Tag: God

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My Elimination Diet Story

This week marks one year of changing everything about the way I eat by adopting a strict elimination diet.

Thirteen months ago, I was in tears at my parents’ kitchen table. I was talking to my family about the overwhelming task of drastically and permanently changing my diet, and by extension the way I go about life. But hold on, you might be thinking, what does an elimination diet have to do with life with the King? 

It called upon me to step out of passivity and step into what was right for my body, a temple of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5; 2 Timothy 1:14), not just sometimes but at every single meal. It called upon me to develop a spirit of discipline and perseverance. It called upon me to practice self-control. It called me to trust God in a deeper way. Ultimately, I want to share my story because it revealed things I needed to let God heal in me, and if I can do it, you can too.  

What I Gave Up

I was at a point where I felt stuck in a grab-and-go and restaurant-heavy diet. It worked with my busy lifestyle at the time, eating out on my way here or on the way back from there. The more I gave in to unhealthy diet choices, the more I was tempted by the constant food marketing we all see advertised. Not to mention giving all those foods up would surely ruin my social life; so much of it revolved around eating together with friends. Some of my favorite memories with them involve elaborate potlucks, and going to restaurants for birthdays or other celebrations. We even made a run of trying to sample all the world cuisines; many of us just love food. 

Eliminating the ingredients found in virtually everything? I was very concerned about sounding snobbish, rude, or judgmental if I refused the foods all my friends were eating. Not only that, but how else would we spend time together? (Yes, this was pre-COVID-19). 

While diet was my only ticket out of a prescription I had been taking for years, I was also terrified to stop taking it. To give up my prescription was what I wanted, but it actually meant that I would be facing the scariest withdrawal side effect, depression, head-on. It had hit me with a vengeance less than two weeks after I stopped the prescription once before, around three years prior. Depression messes with my concept of identity, not to mention life itself. Believing the lies depression tells is what scares me perhaps more than anything else. That fear of depression had kept me passively accepting my health situation to that point.

I also just doubted my own resolve. I felt unprepared to give up my restaurant fixes and my social life, like all I had to fight it with was my weak and admittedly underdeveloped self-discipline. 

But my feelings were wrong; the truth was I had God on my side too. 

Little did I know then that He would work so much more in this food journey than I ever imagined. I also had people in my family who encouraged and believed in me to see it through. They prayed for me and believed I could stay on course even though I didn’t. That kitchen table conversation? I left that night with renewed hope and resolve. 

Perseverance and Discipline

The initial motivator that made me push past all these hangups and attempt to discipline myself? The desire to stop taking the prescription I was on (an elimination diet plan would prepare my body for weaning off). Diet was the only option I knew of for doing that. Also, that same prescription was starting to cause ever-more-severe side effects that I had grown weary of tolerating.  

To clarify, I am NOT anti-medication. Medication can and does help people in many cases and there is absolutely a place for them. However, when the costs outweigh the benefits, I believe we need to look for safe alternatives; so that is what I did. 

After six years on my prescription, I had developed severe gastrointestinal (GI) side effects, or “leaky gut.” This is a known side effect. Sadly, my doctor dismissed it as something that can’t be tested or measured, despite my acute and nearly constant pain. 

Changing your lifestyle sounds like such a cliche until you actually try it. It’s hard work, and it takes planning and a willingness to disappoint other people if and when necessary. It takes removing temptations entirely from your environment. It also takes a really, really important reason. 

Sure, I wanted to feel better and get out of pain, but mostly I wanted to gain back my freedom from this prescription I no longer felt was helping me. I did not want to be that dependent on anything but God. And it was harming my body as well. Being strung along against my will just would not do any longer; it was clear to me then that it didn’t fit with what I believe. But soon I came to realize there were many other ways it didn’t fit me. 

Self Control

To help prepare my prescription-dependent brain and body to wean off, I committed to clean foods. I committed to investing a bit more in my health and purchasing organic fruit and vegetables, grass-fed meat, and pasture raised eggs. I went gluten, grain, soy, dairy, corn, caffeine, alcohol, processed/added sugar, potato, and peanut free on September 3rd, 2019. 

Miraculously, I stuck faithfully to this for the first six months (I followed a fantastic book’s plan which also included some supplements—with my doctor’s approval). This meant that suddenly, cooking became a much bigger part of life. In order to make it work for me and my personality as much as possible, I got rid of everything in my kitchen that had any ingredients I couldn’t eat and replaced them all with plan-friendly alternatives, like swapping soy sauce for coconut aminos, or white flour with almond flour. To help myself with self-control, I needed to minimize temptation. 

