Tag: Question

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3 (More) Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Faith

When I wrote 10 Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Faith, it was 2019. It was about four years after my hardest season of struggling with faith had ended. I started this blog to help people who struggle with faith to feel less alone, and that early blog post remains one of the most-read posts. We want to help those around us, but we don’t always know how. We can’t always relate to someone else’s struggle, because each of our journeys is unique. But as someone who’s been there as far as losing faith and finding it again, I wanted to help bridge the gap between people who struggle with their faith, and their loved ones. And I still do.

Before we get into the 3 ways to help further, I want to acknowledge that a person who has reached a point where they are questioning faith, a foundational component of identity and life, means that they are desperate. Desperate for change. Desperate for authenticity and Truth. This has led them to a place of questioning what is True in their lives, which a very difficult thing for a human being to do. It is much more common and more comfortable not to question the things we can’t reconcile. People who struggle with questions of faith are extremely courageous. They are facing the fear that they might have gotten things very wrong. They are willing to do the hard work of seeking out the Truth, despite what they might find out about themselves or others along the way. We thank God for these Truth-seekers in our lives! Those who choose to go through fire for the Truth can be some of the most refined.

1. Don’t Give Up on Connection

Connection is one of the most healing things there is. God made us to connect with Him and with other people. He designed us to be loved, supported, and encouraged by those we share connections with, aka people in our community. Our community can be our neighbors, coworkers, friends, church community, and family. When a person is struggling with their faith, those connections can feel especially difficult to maintain. They simply cannot relate in the ways they did before.

If you are a safe person to someone in a faith struggle, you may hear things from them you never expected to hear. You may hear things that are sad, surprising, or existential. Without a common foundation of understanding, these are very hard things to connect with another person about. It makes sense that it’s tough to connect. But please don’t give up.

To someone struggling with faith, they likely feel that their identity is in flux. This is why this struggle can lead to people pulling away from those in their communities. It’s likely not because they want to break a relational connection, it is more plausible that they don’t want to ruin a connection because they can’t act or speak in the same ways they once did with you. It is nearly impossible to be undergoing inner world changes while simultaneously following the norms of conversation. Nothing feels normal anymore to someone struggling. Questions of faith can’t be resolved in one sitting or one conversation. Anyone in relationship with someone going through these types of questions will need to be patient.

Connecting with someone is the last thing they probably feel they can do, yet it can be one of the most reassuring and helpful things for their heart. You don’t have to understand everything they are thinking about, you just need to be a constant, loving presence that won’t give up on them, and isn’t scared of what they are going through. Their faith journey is normal and healthy and is for a purpose, and you can help remind them of that when their world seems to be spinning out of their control. To open the possibility up to connect, the most important thing is to make sure they know you aren’t going anywhere.

2. Share Your Testimony of Faith

To truly connect with someone, that person needs to know where you’re coming from. The worst thing you can do when you want to help someone in a faith crisis is to hide where you stand when it comes to your own faith. The best way to let them know where you stand is to share your story. Why do you believe what you believe about God? What makes you solid in your faith? Hearing someone share how certain and unwavering they were in their convictions about how God moves, and hearing them state the Biblical Truths that they stand firm on made a big impact with me when I was struggling with faith. I became curious how they were so certain, what made quoting the Bible so easy for them, how they seemed to be so calm in their spirit about the things I was not calm about. It made me press deeper into what was actually True. Truth is what people need when they are in this state, and oftentimes, they need to find it for themselves. But our testimonies can point them towards Jesus. Our own faith can encourage and inspire other people, even when it doesn’t seem apparent that they trust or believe us at first. The Holy Spirit is faithful to work in people’s hearts, and can use your story and your life to testify of His love and Truth. We are called to share our stories in love, with prayer and discernment as to the right timing and circumstances.

