getting What You Pray For

We expect to get what we pay for. But what about what we pray for? I’ve questioned if something I am praying for is really God’s will, but many times I actively tried not to think about it that way and just prayed for what I wanted or needed. Knowing what God wanted seemed far too mysterious, and was something I would ignore out of frustration. I had no idea how to tell or how to walk in step with God’s will when it came to my everyday life, and it seemed like an impossible ask, and task.

Lately, I’ve come to understand this differently, in a way that removed so much more of the mystery than I ever thought possible.

Praying for My Will

The needs and wants that come up hourly in my own life and in the lives of those close to me seem infinite in number. There are needs to be met at every turn for every person, and it doesn’t take long to realize that we ourselves aren’t equipped to fill them all. We need God every day, hour, and minute. It is natural to have a need or want and pray for it to happen. It’s what I was taught to do, and there’s a good place for it. As an example, for many years I prayed that I would be able to go to bed and actually fall asleep earlier.

But as much as I wouldn’t have believed it or wanted to hear it, I didn’t know what I actually needed or wanted. I didn’t understand how God designed us first for relationship with Him and how much in our lives is a result of this Truth. I knew the sleep trouble indicated a misalignment somewhere in my life, but I didn’t realize that staying up too late was actually a symptom of not prioritizing my relationship with Jesus, or how He was calling me to live. I had prayed for the symptom, but completely missed the root cause.

God’s Restoration

Once I saw the connection of everything to my relationship with Jesus, things didn’t feel so complicated. I simply had to run to Him. I’ve had to learn many things “the hard way,” by not getting what I pray for. Those prayers weren’t focused on what was best in the long run, but what I thought would be good in the present. But God has worked in my heart to restore what I thought at one time was broken trust. God began a needed work of restoration in me that I couldn’t accomplish on my own. I prayed for it, and this time, He answered. He showed me that His will truly is what is best in the long run. Scripture clearly shows time and time again that it is God’s will to restore connection with the hearts that humbly bring themselves to Him. It’s who He is, part of His loving and faithful character. He will restore connection with us whenever we earnestly ask for it, because that is His will.

In this restoration of connection, God transformed my heart. He helped me see how things I believe, say, or do, especially when related to myself, affect my relationship with Him. He showed me through His Word and Spirit that relationship with Him is the most precious and important thing, both to me and to Him. His will is always barrier-free relationship with each one of us. Instead of simply praying for temporal improvements, I began to ask, does this affect my relationship with God? That question has changed everything.

He doesn’t want anything to come between Himself and me or you; He is faithful to help us keep our connection strong when we ask. Through His transformative work in my heart, I came to know that prayers aligned with restoring and keeping and growing trusting, relational connection with us will be answered. It has led to even deeper prayer, with a profound sense of knowing that God has already supplied every real need (Philippians 4:19), before we even ask!

Praying for God’s Will

I mentioned earlier about praying for perceived needs according to what we want or will. But things can get more complicated than that. What if it’s God’s will that a need remains unmet right now? What if His greater plan involves that need going unmet?

Jesus gave us an amazing example of praying for God’s will in the garden of Gethsemane, “And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done‘” (Luke 22:41-42). He knew the Father’s will, but in this prayer He lets the Father know His own will, which is quite opposite. But then, Jesus says something really extraordinary. Jesus displays ultimate humility, knowing and acknowledging that God’s will is sovereign. No matter how much Jesus’ own will tried to resist against it, He had decided long before praying that prayer that God’s will would always be His choice because of His trusting relationship with Him. He had no doubt about the Father’s character of ultimate love and goodness toward Him.

I believe God is inviting us today to decide, like Jesus had done, that He is sovereign in our lives, to humble ourselves in trust, and to choose relationship with Him over our own will. God’s will is restored relationship with Him, and in that place of safety there is freedom and life to be found, sweeter than any life we could attempt to build from our own will.

When we pray for God’s will, we get what we pray for. It may not be immediate, or the way we expect, but restored and strengthened relationship with God is where all this, His plan, is heading. God is faithful and trustworthy to fulfill His will. May His will be done!

