Humility Archives : Life with the King

January 8, 2026January 8, 2026

Do You Still Trust Me?

I didn’t know what it meant to trust God until I had to trust God. I could talk all day calmly and logically about trusting God from a young age, but until I was faced with multiple medical emergencies, accidents, tragedies, and crossroads in life, I had no idea what “trusting God” meant. At first, I took these difficult circumstances as God’s indifference, and the chaos and cruelty of life. Now after more experience, I can say that I’m grateful for them. They have been opportunities, however difficult, to trust God more completely, wholeheartedly, and desperately. They’ve been a very quick and accurate test that shows me just how much I’m relying on God, or not.

We go to school to provide for ourselves in some way, intellectually or for new skills. We work to provide an income to pay for living expenses. Many of us do this all our lives. But we must never forget that it is God who provides for us, not ourselves. God, “who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’” (Deuteronomy 8:16-17). The pride of self-reliance is a trap I’ve fallen into many times. But we see in this passage, God tests us in this, and it’s for our good. It’s been the difficulties, such as those I faced when I could no longer rely on myself the way I was used to, that have helped me most to live life every day with the King.

In the Characteristics of God series, we have delved into the details of who God is, what He’s really like according to Scripture, and why we can trust Him in the first place. Knowing God’s character is necessary to begin to live in step with Him, His will for us, and the people in our lives. We cannot trust someone we don’t know.

God trusts you with the struggles in your life. He trusts that you will walk through them and discover how He is walking with you, and know Him better for it. He trusts that you will respond to His love once you recognize it. He trusts that eventually you will recognize how He provides for you in the struggle. God is patient to let you take your time in grasping the incomprehensibility of His sacrificial, unconditional love for you, and the amazing freedom you actually have in that great love.

Jesus never exploits us or forces us into loving Him. The Apostle Paul wrote, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He died for us while we were still sinning against Him. While we disobeyed Him and separated ourselves from Him, He still chose to sacrifice His life for ours. We only need to believe that He really is that merciful, faithful, good, and gracious. Jesus gave us reason to rejoice, and provided all we need, besides. We are truly safe and free in His love!

With every new challenge this past year, it was as if God was asking me the question, “Do you still trust me?” Physiologically this past year, I felt anything but safe or free. The time of establishing my faith was long over, and in this season, I was tested on whether that faith could be shaken. Not only that, but tested in learning to trust God in real time, while experiencing the panic and grief that came with burnout. Did I know what to trust God for? Did I know who He was and what He promises to His people? Did I believe they applied to me even while I was afraid? I needed God to walk with me through that test; I couldn’t endure on my own. He has been faithful to see me through to this new season, where there will surely be new challenges to face. But now on the other side of that particular test, I’ve learned by experience how much God can be trusted.

We all face challenges in our lives that are more than we can bear; each are invitations from God to lean on Him. He will get us to the other side of the challenges we face. We can’t handle them on our own, we need God to provide. The more we recognize that reality, the more God can work in our humbled hearts, ready and expectant for Him to work on our behalf, for our good. We need Him to free us from pride that keeps us bound in self defensiveness, fear, and selfishness. In the Book of James, James writes, “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). The more I agree with the reality that God is in charge, not me, the more freedom I experience.

May God break every chain in us to live free in His love. Amen.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

“Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:4).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

October 30, 2025October 30, 2025

God’s Help

Is it hard for you to accept help too, or is it just me? It can be very difficult for me to accept help from people and from God. Pride can get in the way so easily, and that’s especially when the way of the world can seem more important than the Way of Jesus. However, it’s fundamental to Christian faith to be able to accept help and grace from Jesus, and from His people. Even when I believed they couldn’t help. Even when I felt it looked weak. For some of us, it’s not as easy as it sounds to accept help.

