God’s Presence in Prayer

Last week, I wrote about the Presence of God; today I want to share a bit about my first-hand experience of His Presence. Those of you who have been reading for a while know there was a time when I could not feel God’s Presence, and when I didn’t believe God was there at all.

I pray that what He’s brought me and been with me through is an encouragement to you in your own life with the King.

Desperate Prayer

Until something wakes us up to the reality that every day we are in desperate need of God, we may remain unaware of His constant Presence with us. Psalm 42 begins with a fervent desperation, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?” (Psalm 42:1-2). In the throes of sleep deprivation, I recently came to that desperate place. I realized once again that I had no where else to turn to for help but God.

Are you desperate for God today? Scripture says, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). When I got to that desperate state, I knew that God was my only hope and was ready to seek Him in prayer once again, with all of my heart. I’ve been there many times in my life, yet every time, God surprises me with something new. This last time, as I prayed about my struggles surrounding sleep, He answered my prayer with an awareness of His power.

God’s Power

There is great power in God’s Presence. God’s power is bigger than, and can overcome any obstacle that, we may be facing. In His Presence in prayer, I was able to let God’s power into a situation that felt too complicated for me to work out, “For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power” (1 Corinthians 4:20). With my sleep issue, there was nothing more I could reason out, I simply needed to be delivered by God’s power to move forward instead of staying stuck. When we are desperate for change in our lives, we can allow God’s Kingdom to come through His power working in and through us.

I talked to God about the ways I felt stuck. I prayed and I prayed, pouring out my heart to God. I told Him everything I was thinking about, frustrated with, thankful to Him for, and still hoping for. I prayed of my desperation. Sometimes, years ago when I would pray, I didn’t feel heard or seen by God at all. That empty void feeling is part of why I turned away from faith back then. I wasn’t desperate because I didn’t understand who God is, and that we depend on Him for everything. Thankfully, I have come to trust and believe now that He never leaves or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5).

This time recently in prayer, His Presence was tangible to me in a way that is hard to describe. I had an alertness, and a sense that I wasn’t simply alone, talking to myself, but to God, and that He heard and fully understood me. I had an unusual clarity of thought about what my spirit was experiencing. God’s Presence brought a beautiful order, not only in the spirit, but also in language so that I could articulate it for myself, to where my heart needed alignment with God’s. Scripture encourages us to be “praying in the Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 6:18, Jude 1:20). In this fervent prayer, I was given the power from God to be aware of and express my heart to God. I was given peace, and also power to affect change according to His good plans and will. That power has continued. Praying in this way was an incredible experience, and one that we all can have when we turn our hearts to seek Him.

What became clear during this time of prayer was that God cared about what I was saying, even though He already knew it. He wanted to hear from me, just like He wants to hear from you. We will never be as understood by anyone as fully as we are by God. He already knows our whole story, and knows exactly what we mean, no matter what we say or how we say it. He has been present with us through it all, whether we’ve been aware of it or not. Being seen and heard by God is a gift He wants to give to us, and one that comes uniquely in intentional, fervent prayer. If you are desperate today, don’t miss out on His gifts for you! Cry out to Him and He will answer with His power and Presence. He has for me, over and over again. The Truth is that we all desperately need Him every day.

He is available always, listening and caring for us through it all. May heaven open as we open our hearts to God. Amen.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Romans 15:13).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Characteristics of God: Presence of God

Have you ever felt the Presence of God? Maybe you’ve felt unusual calm or peace in a chaotic moment, or maybe you’ve gotten chills down your spine while the worship band played your favorite song among a group of believers. Maybe God’s Presence has met with you in a quiet moment at home with your Bible, or maybe He worked a miracle before your very eyes while you sensed standing on holy ground. The psalmist wrote, “Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?” (Psalm 139:7). God’s Presence is always with us.

There are many, many more, but today I’ll delve a little deeper into just six of the distinguishing characteristics of God’s Presence as part of the Characteristics of God series.

In the Lord’s Presence, nothing else matters. Nothing else is important or needs attending to. In His Presence we remember the Truth; that God takes care of us, provides for us, and sustains us; our own strength and efforts are futile. When we experience God’s Presence we are made more aware that we are completely engulfed by His grace and mercy as we take every single breath. It’s in His Presence our hearts can be transformed, and we can build intimacy with the God of the universe, the Alpha and the Omega. We are no longer tied to the things that weigh us down or make us afraid when we know that He is with us. In His Presence, we are free indeed.

