Tag: Prayer

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Dad with a Capital D

Scripture tells us that Judas was in charge of the money for Jesus and His disciples (John 12:6, John 13:29). Money, thirty pieces of silver to be exact, ended up being his downfall when he traded Jesus for it (Matthew 26:14-16). Jesus taught by example, and I have to believe Judas was put in charge of the money for good reason, even though he was a thief (John 12:6), to teach him, and to help him overcome his greed and the way it tempted him. By His life and work, Jesus showed Judas that life was more than money, and that God provides for every need. Jesus taught this to Judas regardless of the choices he would end up making. 

Similarly, Jesus gave his three closest disciples the task to watch and pray (Mark 14:34) while He was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, awaiting capture. His command to watch and pray includes the reason, “so that you will not fall into temptation” (Mark 14:38), which struck me as odd the first few times I read it recently. What temptation could they be facing as they were trying to be a comforting presence to Jesus? On one level, the temptation to sleep was very present, the gospel accounts make the point that the disciples there with Jesus did not stay awake. But Jesus seems to be pointing to a greater temptation than sleep, rather, the temptation to fall away and desert Him. This temptation is still very present today, and we are constantly being faced with life lessons about this, feeling the life tension this particular temptation affords.  

God may task us with the things that tempt us the most for our good.

These two very universal examples of greed and disloyalty to God can be great lessons to us from our ever-present and patient yet good, Dad. What tempts you the most? Perhaps you’re already in a position where you are facing temptation with a capital “T” every day. This is what the disciples faced too. They were threatened with death for following Jesus, so the temptation to fall away was very strong. But Jesus knew that in order to love Him and love their neighbors, they would have to be free of their temptations to sin. He knew that surrendering their temptations to God was the way to avoid giving in to them. 

If we are struggling with temptation, we have the opportunity to face it with Christ and accept the freedom He provides from it. Trials such as these actually demonstrate God’s love for us and His work for the best for us, just as Jesus wanted the best for His disciples. He gave them all every opportunity to believe in Him and repent, even Judas, to the very end of his life.

Temptation that has not been faced still threatens to keep us captive, and Jesus told the disciples to face it head-on with God in prayer. God doesn’t want captivity for us, He wants the freedom which we were made for.

God’s lessons aren’t easy, but they teach us to be free. 

When we have need that only God can fill, but go to something else to be satisfied, we are choosing to be a slave to that something else. We give in to the temptation of idolatry when we run to anything but God to fulfill us. God does not desire us to be free of needs or desires, He gave them to us! Instead, He wants us to come to Him to fulfill them, not to anything else. Only He can fulfill all our needs and provide us with lasting satisfaction. Once we come to trust that this is true, we stop explaining it away, and we stop making excuses for our need for safety, security, power, control, love, and affection. This allows us to step into the fullness of Christ, but also into the fullness of ourselves, who we truly are. Letting go of all our very real and present needs and giving them to God instead of trying to meet them ourselves is key. This is where true freedom is for us as human beings.

Many people live their whole lives holding back who they truly are in order to get their needs met by temporal people or things. This is not how God intended us to live. Temptation is the refining fire, the lesson to learn, the test to prove how free we truly are–how fully and deeply we depend on God alone.

Not denying the truth anymore opens us up to being fully ourselves and fully alive.

James, the younger brother of Jesus, wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). These tests and trials he refers to are the temptations Jesus dealt with in his friends, things like greed and disloyalty to God out of fear. 

For many of us, coming to maturity in our freedom in Christ is a lifelong journey. But what if we could start living this way today? What if we lived as if just today, the veil was torn right before our eyes and we enjoyed deep intimacy with God in His presence for the first time? How much more free might we be today with our love for others? How much less would we concern ourselves with money when we are fully aware of how wealthy we are in His abundant presence? Would we give to and serve our neighbors differently? Love our friends and family differently? Be devoted to God on a new level? Let’s take the first step toward this life today, in faith that God will provide all we need to satisfy our desires.

God wants nothing to hold us back from abundant life with Him.

Friends, the Kingdom of Heaven is here on earth right now in us; we can start living as our fullest selves here and now. God desires to help us do that through the Holy Spirit. Are there needs we don’t we trust He can meet? Fears we don’t think He can’t soothe? Problems we don’t think He can solve? I encourage you to join me as I too wrestle with these questions in the presence of God. Today we can see what the disciples’ lessons were, but can we see and learn from our own? Let’s allow God to speak truth and life to all the things that we believe hinder our path to enjoying freedom in His present Kingdom. 

God created us to shape culture, to rule the earth with justice and mercy. When Jesus reigns in our hearts, we bring His Kingdom culture here and now. May we lay the hardest parts of our hearts, our ugliest sins, before the foot of the cross, and allow Jesus to redeem them all. Jesus already paid the price for them. He is the ever-patient Dad to us, never forcing even His love and presence, upon us. He loves you and never gives up on His design for your freedom. Today may we let Him love us despite it all. All truly is forgiven.  