“I hope you have looked to God to help you with all of these things.” When I was 14, I wrote that in a letter to my “40-something” self. I pulled it out of dust today, and while I’m not quite 40 yet, that letter reminded me of how much God has taught me this past year about how to let Him help me. Even at 14, I knew it was a struggle for me. I was used to walking in the opposite direction of God for help, trying to help my own self, thank you so much. I wouldn’t have admitted that, though. But, revelation comes when we are ready to see it. God is so mercifully patient with us that way.

I was lost in the way of the world and couldn’t stop going the wrong way, like running on a treadmill with a broken emergency brake. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I needed help. God helped me first by letting me break all the way down. To the point where I couldn’t help myself even if and when I tried. “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:2). It was humbling, but it was the lesson I needed. We can’t humble or transform our own hearts, we need Jesus to do that.

Part of me will probably always be prone to being tempted to earn things for myself; I think that’s normal for us human beings. But God has been faithfully teaching me a new Way, a Way of freedom from sin, including the pride that kept me from accepting help. My letter showed me that my 14-year-old self was longing for it and I’m grateful that I’m finally starting to learn. And God is faithful to teach you too. He never gives up on us, not even after many, many years. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). So now, though I’m sure I’ll mess up again, because hi, human, I’m looking to Him more than ever to live a life aligned with the Truth: that it is only by God’s help that we have every breath and blessing.

May we all learn to rest in the Truth of God’s help, aware of how completely we depend on Him for all we need. Amen.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:8).

August 14, 2025September 11, 2025

Getting What You Pray For

We expect to get what we pay for. But what about what we pray for? I’ve questioned if something I am praying for is really God’s will, but many times I actively tried not to think about it that way and just prayed for what I wanted or needed. Knowing what God wanted seemed far too mysterious, and was something I would ignore out of frustration. I had no idea how to tell or how to walk in step with God’s will when it came to my everyday life, and it seemed like an impossible ask, and task.

Lately, I’ve come to understand this differently, in a way that removed so much more of the mystery than I ever thought possible.

Praying for My Will

The needs and wants that come up hourly in my own life and in the lives of those close to me seem infinite in number. There are needs to be met at every turn for every person, and it doesn’t take long to realize that we ourselves aren’t equipped to fill them all. We need God every day, hour, and minute. It is natural to have a need or want and pray for it to happen. It’s what I was taught to do, and there’s a good place for it. As an example, for many years I prayed that I would be able to go to bed and actually fall asleep earlier.

But as much as I wouldn’t have believed it or wanted to hear it, I didn’t know what I actually needed or wanted. I didn’t understand how God designed us first for relationship with Him and how much in our lives is a result of this Truth. I knew the sleep trouble indicated a misalignment somewhere in my life, but I didn’t realize that staying up too late was actually a symptom of not prioritizing my relationship with Jesus, or how He was calling me to live. I had prayed for the symptom, but completely missed the root cause.

God’s Restoration

Once I saw the connection of everything to my relationship with Jesus, things didn’t feel so complicated. I simply had to run to Him. I’ve had to learn many things “the hard way,” by not getting what I pray for. Those prayers weren’t focused on what was best in the long run, but what I thought would be good in the present. But God has worked in my heart to restore what I thought at one time was broken trust. God began a needed work of restoration in me that I couldn’t accomplish on my own. I prayed for it, and this time, He answered. He showed me that His will truly is what is best in the long run. Scripture clearly shows time and time again that it is God’s will to restore connection with the hearts that humbly bring themselves to Him. It’s who He is, part of His loving and faithful character. He will restore connection with us whenever we earnestly ask for it, because that is His will.

In this restoration of connection, God transformed my heart. He helped me see how things I believe, say, or do, especially when related to myself, affect my relationship with Him. He showed me through His Word and Spirit that relationship with Him is the most precious and important thing, both to me and to Him. His will is always barrier-free relationship with each one of us. Instead of simply praying for temporal improvements, I began to ask, does this affect my relationship with God? That question has changed everything.

He doesn’t want anything to come between Himself and me or you; He is faithful to help us keep our connection strong when we ask. Through His transformative work in my heart, I came to know that prayers aligned with restoring and keeping and growing trusting, relational connection with us will be answered. It has led to even deeper prayer, with a profound sense of knowing that God has already supplied every real need (Philippians 4:19), before we even ask!