1. God’s Presence Makes Us Free

The Presence of God is credited as having set the Israelite captives free from Egyptian slavery (Deuteronomy 4:37). His power, glory, and goodness can be experienced by us today, right now. Worshiping Him with all of our heart or praying in the Spirit are ways that can make His Presence more tangible to us. In the Bible, God’s Presence is also described as “the glory of the Lord” (eg: Exodus 16:10, Exodus 24:16, Leviticus 9:23, Numbers 16:19). He is omnipresent and always available to draw near to, and yet, it can be so easy for us sometimes to miss out on experiencing His Presence.

God’s Presence prompted Moses and Aaron to fall on their faces (Numbers 20:6). The appropriate response to God’s Presence, which is so good and so holy, evokes immediate worship and service to Him; “Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!” (Psalm 100:2). In loving, fearing, and serving the Lord we become truly free. By experiencing His Presence, we can better get to know Him well enough to love Him. The living God longs to be present with us; that is why Jesus came! Scripture tells us how Jesus made a Way for God’s wonderful Presence to be with us anytime, anywhere. That’s the Good News.

2. God’s Presence is Available at all Times for Everyone

God wants each one of us to be alive in His Presence for all of eternity; we wouldn’t be here if He didn’t! It’s in God’s Presence He can teach us His heart, overflowing with love and grace for us. The more we spend time in His Presence, the more we are able to align ourselves with His heart (desires, will, and emotions). In His Presence, we are better able to become people after God’s own heart.

There is peace and rest in knowing who we are to God, His loved and cherished children. God spoke to Moses about the rest that His Presence brings to His people: “And he said, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Exodus 33:14). Our souls can truly rest when we know we are cared for, loved, and protected. All this is freely available to us in God’s Presence.

3. God’s Presence Gives Us Rest

The joy that comes from experiencing God’s Presence is complete, and makes us unshakably joyful, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11). We need nothing more than God’s Presence. It provides all we need, and more. He Truly is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).


We were specially designed to be in God’s Presence, it’s part of who we were made to be! All of God’s work aligns with and works for us to be able to dwell with God. As God is our Creator, it naturally brings us gladness and joy to experience being with Him. Being in God’s Presence brings safety, wonder, delight, peace, and true, deep joy in our hearts and spirits. “For you make him most blessed forever; you make him glad with the joy of your presence” (Psalm 21:6).

4. God’s Presence Makes Us Joyful

It is a promise in Scripture that we will all see God’s glory (Isaiah 40:5). Jesus was in the glory of God’s Presence before the world existed, and He entered God’s Presence and was glorified again after He died on the cross (John 17:5). God’s Presence itself is glorious and brings about glorious things.

The Presence of God gives life to the dead and calls into existence things that do not exist (Romans 4:17). Scripture describes God’s Presence with the imagery of mountains quaking, idols trembling, and justice being the only thing that can be done when it is near (Isaiah 19:1, Isaiah 64:1-3, Lamentations 3:35). Glorious things happen because of and come from God’s Presence. We can better see God, His glorious nature, and the glorious things that come from Him when we experience His Presence.

5. God’s Presence is Where We Experience His Glory

Of we whose sins have been covered by the blood of Jesus, it is said, “Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat.” (Revelation 7:15-16).

In eternity, we are promised to not only be present at God’s throne, but also sheltered forevermore by His awesome Presence when we are in Christ. We won’t be subject to the suffering or pain of this world anymore in His eternal Presence. Instead, we will be sheltered by Him.

6. God’s Presence is a Shelter

Experiencing His Presence, as we can in worship, prayer, and in other ways, can be so refreshing to our souls because it returns us to our innate connection with Him. David sang, “Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me” (Psalm 51:11). God designed us and longs for us so much that He promised to fulfill our need to be in His Presence for eternity through Jesus.

God’s purposes and plans ultimately provide for us to experience His freeing, available, restful, joy-filled, glorious, sheltering Presence, and for Him to enjoy our presence too, for all of eternity. Amen.

For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf” (Hebrews 9:24).

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11).

Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago” (Acts 3:19-21).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Best Valentine’s Ever

Ten years ago this weekend, I had no idea that my journey with Jesus was about to take a meaningful turn. In 2016, on Friday the 13th right before Valentine’s Day, I was on a 4-hour drive to a concert with my sister and our friend.