“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35).

“If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority” (John 7:17).

“And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:27).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Fear of a Relational God

I’ve been thinking about Abraham lately, known as “the friend of God.” There are a few human beings that scholars would consider to be God’s friends, including Moses, who I wrote about in a previous post, Faithful Friend. Abraham is a fascinating character in the Bible, willing to give up his long-awaited, only son Isaac out of obedience, respect, and righteous fear of God.

As God’s friend, Abraham knew many facets of God’s character (check out my Characteristics of God series for a non-comprehensive list!). He knew God is not just a great friend, but that God was One to be feared. Abraham obeyed out of a healthy fear of God. In fact, fear was what God’s test for Abraham was all about. Just before Abraham was about to sacrifice Isaac, “He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me” (Genesis 21:17). God was looking for a reverent fear of Him in Abraham’s heart and is looking for it in our hearts today.

I’ve also been thinking about the many roles of relationship God fills for those of us who seek and follow Him–He’s like a father who protects and disciplines, He’s like a mother who comforts and nurtures, He’s like a friend who we confide in and consult with. God is all and more for us. God’s essence is pure relationship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; He miraculously, staggeringly, incredibly invites us into that amazing, harmonious, loving relationship between the Three Persons, not because He is lonely in the least, but because it’s the greatest relationship ever and He wants us to be in on it!

Deep relationship with God and the fear of God, then, seem to be very much intertwined. Knowing God’s character requires us to know and trust Him and His character enough to obey Him, even when it seems illogical or senseless–especially then. That means putting aside fears of looking silly or embarrassed in front of people, and fearing the consequences of disobeying our trusted Friend and all-powerful God more.

Have you ever sinned and immediately felt the separation from relationship with God? Felt it suddenly become a little more difficult to talk to Him or listen to Him? When that happened to me, I understood what fearing God looked like in real life better. Knowing how good having close relationship with God is made me start to fear losing it. When we lose it, it can be so much harder to discern His will for us. Close relationship with God is health and life and thriving, no matter the circumstances of our lives. Yes, He’s THAT good!

Just today I was reading about king Asa, the great great grandson of king David, one of the few kings who “did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God” (2 Chronicles 14:2). There was peace for years under Asa’s reign, but when an army of a million came against Asa’s army of 580,000, he didn’t panic. Asa cried out to God, and God not only defeated the army, but it “fell until none remained alive, for they were broken before the Lord and his army” (2 Chronicles 14:13b). That’s what reliance on the Lord looks like. When we rely on Jesus, He defeats anything that tries to kill, steal, and destroy our spirit.

After Scripture explains how the enemy army fell before Asa’s army, it says, “they [Asa’s army] attacked all the cities…for the fear of the Lord was upon them…” (2 Chronicles 14:14). God’s power and strength was demonstrated through the army, even though they weren’t even 6 to the enemy’s 10. When the odds were not in their favor, just as with David against Goliath, Daniel in the den of lions, and many other examples, God was in their favor and that is all that matters in the end.

And that’s all that matters in the end for us today. God has already conquered the sin that keeps us apart from Him through Jesus’ sacrifice for our sin. But to fully share in His victory, He invites us into relationship with Him. God wants us to seek Him and know His character. To know Him IS to fear Him, and He is worth fearing. A healthy fear of God involves reverence, devotion, obedience, and at the times when it keeps us within His will and not our own, a fear also of the consequences of God’s displeasure.

We see God’s displeasure with people lead to their demise often in the Old Testament. But even in the New Testament, fear of God’s displeasure with the contrivances and deceit of the heart is found in the story of Ananias and Sapphira, who lied to the community of believers they were a part of and to the Holy Spirit about money given to their ministry (Acts 5: 1-11). A fear of God came over everyone in the community when they saw that Ananias and Sapphira had received God’s divine judgment for their sin of lying. Their actions went directly against God’s work in building trust and unity. Peter told Ananias that Satan, who is also called the father of lies (John 8:44), had filled their hearts, instead of God’s Holy Spirit (Acts 5:3). God is infinitely more powerful than Satan, and is to be feared above anything that Satan could ever do.