Praying for God’s Will

I mentioned earlier about praying for perceived needs according to what we want or will. But things can get more complicated than that. What if it’s God’s will that a need remains unmet right now? What if His greater plan involves that need going unmet?

Jesus gave us an amazing example of praying for God’s will in the garden of Gethsemane, “And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done‘” (Luke 22:41-42). He knew the Father’s will, but in this prayer He lets the Father know His own will, which is quite opposite. But then, Jesus says something really extraordinary. Jesus displays ultimate humility, knowing and acknowledging that God’s will is sovereign. No matter how much Jesus’ own will tried to resist against it, He had decided long before praying that prayer that God’s will would always be His choice because of His trusting relationship with Him. He had no doubt about the Father’s character of ultimate love and goodness toward Him.

I believe God is inviting us today to decide, like Jesus had done, that He is sovereign in our lives, to humble ourselves in trust, and to choose relationship with Him over our own will. God’s will is restored relationship with Him, and in that place of safety there is freedom and life to be found, sweeter than any life we could attempt to build from our own will.

When we pray for God’s will, we get what we pray for. It may not be immediate, or the way we expect, but restored and strengthened relationship with God is where all this, His plan, is heading. God is faithful and trustworthy to fulfill His will. May His will be done!

“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35).

“If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority” (John 7:17).

“And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:27).

June 26, 2020June 26, 2020

The Serpent’s Question

I always thought it was a little harsh for Jesus to call Peter “Satan,” after he didn’t want to accept the news that Jesus would be killed. I mean, can I blame Peter for at least trying to lighten the mood after Jesus made such a dark pronouncement? Maybe Peter’s motives weren’t really “evil” and he just wanted to bring a little hope to Jesus, right?

This week, my perspective has been completely changed, and I wanted to share it with you. What finally became clear to me about this oft-quoted scene was that Jesus was seeing past both Peter’s actual words and perhaps motives too. Instead, Jesus was discerning the true meaning and belief Peter had, a basic assumption that allowed him to even utter these words.

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ‘Never, Lord!’ he said. ‘This shall never happen to you!’

Jesus turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’” (Matthew 16:21-23).

Jesus saw that Peter, perhaps unknowingly, was actually questioning what God said in the Old Testament. Though it clearly foretells through the psalms and prophets that the Messiah must suffer (eg: Isaiah 53), Peter revealed that he could not believe these prophecies.

Peter’s question had the same meaning as the serpent’s question to Eve in Genesis 3:1, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

Did God actually… was the seed of doubt planted in Eve’s mind, a question of her belief. After a bit more of the serpent’s reasoning in verses 4-5, Eve’s belief in God’s trustworthiness was swayed, all because of the serpent’s question.

Asking herself a serpent’s question,“Is that REALLY what God said?,” had disastrous consequences.

Sure, for Peter, it might have been comforting in the moment to question whether his friend and teacher Jesus’ death was inevitable, but it wouldn’t have been in line with what God said in His Word. If Jesus believed a lie about God, even just one, it would have been disastrous.

Okay, you may be thinking, I get it. But what exactly moved Jesus so much as to call Peter “Satan?” Peter’s words “Never, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” in Matthew 16 are not the same words the serpent used with Eve.

However, if we look at the belief behind Peter’s words, it is in direct opposition with God’s Word. Peter’s meaning essentially comes down to, “I do not believe God!” Jesus saw Peter’s words to be a clear rejection of God’s truth. He saw it as a complete lack of faith in the Word of God. To deny the foretold suffering was to deny that God was actually telling the truth–there it is plainly, Satan’s trademark. In light of this, Jesus was perhaps not so much harshly overacting toward Peter as simply calling it what it was.

Listening for the meaning behind any question will help us see as sharply as Jesus did.

Friends, I invite you to join with me in asking the Holy Spirit for discernment to know the belief behind the words we take in and tell ourselves.