Further Reading:

Garden City by John Mark Comer

The Welcoming Prayer by Thomas Keating

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Characteristics of God: Faithful Friend

What makes a good friend? A lot of things come to mind about different friends I’ve had in my life, but I don’t often stop to consider how God has been the most faithful friend to me of them all. 

This post continues the Characteristics of God series where we discuss, Who is God and What is He like?

God is our faithful friend because He is closer to us than anyone, He loves us beyond measure and wants the best for us, He doesn’t leave when things get messy, and He affirms the truth, that our identity is in Him. 

You and I were designed to be with God, yet my tendency is to isolate, withdraw, and pull away from intimacy with Him. Perhaps especially because on His part, there is only goodness and love, deep care and concern for my well being. 

It’s hard for me to allow myself to be loved like that, with nothing held back. All my sin is exposed and I want to hide it. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. But God wants us to hang in there even though it’s uncomfortable sometimes. He longs for us to push past this feeling and walk in the truth, that we can’t hide anything from Him, nor does He want us to. He invites us into close friendship with Him every moment of every day. 

Jesus paid the cost for us to draw closer than close to Him.

God is faithful to guide us day by day, sometimes even when we aren’t paying attention, into learning His love and how to give it to others. But then, how do we be a friend to God? 

A faithful friend is someone who doesn’t leave when things get messy. When one falls apart, the other doesn’t get scared off. They stay present. They don’t agree with negativity and they remind us of what’s true and who we are. 

That’s exactly what Moses did for God Himself. 

But wait, you might be thinking, God wanted to leave when things got messy? He did! Moses talked to Him about it, in Exodus 32. I didn’t really understand why Moses was called the “friend of God” until I recently read this incredible story. 

The Israelites had turned to idolatry, putting their desires first, and that made God extremely angry. God became so angry, in fact, that He wanted to kill them (Exodus 32:10). Who can’t relate to that feeling? That moment when our blood boils and all we can see is red; God said to Moses, “Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you” (Exodus 32:10). 

I suspect God wanted to be left alone by Moses so that Moses wouldn’t be near the line of fire, but I also think of how anger can get more intense when we’re alone. We have time to sit and revel in how angry we are and dwell on all the reasons why our anger is justified. I can understand wanting to be alone when angry. 

But Moses didn’t leave God alone! 

When God told Moses what He was thinking He wanted to do in anger, Moses was calm enough to reason with God. He interceded for the Israelite people, “Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, to whom you swore by your own self…” (Exodus 32:13), reminding God of the bigger picture of redemption from sin, and how His plan to preserve Israel was in line with His character.  

In Exodus chapter 33, God was still angry with the Israelites, even after He had sent due punishments on them. His friend Moses then coaxed Him to draw near the people again. God seemingly preferred to send an angel (33:2) instead of going with the people Himself. But Moses reminded God of their friendship (33:12), and reminded God of who He is, and who He is to His people (33:16). 

Moses encouraged God to act in His identity as their God, which Moses said was “in [His] going with [His] people” (33:16). And He did! Moses’ friendship was so strong with God because he knew God’s heart. Moses, and we too, are MADE for this deep friendship with Him.

That depth of friendship with Him is what God invites us to do today, right now.

Because Jesus made it possible, we are under a newer covenant with God than Moses and the Israelites had; one that is defined by faith and intimacy with God, instead of works and sacrifice. Jesus paid it all so that we could always draw near, and so that He could always go with us. 

Think of your best friend. Someone you wouldn’t mind being around all the time, someone who you’d always enjoy having at events or during travels. That is how God feels about us.

God moved heaven and earth when He became flesh to be with us, to be friends with us, to be present with us in our midst, and to make it possible for us to be with Him in unhindered friendship. 

Is a friendship with God, like Moses had, really possible?

Rest assured that it is not only possible, but God longs for it! God is deeply moved by us and our faith in Him. The state of our hearts and what we do matters to Him because He loves us. He truly wants the best for you and me. That is the best kind of love a friend can give us! 

God is certainly not an impersonal, unmovable force that pays no mind to our prayers or pleadings, as the conversation scene in Exodus illustrated so beautifully. Instead, He allows us to influence Him, just as Moses did, by our faith in and knowledge of His character. That’s why knowing who He is and what He does is so important! God influences us, but because He desires authentic relationship with us, we also are able to influence Him, including in prayer. 

God is our most faithful friend.

In the Bible, friendship often implies a treaty (Deut 23:6, Ezra 9:12)–an agreement of peace and mutual benefit; give-and-take. For much of His ministry, Jesus gave to His disciples as a master to a servant, but in John 15 after the Last Supper, Jesus distinguishes a change in their relationship. At last, after knowing, following, and walking with Him for several years, the disciples are no longer just servants, but Jesus considers them His friends: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). 

Our friends not only know what we do, but why we do it. Jesus admits that His hand is tipped, so to speak, that He let them in to the intel of God’s plan. Even the prophets saw it only in part, they didn’t see or know it all. Jesus not only revealed God’s plan in full, He fulfilled that plan. 