I was going to make sure that I was welcome in my own kitchen, even if nowhere else. 

I armed myself with plenty of versatile, fun recipes to try, like Thai chicken soup and spiced stir fry, so I never got bored within the ingredient limitations. I can count on one hand the times in those first six months that I ate anything I didn’t prepare myself—mostly times when I was out with friends. Most of those times I was eating within my ingredient restrictions, but none of those instances went particularly well. The cross-contamination was likely just too high. However my body was, thankfully, able to recover more quickly than before I started the elimination diet.

My previously constant GI symptoms mostly disappeared around the two-month mark of being on this plan, around early November 2019. Let me repeat that, 

It took only two months of diligence in self control for my leaky gut symptoms to disappear. 

That’s when I started feeling really good, relieved, energized, and motivated to keep going. I stuck to it through tempting holiday foods at Thanksgiving and Christmas with no unmanageable cravings.  

For anyone who believes inflammation or GI symptoms can’t be helped from diet and supplements alone, from the foods and plants that God’s earth provides for us, I am living proof that they can. 

After four months, I felt my body had gotten accustomed to the diet and was still feeling good. Finally, I was ready to stop taking my prescription in late December (again, with my doctor’s approval). I also started some more intense supplements to help repair intestinal damage and support my liver function even more. At that point, I’d done all I could do and prayed to God, asking Him to take care of the rest. I’d reached the first milestone—four months of eating for my health. Would it pay off? Could depression and other medication withdrawal side effects really be staved off? 

I continued faithfully with the diet through January. By late February, I had no negative side effects of stopping my prescription. I was both shocked and delighted. I could begin the food reintroduction phase of the elimination diet.

First, I tried reintroducing gluten, then dairy, corn, rice, potatoes, and peanuts. Each time I felt mildly tired and lethargic. It wasn’t painful, but I knew how great it was to feel at my best, and surprisingly, even just the “mild,” pain-free cost was no longer worth it to me. I could try reintroduction of these things again after a few months; these costs can lessen over time. For now, I only eat these ingredients in small amounts and very occasionally.  

I reintroduced oats with no negative symptoms, so I now eat them regularly. Because of the way my body reacts to them, I have not tried and have no plans to reintroduce soy, caffeine, alcohol, or added sugars—maybe ever.  

I am still very much in the middle of my self-control journey, but I’ve learned a lot in just one year.

Before starting an elimination diet, I didn’t restrict myself at all as to what, how much, or when I eat. But all these factors affect our bodies, and in turn our minds and spirits as well. Proverbs 25:28 reads, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” This past year’s elimination diet has been more than a diet, it has been a process of first realizing that my own internal “city” had some broken walls, and then putting the walls back together, piece by piece, day by day, meal by meal. Excess of anything without restriction, and ultimately gluttony, isn’t the Way of Jesus. In fact, it is in opposition to it. 

In an elimination diet mindset, you have to die to your will, forget about what you want to eat or feel pressure to eat, and follow the plan, because it’s the best thing for you and your health. Sounds familiar, right? Similarly, I can’t just go and do or say whatever I want because I have chosen to yield to the authority of Jesus. 

You can deny yourself and pick up your cross even when it comes to food choices.

Specifically, picking up my cross means loving God, loving others, and loving myself. Was eating whatever, whenever, even when it was harmful for my body, in line with my beliefs–in line with loving myself? For me, it was not. Treating my body in any way other than as the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is was not loving myself. It was suppressing who I am, mind, body, and spirit. My mind made excuses for it, my body tried in vain to compensate for it, and my spirit was dissatisfied by the whole thing. If I hadn’t suffered with the intolerable symptoms of leaky gut that tipped the scale for me to take action, I shudder at the thought that I might still be in that place.  

I honestly was blind to the issues with eating whatever whenever before I actually started taking the actions of preparing and eating the right foods. Usually, our thoughts motivate our actions, but sometimes our actions help clarify our thoughts when it comes to the Truth–this was one of those profound times for me. 

Restricting my diet helped me gain a sense of self-control that I didn’t have before, and it healed a part of my spirit and mind in the process!

I started out last August dreading a restrictive elimination diet, thinking I would fail and feel terrible about myself, but today, thanks be to God, the opposite is true. I feel happier with myself having acted on it and seeing it through faithfully. My friends didn’t abandon me, in fact, they fully supported me in my health journey; now looking back I wonder why I didn’t think that they would! 

