Tag: Mind

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Freedom to Love

In my previous post, I wrote in depth about the pervasive force of fear, but ended on the idea that truth brings freedom, “… the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). My post 5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ goes into some of the practical details. Now I want to go into more depth about the idea of freedom, and why it’s so important. 

Freedom is all about Love.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Freedom in Christ points to freedom from the power of sin and death over us. But that’s not all; freedom was intended to give way to a culture of love.  

Somehow, the longer we are in the world, the more we seem to fall asleep to the fact that we are free. It becomes all too easy to only love those who love us back, and only love that which benefits us personally. As Jesus said, “what reward is there for that?” (Matthew 5:46 (NLT)). When we feel obligated to love, it is not love of our own free will. It is not love freely given, the kind of love God longs for us to have towards Him and toward others. Once we understand that in His great love Jesus has already set us free, everything can change.

Freedom is why I gave up everything to choose faith in Him—it’s the best thing I ever did. 

I used to constantly chase love, happiness, success, and contentment. The longer I was striving for my desires, the more I felt that somehow, I was under their power—and I was! In a way, we are enslaved to whatever it is that our heart desires. That’s why it is so important to guard your heart.

God understood this fully when He created us. As humans, we were designed to be subservient to something beyond ourselves. God made us this way with the intention to only be subservient to Him, who never exploits this delicate feature of who we are. This is my opinion friends, but I believe this is the reason the first commandment prohibits idolatry (Exodus 20:3). God knew how He designed us better than anyone or anything, and wanted to protect us from the harm that serving anything other than Him would do to us. 

From the Beginning, God wanted us to dwell in His presence and have intimate relationship with Him—and He designed us accordingly!

How beautiful is the vision of a life where we could withstand the holiness of God and experience the unimaginable glory of His full physical presence! This is what Jesus’ restoration of all things looks like—God, restored to His rightful, original place as our ruler and friend, the literal and only “owner” of us and everything in the universe. No more being “owned” by the world’s consumerism, alcoholism, pornography, money, drugs, alcohol, relationships, fame, influence, status, lies, most types of societal expectations, the list goes on, for the exploitation of our thoughts and feelings. Until He comes again, we are susceptible to these traps; “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for ‘people are slaves to whatever has mastered them’” (2 Peter 2:19). 

So many of us settle for being “free” to pick our own poison, fooling ourselves with this “good enough” freedom, convincing ourselves, “This isn’t so bad.” Friends, this is false freedom, and is not what we were made for. We can only deny our bondage for so long before our souls cry out. Being truly free comes when we yield our hearts, minds, and souls to God, the only One trustworthy enough to be our owner. The One whose judgment is impartial, who never exploits us by His power, and will never overstep our free will. He patiently gives us space to respond to Him in our own way in our own time. In Him, and Him alone, we are free—free indeed.  

Trust God to set you free from your idols today.

He is able. He is bigger than even that thing that scares you more than anything else in the world. Ask Him to end your bondage today and for help to stop luring others into bondage with you. God expresses His love to us by giving us freedom from sin and death, and free will to make our own decisions in life. He will help you if you ask Him with a sincere heart. It’s no wonder we struggle at times to feel His love, His gift of freedom is constantly being threatened by the world we live in! This is by no means new.

God first promises freedom to the Israelites via Moses in Exodus 6:6, “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.” God wants to free and redeem us just as much as He wanted to free and redeem the Israelites in bondage. He is faithful, and will show mercy. The question for them, and for us, then becomes, 

“Okay, so you’ve been liberated from your Egypt, but are you going to continue living in a mentality of bondage?” 

We can become so accustomed to being manipulated by a partner, family member, or friend, being loyal to a particular party or denomination, being unwilling to learn the Bible for ourselves, listening only to other people talk about what Jesus is like instead of talking to Him directly, that our minds struggle to break free of those old patterns. Our minds can come to expect bondage and subservience and reinforce it, even when we are actively trying not to.

But, there is good news, friends! Jesus’s truth makes it possible to transform any bondage mentality; Scripture commands it: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). We now know that even the physical fissures formed in our brains that reinforce routine patterns can be changed. Thankfully, God made our brains with neuroplasticity so those pathways can be transformed! For many, freedom comes slowly through hard work, not all at once. It takes time and intention to change our thinking to align with the truth of God’s love and freedom, but it is possible. Take heart and do not give up hope, friends! Through Christ we no longer have to feel stuck in our minds believing we’re free when our hearts and spirits know we’re not. He frees us fully and completely.

“What does Jesus have to do with freedom? Everything! because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).  