That changes how He relates to us, now in a more intimate way than any other time prior. Through the Holy Spirit in us, God is closer to us than our breath itself. We are able to be even closer to God than Moses, whose face was radiant from being so close to His presence (Exodus 34:30)! Remembering how God has been a faithful friend to us can greatly inspire us to go and do the same.

In Merciful Master, I talk about bringing the Kingdom of God to earth by showing mercy. We also bring the Kingdom to earth by being a faithful friend–to others, to ourselves, and back to God. 

A faithful friend won’t let us forget our true identity. 

Our true identity is secure and unchanging because it lies in God. Though the world often tells us the opposite, our identity in Christ is worthy, enough, and loved. This truth of who we really are has the power to bring us back to life when discouraged, and friends can speak this truth to us. Jesus can do this most powerfully and fully because He IS life and truth itself. 

Investing in friendship with Him is never a regret. God is such a faithful friend that He named Himself “God with us,” Emmanuel (Matthew 1:23), naming Himself (yet again) by His relationship with us (eg: Jealous, I AM). Still, we forget all the time what our true identity is. Thankfully, God is faithful to remind us as we walk in friendship with Him.   

In His friendship there is no concern that He will leave or forget who we are, even if we do. 

Our true, faithful Friend Jesus loves us beyond measure. Despite how hard it can be to accept untainted, unselfish love from God, we are called to lean into it. He is faithful to make His character clear when we are willing to see past our own. 

May we have abundant faith that Jesus paid the full and final cost for us to enter into close friendship with Him. 

“The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent” (Exodus 33:11). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer Part II

When it comes to God intervening in our lives, or, “working a miracle,” it can be easy to push the thought aside. After all, there are so many prayers that don’t result in the miracle prayed for; there’s death, loss, illness, and pain all around us, every day in our world. So much so that it can almost sound cruel to talk about miracles. So much so that I hesitate to even write about them. But I’m going to anyway because despite any doubts, God provides reason for genuine hope.   

In Prayer Part I, I shared that prayer is a command, that prayer can be difficult, and that prayer flows with God’s will (and will be answered) when it is done in Spirit and truth. In other words, prayer works when we trust that God hears and responds to requests that align with His loving, healing, merciful, and kind character. In this second post on prayer, I want to highlight the power of praying for a miracle.

Now, maybe you’re asking, “What’s the point of praying for a miracle if God’s going to do what He’s going to do anyway?”

I have asked that question too, and it’s a legitimate question. We’re taught that God is all-powerful, good, and loving. 

Why pray? 

First of all, because God commands it. Philippians 4:6-7 urges us to run to prayer whenever we have a request, or whenever there’s a situation that causes unrest in us. God calls us to thank Him, talk to Him, petition Him, and in turn we can enjoy an unexplainable, wonderous peace, knowing that He is in control, and not us. Also looking at the life of Jesus we see He prayed often, and asked others to pray for Him. If Jesus needed prayer as part of His life, then we certainly do too. 

Second, God hears and responds to prayer. Prayer is a way to communicate with God and build a relationship with Him. He promises in the Bible over and over again that He hears us; here’s just one example: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).  

“Wait up,” you might be thinking, “we have what we asked of him? What about all the pain and death and suffering mentioned earlier?! I’ve prayed for a lot of that stuff to be taken away and it hasn’t. It’s not as simple as that, and you know it!” 

Exactly right, astute reader. While we don’t have all the answers to why God allows pain, illness, or tragedy to strike, we know that ultimately, because of who He is, all of that WILL be taken away. Maybe not right now, but God asks us to keep faith that He, as the ultimate Healer, will heal all. And sometimes, He does heal right NOW, according to His will. That’s what we call a miracle.

So, we pray because God brings about His own will on earth through our prayers! That’s just how He wanted it. He is not a dictator who acts without anyone’s consent. He invites us to participate with him in doing His will through prayer. All he asks is to have faith that He will do what we ask.

Prayer requires faith. 

When I needed to see a miracle most in my life, I had no faith. Five years ago, I lost touch with God entirely, and there wasn’t a drop of joy left in my soul when I got a call at work. Mom, who was suffering from severe depression, was in critical condition in the ER. That news, on top of the vast emptiness already gnawing me from the inside out, was just too much. 

I don’t remember much besides hyperventilating, pacing, crying, and screaming to God that it wasn’t fair and she didn’t deserve this. After five long, excruciating hours of waiting in the ER, we were brought into a room with the doctor, who offered no hope that Mom would live. 

I started shaking and my mind was just a blur. 

The anxieties and fears of my heart and mind, though all-consuming, were not too big for God. 

Despite my utter lack of faith at that point in my life, I witnessed dozens and dozens of people pouring into that ER waiting room to pray for Mom. I felt numb, just going through the motions of praying because I didn’t know what else to do.

Still, I was stunned at the fervency and faith by which these many strangers prayed aloud for Mom. They were asking for the unthinkable; a miracle. These strangers knew what I didn’t yet know, 

God partners with our faith in prayer.

He works powerfully through our faith in who He is and what He does. My own soul longed to participate in this beautiful phenomenon. I witnessed it that night from the outside, jealous of the faith that I saw pouring out of these generous stranger souls. No effort of my own will could muster up faith in the moment I needed it. I had to rely on others’ faith for this miracle. 