That weekend, I drove through snow, even though I didn’t want to. I shared a room with other people, even though I didn’t want to. I prayed out loud, even though I didn’t want to. But I’m getting ahead of the story. It felt like I was starting a new life. Turns out, I really was.

We arrived safely through the snow to our hotel, and met with three of my sister’s friends, who I’d never met before. We all had tickets to see the Christian band, Kings Kaleidoscope, play later that evening. We did our nails together, got dressed in our concert best, and headed to the venue. After an amazing show and really a time of corporate worship where we got to stand right up front near the stage, we got back to the hotel and someone started prayer.

For the next hour or more, I was part of a prayer circle like nothing I had ever experienced before. There were heavy things being felt and carried by individuals in the group, many of those things were unknown to everyone, but each girl was prayed for uniquely in the Spirit with so much love. It was a night I don’t think I could ever forget. There was so much encouragement and a feeling of God’s Presence and Him carrying our burdens that it felt like I could be free in a way I hadn’t experienced before. Being supported in a community of women like that who were devoted to Jesus made a big impression on me, right at the time when I was starting to trust Jesus for myself again.

I experienced God’s love that Valentine’s weekend in community. That prayer circle was the church for me at a time when I wasn’t sure about attending to a church again. Those women set me on a trajectory of prayer that I’ll always be grateful for. Every single one was younger than me and had so much passion and wisdom in the Spirit as they sought Jesus. It put me in a state of awe and I was humbled to be a part of it. They gave me courage to pray aloud, to encourage them in return, and to love people in a way that I had been afraid to. It opened me up to a new realm of possibility in my faith and role in community.

Here at the ten year anniversary of that beautiful weekend, I am so grateful that God gave me that experience with other believers at that time in my faith journey, and allowed me to know beyond a doubt that He was present among us. I experienced in the most potent way, maybe to this day, the truth of the verse: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” (Matthew 18:20).

So friends, let’s seek the Lord for our friends in the faith. For me, the love shown to me in that community of women was and is more precious than anything of this world. Let’s pray with our friends, not just for them. Being the church outside its walls stands the test of time. Ten years and counting.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

The Body of Christ

This past week I have been dealing with a neck and back injury. It’s disrupted both sleep, and this week’s blog post. All that to say, this one will be brief.

There is a need to each other to lift each other up in prayer, perhaps more than we realize. Ephesians 6 says, “and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” (Ephesians 6:17-18). When someone I knew heard about my injury, they didn’t hesitate to pray, even though I hadn’t asked them to. Prayer for one another is just one powerful way we can follow Jesus’ commandment to love one another (John 13:34). The body of Christ, the church, is a powerful, connecting force in the spirit. When it operates in the love of Jesus, it is truly a beautiful, healing place.

None of us can do life alone. We need each other not just for prayer, but for care, encouragement, and covering. Having a hurt back has turned into a surprising blessing to me, because I witnessed the body of Christ address my acute need in prayer. It blessed me to receive that love and care. It blessed me to see obedience to the Word of God. It blessed me to realize how blessed I am to be part of the body of Christ.

Without the seemingly frustrating trial of my injury, I would likely have not appreciated where God has placed me quite as much. God can use anything to get our attention back on Him, on His work and His plan. Prayer matters. Prayer is a powerful form of care and love. It was a blessing to be reminded of the goodness to be found in the body of Christ. Today, I am thankful to be feeling much better, and that the pain has subsided considerably.

May we be attentive to the goodness of the body of Christ, even in a world that points out all the ways it has failed. And may we pursue love (1 Corinthians 14:1) as we journey with Jesus together, never failing to cover and intercede for each other in prayer. Amen.

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many” (1 Corinthians 12:12-14).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

I Have To . . . Pray

I spent most of my life doing what I was asked to do, for the most part. Without giving it too much thought, I’d hear there was a need, and try to deliver. I’d show up at places I didn’t necessarily want to be out of obligation or appearance, or I’d be quick to say yes when there was a hint of disappointment if I’d first said no. I’d talk about things I didn’t really want to talk about because that’s where the conversation went and I didn’t want to upset anyone by shutting them down.

But the Lord has been challenging this default setting in my brain, which was deeply rooted in a fear of man. Is my giving in to do something I don’t feel right about a good challenge or something I’m simply not called to do? It’s becoming clearer to me lately that the best way to handle these points of decision is to pause and pray–about every single thing, every single time. This has been an exercise both of re-wiring my own mindless default to be intentional, and of trust that I will hear from the Lord when I ask for this guidance. While it is a needed work, it’s still a work in progress.