3. Bring Them Around People Who Love God

When I was struggling, I was brought into a church worship service where the room was full of people lifting all their love to God, and God’s love was palpable as it poured back in turn on the room. It was an amazingly beautiful experience that I still think of often. I could not deny that God’s love was in that room, or that He was completely real and True to those people worshiping Him that day. Being in a room of people who love and adore the Lord, better yet, who are authentically worshiping joyfully, is one of the most confronting things a person struggling with faith can see. When our faith runs out, sometimes we just need something we can see. It can eventually bring clarity to the confusion.

To recap, three (more) ways we can help someone struggling are to never give up on them and make sure they know we will always be there for them, share our faith, and make faith visible in a way that doesn’t require their response. Surround them with love, and pray for guidance to the unique ways that you can connect with and share with that person in the love of Christ for them.

The focus must always be on God, not on them; or on us. May we let the story God is writing speak.

To God be all the glory! Amen.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged‘” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Truth and Spiritual Warfare

Do you think it’s a coincidence that as we gear up to take things to a new level, suddenly things start going wrong? Maybe things start getting under our skin, distracting us, or even making us doubt that taking that next step forward is the right thing. This is nothing new. It is a predictable attack, and yet, I for one can still easily fall into thinking the worst about it, that this time might be different and maybe I really do need to be afraid. This is just one common tactic the enemy uses in spiritual warfare against us.

Feeling the effects of these tactics, I’ve questioned both myself and God so many times, “Did I really hear You right, God?” “Am I actually ready for this?” “Why would I be feeling so uncertain if I’m supposed to take this step?” I somehow find it hard to remember the fact that the enemy really, really badly wants anything and everything good in our lives to fail. He wants us discouraged and hopeless, working to kill, steal, and destroy our souls (John 10:10). The enemy is not creative, however. He doesn’t attack in any new ways, he uses the same exact ones (called “schemes” in Ephesians 6:11) relentlessly, over and over again, hoping to separate us mentally and in our hearts from the Truth, and our God-given identity and work. The schemes started with a tactical question he asked Eve that led her to sin in the Garden, “Did God really say [that]?” (paraphrase, Genesis 3:1). I talk about this question in depth in my post called The Serpent’s Question. The devil still asks us the same old question today, just personalized to fit our unique circumstances.

That question has driven people to believe outright lies about God, other people, and themselves, stealing their time, energy, and perhaps much more. But God has made the Truth about Himself known to us very clearly through His Word, and to all people: “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). We may know God is with us, and trust that He has authority and power over every scheme of the enemy, and yet, we still experience the enemy’s attacks in this fallen world. But, God’s Word warns us of them and prepares us for them. Spiritual warfare is clearly acknowledged in the Bible. God does not leave us defenseless. Ephesians 6 is a well-known chapter on the importance of the armor of God to prepare for such warfare: “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:11-12). No authority is above Jesus, our Authority, and in Him, we are completely and fully protected.

Not only does God care for us by giving us access to the armor of God, but we have Truth to stand on when lies come: the Word of God, Jesus, who IS the Truth itself (John 14:6), and our relationship with Jesus. Whenever lies threaten to kill our spirit, steal our joy, or destroy our hope, because of these gifts of Truth we have the ability to move forward with the purposes of God in the world despite any spiritual attacks that come against us.

That doesn’t mean spiritual warfare is easy, but it does mean that we have hope, despite every effort of the enemy to break us down into hopelessness. Those of us who love Jesus and seek Him out know what God says to us in His Word. We’re listening and attentive in prayer. We know when He speaks to our hearts. We write down and do our best to remember what He has spoken. But sometimes, the warfare of the enemy of our souls finds a weakness, a place where we aren’t believing the Truth about God or ourselves. He can use “cracks” in our armor, like insecurities or fears, to influence the inner dialog we have with ourselves in our hearts. As the father of lies (John 8:44), the enemy is well beyond an expert at attempting to get us to believe lies, and confuse them with the Truth.

So, take heart, friends. While spiritual warfare is nothing new, there are times when the attacks become more intense. It feels to me like now is one of those times. Thankfully Jesus gave us even more to help defend and remind us of Truth, the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:26-27). We are never left alone friends, in Jesus we have reason to have unshakable peace and hope, even while the spiritual attacks come.