Prayer makes a difference. However, please don’t misunderstand; prayer is powerful because of God’s power, not our own. Again, it’s our faith that makes a difference. I think this is what Jesus meant when He said faith moves mountains (Matthew 17:20).  

2 Corinthians 1:9-11 talks about the power of prayer, “Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.”

Through the experience of that terrifying night, I learned that prayer has the power to bring someone from the door of death to deliverance. The “prayers of many” made a difference for Mom. The next day she awoke, and was taken off her ventilator. She came home from the hospital about six weeks later. She made a truly miraculous, full recovery and today is doing better mentally and emotionally than ever before. 

Just as God delivered Paul from this dire situation of deadly peril, God delivered Mom, and brought her from death to life. Even the doctors admitted that it was a “miracle” that she had not only survived, but suffered no lasting damage.

Prayer is powerful. 

Since seeing Mom’s miracle, my faith grew. My ability to believe in prayer was restored, and today I fully believe in healing miracles. It was a process, not an instant jolt of faith, but I couldn’t deny seeing first hand that God is able. I no longer take for granted that I get to take part of God’s healing work on earth through prayer. If you need to see a miracle of healing, take heart! Seek God and He promises you will find Him. “He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea” (Psalm 102:17).

He is looking for us to have confidence in Him, and the character He has revealed to us as life-giver, healer, and redeemer. And that’s exactly what a mighty prayer army that came out of nowhere did for Mom and our family, right there in the ER waiting room.

God is a God of miracles.

If you have read this post, know that you’ve already been prayed for. God hears you. Please send me an email if you have specific prayer requests; I’d love to pray for you. 

“‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:22-24).

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Dealing with Pride

“what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.    

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay. 

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.  

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29). 

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride. 

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.    

Sin 

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin. 

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him. 

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.  

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so. 

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.  

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of. 

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus. 

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14). 

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3 Things to Keep in Mind During the Holidays

Honestly, I haven’t been in a very thankful mood lately, even though Thanksgiving was just last week. For me, Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season, which tends to come with a lot of responsibilities. All of a sudden, my mind is always on the next thing and in that state it’s difficult to appreciate what I already have, or what it is I’ve been able to accomplish. Instead, I tend to rush right into the next thing without a pause to enjoy the moment, or the people around me. 

Also, maybe you’re like me and right around Thanksgiving you start taking inventory of the year and your life in general. A new year isn’t far ahead, and the days are short–and broodingly dark. Perhaps you start thinking about how your year has gone and the highs and the lows you’ve experienced. You start the annual process of pinpointing what you’re most thankful for and try to focus on the positive. 

This Thanksgiving, with not just a new year but a new decade approaching, it was just hard for me to get into a grateful mood. I kept thinking about all the things I have left to do before the new year starts. Anxiety and overwhelm set in and wouldn’t budge. Meanwhile I had about 20 things on my to-do list waiting. 

Even so, I thought, “What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like such a grinch; I mean it’s not even Christmas time yet?” 

My attitude made me–not really ungrateful–but calculated and choreographed, generally stressed and distracted. Dare I say it but I believe it’s impossible to enjoy the holiday or to love people around us in this state. Thankfully (pun intended), there is a better way. In hindsight, I discovered there are three things I could have prioritized above all the items on my to-do list that could have helped to make this holiday better and less stressful. I wanted to share these things with you hoping that they might help make the holidays still yet to come a little brighter.  

1. Being present requires slowing down. 

This sounds so simple, and it is. But it’s difficult to put into practice, especially in a busy season like the holiday season. We all want to be present. We all want to love the people around us well. We all want to enjoy the moments we have. However, the first step to doing that is to actually slow down. So, instead of tackling the next thing on my to-do list with the mindset of just getting to the “good part” of being done, I could have stopped to appreciate what I had already accomplished. Given myself a high five. Made some tea and enjoyed the moment for just 10 minutes. Then, back in touch with the present, maybe then I could start on that next line item. The trick though is to focus on what’s good right now. How often do we do this in the rest of the year? Maybe it’s fairly easy for most of my enneagram type 1s out there, but for me, it’s a struggle to stay present. Friends, it’s worth whatever it takes for you to slow down so that being present is possible. 


2. Prayer is more important than preparation. 

Though preparation for the holiday–cooking, cleaning, gift buying and wrapping, card sending, shopping, etc. can easily take top importance in our minds, prayer can’t be an afterthought. I mean, it can, but that’s what we want to avoid. Prayer often gets bumped down to the very end of the day when I’m too tired to have an honest, healing, helpful conversation with God. This happened to me big time this Thanksgiving; full disclosure. I tried to just push through and get to the part where I could enjoy the holiday, only to find I was so stressed and emotions had been so bottled up, that I struggled to enjoy it. And the worst part was that God felt far away, because I hadn’t been prioritizing prayer. Friends, prayer is the most important thing, in every season. All the preparation in the world, the best food, the best gifts, the cleanest house–it doesn’t mean anything. Connecting with God is everything. Prayer can give rest to a weary soul, and can restore a hurried heart. All of life flows from prayer. Don’t bump prayer for anything else; it’s the lifeline we need. 