If you don’t know who Jesus is, I encourage you to seek Him. God promises that when you “seek the Lord your God … you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29). Luke 4:18 describes Jesus as proclaimer of good news to the poor, sight for the blind, and freedom for prisoners and those who are oppressed. Revelation 1:5 describes Jesus as the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler. But even as powerful and glorious as He is, He makes it clear in Scripture that He is a personal God who wants you and me to know Him on a deep and intimate level so we can experience the depth of His love and the gift of the true freedom that only He can give.

When we devote our lives to seeking and following Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit. He awakens us and empowers us to be our authentic selves, truly free of anything that might hold us back in our lives. In the freedom that Christ has generously given, we are free to be the people that we already are fully and as God designed us to be, without being subject to the rule of anything but God, as He intended.  

The vision of freedom looks like each one of us being all of our true selves.

Maybe you’re thinking, that sounds great and all, but it sounds too good to be true, or, I don’t feel victorious or free, even though I believe in Jesus already! Friends, as Jesus Himself said, “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Our faith is what counts as righteousness. God did not promise a life of feeling good, He promised His presence and faithful love for us. He is with us, even when we don’t feel it. “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

Jesus allows us to live a life even now of continual restoration and blessing! In Him, we are no longer subject to spiritual death (Hebrews 2:14). All we must do is have faith in Him, and the full gifts of righteousness Jesus bought by His blood shed on the cross become ours, not that we deserve it, but thanks to His grace and love.

God’s plan will come about.

His plan involves full freedom, from a physical body prone to decay, heartbreak, and anything contrary to love; a plan with nothing more to separate us from Him. God wants all barriers between us and Him to be broken, as He has desired from the very beginning, and is working even now to complete this work. Nothing we’ve done, or the enemy has done, can stop God’s plan from unfolding, or His promises from being fulfilled.   

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3-5a). 

God carries you, as a Father carries His child, into a future of His glory.

I love to imagine what the fullness of God’s glory will look like, but nothing we imagine could ever come close! His glory is total and complete love and acceptance, boundless freedom and creativity, incomprehensible grace, and profound truth. His glory is endless worship and praise of His real and true name, intimacy and closeness to His amazing presence, and wonderful loyalty and faithfulness. He wants nothing more than to tuck you into His arms and carry you in His love and provision until the day when you take your place in the room He has prepared for you. To be fully loved gives us the freedom to love in the same way, and create the culture of love that exists today between Father, Son, and Spirit. God’s will and all of time are pushing toward this reality, no matter how distant it may seem.

The freedom to be in the presence of God is the most wonderful freedom there is. It costs everything the world offers, but it is worth everything and more. “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life” (Romans 6:22). We must not forget that there is freedom here and now in God’s gifts, not just in eternal life. Here and now, Jesus allows us to experience a healthy and truth-honoring transformation of our minds, to choose to walk with the Holy Spirit moment by moment, to love with a selfless and free love, and to have hope of the glory to come in life eternal.

May we be people who choose the freedom to love without limits. 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). 

“Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves” (1 Peter 2:16). 

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory“ (Psalm 149:4). 

 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55).

Further reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.

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My Elimination Diet Story

This week marks one year of changing everything about the way I eat by adopting a strict elimination diet.

Thirteen months ago, I was in tears at my parents’ kitchen table. I was talking to my family about the overwhelming task of drastically and permanently changing my diet, and by extension the way I go about life. But hold on, you might be thinking, what does an elimination diet have to do with life with the King? 

It called upon me to step out of passivity and step into what was right for my body, a temple of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5; 2 Timothy 1:14), not just sometimes but at every single meal. It called upon me to develop a spirit of discipline and perseverance. It called upon me to practice self-control. It called me to trust God in a deeper way. Ultimately, I want to share my story because it revealed things I needed to let God heal in me, and if I can do it, you can too.  

What I Gave Up

I was at a point where I felt stuck in a grab-and-go and restaurant-heavy diet. It worked with my busy lifestyle at the time, eating out on my way here or on the way back from there. The more I gave in to unhealthy diet choices, the more I was tempted by the constant food marketing we all see advertised. Not to mention giving all those foods up would surely ruin my social life; so much of it revolved around eating together with friends. Some of my favorite memories with them involve elaborate potlucks, and going to restaurants for birthdays or other celebrations. We even made a run of trying to sample all the world cuisines; many of us just love food. 

Eliminating the ingredients found in virtually everything? I was very concerned about sounding snobbish, rude, or judgmental if I refused the foods all my friends were eating. Not only that, but how else would we spend time together? (Yes, this was pre-COVID-19). 