Sticking to something healthy for my body was an act of love for self, which I now see as an act of love for God. I wasn’t compromising my peace of mind or arteries anymore for a greasy, sweet takeout meal. I was doing what I set out to do for my health and well being, letting God take care of the rest. And that’s exactly where I’d ever want to be! 

Trust God 

I learned that God gave us an amazing array of foods that can interact with our bodies in some very healing and restorative ways. 

This journey on an elimination diet helped me to learn that looking at food with this perspective can free us from wanting to make the unhealthy diet choices constantly being marketed to us via all forms of media. It also gave me a whole new layer of self agency—I was at a point with diet a year ago where I didn’t believe I could resist some of the food marketing (doughnut commercials, anyone?), and now that I’ve gone through it, I believe it is possible for anyone. 

Eating differently and making food choices for my health led me to see food differently; I thought it was interesting to note that it didn’t happen the other way around–the perspective shift came by doing. In the day-to-day, I have learned that self control over my food choices is ultimately much more satisfying to my soul, and is much more in line with who I am and what I believe, than indulgence. 

Now, I am still on this journey! I have had some recent, though much less severe, health issues show up that are still in need of full healing. I am fine-tuning, working with doctors and experimenting with natural supplements to support overall health and heal the root issue of symptoms instead of taking medications to mask them, as I had before. Natural, “God-made” ingredients are the way I want to go whenever possible. I would not have thought a natural remedy was even a legitimate option had I not gone through the food journey I went on this year or experienced the healing I did. 

My elimination diet process showed me how deeply our bodies are connected to the health of our minds and spirits, and that our bodies are equally important for our overall health. 

God provides what we need to heal, and change is possible no matter how intimidating, when it comes to being more of who God made you to be and living out your beliefs about Him. 

I had to let go of some things in my life to live out what I believe and live out my trust in God. I now have a desire to continue taking action and walking in trust, to continuously act on trust that God provided me with a body that can adapt, heal, and thrive on the foods that He made, instead of the (in my case) harmful chemicals that man made. 

When we pay attention to and love our bodies, and what information they are giving us about our health (they always do!), we love ourselves and fulfill His commandment to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). By allowing God to heal us, and walking in that healing, we become a living testament of His goodness.

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).

“...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love” (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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Characteristics of God: Restorer of Wholeness

We might hear the message that we are whole and good enough just as we are. There is of course an important level of truth to that idea. It appeals to the best parts of who we are as uniquely crafted, individually beautiful humans; there are certainly times when it feels true. But we must be careful not deceive ourselves, either.

This is the first post in the new blog series, Characteristics of God, unpacking the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

On the level of our souls, there is a constant need in our brokenness that only Jesus’ work on the cross can fill to wholeness again. Who we are IS good enough, but only in Jesus. Inherited and committed sin leaves us in a state of brokenness which we simply cannot restore without Jesus. We were made for relationship with Him, to walk alongside Him in the Garden (Genesis 3:8-9).     

God never intended us to be broken people in the first place. 

The world has tried to make us forget about the consequences of sin. It distracts us in some surprisingly predictable ways. Worldly glory is not sustainable and does not satisfy. Only what we were made for, right relationship with God, can truly satisfy us. Who we truly are and who we were made to be by God is not understood by the world, which tells us only partial truths about ourselves. Pride and fear become traps that some cannot escape. But the whole truth is available in Christ, who sets us free:  


“the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV). 

The Garden of Eden was the ideal place that God carefully created for us to dwell in with Him. He made it perfect and holy. We do not have many details about the Garden in the Bible, but we do know that trees grew there and bore fruit (Genesis 2:9) and two very important ones were placed in the center; there was a river flowing from it (2:10), animals were allowed into it, and it was set up with an East-facing entrance (3:24). I like to imagine that perhaps God particularly enjoyed watching the sunrise.    

When sin entered in, we couldn’t dwell with God’s presence and still live. We were banished from this most holy place. We couldn’t walk next to God anymore, as we had been intended for. We couldn’t talk with Him while watching how His facial expressions or His posture communicated to us as we now do with friends. 

There was a time when God literally walked beside us.

After we were forced to leave the Garden, God’s actual presence (as opposed to a burning bush, a pillar of fire, etc.) was much more scarce, and His face was hidden from us.

But thankfully, we weren’t the only ones unhappy about it. Sin and all, God didn’t intend for us to stay away from Him. For one example, in Exodus, Moses and the Israelite leaders are allowed to eat in God’s presence on Mount Sinai, to celebrate the covenant made between them and God, “Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky. But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank” (Exodus 24:10-11).   

God longs to enjoy us and give us a way to enjoy Him, despite the consequences of our sin! 