3. There are consequences for going on your own strength. 

Jeremiah warns that there are consequences for not turning to the Lord, and His will. I didn’t go on my own strength intentionally; it just happened. I pressed forward in what seemingly needed to be done. Why did I need to pray about going to the market to buy green beans? Oh, but I did ya’ll. Trying to get through on my own strength had a tremendous cost. One day instead of doing what I had planned, I was feeling so down and dark emotionally from the weight of obligation that all I could do was go find a quiet place outdoors to walk and talk to God. I had no strength left anymore to go on my own. There was a cost, a consequence, of not turning to the Lord first. There is significance in giving the Lord everything in our lives, down to the last green bean. Instead of waiting for a meltdown, dealing with life could have been easier if I had given each task over to the Lord in prayer before proceeding. Also I could have given them to God before saying yes to them in the first place. Did I really need to be doing this or that thing? Was it truly my job to do? Instead of asking these things, I had tried to just go forward and handle everything on my own. God warned me of the consequences when I read the passage from Jeremiah a couple of weeks ago. But I didn’t truly get it until after my walk and talk with God. It was so obvious, too; an, “Oh, that’s what He was talking about!” moment. Hindsight–it’s a great teacher.

Friends, for this holiday and all those to come, may we all slow down and walk at the pace Jesus modeled for us–taking the time to truly see one another, choosing what is best, and being present with Him as He is present with us. 

Luke 10:40-42: “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Further suggested reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer; The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer; To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer Part I

Prayer can sometimes be easy, but for me it’s incredibly difficult at times too. Jesus commanded us to pray (Matthew 5:44, 26:41). He even tells us how to pray (Matthew 6:6-7, 6:9), yet it can still elude us. Distractions of all kinds can so easily get in the way of communicating with God and truly acknowledging His presence. For me it usually takes intention and wholehearted attention to pray, which our fast-paced and often hurried culture does not easily accommodate in our schedules. Prayer is counter-cultural.

I find it fascinating how Jesus completely changed the way prayer was seen and practiced in the culture. He made it go from being something only done in the temple to actually making it go mobile with every believer. This shift happened so long ago in such a different culture that it’s easy to take it for granted, but keeping this in mind has been very helpful to me in thinking about prayer lately. Let’s dive into prayer a bit further, shall we?  

Struggling with Prayer 

For several years of my adult life, I couldn’t pray. Praying was something I had done ever since I can remember growing up. I would pray almost every night and found the prayers prayed in church such as the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostle’s Creed beautiful and meaningful at a young age. Fast forward and I began following my own way, without consulting the Lord much beyond asking, “please help this thing I want to happen work out.” When I got around to praying, the only way I can describe the experience is that my prayers “bounced back.” Like sending an undeliverable email. My words went nowhere and seemed ridiculous as they reverberated back to me. Looking back now, I realize my heart wasn’t in those prayers because I didn’t trust God and wasn’t interested in learning His will. I only thought about my own. At the time though I just didn’t understand; God should hear my prayers no matter what, right?

Digging a bit further in the Bible, I’m not the only one who has felt like their prayers weren’t heard. David wrote, “...my prayers returned to me unanswered…” (Psalm 35:13). Sounds very familiar. But instead of pressing in and seeking God out, I walked away. I stopped trying to pray altogether. I hadn’t embraced the Spirit or the Truth (John 4:23) that is essential for aligning with His will, and again all I was really doing was asking for my own will to work out. I got so far down my own path that it took awhile for me to become open to being found by Him again after getting away from the Truth. When I finally realized I was surrounded by His kindness and mercy, that He never had and never will give up on me, I was simply in awe.  Suddenly, I really, REALLY wanted to talk to God. I became keenly curious about my problems with prayer and started to seek answers.

A Brief History of Prayer 

I’ve freshly rediscovered that prayer used to be associated with a physical location in Jewish culture. The temple in Jerusalem was thought to be the only proper place to pray because it housed the presence of God. Think about that for just a moment: there was a time when people had to travel to a specific place to talk to God! How much worse would traffic be today, am I right? Jesus ushered in a new age of prayer by sending the Holy Spirit to us. The temple of God no longer confined to a physical place, He now dwells within every believer. Jesus gave us the ability to pray from anywhere. We ourselves collectively embody the temple of God, and can now pray anywhere we go, for the Holy Spirit goes with us! 

When Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, He explained this, “...a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem” (John 4:21). Jesus told her about the change in our human interaction with God to be brought about by the Holy Spirit, “the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:23b-24). 

I believe this is the key to the prayer woes I described. I crowded the Holy Spirit out, so how could I be “in the Spirit?” I didn’t trust Him because I didn’t know Him well enough. I didn’t understand the nature of or the history of humanity’s connection to God. And consequently, I didn’t know the Truth about who Jesus is. But God didn’t give up on me, and if you feel this way today, know He hasn’t given up on you either. He can lead us out of the worst despair and into a new place cognitively and emotionally where we can trust Him. Transformation and renewal is possible (Romans 12:2). I know this because prayer miraculously was restored to me, along with many other gifts; joy, hope, peace, and trust, when I fully accepted Jesus.