While diet was my only ticket out of a prescription I had been taking for years, I was also terrified to stop taking it. To give up my prescription was what I wanted, but it actually meant that I would be facing the scariest withdrawal side effect, depression, head-on. It had hit me with a vengeance less than two weeks after I stopped the prescription once before, around three years prior. Depression messes with my concept of identity, not to mention life itself. Believing the lies depression tells is what scares me perhaps more than anything else. That fear of depression had kept me passively accepting my health situation to that point.

I also just doubted my own resolve. I felt unprepared to give up my restaurant fixes and my social life, like all I had to fight it with was my weak and admittedly underdeveloped self-discipline. 

But my feelings were wrong; the truth was I had God on my side too. 

Little did I know then that He would work so much more in this food journey than I ever imagined. I also had people in my family who encouraged and believed in me to see it through. They prayed for me and believed I could stay on course even though I didn’t. That kitchen table conversation? I left that night with renewed hope and resolve. 

Perseverance and Discipline

The initial motivator that made me push past all these hangups and attempt to discipline myself? The desire to stop taking the prescription I was on (an elimination diet plan would prepare my body for weaning off). Diet was the only option I knew of for doing that. Also, that same prescription was starting to cause ever-more-severe side effects that I had grown weary of tolerating.  

To clarify, I am NOT anti-medication. Medication can and does help people in many cases and there is absolutely a place for them. However, when the costs outweigh the benefits, I believe we need to look for safe alternatives; so that is what I did. 

After six years on my prescription, I had developed severe gastrointestinal (GI) side effects, or “leaky gut.” This is a known side effect. Sadly, my doctor dismissed it as something that can’t be tested or measured, despite my acute and nearly constant pain. 

Changing your lifestyle sounds like such a cliche until you actually try it. It’s hard work, and it takes planning and a willingness to disappoint other people if and when necessary. It takes removing temptations entirely from your environment. It also takes a really, really important reason. 

Sure, I wanted to feel better and get out of pain, but mostly I wanted to gain back my freedom from this prescription I no longer felt was helping me. I did not want to be that dependent on anything but God. And it was harming my body as well. Being strung along against my will just would not do any longer; it was clear to me then that it didn’t fit with what I believe. But soon I came to realize there were many other ways it didn’t fit me. 

Self Control

To help prepare my prescription-dependent brain and body to wean off, I committed to clean foods. I committed to investing a bit more in my health and purchasing organic fruit and vegetables, grass-fed meat, and pasture raised eggs. I went gluten, grain, soy, dairy, corn, caffeine, alcohol, processed/added sugar, potato, and peanut free on September 3rd, 2019. 

Miraculously, I stuck faithfully to this for the first six months (I followed a fantastic book’s plan which also included some supplements—with my doctor’s approval). This meant that suddenly, cooking became a much bigger part of life. In order to make it work for me and my personality as much as possible, I got rid of everything in my kitchen that had any ingredients I couldn’t eat and replaced them all with plan-friendly alternatives, like swapping soy sauce for coconut aminos, or white flour with almond flour. To help myself with self-control, I needed to minimize temptation. 

I was going to make sure that I was welcome in my own kitchen, even if nowhere else. 

I armed myself with plenty of versatile, fun recipes to try, like Thai chicken soup and spiced stir fry, so I never got bored within the ingredient limitations. I can count on one hand the times in those first six months that I ate anything I didn’t prepare myself—mostly times when I was out with friends. Most of those times I was eating within my ingredient restrictions, but none of those instances went particularly well. The cross-contamination was likely just too high. However my body was, thankfully, able to recover more quickly than before I started the elimination diet.

My previously constant GI symptoms mostly disappeared around the two-month mark of being on this plan, around early November 2019. Let me repeat that, 

It took only two months of diligence in self control for my leaky gut symptoms to disappear. 

That’s when I started feeling really good, relieved, energized, and motivated to keep going. I stuck to it through tempting holiday foods at Thanksgiving and Christmas with no unmanageable cravings.  

For anyone who believes inflammation or GI symptoms can’t be helped from diet and supplements alone, from the foods and plants that God’s earth provides for us, I am living proof that they can. 

After four months, I felt my body had gotten accustomed to the diet and was still feeling good. Finally, I was ready to stop taking my prescription in late December (again, with my doctor’s approval). I also started some more intense supplements to help repair intestinal damage and support my liver function even more. At that point, I’d done all I could do and prayed to God, asking Him to take care of the rest. I’d reached the first milestone—four months of eating for my health. Would it pay off? Could depression and other medication withdrawal side effects really be staved off? 

I continued faithfully with the diet through January. By late February, I had no negative side effects of stopping my prescription. I was both shocked and delighted. I could begin the food reintroduction phase of the elimination diet.