In the book of Nehemiah, we read that this exile felt passionately when hearing about the destruction in Jerusalem, his former home. There is this staggering verse, “Then the king said to me, ‘What are you requesting?’ So I prayed to the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 2:4). I don’t know about you, but that verse hit me between the eyes. It casually documents how Nehemiah dialoged with God in the middle of a conversation!

Nehemiah, even though he feels strongly about the situation, doesn’t act out of impulse. Even in the moment of speaking to a foreign king who could easily accuse him of treason and punish or kill him, Nehemiah prays to God for how to answer the king’s question in that very moment. He had spent days in prayer and fasting before having that conversation with the king. But in the moment, he again seeks the Lord’s input on how to gain the king’s favor. He keeps the dialog with God that he’d started days before going and speaks to the king, even though he admits that he was “very much afraid” (Nehemiah 2:2).

God was with Nehemiah, and blessed his mission. In preserving this story for us in His Word, I hear God inviting us all to pray, listening to Him, seeking His will. He invites us to follow His prompting, as Nehemiah did, instead of going with what we may “feel” is right. To ask ourselves how something will affect our relationship with God can be helpful in knowing what is right for us. In praying and receiving wisdom and strength from the Holy Spirit we can know what is ours to do, or what God has ordained for us to accomplish according to His will. We don’t have to say yes to things that aren’t from God. In fact, those things can and will distract from His will for us if we let them. We all have a unique calling and purpose in Jesus, but it’s in the everyday moments, and in-the-moment conversations, that hold the opportunities for living it out.

Nehemiah teaches us that both prayer in earnest and preparation, and prayer in the moment are important. Before I do anything, I have to pray. While I am in the middle of my mission, I have to pray. Without God’s guidance, I can’t do a single thing that’s right. Believe me, I’ve tried. These are dark days, and the light of Jesus is desperately needed. Prayer puts us in the presence of God. The more we are in His presence, the more we are able to reflect His light in this world. Let us remember with intention and purpose to pray, both in the long, extended quiet, and in the moment of action. Let us remember that deep relationship with God invites us to both. May God help us all to deepen our walk and relationship with Him!

I invite you to pray the Lord’s Prayer with me today:

…’Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.’ And he said to them, ‘When you pray, say:

Father, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread,

and forgive us our sins,

for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

And lead us not into temptation‘” (Luke 11:1b-4).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Getting What You Pray For

We expect to get what we pay for. But what about what we pray for? I’ve questioned if something I am praying for is really God’s will, but many times I actively tried not to think about it that way and just prayed for what I wanted or needed. Knowing what God wanted seemed far too mysterious, and was something I would ignore out of frustration. I had no idea how to tell or how to walk in step with God’s will when it came to my everyday life, and it seemed like an impossible ask, and task.

Lately, I’ve come to understand this differently, in a way that removed so much more of the mystery than I ever thought possible.

Praying for My Will

The needs and wants that come up hourly in my own life and in the lives of those close to me seem infinite in number. There are needs to be met at every turn for every person, and it doesn’t take long to realize that we ourselves aren’t equipped to fill them all. We need God every day, hour, and minute. It is natural to have a need or want and pray for it to happen. It’s what I was taught to do, and there’s a good place for it. As an example, for many years I prayed that I would be able to go to bed and actually fall asleep earlier.

But as much as I wouldn’t have believed it or wanted to hear it, I didn’t know what I actually needed or wanted. I didn’t understand how God designed us first for relationship with Him and how much in our lives is a result of this Truth. I knew the sleep trouble indicated a misalignment somewhere in my life, but I didn’t realize that staying up too late was actually a symptom of not prioritizing my relationship with Jesus, or how He was calling me to live. I had prayed for the symptom, but completely missed the root cause.

God’s Restoration

Once I saw the connection of everything to my relationship with Jesus, things didn’t feel so complicated. I simply had to run to Him. I’ve had to learn many things “the hard way,” by not getting what I pray for. Those prayers weren’t focused on what was best in the long run, but what I thought would be good in the present. But God has worked in my heart to restore what I thought at one time was broken trust. God began a needed work of restoration in me that I couldn’t accomplish on my own. I prayed for it, and this time, He answered. He showed me that His will truly is what is best in the long run. Scripture clearly shows time and time again that it is God’s will to restore connection with the hearts that humbly bring themselves to Him. It’s who He is, part of His loving and faithful character. He will restore connection with us whenever we earnestly ask for it, because that is His will.