Paul worked to knit the knowledge of the Holy Spirit into the early church. He spent time writing about the Holy Spirit’s role in the new temple of God within each believer, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit” (Ephesians 2:19-21). I find this a beautiful way to paint the church which has been helpful to hold onto in prayer.

Make no mistake, prayer is not always easy for me, even still. I must constantly remind myself of the Truth, and still constantly remind myself of why I trust Him. Reading Scripture that speaks of His character, reading His promises, reminding myself of who He is and the restoration He continually brings as we walk with Him helps strengthen my desire to pray. Again, it takes intention to connect with the One who loves unconditionally. Reminding ourselves of the depth of His love and grace, even while still sinners (Romans 5:8), makes prayer a natural response to this love. Remembering the Truth, and seeing it fresh every day is the tough part. Friends, if you struggle with prayer I encourage you to seek the Spirit and the Truth. It was key for me in finding a prayer life that was more meaningful, powerful, and God-centered instead of me-centered. May we all be restored and refreshed in prayer as we run and endure this race of life. 

Jesus prayed for us 

We can easily rush past this, but our Bibles actually say that Jesus prayed for us. Not only that, He is still currently praying for us! Jesus prayed for every believer while He was living on the earth, “‘My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message” (John 17:20). That’s us, the ones who will believe. And our Bibles also say that in heaven, even today, Jesus continually intercedes for us in prayer, “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). How humbling that Jesus is praying for us! What a beautiful promise this is, His love and saving work extending on, far beyond just His time on earth. May we be encouraged to follow Jesus’ example and pray for each other in love. 

For my readers who made it this far and so kindly read my posts, know that I am praying for you. Please send me an email if you have specific prayer requests; I’d love to pray for you. 

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). 

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Sacred Reading

I’ve been wanting to get deeper in knowing and understanding God a lot more lately. The more I have learned the last few years, the more I want to learn. But, at the same time I can feel myself getting more and more addicted to my phone, my computer, and my TV. The tension can get maddening. Only when I choose to run to the Lord and shut out everything else do I find real rest from the constant barrage of noise. Making that decision and connecting with Him is not always easy though. Sometimes we may need a little help. 

I want to spend some time talking about the spiritual disciplines on this blog, meaning the practices that Christians have used for hundreds and hundreds of years to help them connect more deeply with God, His Word, and with themselves. I know, “disciplines” can sound boring and dull–they certainly did to me until I finally gave them a chance. I had to get fed up first. At some point I got fed up by this surface-deep world full of distractions, ever-ready to destroy deep connection and intimacy. Just one look at divorce rates and loneliness studies speak to lack of intimacy, the byproduct of our human brokenness. With everything around me pulling me away from intimacy with God, I suspect I’m not the only one who longs for depth of connection to God’s love and presence with us. We need connection, we were made for it, for Him. Now, I’m not saying I am great at spiritual disciplines by any means, because I’m definitely not. I’d still consider myself a beginner, but I want to share a few things that particularly help me tune out the noise and connect with God in hopes that maybe they could help you as well wherever you are in your spiritual journey, whether you’re a beginner to knowing Jesus or a lifelong follower of Jesus.  

The first time I learned about sacred reading, or lectio divina, was several years ago. It sounded way too fancy and complicated to me. But the more I learned, the more intrigued I was. The way I understand it now is a structured way to meditate on one passage of Scripture at a time. It’s a way we can converse with God through His Words in Scripture, as they command us to “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds…” (Deuteronomy 11:18). Sacred reading provides those who practice it with structured time and space to allow a passage to sink into our minds and hearts, allowing God room there to speak to us through the passage. Stick with me. It’s really not as mystical as it may sound.

The hardest part for me is starting. 

For me, it’s most helpful to start without any distractions. This is the part that is usually the hardest, because I have a tendency toward racing thoughts and, like many of us, an addiction to content like online videos and podcasts that I am constantly (and oftentimes poorly) managing. But, if I can get past the hurdles of a distracted mind, the rest of the process of sacred reading is incredibly helpful, convicting, humbling, and restorative in fresh and unexpected ways every time. 

God’s Word truly continues to speak to us, sometimes we just need some help. 

That’s where spiritual disciplines come in. Last year, I kept up the discipline for several months, but eventually it faded out of my daily routine. Since then I’ve started and stopped again over and over, but recently I’ve started back up full force, trying to practice daily and trying not to judge myself about missing a day here and there and just keep going. The important thing is showing up as often as we possibly can. 

Even if we’re distracted, even if we’re tired, even if we’re depressed–even there–God sees us and loves us right where we are.  