Since we left the Garden, God has been working on the steps of restoration to bring us back to wholeness, culminating in the Person of Jesus. This celebration of the covenant, the Israelites eating and drinking in the presence of God, was a huge step in that journey of restoring humanity to wholeness. 

Just a few chapters later in Exodus, God gives Moses the details for constructing the tabernacle. The tabernacle, though a movable tent, was precisely described, and it even was made to face the same direction as Eden. Like Eden, it was intended to be a place where God’s presence would be with His people. The tabernacle, designed by God Himself but made with human hands, was symbolic of the completeness and wholeness of the Garden (Ex. 26:6). 

We lack nothing in Him; in Him, we are whole.

Because God’s goodness was enough to make up for our lack, His infinite goodness can even reach beyond all our brokenness and beyond every tear.

Even though we inherited sin through our human family as descendants of of Adam and Eve, through Jesus we are grafted into His family. In the lineage of Jesus, He allows us the Way to take part in His inheritance of life instead. 

Opposite to the world’s system of give and take, in God’s Kingdom it is not about what we can do to get favor from Him, it is what He did for us in adopting us into His eternal family.  

Eternal life is inherited, not earned. 

We are no longer orphans in our brokenness, but instead we are restored to wholeness in our relationship with our loving, good, and gracious Father. There is nothing we could ever do that could earn life. We are fully dependent on God for our life and inheritance in eternal life. 

He is generous to give us more than we could ever deserve, restoring us to wholeness. 

It’s not about what we deserve but about who God is. 

None of us who are in Christ get what we deserve, and that’s a good thing! He is generous to us even though we don’t deserve it because He loves us.

Take heart, friends; there is a special place for those who are desperate for the wholeness found in Him–a place that He put ahead of His own life! He died to make us whole and complete, not lacking anything. Jesus restores us and renews us not just once, but continually, every day, every hour, every moment. He prays to the Father for us, even now (Romans 8:34). 

The symbols of wholeness in the Bible of the Garden and the tabernacle remind me of how Jesus desires us to be unified as one (John 17:11 & 21-32), as He prays to the Father, 

“that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21).   

As close as Jesus is with the Father, that’s how close God wants to be with us. He wants this for us and our good so much that He was willing to die for it; for you, and for me. 

God went to every last measure to restore us to Him. There was, is, and will be nothing that could separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). May we take great hope in this amazing picture of God’s restoration of our wholeness.

“because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:3-5). 

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The Fear of Death

Death is the last topic I thought I’d be writing about to kick off my blog’s second year. Yet, here we are; the highest highs always seem to bring to my mind the lowest lows right along with them. And perhaps that’s just as it should be. 

I’ve been taking morning walks lately, and one morning this week I walked to a park I haven’t been to for years, just outside of a well-manicured neighborhood. The park is all woodland, with a creek running through it. Once inside under the completely shaded canopy, I saw that the park itself seemed a completely different world from the sunny neighborhood just beyond. Instead of neatly trimmed grass, there was a mess of moss and fungi blanketing rotting logs. Instead of bushes full of blooms, there were downed trees with their roots exposed, brutally ripped up from the earth beneath. Instead of small blue jays or cardinals hopping about, there were two large, hulking black vultures, still and silent, perched in a pile of fallen leaves above the creek. 

These starkly different scenes just yards from each other perfectly illustrate how death and reminders of it are consciously kept out of sight and ignored as much as possible. 

Death is uncomfortable to think about.

Given how prevalent and obvious death is in this world, I’m interested in why this remains so. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know that we all have an innate sense of the fragility of our lives and our loved ones’ lives. 

Even so, we have to keep surviving, right? No time to think about death when we’re trying to survive. However, there comes a point at which facing death becomes absolutely key to fully embracing our humanity.    

According to the Bible, humans gave up the option to ignore the knowledge of good and evil long ago (Genesis 3:6); we simply don’t have the luxury anymore of being unconscious of it. In a podcast interview, psychologist Jordan Peterson posed the idea that perhaps the remedy now is to be fully or “all the way” conscious of good and evil, since we can’t go back to being “unconscious.” I like this idea, but whether it’s correct or not I think it holds true with the Good News of Christ.

Along with the knowledge of good and evil comes a responsibility to face the good and evil in us.

To face the evil in us could also be described as becoming conscious of our own sin. This is exactly what we must understand before we can sincerely repent; C.S. Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity. We realize the extent of our sin (evil) and the extent to which we need God’s grace (good) to free us from death’s grip. 