In this restoration of connection, God transformed my heart. He helped me see how things I believe, say, or do, especially when related to myself, affect my relationship with Him. He showed me through His Word and Spirit that relationship with Him is the most precious and important thing, both to me and to Him. His will is always barrier-free relationship with each one of us. Instead of simply praying for temporal improvements, I began to ask, does this affect my relationship with God? That question has changed everything.

He doesn’t want anything to come between Himself and me or you; He is faithful to help us keep our connection strong when we ask. Through His transformative work in my heart, I came to know that prayers aligned with restoring and keeping and growing trusting, relational connection with us will be answered. It has led to even deeper prayer, with a profound sense of knowing that God has already supplied every real need (Philippians 4:19), before we even ask!

Praying for God’s Will

I mentioned earlier about praying for perceived needs according to what we want or will. But things can get more complicated than that. What if it’s God’s will that a need remains unmet right now? What if His greater plan involves that need going unmet?

Jesus gave us an amazing example of praying for God’s will in the garden of Gethsemane, “And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done‘” (Luke 22:41-42). He knew the Father’s will, but in this prayer He lets the Father know His own will, which is quite opposite. But then, Jesus says something really extraordinary. Jesus displays ultimate humility, knowing and acknowledging that God’s will is sovereign. No matter how much Jesus’ own will tried to resist against it, He had decided long before praying that prayer that God’s will would always be His choice because of His trusting relationship with Him. He had no doubt about the Father’s character of ultimate love and goodness toward Him.

I believe God is inviting us today to decide, like Jesus had done, that He is sovereign in our lives, to humble ourselves in trust, and to choose relationship with Him over our own will. God’s will is restored relationship with Him, and in that place of safety there is freedom and life to be found, sweeter than any life we could attempt to build from our own will.

When we pray for God’s will, we get what we pray for. It may not be immediate, or the way we expect, but restored and strengthened relationship with God is where all this, His plan, is heading. God is faithful and trustworthy to fulfill His will. May His will be done!

For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35).

If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority” (John 7:17).

And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:27).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Dad with a Capital D

Scripture tells us that Judas was in charge of the money for Jesus and His disciples (John 12:6, John 13:29). Money, thirty pieces of silver to be exact, ended up being his downfall when he traded Jesus for it (Matthew 26:14-16). Jesus taught by example, and I have to believe Judas was put in charge of the money for good reason, even though he was a thief (John 12:6), to teach him, and to help him overcome his greed and the way it tempted him. By His life and work, Jesus showed Judas that life was more than money, and that God provides for every need. Jesus taught this to Judas regardless of the choices he would end up making. 

Similarly, Jesus gave his three closest disciples the task to watch and pray (Mark 14:34) while He was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, awaiting capture. His command to watch and pray includes the reason, “so that you will not fall into temptation” (Mark 14:38), which struck me as odd the first few times I read it recently. What temptation could they be facing as they were trying to be a comforting presence to Jesus? On one level, the temptation to sleep was very present, the gospel accounts make the point that the disciples there with Jesus did not stay awake. But Jesus seems to be pointing to a greater temptation than sleep, rather, the temptation to fall away and desert Him. This temptation is still very present today, and we are constantly being faced with life lessons about this, feeling the life tension this particular temptation affords.  

God may task us with the things that tempt us the most for our good.

These two very universal examples of greed and disloyalty to God can be great lessons to us from our ever-present and patient yet good, Dad. What tempts you the most? Perhaps you’re already in a position where you are facing temptation with a capital “T” every day. This is what the disciples faced too. They were threatened with death for following Jesus, so the temptation to fall away was very strong. But Jesus knew that in order to love Him and love their neighbors, they would have to be free of their temptations to sin. He knew that surrendering their temptations to God was the way to avoid giving in to them. 

If we are struggling with temptation, we have the opportunity to face it with Christ and accept the freedom He provides from it. Trials such as these actually demonstrate God’s love for us and His work for the best for us, just as Jesus wanted the best for His disciples. He gave them all every opportunity to believe in Him and repent, even Judas, to the very end of his life.

Temptation that has not been faced still threatens to keep us captive, and Jesus told the disciples to face it head-on with God in prayer. God doesn’t want captivity for us, He wants the freedom which we were made for.

God’s lessons aren’t easy, but they teach us to be free. 