The practice of sacred reading can also be very powerful in a group setting, but most often I delve into the Word by myself. I’ll give you a picture of what it looks like to try this ancient, sacred practice that’s really quite simple. When I start, I pray first. I check in with God and tell Him what I’m feeling. Then I thank Him for His love and devote my time in the practice to Him. I pray for focus, wisdom, discernment, and an open mind and heart to what He is speaking to me. I ask Him to reveal the true meaning of the passage to me, and to show me what my responsibility is upon receiving His Word. Then, I will choose a passage of Scripture that I want to read. It could be one verse or several, but before I begin I usually will make sure it’s something I won’t mind reading more than once. Sometimes I don’t skim through it first and just start reading where I feel prompted to read; wisdom and truth can come from reading any passage in the Word. 

Then I’ll read the passage through completely, once or twice, slowly. Then I’ll pause and jot down any notes of things I noticed, have questions about, or want to remember for the next pass. Then I’ll read it again even more slowly, taking notice of individual words, sometimes looking up different translations to gain more context for meaning, and I’ll take time to reflect on what I’m thinking, feeling, or sensing with my pen hovering over paper. I’ll write everything down about what I think a verse means, whether I think it’s “right” or not, just to get all my thoughts out. Then I’ll start responding to God, asking Him if I’m on the right track, and telling Him what Scripture has spoken to me. I’m a writer, and a visual learner, so I’m usually writing this prayer out. I end with thanks to Him for His Word, for interacting with me through it. Though it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like, ideally after that I’ll try to take a moment to be still, not saying anything, just resting in God’s presence. 

Friends, this is one of my absolute favorite ways to connect with God. My brain is so used to study and research, to structure, to thinking through everything, that the structure of lectio divina is enough to keep my brain occupied while my heart has time to commune with Jesus. It’s a wonderful balanced practice in that way, and I hope you are encouraged to give it a try! 

“When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty” (Jeremiah 15:16). 

For anyone who has been confused when they hear things like “talk with God” or “connect with God,” I understand. I totally was too. I was like, “Uh…you sound completely crazy, way too woo-woo spiritual, no way I’m even touching that,” only to go along with life and still feel disconnected from God and not know what to do about it. By showing you the process of sacred reading, a long-practiced discipline in Christianity, I hope it’s become a little less weird and a little more accessible to you. It’s another way to build your relationship with Jesus, to seek Jesus. This is just one way to get started. There are many spiritual practices and not everyone will connect with this one. That’s okay. I wanted to share it because it’s been exceptionally helpful to me and my relationship with Jesus. If sacred reading just isn’t your favorite, in the coming weeks I plan to share other spiritual disciplines as well. 

Don’t wait, start connecting with Jesus today, in whatever way you can! Coming to Him doesn’t have to be done any certain way or be prescribed by any person or any particular spiritual discipline. The important part is coming to Him. 

“Then he taught me, and he said to me, ‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live’” (Proverbs 4:4).

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10 Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Faith

I have shared how to handle being the one struggling with faith in my post, “What To Do When You Struggle with Faith.” In this post, I’ll be sharing ways that we can help someone who is going through this transformative and very painful process. I certainly don’t claim that these ten “dos and don’ts” will apply to everyone, but these include some helpful things people said or did for me. I also include a few things that now looking back on my experience are things I would have felt supported and loved by. People that are going through this process have a hard road, and they need the people who love them and who they trust to be there for them. It isn’t easy to do, and it can be easy to misstep. There is extra grace required (EGR) for people in this plight. Here are some ways we can try to do that for the amazing, brave, and growing truth-seekers in our lives!

1. Love first.

We’ve probably heard it more times than we can count, “love one another,” perhaps from John 13 or Romans 13, but what does it look like to love someone who is questioning everything, who is finding their way, and probably takes everything you say at arm’s length because that’s just where they are? It looks like honoring their process. It looks like showing an attitude of humility instead of judgment. It looks like being present with them in their pain, even if it’s only for just a moment. Loving them means letting them know they’re not alone to deal with the weight of the world, because that’s what it can feel like.  

What Not To Do: The Don’ts to Avoid

2. Do not give any advice or your opinions (unless asked). 

For crying out loud, do not suggest that they “just get out more” and “have more fun.” Believe me, they’ve thought of that and they’d probably love to do that if they could. There is no way someone can just forget about everything they are struggling with because their very way of being in the world is hanging in the balance. Even just walking out the door can present too many decisions to make without a solid framework. For me, I was concerned about hurting other people in the process. I was concerned about misleading them into thinking I was a certain way when really I was just acting like I thought I should act; I wasn’t being myself. Not only does advising or suggesting anything (before you’ve really, thoroughly heard them out) come across as dismissive of their feelings and the vulnerability they’ve shared with you, but this is also a clear sign that you haven’t really had compassion for their situation. Show compassion at all times for their struggle, even if it’s never been your own, and you can’t go too wrong. 

3. Recognize that while “It’s going to be okay,” might be a great catch-all phrase to say in many other situations where someone is struggling, this might not be the one in which to use it. This is probably not going to be a comforting or helpful thing to say here. There is a difference though between saying it after you’ve explained Biblical Truth to them in a way that encourages them and offers the hope and love of Jesus, and saying it after they’ve expressed their broken heart to you. If the latter, steer clear of this overused, one-size-fits-all phrase. It can easily sound dismissive to the vulnerable ears of someone in the form of an existential crisis. Though you might be trying to love and encourage them by saying this, it actually might be hurtful to them. 