For repentance to come, we need to do something God didn’t design us to do–to stare death in the face. It is when we really see that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23)–and that death forces us into something we were not created for–that we can understand all that we’ve been saved from by Jesus and how truly amazing His grace really is. 

Turning from our willful ignorance of death to follow Jesus, the Master of death, means we will stop avoiding it and trust that He’s bigger than death itself, as well as every one of our fears.

If we knew the Master of death better, we wouldn’t be so afraid of our own death. 

Jesus came to master death and set us free. To use the woodland analogy, Jesus came to lay His life down, like a fallen tree in the forest, that we might live like a newly sprouted seed from the soil He provided by His act of love. 

Yet, death is still worthy of being sad about, something to deeply mourn and to grieve. Separation from loved ones, though temporary for believers in Jesus, is still deeply painful and still very much a loss. I want to be very clear that it is okay to grieve, mourn, and be sad when it comes to death, no matter who it is, whether or not they were believers. Grief is not something to be brushed aside or ignored.  

When my Jewish grandfather passed away years ago, I was able to experience a community that faced death together in a beautiful way. The love and support of my grandmother’s friends and family was hugely beneficial, even for me in my own grieving process, as they came to simply be present and literally “sit” with her. Shiva following a Jewish burial typically lasts for seven days, providing not only community support but food for the grieving first-degree relatives. 

There is great value in appreciating the seriousness and weight of death and taking time to acknowledge what our hearts are feeling. 

While our culture has lost the skill of being open about death and understanding of grief, we don’t have to when we stay close to Jesus and understand the truth He brings–that death is not the end. Jesus Himself spoke openly about death. He was not afraid to do so, predicting his own death several times. People who had experienced death also came to him in a state of grief. He didn’t turn them away but even grieved with them (John 11:35). He even chose to raise the sick girl (Matthew 9:25), and His friend Lazarus (John 11:44) back to life. 

While I don’t think it is healthy for death to be excessively avoided as a topic of conversation, I also want to make a point to say that an excessive focus on death is not the answer to any problems either. It is only by understanding how God intended life that we can understand death and see it for what it is, no more, and no less. Romanticization of death glorifies the wrong god. 

Life is a gift from God. 

Examining our feelings about death along with the truth of the Bible can give us a deeper appreciation of life and its meaning. Reading Genesis, we find that death as we know it was never meant to be. We were not built for it! We were created to walk with God and eat from the Tree of Life. Death was not in the original plan. 

It is no wonder that it can be so devastating to us psychologically, physically, and spiritually! Knowing this, it is completely natural to avoid death, and it makes perfect sense that we would brush traces of death aside because innately we know what we were intended for.  

Facing death is so hard because God never intended for us to experience it in the first place. 

Death may never stop being hard to face, but it need not take us by surprise, as it so often does. With Jesus’ wisdom and grace, we can explore our knowledge of good and evil. 

We can let Him help us through to the other side of fear as we examine what He says about life and death. We can begin to safely open ourselves up to facing the realities of death when we trust Jesus and His love for us, for there is no fear in love (1 John 4:18). 

Christ and His love sets us free.

The bigger the debt of sin we have been forgiven from, the more we will love Jesus for canceling it. The story in Luke 7 gets me every time, when Jesus forgave the sinful woman with the alabaster jar of perfume. 

Her display of gratitude for forgiveness led Jesus to tell those in His company, “...Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little” (Luke 7:47). When we are conscious and aware of our sins, fully acknowledging our need like this woman, gratitude for our canceled debt leads us to a life full of love and peace. 

As I was headed back from that morning walk in the decaying woodland park, walking once again past neatly spaced out trees and colorful blossoms, these words came to my heart, “All that was lost will be restored to you.” 

That is what God does; He restores what is lost, damaged, sick, even dead, in and for us. 

The very first book of the Bible that was written was Job, which speaks to and confirms this simply, “If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored . . .” (Job 22:23).

The last book of the Bible speaks of the restored life that God will bring to His people: “[His servants] will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads” (Revelation 22:4). How amazing that the story (which is not ours but God’s) that is unfolding will end in God calling us, servants created to glorify and enjoy Him, by His own name. 

Think of the intimacy of giving someone else your name, or of taking someone else’s. That is the intimacy God intends for us to have with Him. What vulnerability and trust to be called by His name! Death is not the end, but rather this beautiful picture of restored, everlasting life in the family of God.

“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his” (Romans 6:5). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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Life with the King Turns One!

Sharing words with the world has been one of the scariest and most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve always loved writing, but only since last year did I get up the courage to share it for the world to read.

The idea to share a behind-the-scenes peek into Life with the King (LWTK) came from a question from one of YOU fantastic readers: Where did you start and how are you finding contentment and creativity in artistic style?