When we have need that only God can fill, but go to something else to be satisfied, we are choosing to be a slave to that something else. We give in to the temptation of idolatry when we run to anything but God to fulfill us. God does not desire us to be free of needs or desires, He gave them to us! Instead, He wants us to come to Him to fulfill them, not to anything else. Only He can fulfill all our needs and provide us with lasting satisfaction. Once we come to trust that this is true, we stop explaining it away, and we stop making excuses for our need for safety, security, power, control, love, and affection. This allows us to step into the fullness of Christ, but also into the fullness of ourselves, who we truly are. Letting go of all our very real and present needs and giving them to God instead of trying to meet them ourselves is key. This is where true freedom is for us as human beings.

Many people live their whole lives holding back who they truly are in order to get their needs met by temporal people or things. This is not how God intended us to live. Temptation is the refining fire, the lesson to learn, the test to prove how free we truly are–how fully and deeply we depend on God alone.

Not denying the truth anymore opens us up to being fully ourselves and fully alive.

James, the younger brother of Jesus, wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). These tests and trials he refers to are the temptations Jesus dealt with in his friends, things like greed and disloyalty to God out of fear. 

For many of us, coming to maturity in our freedom in Christ is a lifelong journey. But what if we could start living this way today? What if we lived as if just today, the veil was torn right before our eyes and we enjoyed deep intimacy with God in His presence for the first time? How much more free might we be today with our love for others? How much less would we concern ourselves with money when we are fully aware of how wealthy we are in His abundant presence? Would we give to and serve our neighbors differently? Love our friends and family differently? Be devoted to God on a new level? Let’s take the first step toward this life today, in faith that God will provide all we need to satisfy our desires.

God wants nothing to hold us back from abundant life with Him.

Friends, the Kingdom of Heaven is here on earth right now in us; we can start living as our fullest selves here and now. God desires to help us do that through the Holy Spirit. Are there needs we don’t we trust He can meet? Fears we don’t think He can’t soothe? Problems we don’t think He can solve? I encourage you to join me as I too wrestle with these questions in the presence of God. Today we can see what the disciples’ lessons were, but can we see and learn from our own? Let’s allow God to speak truth and life to all the things that we believe hinder our path to enjoying freedom in His present Kingdom. 

God created us to shape culture, to rule the earth with justice and mercy. When Jesus reigns in our hearts, we bring His Kingdom culture here and now. May we lay the hardest parts of our hearts, our ugliest sins, before the foot of the cross, and allow Jesus to redeem them all. Jesus already paid the price for them. He is the ever-patient Dad to us, never forcing even His love and presence, upon us. He loves you and never gives up on His design for your freedom. Today may we let Him love us despite it all. All truly is forgiven.  

Further Reading:

Garden City by John Mark Comer

The Welcoming Prayer by Thomas Keating

Dealing with Pride

what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.    

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay. 

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.  

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29). 

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride. 

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.    

Sin 

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin. 

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him. 

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.  

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so. 

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.  

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of. 

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus. 

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14). 

3 Things to Keep in Mind During the Holidays

Honestly, I haven’t been in a very thankful mood lately, even though Thanksgiving was just last week. For me, Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season, which tends to come with a lot of responsibilities. All of a sudden, my mind is always on the next thing and in that state it’s difficult to appreciate what I already have, or what it is I’ve been able to accomplish. Instead, I tend to rush right into the next thing without a pause to enjoy the moment, or the people around me. 

Also, maybe you’re like me and right around Thanksgiving you start taking inventory of the year and your life in general. A new year isn’t far ahead, and the days are short–and broodingly dark. Perhaps you start thinking about how your year has gone and the highs and the lows you’ve experienced. You start the annual process of pinpointing what you’re most thankful for and try to focus on the positive. 

This Thanksgiving, with not just a new year but a new decade approaching, it was just hard for me to get into a grateful mood. I kept thinking about all the things I have left to do before the new year starts. Anxiety and overwhelm set in and wouldn’t budge. Meanwhile I had about 20 things on my to-do list waiting. 

Even so, I thought, “What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like such a grinch; I mean it’s not even Christmas time yet?” 

My attitude made me–not really ungrateful–but calculated and choreographed, generally stressed and distracted. Dare I say it but I believe it’s impossible to enjoy the holiday or to love people around us in this state. Thankfully (pun intended), there is a better way. In hindsight, I discovered there are three things I could have prioritized above all the items on my to-do list that could have helped to make this holiday better and less stressful. I wanted to share these things with you hoping that they might help make the holidays still yet to come a little brighter.  