First, I tried reintroducing gluten, then dairy, corn, rice, potatoes, and peanuts. Each time I felt mildly tired and lethargic. It wasn’t painful, but I knew how great it was to feel at my best, and surprisingly, even just the “mild,” pain-free cost was no longer worth it to me. I could try reintroduction of these things again after a few months; these costs can lessen over time. For now, I only eat these ingredients in small amounts and very occasionally.  

I reintroduced oats with no negative symptoms, so I now eat them regularly. Because of the way my body reacts to them, I have not tried and have no plans to reintroduce soy, caffeine, alcohol, or added sugars—maybe ever.  

I am still very much in the middle of my self-control journey, but I’ve learned a lot in just one year.

Before starting an elimination diet, I didn’t restrict myself at all as to what, how much, or when I eat. But all these factors affect our bodies, and in turn our minds and spirits as well. Proverbs 25:28 reads, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” This past year’s elimination diet has been more than a diet, it has been a process of first realizing that my own internal “city” had some broken walls, and then putting the walls back together, piece by piece, day by day, meal by meal. Excess of anything without restriction, and ultimately gluttony, isn’t the Way of Jesus. In fact, it is in opposition to it. 

In an elimination diet mindset, you have to die to your will, forget about what you want to eat or feel pressure to eat, and follow the plan, because it’s the best thing for you and your health. Sounds familiar, right? Similarly, I can’t just go and do or say whatever I want because I have chosen to yield to the authority of Jesus. 

You can deny yourself and pick up your cross even when it comes to food choices.

Specifically, picking up my cross means loving God, loving others, and loving myself. Was eating whatever, whenever, even when it was harmful for my body, in line with my beliefs–in line with loving myself? For me, it was not. Treating my body in any way other than as the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is was not loving myself. It was suppressing who I am, mind, body, and spirit. My mind made excuses for it, my body tried in vain to compensate for it, and my spirit was dissatisfied by the whole thing. If I hadn’t suffered with the intolerable symptoms of leaky gut that tipped the scale for me to take action, I shudder at the thought that I might still be in that place.  

I honestly was blind to the issues with eating whatever whenever before I actually started taking the actions of preparing and eating the right foods. Usually, our thoughts motivate our actions, but sometimes our actions help clarify our thoughts when it comes to the Truth–this was one of those profound times for me. 

Restricting my diet helped me gain a sense of self-control that I didn’t have before, and it healed a part of my spirit and mind in the process!

I started out last August dreading a restrictive elimination diet, thinking I would fail and feel terrible about myself, but today, thanks be to God, the opposite is true. I feel happier with myself having acted on it and seeing it through faithfully. My friends didn’t abandon me, in fact, they fully supported me in my health journey; now looking back I wonder why I didn’t think that they would! 

Sticking to something healthy for my body was an act of love for self, which I now see as an act of love for God. I wasn’t compromising my peace of mind or arteries anymore for a greasy, sweet takeout meal. I was doing what I set out to do for my health and well being, letting God take care of the rest. And that’s exactly where I’d ever want to be! 

Trust God 

I learned that God gave us an amazing array of foods that can interact with our bodies in some very healing and restorative ways. 

This journey on an elimination diet helped me to learn that looking at food with this perspective can free us from wanting to make the unhealthy diet choices constantly being marketed to us via all forms of media. It also gave me a whole new layer of self agency—I was at a point with diet a year ago where I didn’t believe I could resist some of the food marketing (doughnut commercials, anyone?), and now that I’ve gone through it, I believe it is possible for anyone. 

Eating differently and making food choices for my health led me to see food differently; I thought it was interesting to note that it didn’t happen the other way around–the perspective shift came by doing. In the day-to-day, I have learned that self control over my food choices is ultimately much more satisfying to my soul, and is much more in line with who I am and what I believe, than indulgence. 

Now, I am still on this journey! I have had some recent, though much less severe, health issues show up that are still in need of full healing. I am fine-tuning, working with doctors and experimenting with natural supplements to support overall health and heal the root issue of symptoms instead of taking medications to mask them, as I had before. Natural, “God-made” ingredients are the way I want to go whenever possible. I would not have thought a natural remedy was even a legitimate option had I not gone through the food journey I went on this year or experienced the healing I did. 

My elimination diet process showed me how deeply our bodies are connected to the health of our minds and spirits, and that our bodies are equally important for our overall health. 

God provides what we need to heal, and change is possible no matter how intimidating, when it comes to being more of who God made you to be and living out your beliefs about Him. 

I had to let go of some things in my life to live out what I believe and live out my trust in God. I now have a desire to continue taking action and walking in trust, to continuously act on trust that God provided me with a body that can adapt, heal, and thrive on the foods that He made, instead of the (in my case) harmful chemicals that man made. 