I always love hearing your ideas; thank you for reflecting with me on the first year of the Life with the King blog!

Why start writing in the first place?

Just like many of the stories I tell in this blog, it all started with an internal struggle. 

I have wanted to be a writer almost as long as I’ve been able to read. The problem was, I didn’t know what I would write about. The more I learned, the more I learned how much I didn’t know, and the more I doubted that what I had to say would be either new or helpful. 

I also knew that if my writing wasn’t vulnerable, it wouldn’t be great. And I wanted to write something great. I didn’t, however, want to be vulnerable. So, I put writing off. 

I journaled off and on; I wrote occasional poems and plays and essays. But I never called myself a writer.

I thought about starting a blog many times in my 20s. In 2012 I experimented with a travel blog and gleefully documented one of my trips nearly every day. But when it came to writing about life and meaning, the things that interested and fascinated me the most, the task seemed just beyond my reach. 

I can’t properly explain how, but I knew intuitively that I didn’t have the life experience yet to produce the depth of content that I wanted to be able to share. I was aware enough to know a well of wisdom about this topic existed, and also that I needed more years in flesh and blood reality to anchor whatever it is I’d write about in that wisdom. So I waited, telling myself I’d write something great someday, trying to make myself feel better about not really doing what I loved. I told myself for years that I just had to be patient. To trust that someday writing would find me again.

How did LWTK start? 

During my 20s, reality developed. I moved twice, had 3 jobs, 3 relationships, a family crisis or two, and a personal crisis of faith. Last year, I finally had a story that I was ready to tell. 

It was then that writing became something I could no longer not do. Speaking to the question of contentment, I was at a point where I just wasn’t content until I started taking steps toward sharing my story through writing. I took this as a clear signal that writing this story was at least part of what I was meant to do here on this earth. 

Yes, part of me felt it was a little self-indulgent to be writing about myself and my experience directly. But again the contentment wasn’t there until I sort of held my nose and did so. After all, writers must write what they know. Artists must express what they feel and observe. That’s the only way I know of to be honest, and honest writing is all I’d ever want to read. Or offer.  

Despite being completely terrified, I published my first blog post one year ago today. I told my friends, “If only one person is helped and doesn’t feel alone in their faith experience, it’ll all be worth it.”

Needless to say now, it’s been more than worth it. 

It’s been a life-giving creative outlet to write my story with the Lord, sharing what He has taught me in the process of rebuilding shattered faith. 

And there is so much more to share that goes beyond the scope of this blog. My hopes to write that book someday are now more alive than ever, all starting with saying “YES!” to obey that tug on my heart. 

Behind the Scenes 

To get a little more vulnerable still, the writing journey while mostly positive hasn’t been all rosey. There was so much passion and momentum when this began a year ago. Not only that, but I was also helped and inspired by my sister Abby, who had launched her own blog just a month before. In those first couple of weeks, we packed our laptops on our family beach trip to keep consistent with our blogging. Without an internet connection where we were staying, we simply got up early nearly every day and drove off to find air conditioned WiFi, leaving the family asleep to work on our writing together. The first few weeks were relatively easy because of the excitement around it and the forethought I had put into a handful of topics.

However writing on my own was harder. Topics eventually run out. Blogging took time, discipline, and energy that I had underestimated in the initial rush of novelty. I soon struggled to post blogs weekly, working a full time job as well as a part time job. Discouragement set in and I stopped posting for several weeks at a time, not because I wanted to stop, but because I had to. I couldn’t continue if I was associating the blog with a feeling I dreaded.  

Because I love this blog. It took a great deal of time, attention, and planning to get it up and running. I have pages and pages of notes just from working out what to call it. I talked to friends about their own blogs and what they learned along the way. The online hosting process alone took me weeks to set up. I set up a post structure to keep me focused before I ever started writing content. 

Just because it was tough and discouraging at times didn’t mean I was going to give up on the blog. 

And that’s exactly how God feels about us. 

God didn’t give up on me, even when I quit on Him. He will never give up on you either.

This time, I wasn’t going to let go of the opportunity I’d been given that easily; I had already done that whole letting-discouragement-stop-me thing in my 20s. Not anymore.

How do you feel about the blog now?

I remember telling my family this January, “I finally feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.” 

Writing is my act of obedience to God. There is meaning in the sharing of Life with the King, and that makes the pain I endured apart from Him have a purpose now. Writing is indeed my way of artistic expression. Bringing truth and light to the darkness is what God does. My aim for LWTK is to bring attention to what I see God doing. We all need a reminder to look for it, myself included.