1. Being present requires slowing down. 

This sounds so simple, and it is. But it’s difficult to put into practice, especially in a busy season like the holiday season. We all want to be present. We all want to love the people around us well. We all want to enjoy the moments we have. However, the first step to doing that is to actually slow down. So, instead of tackling the next thing on my to-do list with the mindset of just getting to the “good part” of being done, I could have stopped to appreciate what I had already accomplished. Given myself a high five. Made some tea and enjoyed the moment for just 10 minutes. Then, back in touch with the present, maybe then I could start on that next line item. The trick though is to focus on what’s good right now. How often do we do this in the rest of the year? Maybe it’s fairly easy for most of my enneagram type 1s out there, but for me, it’s a struggle to stay present. Friends, it’s worth whatever it takes for you to slow down so that being present is possible. 


2. Prayer is more important than preparation. 

Though preparation for the holiday–cooking, cleaning, gift buying and wrapping, card sending, shopping, etc. can easily take top importance in our minds, prayer can’t be an afterthought. I mean, it can, but that’s what we want to avoid. Prayer often gets bumped down to the very end of the day when I’m too tired to have an honest, healing, helpful conversation with God. This happened to me big time this Thanksgiving; full disclosure. I tried to just push through and get to the part where I could enjoy the holiday, only to find I was so stressed and emotions had been so bottled up, that I struggled to enjoy it. And the worst part was that God felt far away, because I hadn’t been prioritizing prayer. Friends, prayer is the most important thing, in every season. All the preparation in the world, the best food, the best gifts, the cleanest house–it doesn’t mean anything. Connecting with God is everything. Prayer can give rest to a weary soul, and can restore a hurried heart. All of life flows from prayer. Don’t bump prayer for anything else; it’s the lifeline we need. 

3. There are consequences for going on your own strength. 

Jeremiah warns that there are consequences for not turning to the Lord, and His will. I didn’t go on my own strength intentionally; it just happened. I pressed forward in what seemingly needed to be done. Why did I need to pray about going to the market to buy green beans? Oh, but I did ya’ll. Trying to get through on my own strength had a tremendous cost. One day instead of doing what I had planned, I was feeling so down and dark emotionally from the weight of obligation that all I could do was go find a quiet place outdoors to walk and talk to God. I had no strength left anymore to go on my own. There was a cost, a consequence, of not turning to the Lord first. There is significance in giving the Lord everything in our lives, down to the last green bean. Instead of waiting for a meltdown, dealing with life could have been easier if I had given each task over to the Lord in prayer before proceeding. Also I could have given them to God before saying yes to them in the first place. Did I really need to be doing this or that thing? Was it truly my job to do? Instead of asking these things, I had tried to just go forward and handle everything on my own. God warned me of the consequences when I read the passage from Jeremiah a couple of weeks ago. But I didn’t truly get it until after my walk and talk with God. It was so obvious, too; an, “Oh, that’s what He was talking about!” moment. Hindsight–it’s a great teacher.

Friends, for this holiday and all those to come, may we all slow down and walk at the pace Jesus modeled for us–taking the time to truly see one another, choosing what is best, and being present with Him as He is present with us. 

Luke 10:40-42: “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Further suggested reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer; The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer; To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke

The Spiritual Disciplines: Prayer Part I

Prayer can sometimes be easy, but for me it’s incredibly difficult at times too. Jesus commanded us to pray (Matthew 5:44, 26:41). He even tells us how to pray (Matthew 6:6-7, 6:9), yet it can still elude us. Distractions of all kinds can so easily get in the way of communicating with God and truly acknowledging His presence. For me it usually takes intention and wholehearted attention to pray, which our fast-paced and often hurried culture does not easily accommodate in our schedules. Prayer is counter-cultural.

I find it fascinating how Jesus completely changed the way prayer was seen and practiced in the culture. He made it go from being something only done in the temple to actually making it go mobile with every believer. This shift happened so long ago in such a different culture that it’s easy to take it for granted, but keeping this in mind has been very helpful to me in thinking about prayer lately. Let’s dive into prayer a bit further, shall we?  