When we pay attention to and love our bodies, and what information they are giving us about our health (they always do!), we love ourselves and fulfill His commandment to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). By allowing God to heal us, and walking in that healing, we become a living testament of His goodness.

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).

“...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love” (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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3 Things to Keep in Mind During the Holidays

Honestly, I haven’t been in a very thankful mood lately, even though Thanksgiving was just last week. For me, Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season, which tends to come with a lot of responsibilities. All of a sudden, my mind is always on the next thing and in that state it’s difficult to appreciate what I already have, or what it is I’ve been able to accomplish. Instead, I tend to rush right into the next thing without a pause to enjoy the moment, or the people around me. 

Also, maybe you’re like me and right around Thanksgiving you start taking inventory of the year and your life in general. A new year isn’t far ahead, and the days are short–and broodingly dark. Perhaps you start thinking about how your year has gone and the highs and the lows you’ve experienced. You start the annual process of pinpointing what you’re most thankful for and try to focus on the positive. 

This Thanksgiving, with not just a new year but a new decade approaching, it was just hard for me to get into a grateful mood. I kept thinking about all the things I have left to do before the new year starts. Anxiety and overwhelm set in and wouldn’t budge. Meanwhile I had about 20 things on my to-do list waiting. 

Even so, I thought, “What is wrong with me? Why am I feeling like such a grinch; I mean it’s not even Christmas time yet?” 

My attitude made me–not really ungrateful–but calculated and choreographed, generally stressed and distracted. Dare I say it but I believe it’s impossible to enjoy the holiday or to love people around us in this state. Thankfully (pun intended), there is a better way. In hindsight, I discovered there are three things I could have prioritized above all the items on my to-do list that could have helped to make this holiday better and less stressful. I wanted to share these things with you hoping that they might help make the holidays still yet to come a little brighter.  

1. Being present requires slowing down. 

This sounds so simple, and it is. But it’s difficult to put into practice, especially in a busy season like the holiday season. We all want to be present. We all want to love the people around us well. We all want to enjoy the moments we have. However, the first step to doing that is to actually slow down. So, instead of tackling the next thing on my to-do list with the mindset of just getting to the “good part” of being done, I could have stopped to appreciate what I had already accomplished. Given myself a high five. Made some tea and enjoyed the moment for just 10 minutes. Then, back in touch with the present, maybe then I could start on that next line item. The trick though is to focus on what’s good right now. How often do we do this in the rest of the year? Maybe it’s fairly easy for most of my enneagram type 1s out there, but for me, it’s a struggle to stay present. Friends, it’s worth whatever it takes for you to slow down so that being present is possible. 


2. Prayer is more important than preparation. 

Though preparation for the holiday–cooking, cleaning, gift buying and wrapping, card sending, shopping, etc. can easily take top importance in our minds, prayer can’t be an afterthought. I mean, it can, but that’s what we want to avoid. Prayer often gets bumped down to the very end of the day when I’m too tired to have an honest, healing, helpful conversation with God. This happened to me big time this Thanksgiving; full disclosure. I tried to just push through and get to the part where I could enjoy the holiday, only to find I was so stressed and emotions had been so bottled up, that I struggled to enjoy it. And the worst part was that God felt far away, because I hadn’t been prioritizing prayer. Friends, prayer is the most important thing, in every season. All the preparation in the world, the best food, the best gifts, the cleanest house–it doesn’t mean anything. Connecting with God is everything. Prayer can give rest to a weary soul, and can restore a hurried heart. All of life flows from prayer. Don’t bump prayer for anything else; it’s the lifeline we need. 

3. There are consequences for going on your own strength. 

Jeremiah warns that there are consequences for not turning to the Lord, and His will. I didn’t go on my own strength intentionally; it just happened. I pressed forward in what seemingly needed to be done. Why did I need to pray about going to the market to buy green beans? Oh, but I did ya’ll. Trying to get through on my own strength had a tremendous cost. One day instead of doing what I had planned, I was feeling so down and dark emotionally from the weight of obligation that all I could do was go find a quiet place outdoors to walk and talk to God. I had no strength left anymore to go on my own. There was a cost, a consequence, of not turning to the Lord first. There is significance in giving the Lord everything in our lives, down to the last green bean. Instead of waiting for a meltdown, dealing with life could have been easier if I had given each task over to the Lord in prayer before proceeding. Also I could have given them to God before saying yes to them in the first place. Did I really need to be doing this or that thing? Was it truly my job to do? Instead of asking these things, I had tried to just go forward and handle everything on my own. God warned me of the consequences when I read the passage from Jeremiah a couple of weeks ago. But I didn’t truly get it until after my walk and talk with God. It was so obvious, too; an, “Oh, that’s what He was talking about!” moment. Hindsight–it’s a great teacher.