Today, I can call myself a writer. Today, I can say that God is Good.

I hope Life with the King will continue to encourage you as it begins its second year; no matter how desperate or painful your faith journey might seem, God hasn’t and won’t ever give up on you. Even when you don’t see Him or experience His presence. Even when you don’t believe Him. There is still hope, and joy is still possible. 

Don’t give up. You are not alone, and there is grace even here. 

“I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever” (Psalm 145:1-2).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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A Closer Look at God’s Forgiveness

Do we really need to forgive ourselves?  

I’ve been seriously wrestling with this question for five years. I’ve fervently tried, but I was never able to feel settled with the statement that I had “forgiven myself.” 

The thing is, I knew I hadn’t fully. I wasn’t even sure I could. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that I am dust and just couldn’t shake the truth that without God’s grace through Jesus I am unforgivable, flawed, and hopelessly sinful. That is what makes God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrifice for us so incredibly difficult to comprehend. Offering grace to ourselves is not always an easy task, even on our best days. 

Lately I’ve been working very hard on accepting the truth, even if it’s not pretty or what I or others would want to hear. Jesus had to come and forgive me; I can’t forgive myself on my own. Without His grace (upon grace…) I am not gracious enough toward myself to forgive fully. I can’t pardon myself from the sins I’ve committed or fix my fallen nature. I can’t absolve myself of guilt. Only Jesus can do that.  

Forgiving ourselves is not done on our own strength, it’s about leaning on the forgiveness Jesus already offers to us.

I can’t shake the truth that I desperately need Jesus’ forgiveness. It is His forgiveness that allows me to forgive others, and myself. We are not meant to live under the weight of heavy guilt; instead, we are meant to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:30). As He calls us to follow Him, He invites us to come to Him and accept the forgiveness He has for us. 

In accepting His forgiveness, we believe the unbelievable, that what God says really is true, and that Jesus’ work on the cross really was enough. We are made in His image, so we all have the capacity to forgive, but Jesus teaches us how to do this. Jesus enables us to forgive, wholly and truly, through and through.   

Through His amazing grace, we may extend complete grace to ourselves and others.

We can start to see ourselves through His eyes when we accept His forgiveness. And we might need to choose to accept it several times every day! Just as we have to choose to take up our cross daily, we must also choose to accept His forgiveness as we continue to make mistakes, doubt our own faith, or struggle to show grace to ourselves and others. 

Forgiveness is a choice God made in relation to us. We do not have to do anything to earn it, a strange feeling in our world where so much must be earned. Accepting God’s choice to forgive us despite what we may feel about ourselves at any given moment isn’t always so easy. (I mean, did He see what I did? If I’m disgusted in me, then surely He is, right?) Wrong. He loves and forgives us unconditionally. And He knew that you were going to do whatever it is you did, but that doesn’t change a thing. 

Jesus already paid the full price for our forgiveness. As we believe this, the Holy Spirit lives in us and loves us as part of His own family. This is the fact; feelings that keep us from believing we can be forgiven are not fact.  

It’s okay to give your feelings time to catch up with facts. 

It is not okay, however, to let feelings blind you to facts. The facts are that God loves you, Jesus paid the price for you, and that you are forgiven and free in Him. How amazing that we do not have to do anything more than believe to receive His forgiveness! And even more than this, His forgiveness empowers us to forgive to greater depths than we ever could on our own strength.                  

Yet, we are ever-tempted to give in to the false feelings that are not of God, of guilt and shame. For some of us, these feelings might be a comfortable place to be. But these feelings were never meant to linger and we were never meant to dwell among them. Jesus said, “...it is necessary that temptations come…” (Matthew 18:7). Temptations and disobedience will happen, but it doesn’t erase what God has done or who we are in Him at all. Guilt and shame must be dealt with yet moved through, for we are meant to dwell in Jesus’ freedom. 

When God leads us through temptations to the other side, He shows us who He is, for He walks with us the whole way.

Not only am I aware that I am dust, but God is aware too (Psalm 103:14), and He has mercy for that. He knows we will be tempted to choose not to believe the facts and go with our feelings. 

In fact, God uses even these temptations for His glory, “For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all” (Romans 11:32). He gives us no reason to fear. He knows we need Him, and He forgives us for being human.   

It’s okay to accept God’s forgiveness.  

In reference to Romans 8:33, the ESV Study Bible notes, “Satan, their enemies, or even their own consciences may bring charges against God’s elect, but those who have come to faith in Christ will never be found guilty, for God declares them to be right before all the world at the divine tribunal.”

