Self acceptance was never my strong suit. I focused much of my attention all my life on being “better;” self improvement was my favorite genre. Perfectionism ruled and ruined me. I knew I could never be perfect, but my actions told a different story. While I achieved, I was never content. I wanted to be better than I am at everything I cared about, like dance, academics, and yes, following Jesus.
When the initial passion wore off and these things inevitably became a box to check off my list, I’d get down on myself all the more. Sometimes I’d double down, sometimes I’d quit for months. The concept of following Jesus, living in close, trusting relationship with God, sounded great. I wanted to love God more than anything, and failed over and over. But perfectionism, or even self improvement, is fruitless when God isn’t asking it of us. It took time for me to learn that God really doesn’t expect us to be perfect.
I heard a line in a sermon recently that has been ringing True ever since: “Jesus didn’t come to make good people better, He came to make dead people alive.” All this pressure I tend to put on myself to be “better,” it is not the business of Jesus. He makes our souls, once dead to the bondage of sin, alive. There is so much to rejoice in with that! The Psalmist wrote, “For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life” (Psalm 56:13). That Jesus delivers us from death is worth meditating on, rather than our faults and shortcomings. Rather than my worrying about being “better,” I realized it was far better to focus on what Jesus has already done.
Jesus brought several people from literal death to life, including Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:22-43; Luke 8:41-56), and Lazarus (John 11:14-44). But His legitimacy as the Son of God and the legitimacy of everything He said during His three years of ministry was confirmed when He Himself died and came back to life. “He [Jesus] presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God” (Acts 1:3). Those who saw Jesus alive after He had died on the cross then later risked their lives to tell others what they had witnessed.
Today, Jesus is in the business of bringing people dead in sin (and soul) to life. He brings people like me and you back from this death every day. I was dead in bondage to sin, which kept me tied to striving, perfectionism, and self criticism. But Jesus made a way for me off of that road of self destruction and on a path with Him and for Him in the “light of life.” We still need to take up our cross daily (Matthew 16:24, Luke 9:23) to follow Jesus, but He set us free from death when He rose from the dead. That’s the good news. And we’re not just free, either, but victorious over death with Jesus. He shares His victorious life with us.
Halleluiah, Jesus is alive, and because of Him and His love for us, so are we!
“He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you” (Matthew 28:6-7).
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