May we all stand firm on the Truth, trusting Jesus, and never giving up the hope found in Him. Amen.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!” (Isaiah 5:20).

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true” (Revelation 21:4-5).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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The Serpent’s Question

I always thought it was a little harsh for Jesus to call Peter “Satan,” after he didn’t want to accept the news that Jesus would be killed. I mean, can I blame Peter for at least trying to lighten the mood after Jesus made such a dark pronouncement? Maybe Peter’s motives weren’t really “evil” and he just wanted to bring a little hope to Jesus, right? 

This week, my perspective has been completely changed, and I wanted to share it with you. What finally became clear to me about this oft-quoted scene was that Jesus was seeing past both Peter’s actual words and perhaps motives too. Instead, Jesus was discerning the true meaning and belief Peter had, a basic assumption that allowed him to even utter these words.

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’

Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’” (Matthew 16:21-23). 

Jesus saw that Peter, perhaps unknowingly, was actually questioning what God said in the Old Testament. Though it clearly foretells through the psalms and prophets that the Messiah must suffer (eg: Isaiah 53), Peter revealed that he could not believe these prophecies. 

Peter’s question had the same meaning as the serpent’s question to Eve in Genesis 3:1, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 

Did God actually… was the seed of doubt planted in Eve’s mind, a question of her belief. After a bit more of the serpent’s reasoning in verses 4-5, Eve’s belief in God’s trustworthiness was swayed, all because of the serpent’s question. 

Asking herself a serpent’s question,“Is that REALLY what God said?,” had disastrous consequences. 

Sure, for Peter, it might have been comforting in the moment to question whether his friend and teacher Jesus’ death was inevitable, but it wouldn’t have been in line with what God said in His Word. If Jesus believed a lie about God, even just one, it would have been disastrous. 

Okay, you may be thinking, I get it. But what exactly moved Jesus so much as to call Peter “Satan?” Peter’s words “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” in Matthew 16 are not the same words the serpent used with Eve.

However, if we look at the belief behind Peter’s words, it is in direct opposition with God’s Word. Peter’s meaning essentially comes down to, “I do not believe God!” Jesus saw Peter’s words to be a clear rejection of God’s truth. He saw it as a complete lack of faith in the Word of God. To deny the foretold suffering was to deny that God was actually telling the truth–there it is plainly, Satan’s trademark. In light of this, Jesus was perhaps not so much harshly overacting toward Peter as simply calling it what it was.   

Listening for the meaning behind any question will help us see as sharply as Jesus did. 

Friends, I invite you to join with me in asking the Holy Spirit for discernment to know the belief behind the words we take in and tell ourselves.

Luckily, the serpent’s questions are unoriginal. Their underlying meaning and belief are always the same. But they are crafty. They can sneak into our thoughts just as easily as they did with Peter’s if we don’t watch for them. The essence of Peter’s rebuke and all serpent’s questions are, “God couldn’t possibly have meant that!” Other variations include, Is God really like that? Is that actually what God said? 

Learn to recognize the serpent’s question.

Coming to terms with our own serpent’s questions is no small feat. When we recognize we are trying to do something on our own strength, realize we haven’t prayed about something we’ve been worrying about for weeks, or simply don’t understand why our putting in more time and effort for something we want is getting us nowhere, we have a moment of opportunity. It is there we can stop and see the truth of our position, which is humility. One of my new favorite verses speaks perfectly to this, “For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all” (Romans 11:32). When we go our own way in disobedience, even there we find God’s grace.

How to break this cycle? Living in honest dependence on God involves recognizing that we are desperate without Him. Complete dependence is terrifyingly vulnerable. Yet, that’s how intensely and intimately God invites us to trust in Him. “...unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). As His children, God invites us to depend on Him for every need and every desire; He is and never stopped being our Good Father.  

Being aware of our desperation for God can lead us to two extremes: total surrender or complete resentment. 