Friends, for this holiday and all those to come, may we all slow down and walk at the pace Jesus modeled for us–taking the time to truly see one another, choosing what is best, and being present with Him as He is present with us. 

Luke 10:40-42: “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’

‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Further suggested reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer; The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer; To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke

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Repentance

Turning back to God didn’t happen just once for the Israelites, and it certainly didn’t happen just once for me. In my own life, I’ve turned back to Him more times than I can count, sometimes multiple times in a day. However, one time in particular was the start of a big change in my life. Admitting we are wrong isn’t easy. Yet in a sense, it is exactly what repentance, and in fact Christianity, calls for.  

When I discovered this, I didn’t like it at all. It made so much more sense to me that I was fine just the way I was. That sin wasn’t a big deal to be ashamed of but something we learn to cope with. That I wouldn’t really be held responsible for sin, especially the inherited kind that I had no control over. Following this logic, it was easy to lose ground with faith, and I slipped further and further away from the truth of what God’s Word actually says about sin. After losing my faith entirely, living my own way, and believing these “comfortable” things for several years, repentance from sin as the Bible describes it finally became real to me.  

One of my favorite verses in Scripture now is Romans 2:4, “...God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” While I was fully convinced of the merits of not believing in sin or God, He reached into my life and showed kindness so undeniable that I couldn’t ignore it or explain it away. When I realized that it really was God’s kindness, not some happy accident or coincidence, it changed something in my heart.

On the path of losing my faith, my heart had gone through a number of phases toward God; I became skeptical, then callous, then arrogant, cold, and unloving. I had been awful to God if He truly was real. I had denied Him. Yet, even still, God showed me kindness. Despite how awful I was to Him, His kindness was the only thing that finally warmed my cold heart. Only a few months later I truly wanted to repent, to turn everything in my life around and trust God instead. It all started with His kindness. His kindness led me off the path of faithlessness and onto a new path of true repentance.

God’s kindness can reach beyond all intellectual and emotional barriers. 

The call to repent really intensified shortly before Jesus’ three years of ministry when John the Baptist began preaching, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 3:2). After John was put into prison, Jesus moved to Capernaum and “From that time on Jesus began to preach, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near’” (Matthew 4:17). These two major figures of the Bible both had the same core message! So, what is so important about repentance?  

Repentance comes up quite a bit in Scripture. It is associated with baptism and life. In trying to Biblically define repentance, I found that it is to allow oneself to be corrected (Jeremiah 5:3, Revelation 2:21), to realize and turn from wickedness (Jeremiah 8:6), to turn from idols and renounce all detestable practices (Ezekiel 14:6), to turn away from all our offenses (Ezekiel 18:30), to (re)turn to God (1 Samuel 7:2b-3, Hosea 14:1, Acts 3:19, Acts 26:20), and to produce [spiritual] fruit (Matthew 3:8, Luke 3:8); it involves faith in God (Matthew 21:32, Mark 1:15, Acts 20:21), it is a command to all people everywhere (Acts 17:30), it involves Godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:9-10), it involves and is done in relation to sin (John 1:28, 2 Corinthians 12:21), it involves recognition of the truth (2 Timothy 2:25), it is something God wants for everyone (2 Peter 3:9), it is a sort of waking up (Revelation 3:3), and it can result from God’s love, discipline, rebuke (Revelation 3:19), and kindness (Romans 2:4). 

God wants nothing more than for us all to repent. When we do, it unlocks our hearts to be open to receive His promises, His gifts of the Spirit, and His presence. He longs to be close to us. When I chose to keep Him away in my own life, I fell into the sin of idolatry, among others. God’s very first commandment to the Isrealites is to have no other gods before [Him] (Exodus 20:3). While I don’t recall having any golden statues in my house to worship, for me, idolatry came in the form of putting other things before God. The prophet Samuel spoke to the Isrealites about this;

“Then all the people of Israel turned back to the Lord. So Samuel said to all the Israelites, ‘If you are returning to the Lord with all your hearts, then rid yourselves of the foreign gods and the Ashtoreths and commit yourselves to the Lord and serve him only, and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines’” (1 Samuel 7:2b-3).

This Old Testament passage speaks not only of repentance but idolatry, of putting other gods in place of the one true living God. He wants nothing to come between Him and any one of us. He wants our hearts to be committed to Him. 