Struggling with Prayer 

For several years of my adult life, I couldn’t pray. Praying was something I had done ever since I can remember growing up. I would pray almost every night and found the prayers prayed in church such as the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostle’s Creed beautiful and meaningful at a young age. Fast forward and I began following my own way, without consulting the Lord much beyond asking, “please help this thing I want to happen work out.” When I got around to praying, the only way I can describe the experience is that my prayers “bounced back.” Like sending an undeliverable email. My words went nowhere and seemed ridiculous as they reverberated back to me. Looking back now, I realize my heart wasn’t in those prayers because I didn’t trust God and wasn’t interested in learning His will. I only thought about my own. At the time though I just didn’t understand; God should hear my prayers no matter what, right?

Digging a bit further in the Bible, I’m not the only one who has felt like their prayers weren’t heard. David wrote, “...my prayers returned to me unanswered…” (Psalm 35:13). Sounds very familiar. But instead of pressing in and seeking God out, I walked away. I stopped trying to pray altogether. I hadn’t embraced the Spirit or the Truth (John 4:23) that is essential for aligning with His will, and again all I was really doing was asking for my own will to work out. I got so far down my own path that it took awhile for me to become open to being found by Him again after getting away from the Truth. When I finally realized I was surrounded by His kindness and mercy, that He never had and never will give up on me, I was simply in awe.  Suddenly, I really, REALLY wanted to talk to God. I became keenly curious about my problems with prayer and started to seek answers.

A Brief History of Prayer 

I’ve freshly rediscovered that prayer used to be associated with a physical location in Jewish culture. The temple in Jerusalem was thought to be the only proper place to pray because it housed the presence of God. Think about that for just a moment: there was a time when people had to travel to a specific place to talk to God! How much worse would traffic be today, am I right? Jesus ushered in a new age of prayer by sending the Holy Spirit to us. The temple of God no longer confined to a physical place, He now dwells within every believer. Jesus gave us the ability to pray from anywhere. We ourselves collectively embody the temple of God, and can now pray anywhere we go, for the Holy Spirit goes with us! 

When Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, He explained this, “...a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem” (John 4:21). Jesus told her about the change in our human interaction with God to be brought about by the Holy Spirit, “the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (John 4:23b-24). 

I believe this is the key to the prayer woes I described. I crowded the Holy Spirit out, so how could I be “in the Spirit?” I didn’t trust Him because I didn’t know Him well enough. I didn’t understand the nature of or the history of humanity’s connection to God. And consequently, I didn’t know the Truth about who Jesus is. But God didn’t give up on me, and if you feel this way today, know He hasn’t given up on you either. He can lead us out of the worst despair and into a new place cognitively and emotionally where we can trust Him. Transformation and renewal is possible (Romans 12:2). I know this because prayer miraculously was restored to me, along with many other gifts; joy, hope, peace, and trust, when I fully accepted Jesus.

Paul worked to knit the knowledge of the Holy Spirit into the early church. He spent time writing about the Holy Spirit’s role in the new temple of God within each believer, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit” (Ephesians 2:19-21). I find this a beautiful way to paint the church which has been helpful to hold onto in prayer.

Make no mistake, prayer is not always easy for me, even still. I must constantly remind myself of the Truth, and still constantly remind myself of why I trust Him. Reading Scripture that speaks of His character, reading His promises, reminding myself of who He is and the restoration He continually brings as we walk with Him helps strengthen my desire to pray. Again, it takes intention to connect with the One who loves unconditionally. Reminding ourselves of the depth of His love and grace, even while still sinners (Romans 5:8), makes prayer a natural response to this love. Remembering the Truth, and seeing it fresh every day is the tough part. Friends, if you struggle with prayer I encourage you to seek the Spirit and the Truth. It was key for me in finding a prayer life that was more meaningful, powerful, and God-centered instead of me-centered. May we all be restored and refreshed in prayer as we run and endure this race of life. 

Jesus prayed for us 

We can easily rush past this, but our Bibles actually say that Jesus prayed for us. Not only that, He is still currently praying for us! Jesus prayed for every believer while He was living on the earth, “‘My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message” (John 17:20). That’s us, the ones who will believe. And our Bibles also say that in heaven, even today, Jesus continually intercedes for us in prayer, “Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). How humbling that Jesus is praying for us! What a beautiful promise this is, His love and saving work extending on, far beyond just His time on earth. May we be encouraged to follow Jesus’ example and pray for each other in love. 

For my readers who made it this far and so kindly read my posts, know that I am praying for you. Please send me an email if you have specific prayer requests; I’d love to pray for you. 

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple (1 Corinthians 3:16-17).