4. Do not make light of the struggle they’ve shared with you. 

If you are privileged enough to have someone share their faith struggle with you, congratulations. You are (most likely) a safe person to them; this is a privilege. Take that seriously. If you don’t know something that they want to know, don’t pretend you do. Be honest and let them know you’ll look into it for them, and actually follow up on it. Don’t make light of something you don’t understand in this scenario because what you say will probably be taken seriously in some aspect. Don’t derail what they are probably inwardly exhausted by from the process of sharing with you. Keep an attitude that honors the weight of the person’s soul struggle. Honor their process, and feel honored that they are even willing to be around you when all they probably want to do is go be alone. 

5. Do not hide or downplay your own faith. 

Strong faith is encouraging to anyone seeking it. It is rare to find great faith. When I did, I was fascinated by it, astounded, even. I wanted to understand it, I wanted to understand how people could be so sure of anything. Just because someone else isn’t sure about their own faith doesn’t mean you have to hide your own to try to relate to them. Faith is a beautiful, powerful thing that can bring hope and light to someone’s feeling of hopelessness. If the opportunity comes, share your testimony with them. Share why you have hope and faith in Jesus. Don’t preach at them, but do share your story. Your story when told in a loving way can go way farther than the reaches of an internet article on faith or an inspirational quote. Let them know their pain is valid. Let them know how courageous they are to ask challenging questions about life in order to discover the truth. It may be the inspiration they need to keep going.

What To Do: The Dos

6. Listen to them.

Though someone might share something very real and personal with us about their faith, that doesn’t always mean they feel heard by us in turn. To really listen to someone is actually an incredibly rare skill that requires wisdom and practice. Cultivate the practice of really listening when someone shares something with you. Do you pay attention in a way that they feel heard and seen, or are you listening so that, in the next breath, you can feel heard and seen in your response? There is a big difference. Have the people who have opened up to you come back to you again to open up? If not, that might be a sign that your listening skills might not be ready yet for this job. Be more intentional about the art of listening to people’s hearts. Someone who needs support in their faith journey, if you’ve read this far, needs someone like you.  

7. Offer Truth if welcomed and if so, always speak the Truth in love.

Going back a bit to #3, Biblical Truth is the only sustaining anchor in a swirl like this one of faith. If you have the opportunity to speak Truth into the confusion, and love into the heartbreak, of this person, this is the most healing salve there is. Be sensitive to where this person is before you share. Are they in a pragmatic, logical frame of mind or a seeking, desiring to learn and understand frame of mind? Are they stoic and unexpressive, or are they fed up, frustrated, or sad? These things can serve as vital signs that can indicate what they are open to hearing. Always speak in love, but if you’re seeing their desire to learn and understand or if they’re showing emotional readiness for change, speak that Truth! 

8. Offer to be there for them (if you actually can/will be), and be supportive of their growth process.

Do not offer to be there for someone if you can’t. Just please don’t ever do that. This goes for any situation, really. It can be extra tough not to if you’re feeling a sense of obligation or guilt or pity in the moment, but in the long run it’s better if you’re honest. But if you can be there, if you can hang in there with the person, Lord bless you. Check on them every week or two and ask how they are physically (are they sleeping? eating?) and emotionally (are they feeling numb? shame? frustration?)*. Ask what faith-related or spiritual life questions they have been preoccupied with lately (because there’s always something). Just taking an interest is huge; it can be such a shameful thing to struggle with faith, so to bring that shame to light by allowing them to share it openly in this way with you may be a crucial part of shedding the burden. It’s also part of the growth process to dip one’s toes in the realm of being out in the world again. If they ask you to go with them to an event or any place where other people are around, try to help them feel welcomed there even if they are withdrawn. The fact that they are even there is most likely a huge step for them. Telling someone, “I believe you can do it!” can go a long, long way.  

*For anyone who is dealing with serious emotional problems, these questions should be handled by a mental health professional.

9. Pray.

It is important to remember to give the situation to God and recognize that ultimately that person and their heart is in His hands. Pray that they would grow in their faith journey. Pray that they would be able to come to a place of rest and healing in Jesus. Pray for yourself to be able to help them in the ways you can and to speak and show love to them. Pray that you would have the same compassion for them as God has, asking to see the person with His eyes.  

10. Show grace. 

It is so important to reflect the grace of God back to someone who either feels they’ve fallen from it or maybe never knew what grace was to begin with. Grace is getting what we don’t deserve, it’s unjust in the most beautiful way. It’s undeserved kindness, “…God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). God has been radically, astoundingly, magnificently kind to me, and to you. If we can show God’s grace to people who are suffering, we can offer the Truth and the hope that they are not lost. That they are not too far gone. That there is grace and peace in Jesus. If we can do that, we may even be privy to witness the beauty of a heart transformed.  

Further suggested reading: What To Do When You Struggle with Faith

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” -John 13:34

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another…” -Romans 13:8

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