Luckily, the serpent’s questions are unoriginal. Their underlying meaning and belief are always the same. But they are crafty. They can sneak into our thoughts just as easily as they did with Peter’s if we don’t watch for them. The essence of Peter’s rebuke and all serpent’s questions are, “God couldn’t possibly have meant that!” Other variations include, Is God really like that? Is that actually what God said?

Learn to recognize the serpent’s question.

Coming to terms with our own serpent’s questions is no small feat. When we recognize we are trying to do something on our own strength, realize we haven’t prayed about something we’ve been worrying about for weeks, or simply don’t understand why our putting in more time and effort for something we want is getting us nowhere, we have a moment of opportunity. It is there we can stop and see the truth of our position, which is humility. One of my new favorite verses speaks perfectly to this, “For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all” (Romans 11:32). When we go our own way in disobedience, even there we find God’s grace.

How to break this cycle? Living in honest dependence on God involves recognizing that we are desperate without Him. Complete dependence is terrifyingly vulnerable. Yet, that’s how intensely and intimately God invites us to trust in Him. “...unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3). As His children, God invites us to depend on Him for every need and every desire; He is and never stopped being our Good Father.

Being aware of our desperation for God can lead us to two extremes: total surrender or complete resentment.

In surrender, we are humbled, in awe, broken and owning up to that brokenness. We are aware in that place of surrender that we have nothing to give without God. On the opposite end, recognizing how dependent we really are on God can also feel frustrating, even demoralizing. If we’re honest, we can resent that we will never truly be able to fulfill that natural human desire for power and control. Knowing the truth that God is the one in control can be a struggle to come to terms with. But take heart, God takes this into account too, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14).

Maybe you’re like me, and struggling with overcoming pride might be a huge part of your spiritual journey too. That’s okay. When and as we are ready, God is faithful to show us the beauty of that other side, the side of our willing surrender to His capable hands. He is constantly showing us His goodness, and how good it is that He is in control, and not us. We need only to look for it and be open to seeing it. There is always more to learn, more to understand, more to discover about God. That is what makes our Life with the King so exciting!

We cannot glorify God if we are too busy glorifying ourselves.

I’m telling myself this too! So, how do we deny self daily (Luke 9:23)? How do we fulfill the greatest commands, to love God and love others as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39)? It is a constant decision to pick up our crosses and obey Jesus willingly. How do we keep this up? To love God is a daily choice. God is the one who then takes that choice and makes us able to love. Love is the most fulfilling part of life. The Way of love brings fulfillment! We must depend on Him and His love completely, fully, and humbly to walk in the Way of love. Maybe this too is why Jesus reacted so harshly to Peter; He knew that Peter wasn’t surrendered fully to God’s will.

That place of obedience and surrender to the Way of walking out His command is where our ego dies. Denying ourselves doesn’t just happen. It takes a willing humility to choose it every day. We will fail sometimes. That’s okay. But there is nothing better than being surrendered to the will of God. That is the place God intended for us from the beginning, when all was perfect in the Garden. There is no room to feel self important in that place of complete grace, mercy and childlike dependence. Jesus’ work on the cross made a Way for us to come back into God’s will. In that place, serpent’s questions are silenced. There is no ego in love.

Allow your heart, your soul, your very self, to be moved by God’s love for you.

It is in that place of acceptance of being loved by God that we can begin to live freely and lightly, under the authority and protection, the abundance and goodness, the meaning and fulfillment, of Christ.

We do not make ourselves able; we make ourselves available to Him.

That is our step; to be open to God and all He has for us. In doing that, we let Him come close to rescue us, give us His Spirit, and fight temptation with us. God makes us able. Amen.

“Resist the devil and he will flee…” (James 4:7)

“Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’” (James 4:5).

Thank you for spending some of your journey here. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.

January 24, 2020January 24, 2020

Dealing with Pride

“what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay.

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29).

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride.

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.

Sin

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin.

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him.

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so.

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of.

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus.

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14).