Tag: James

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Do You Still Trust Me?

I didn’t know what it meant to trust God until I had to trust God. I could talk all day calmly and logically about trusting God from a young age, but until I was faced with multiple medical emergencies, accidents, tragedies, and crossroads in life, I had no idea what “trusting God” meant. At first, I took these difficult circumstances as God’s indifference, and the chaos and cruelty of life. Now after more experience, I can say that I’m grateful for them. They have been opportunities, however difficult, to trust God more completely, wholeheartedly, and desperately. They’ve been a very quick and accurate test that shows me just how much I’m relying on God, or not.

We go to school to provide for ourselves in some way, intellectually or for new skills. We work to provide an income to pay for living expenses. Many of us do this all our lives. But we must never forget that it is God who provides for us, not ourselves. God, “who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’” (Deuteronomy 8:16-17). The pride of self-reliance is a trap I’ve fallen into many times. But we see in this passage, God tests us in this, and it’s for our good. It’s been the difficulties, such as those I faced when I could no longer rely on myself the way I was used to, that have helped me most to live life every day with the King.

In the Characteristics of God series, we have delved into the details of who God is, what He’s really like according to Scripture, and why we can trust Him in the first place. Knowing God’s character is necessary to begin to live in step with Him, His will for us, and the people in our lives. We cannot trust someone we don’t know.

God trusts you with the struggles in your life. He trusts that you will walk through them and discover how He is walking with you, and know Him better for it. He trusts that you will respond to His love once you recognize it. He trusts that eventually you will recognize how He provides for you in the struggle. God is patient to let you take your time in grasping the incomprehensibility of His sacrificial, unconditional love for you, and the amazing freedom you actually have in that great love.

Jesus never exploits us or forces us into loving Him. The Apostle Paul wrote, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He died for us while we were still sinning against Him. While we disobeyed Him and separated ourselves from Him, He still chose to sacrifice His life for ours. We only need to believe that He really is that merciful, faithful, good, and gracious. Jesus gave us reason to rejoice, and provided all we need, besides. We are truly safe and free in His love!

With every new challenge this past year, it was as if God was asking me the question, “Do you still trust me?” Physiologically this past year, I felt anything but safe or free. The time of establishing my faith was long over, and in this season, I was tested on whether that faith could be shaken. Not only that, but tested in learning to trust God in real time, while experiencing the panic and grief that came with burnout. Did I know what to trust God for? Did I know who He was and what He promises to His people? Did I believe they applied to me even while I was afraid? I needed God to walk with me through that test; I couldn’t endure on my own. He has been faithful to see me through to this new season, where there will surely be new challenges to face. But now on the other side of that particular test, I’ve learned by experience how much God can be trusted.

We all face challenges in our lives that are more than we can bear; each are invitations from God to lean on Him. He will get us to the other side of the challenges we face. We can’t handle them on our own, we need God to provide. The more we recognize that reality, the more God can work in our humbled hearts, ready and expectant for Him to work on our behalf, for our good. We need Him to free us from pride that keeps us bound in self defensiveness, fear, and selfishness. In the Book of James, James writes, “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). The more I agree with the reality that God is in charge, not me, the more freedom I experience.

May God break every chain in us to live free in His love. Amen.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:4).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Dealing with Pride

“what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.    

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay. 

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.  

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29). 

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride. 

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.    

Sin 

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin. 

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him. 

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.  

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so. 

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.  

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of. 

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus. 

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14). 

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