In surrender, we are humbled, in awe, broken and owning up to that brokenness. We are aware in that place of surrender that we have nothing to give without God. On the opposite end, recognizing how dependent we really are on God can also feel frustrating, even demoralizing. If we’re honest, we can resent that we will never truly be able to fulfill that natural human desire for power and control. Knowing the truth that God is the one in control can be a struggle to come to terms with. But take heart, God takes this into account too, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14).

Maybe you’re like me, and struggling with overcoming pride might be a huge part of your spiritual journey too. That’s okay. When and as we are ready, God is faithful to show us the beauty of that other side, the side of our willing surrender to His capable hands. He is constantly showing us His goodness, and how good it is that He is in control, and not us. We need only to look for it and be open to seeing it. There is always more to learn, more to understand, more to discover about God. That is what makes our Life with the King so exciting! 

We cannot glorify God if we are too busy glorifying ourselves. 

I’m telling myself this too! So, how do we deny self daily (Luke 9:23)? How do we fulfill the greatest commands, to love God and love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39)? It is a constant decision to pick up our crosses and obey Jesus willingly. How do we keep this up? To love God is a daily choice. God is the one who then takes that choice and makes us able to love. Love is the most fulfilling part of life. The Way of love brings fulfillment! We must depend on Him and His love completely, fully, and humbly to walk in the Way of love. Maybe this too is why Jesus reacted so harshly to Peter; He knew that Peter wasn’t surrendered fully to God’s will.

That place of obedience and surrender to the Way of walking out His command is where our ego dies. Denying ourselves doesn’t just happen. It takes a willing humility to choose it every day. We will fail sometimes. That’s okay. But there is nothing better than being surrendered to the will of God. That is the place God intended for us from the beginning, when all was perfect in the Garden. There is no room to feel self important in that place of complete grace, mercy and childlike dependence. Jesus’ work on the cross made a Way for us to come back into God’s will. In that place, serpent’s questions are silenced. There is no ego in love.  

Allow your heart, your soul, your very self, to be moved by God’s love for you.

It is in that place of acceptance of being loved by God that we can begin to live freely and lightly, under the authority and protection, the abundance and goodness, the meaning and fulfillment, of Christ. 

We do not make ourselves able; we make ourselves available to Him. 

That is our step; to be open to God and all He has for us. In doing that, we let Him come close to rescue us, give us His Spirit, and fight temptation with us. God makes us able. Amen.

“Resist the devil and he will flee…” (James 4:7)

“Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’” (James 4:5). 

Thank you for spending some of your journey here. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer Part II

When it comes to God intervening in our lives, or, “working a miracle,” it can be easy to push the thought aside. After all, there are so many prayers that don’t result in the miracle prayed for; there’s death, loss, illness, and pain all around us, every day in our world. So much so that it can almost sound cruel to talk about miracles. So much so that I hesitate to even write about them. But I’m going to anyway because despite any doubts, God provides reason for genuine hope.   

In Prayer Part I, I shared that prayer is a command, that prayer can be difficult, and that prayer flows with God’s will (and will be answered) when it is done in Spirit and truth. In other words, prayer works when we trust that God hears and responds to requests that align with His loving, healing, merciful, and kind character. In this second post on prayer, I want to highlight the power of praying for a miracle.

Now, maybe you’re asking, “What’s the point of praying for a miracle if God’s going to do what He’s going to do anyway?”

I have asked that question too, and it’s a legitimate question. We’re taught that God is all-powerful, good, and loving. 

Why pray? 

First of all, because God commands it. Philippians 4:6-7 urges us to run to prayer whenever we have a request, or whenever there’s a situation that causes unrest in us. God calls us to thank Him, talk to Him, petition Him, and in turn we can enjoy an unexplainable, wonderous peace, knowing that He is in control, and not us. Also looking at the life of Jesus we see He prayed often, and asked others to pray for Him. If Jesus needed prayer as part of His life, then we certainly do too. 