God is patiently waiting for our hearts to be turned toward Him, and He invites us to trust Him and obey Him and seek relationship with Him. He is always speaking to us, always desiring deeper relationship with us. He is always present, and He never leaves us. May we have the fear of God, and may we stand with Jesus in His eternal victory! Amen.

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57).

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” (1 John 5:3-5).

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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The Intimate Love of God

Half of 2021 has been harder for me personally than the whole of 2020 was. While I love writing and sharing with you on this blog, sharing has seemed next to impossible at times, even to those closest to me. I’m grateful you are here after all this time away. In the past 14 months, I’ve found amazing solace outdoors, taking in the beauty to be experienced on nature walks. Nature somehow has a way of putting me back in the present moment, and it (usually) helps to drown out the noise in my mind.

I remember one day on one of my walks this spring, a particular daffodil caught my eye. It was not yellow; no yellow at all, just all-white petals. I stopped to look closer. The daffodils all around it were either all yellow, or had white petals surrounding an egg yolk-yellow center. Even the inner trumpet was a pure white. Now, maybe this is completely ordinary to you and you’ve seen many a white daffodil, but it struck me as particularly beautiful. I just stood and stared for a while, in awe of what I’d found. It felt special to behold, like seeing a four-leaf clover, or a black squirrel. It felt meaningful somehow, and I was grateful to be there (and present) for it.  

I don’t often mind walking alone, but a couple moments later, I felt a pang of loneliness, wishing I could share the beauty I had found. Feebly, honestly feeling a bit silly, I asked Jesus as I walked toward home, “Did you see that?” Immediately, He was there. This unexplainable knowing of His presence came over me, one I’ve had rarely. Somehow, I knew all at once that Jesus had been and was present with me, I knew He’d heard me, and I just knew the answer was yes, He’s seen it too. “More than that, I see you seeing it,” He seemed to say in my heart. And just like that, I had shared in the wonder I’d found, my longing fulfilled. 

When we draw near in faith, Jesus is quick to fulfill our longings with His love.

Being loved by God and loving Him is so foundational to faith because it allows us to stop trying to fulfill our longings with anything but Him. Faithfully trusting His love, we grow in our own ability to show true love, even when we don’t want to (there are plenty of times when this is the case!). Within God’s love, we are set apart as Holy with Christ, aware of and operating from a place that draws from the well of His deep, complete love, completely different from the partial elements of love we may seek after in the world. I’d like to share a few beautiful passages that illustrate God’s incredible love for us. 

A question God asked was about, arguably, the most damaging decision of all time. Not an obvious choice to show God’s love, but perhaps that is why I find it so remarkable. In Genesis 3:13, God asks Eve, “What is this you have done?,” when He knew she ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. But, did you know that this question isn’t only asked of Eve? 

Many years later, after establishing the nation of Israel through Moses and Joshua, God also asks the same question of the wayward Israelites (Judges 2:2). God used the faithfulness of Moses and Joshua to set the stage for the next best version of Eden possible. Eden, after all, represents God’s set of ideal circumstances for humans to thrive in. However, the Israelites could not keep God’s commands or stay faithful to the Lord.  

When God asks “What is this you have done,” again, hundreds of years later after He had freed His people from slavery in Egypt, built up their character through trial, and established everlasting covenants with them, I read this question with a tone of heartache, not just anger. With bitten-back tears, not only wrath. God wants the best for them, but He does not make decisions for people, or have faith for people–He opens Himself to the vulnerability of true relationship with humanity, and asks what we’ve done, perhaps not for His benefit but for ours. His love is apparent for Israel; even in their whoring against Him (Judges 2:17), this heart-wrenching question may be read from the heart of a Teacher, guiding the people to search their own hearts and ask it of themselves.

God heartbreakingly models what it looks like to love even when we don’t want to.