I had gotten lost in the prevalent explanations that society offers: we all make our own truth, there is no one absolute truth, all you need to do is be a good person, you don’t need to feel ashamed of anything about yourself, there are no eternal consequences for anything, and there is nothing after we die. 

These lies became idols in my life. 

I had adopted them and they became louder in my mind than God’s still, small voice. I was trying to live out this new philosophy of life where I had landed, but I was still miserable. I was even more miserable than I had been when I wasn’t sure of whether or not God was real. It was all too much and I just became numb. It was a dark, confusing, and exhausting time. If you know someone going through a time like this, please check out my post, “10 Ways to Help Someone Struggling with Faith.” Friends, it is so easy to latch onto lies the world tells us; they usually sound good and fair on the surface. However, we must test everything against the truth in the Word of God. It points us back to the truth about ourselves, and to Jesus, who is our hope. 

God keeps His promises. He promised salvation, and He keeps that promise through Jesus and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

Repentance leads to receiving God’s promise of deliverance from sin through Jesus Christ.  

God reached out to me even when my mind and heart were closed to Him, when the misery became too much to bear. It was wonderful, amazing grace. This miracle still astounds me. I finally knew without a doubt that God is real, but I couldn’t go back to all the same beliefs I had about God before. Some of those beliefs still needed to be changed, because they weren’t all true. Even though I had repented, I still had to rethink everything all over again. All I knew was that He is real; I had to just start there. I had lied to myself for so long it was hard to know the truth, but I craved it. The fact that I knew He was real meant I couldn’t trust atheist or agnostic sources anymore. He led me right back to the Bible for answers, a Book that I hadn’t trusted in a long time. But I trusted that God was real, so I gave it another chance.

It was a process to understand sin, and how it had cut me off from relationship with God, and that I had gone my own way because of it. I had repented, but then later after seeking truth I finally understood. “‘After I strayed, I repented; after I came to understand, I beat my breast. I was ashamed and humiliated because I bore the disgrace of my youth’” (Jeremiah 31:19). We need both repentance and understanding to sustain us in our faith. I had to come to face the worst of it which was finally clear to me; I’d KNOWN God and STILL walked away from Him! Maybe some of you can relate to this story. Even still, all God asks is for us to trust Him enough to repent. Through repentance–turning from sin and relying on the salvation Jesus offers each one of us–He promises us restoration back to Himself.   

I pray that you can learn from my mistake: you don’t have to walk away from God like I did for your faith to be renewed and strengthened! By seeking Him and the truth about Him, you can know He is real now, you can know He loves you now, you can know His intentions for you were always good. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Yes, sin crept into humanity at the start and bad things happen. Being a good person isn’t enough to conquer sin and death; only Jesus can do that for us. With repentance comes restoration. “Therefore this is what the Lord says: ‘If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them’” (Jeremiah 15:19). There is always hope.

God longs to restore us to walk with Him as He originally intended in the Garden.

Yes, true repentance will cost everything in your life. To fully trust God and walk in repentance, we must let our own logic about what is right for us die and surrender our lives to His way, “Then [Jesus] said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The cost is great, but it’s well worth it. God’s way is better than anything we could dream up for ourselves. I’ve never met a single Christian who was sorry they made the choice to follow Jesus.

When repentance and understanding came, the nagging sense of meaninglessness and numbness in my life disappeared. I accepted the truth the Word offers about my own sin, that it is in fact a barrier to relationship with God. Jesus brought justice where I didn’t deserve justice. He loved me when I didn’t love Him. He made a way for me even after I closed the door of my heart to Him. 

No one is too far from His love to be found by Him. 

After I repented and accepted Jesus’ gift of life for me, I couldn’t just go on as I had been going. My life dramatically changed. I started attending church again. I made Christian friends and sought their counsel. I prayed as much as I could because prayer had been restored to me, right along with my life. I had a reason to live again, and to glorify Him in everything. I’m sure my family would tell you I cried less tears.

Change is evidence of true repentance. 

I am still learning and definitely still do things that are wrong. I still need to repent of those things. However, everything changed when I repented of the way I was living and believing. At that moment, change really began. My faith in God is now growing all the time where before it was dead. God restored my ruined life and handed it back to me miraculously whole again. 

Eternal life begins now when we repent, we don’t have to wait until after we die to begin living it! Jesus has truly restored all things, including a life where I can find joy despite the pain this life can bring. It all starts with repentance. May we all be quick to repent and turn to the Lord.