Second, God hears and responds to prayer. Prayer is a way to communicate with God and build a relationship with Him. He promises in the Bible over and over again that He hears us; here’s just one example: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).  

“Wait up,” you might be thinking, “we have what we asked of him? What about all the pain and death and suffering mentioned earlier?! I’ve prayed for a lot of that stuff to be taken away and it hasn’t. It’s not as simple as that, and you know it!” 

Exactly right, astute reader. While we don’t have all the answers to why God allows pain, illness, or tragedy to strike, we know that ultimately, because of who He is, all of that WILL be taken away. Maybe not right now, but God asks us to keep faith that He, as the ultimate Healer, will heal all. And sometimes, He does heal right NOW, according to His will. That’s what we call a miracle.

So, we pray because God brings about His own will on earth through our prayers! That’s just how He wanted it. He is not a dictator who acts without anyone’s consent. He invites us to participate with him in doing His will through prayer. All he asks is to have faith that He will do what we ask.

Prayer requires faith. 

When I needed to see a miracle most in my life, I had no faith. Five years ago, I lost touch with God entirely, and there wasn’t a drop of joy left in my soul when I got a call at work. Mom, who was suffering from severe depression, was in critical condition in the ER. That news, on top of the vast emptiness already gnawing me from the inside out, was just too much. 

I don’t remember much besides hyperventilating, pacing, crying, and screaming to God that it wasn’t fair and she didn’t deserve this. After five long, excruciating hours of waiting in the ER, we were brought into a room with the doctor, who offered no hope that Mom would live. 

I started shaking and my mind was just a blur. 

The anxieties and fears of my heart and mind, though all-consuming, were not too big for God. 

Despite my utter lack of faith at that point in my life, I witnessed dozens and dozens of people pouring into that ER waiting room to pray for Mom. I felt numb, just going through the motions of praying because I didn’t know what else to do.

Still, I was stunned at the fervency and faith by which these many strangers prayed aloud for Mom. They were asking for the unthinkable; a miracle. These strangers knew what I didn’t yet know, 

God partners with our faith in prayer.

He works powerfully through our faith in who He is and what He does. My own soul longed to participate in this beautiful phenomenon. I witnessed it that night from the outside, jealous of the faith that I saw pouring out of these generous stranger souls. No effort of my own will could muster up faith in the moment I needed it. I had to rely on others’ faith for this miracle. 

Prayer makes a difference. However, please don’t misunderstand; prayer is powerful because of God’s power, not our own. Again, it’s our faith that makes a difference. I think this is what Jesus meant when He said faith moves mountains (Matthew 17:20).  

2 Corinthians 1:9-11 talks about the power of prayer, “Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.”

Through the experience of that terrifying night, I learned that prayer has the power to bring someone from the door of death to deliverance. The “prayers of many” made a difference for Mom. The next day she awoke, and was taken off her ventilator. She came home from the hospital about six weeks later. She made a truly miraculous, full recovery and today is doing better mentally and emotionally than ever before. 

Just as God delivered Paul from this dire situation of deadly peril, God delivered Mom, and brought her from death to life. Even the doctors admitted that it was a “miracle” that she had not only survived, but suffered no lasting damage.

Prayer is powerful. 

Since seeing Mom’s miracle, my faith grew. My ability to believe in prayer was restored, and today I fully believe in healing miracles. It was a process, not an instant jolt of faith, but I couldn’t deny seeing first hand that God is able. I no longer take for granted that I get to take part of God’s healing work on earth through prayer. If you need to see a miracle of healing, take heart! Seek God and He promises you will find Him. “He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea” (Psalm 102:17).

He is looking for us to have confidence in Him, and the character He has revealed to us as life-giver, healer, and redeemer. And that’s exactly what a mighty prayer army that came out of nowhere did for Mom and our family, right there in the ER waiting room.

God is a God of miracles.

If you have read this post, know that you’ve already been prayed for. God hears you. Please send me an email if you have specific prayer requests; I’d love to pray for you. 

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:22-24).

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