Hosea chapter 11 is quickly shooting to the top of my list of favorite Scriptures. In it is, to me, one of the most beautiful love letters in the Bible, straight from YHWH Himself to His beloved people Israel, here referred to as Ephraim, who was one of Joseph’s sons. I love to read this chapter as a love letter from our Father directly to us.

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols. Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know I healed them. I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love…” (Hosea 11:1-4a). 

God’s love for Israel is given imagery, and reading on we see that His love never stopped, no matter what the people did. In Hosea, God continues, “How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? … My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my burning anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.” (Hosea 11:8-9). God’s compassion for us is so clear in this passage. Despite His “burning anger,” which unchecked would destroy them, God’s compassion makes destroying His “child,” meaning His people, an impossible option due to His loving character.   

The force of God’s love is stronger than anything, and will never fail because He is God.

Other passages that directly express God’s deep, intimate, and devoted love for us include this one from the prophet Isaiah who writes, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold I have engraved you on the palms of my hands . . .” (Isaiah 49:15-16a).

Again we read the comparison of parent and child when it comes to the compassion of God. But I love this passage because it may refer to the nails driven through Jesus’ hands when He was crucified on the cross. Regardless, we are remembered by God on the very body of Jesus, by the scars from the nails that after His resurrection still engrave His hands (John 20:27), even as He is seated at God’s right hand. That is how intimately God loves us.  

Remembering relationship with God is a recurring theme throughout in the Bible. Jesus can never forget us as this passage from Isaiah states, for we are engraved, if not on his body then on His heart. In turn, God implores His people not to forget what He has done for them, who He is, and who they are because of Him. He asks the same of us, to remember the ways in which He has been and continues to be faithful to each one of us. 

Remembering Whose we are is a vital part of living in relationship with God.

“Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 31:20). Because we read that God’s heart actually yearns for His people, even when they constantly are unfaithful, committing idolatry against Him generation after generation, I invite you to ponder for a moment the weight of the fact that David was referred to as “a man after my own heart” (Acts 13:22). Of calling Jesus, David’s descendant, His Son, “with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11), God shows us that personal devotion to our relationship means everything to Him. Yet, we must remember because we are so prone to fall in line with the Israelites’ way, living in a state of pride and attempting autonomy on our own strength apart from our fiercely loving Father.

In Christ, we no longer have to be afraid of the closeness of God’s love. I admit, Jesus’ presence can be difficult. For me it sometimes seems too good, and too close. But intimacy with God is something that we were made for before sin entered in. What does the enemy know of intimacy? It is innately human to feel the the pull of intimacy we were all born with. May we allow it to drive us to, like David, seek after God’s own heart for ourselves.   

Intimacy with God is more innate to us than our sinful nature.

After I found the white daffodil, that same night I was talking to Jesus about the beauty of the experience, and I felt His almost-too-good presence near again. He spoke to my heart, “Yes, it was beautiful. I saw you seeing it. That’s the way I see you, you know. The way you stopped to see the beauty of that white daffodil is the way I look at you. You’re so beautiful, I stop and point at you and say to my Father and the Holy Spirit, ‘Look! Isn’t she beautiful?’”  

Well, I just about lost it. Maybe you can imagine what hearing that meant to me in a season of isolation, and the intense intimacy of that. It was deeply personal and unique, and yet this is Jesus’ heart towards everyone, even with a “silly” faith the size of a mustard seed that feebly reaches out to Him, He is there for us. Please hear my heart and know that I am not sharing this to brag by any means, but to express the intimacy with which He loves and knows you just as well, and certainly immeasurably more. We are seen, known, appreciated, and loved deeply by Jesus whether we have a relationship with Him or not, and when we reach out to connect with Him, there is truly nothing better. He fulfills our need for love both in the ways we can understand, and far, far beyond them as well. For me that day, it was through a flower. For you, I hope you remember today that He loves you with an unending love, and experiencing that is only ever a reach of your heart in faith away. 

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of Life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. …” (Romans 8:1-3a).

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