“‘This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength…” (Isaiah 30:15a)

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Confidence in The Promises of God

I go through these times when my inner space is filled with noise to the point where being calm isn’t even an option. I’m still very much in the process of learning to actually use the anxiety-reducing “tools” that help–breathing, for instance. I’m not very good at that. Or staying still. Not so good at that either. Or limiting the amount of content I watch in a day or a week. That’s definitely a work in progress. I’m writing to myself today, as much as to you, my fantastic readers, because this week, I’m in one of those states where I just feel scattered. Maybe you’ve experienced this too. It might last a few hours or a few weeks, but these are the times when I need to remember the Truth of God’s promises the most. 

When I’m feeling this way, it’s easy to forget God entirely and focus on myself. This is what’s so dangerous about it. It’s easy to only hear the noise and feel that God isn’t there after all, and pretty soon my mind starts telling me that He’s not speaking to me, that He’s disappointed in me, or that He’s punishing me. My mind goes there, 0 to 60, despite all I’ve learned and all I’ve experienced and all the ways I’ve grown spiritually. I still need to pick up my cross daily, just as we all do. I’ve been reminded a lot of this lately, that it’s not a one-and-done deal to follow Jesus. I have to work at it every single day. On days like today, it’s especially difficult because the less my mind can focus, the more prone I can be to self-deprecating lies.  

One particular lie I’ve been wrestling with lately is, the more you do, the better you are. Thinking this is a guarantee of getting into a swirl like the one I’m in. When I’m busy doing things, I hurry. I hurry to try to make a deadline for work or hurry to make an appointment on time or (cringe) hurry through my devotion time. In the book by Alan Fadling, An Unhurried Life, he writes that when we hurry, we’re actually committing violence to ourselves. I think this is at least part of where my sense of being scattered comes from; that violence splinters something in me. It reduces me to being what I can do or produce in a day, instead of being myself. When I commit violence to myself, I’m doing exactly what my sinful nature wants: weakening not only my spirit but also my resolve to treat myself as a child of God, with respect. I start putting myself down, pushing myself to do even more, and losing myself in the process. Needless to say, this is an unhealthy cycle but getting out of it is easier said than done. 

Sure, breathing helps my body to calm down and deal with the adrenaline overload a bit better, it gets a little more oxygen into my overactive brain. Staying still, or stopping activity, can help to diffuse the stress of and in the moment. Limiting content can help keep my brain from being overstimulated. But, none of these tools actually address the real issue, only the symptoms. So, what REALLY helps? What is the real weapon against the lies that can splinter our souls? Along with prayer, the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17), is a powerful weapon. In the Word, God provides His promises. I take great comfort in them and the fact that they are True despite every swirl and every situation I may find myself in. Stopping to speak them aloud or meditate on them in my heart brings God into clearer focus. We must never forget to resist the devil, and he will flee… (James 4:7). Here I’d like to share three of my most treasured promises of God (there are hundreds!):

1. God promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). 

When I started believing the Bible is True, I discovered something amazing–there are SO many promises to hope and have confidence in! To discover them while also believing they were True without a doubt was, and is, an unexplainably great gift. When I’m flooded with negative thoughts, remembering His promise never to leave us nor forsake us is a huge comfort. When I feel full of negativity and doubt, it’s easy to feel lost and that God isn’t there. But, the Truth is that He has already promised otherwise. He is there, even when we can’t see it or feel it or experience it, He is with us! We don’t have to do anything to earn it. As my wise sister Abby once told me, it’s not about what you can do; it’s about what He did for us.  

2. God promises that He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, and to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

When I was experiencing violence to my soul, reading this promise and finally believing it was True was perhaps the most life-giving thing I’d ever heard. It was as if I’d never heard it before; I read it with a new heart, finally ready to receive what God had offered me long before I was even born. I had been at a point where I believed I had no future, that the odds were stacked against me, and that God, if He was there at all, didn’t care. How beautiful this promise was to see with fresh eyes! I had basically given up planning for a future, but took new hope in the promise that God really did have one in mind for me, for, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). 

3. God promises to restore all things (Acts 3:21).

The awareness I’ve gained of the world’s brokenness and my own brokenness can be difficult to bear at times. But thanks to God’s promise, I can rejoice that He will restore it all and that at His appointed time, [t]here will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4). My hope is in Him, who is bigger than any problem you or I may face, and who has promised to restore what has been broken in and around us. What incredible hope we can find in His promises to us! What reason to live and endure and bring His hope to this world! Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4). 

It takes faith to believe in the promises of God, it’s certainly not a popular thing. But I’ve tried it the other way and there was nothing for me there. No hope, no meaning, no future in sight. Stepping confidently forward in faith, everything changes and suddenly, all things are possible. Thanks be to God.  

Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. -Psalm 27:3

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! -Luke 1:45

Further suggested reading:  An Unhurried Life by Alan Fadling

The Grace Upon Grace blog (www.graceupongrace.space) by Abby King

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