This means we will face charges in our own thoughts and consciences, and it’s not a question of if but when–this will happen. It does not change the fact that Jesus Christ cleared us of our charges and forgave us. 

Asking God to forgive us, and believing He does, is enough.  

Paul wrote, “For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law (Romans 3:28). We do not have to work and do extra to earn forgiveness. Forgiveness is not earned, it is given. He asks us to have faith in Him; His forgiveness for us doesn’t depend on our striving or achieving. 

We don’t have to strive to earn freedom from guilt, instead, we are invited to have faith that we are forgiven. 

In Matthew, it says, “with God all things are possible” (19:26). As we struggle with forgiving ourselves, let us take heart in knowing that we can rest because of who Jesus is, what He has done, and what He, even now, is doing on our behalf; “Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). 

Not only has he paid the price for our forgiveness, but He continually works on our behalf; we have no need to strive because of Him.

May we let it all rest in Jesus. 

“God is for us, so who can be against us” (Romans 8:31)?

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

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The Profound Sufficiency of Christ

The ugliness of this world has been exposed, maybe more than anyone alive today has ever seen, in these draining days of COVID-19, political unrest, and violence. Quarreling in and among friends over how to think about these issues seems to be the new norm. 

My soul, along with that of many others, is heavy for this world. The impact of the many stresses on society takes a toll on us individually, with deep uncertainty about the future. There is still no clear end in sight. This is nothing new under the sun, yet aspects are new to us and the globe. 

Can our souls find real rest in this kind of world? We will not find answers in delusion, nor will we will find them in the world itself. This world has never been sufficient to fulfill us, and that truth is now starkly apparent to all who are willing to see. 

I’ve been struck this week with the profound truth of Christ’s sufficiency, and wanted to share thoughts about His infinite goodness, even in the face of 2020. He knew of all the suffering and pain that would happen this year; He endured the painful weight of it on the cross long ago.   

What does Christ’s declaration, “My grace is sufficient” (2 Corinthians 12:9) mean for us?

There is hope in the midst of pain, even now! Especially now. Let us pause for a moment and let it sink in that even now, God has already provided for us, our every need, by His infinite grace. How immeasurable His grace is to completely cover the pain of this world! 

We can’t earn or make fulfillment for ourselves in this world no matter how much we try. There is no perfect human system that will “fix” everything or “solve the problems.” Should we still try? Absolutely. We certainly must seek justice and defend the oppressed (Isaiah 1:17) in every way we can. However, the world’s problems all stem from sin, which only Christ has the authority to address. Putting all of our hope (and attention) in human solutions will do nothing but let us down again.  

Hope that lasts can only be found in Christ. 

Christ Jesus declared through the Apostle Paul that His grace is sufficient. He has provided for the lasting fulfillment of each and every soul by addressing the sin that plagues it head on. His grace is sufficient to cover our sin–and the vast chasm that formed between us and God the Father when sin entered humanity. 

To clarify, I do not believe that God is at fault for our sin in any way. This world the way it is is not the result of God’s mess-up. I believe that after humans chose to sin, God then had a choice to make, and chose for sin to operate the way it does now for the ultimate good of all; as it is written, “For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all” (Romans 11:32).

It is God’s character not to set us up for failure, but to show us all His great mercy. 

His grace is sufficient to give us hope for a future in the presence of our merciful, good, loving Father. What Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12 of the sufficiency of Jesus speaks of hope in the midst of frustrating human limitation:        

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7b-10).

I can’t help but think of COVID-19 and long-standing physical violence as similar both to Paul’s “thorn” and to the “weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties” he endured. Disease and violence have plagued humanity for millennia, and they have clearly not gone away. Yet, by Jesus’ sufficient grace, we like Paul can delight even when these things are upon us. Jesus gives us the ability to delight in our lives in 2020!

Christ is not just sufficient to ease our minds about an afterlife, He is sufficient to give us life in the present. 

Romans 8:35 says that even tribulation, distress, persecution, danger, and sword are unable to separate us from the love of Jesus. His love and grace are what truly provide for our souls, which die without hope. Hopelessness and depression in this life are some of the worst things imaginable. Jesus continually meets us in this soul level struggle, meeting our deepest needs and insufficiencies today. 

As we walk through life today, let us take hope in the amazing truth that Christ Jesus is sufficient for us. Even and perhaps particularly amidst weakness and difficulty, He is sufficient. Jesus may not take away this world’s troubles (John 16:33) immediately, but He provides unending grace that is sufficient to satisfy our souls’ longing for fulfillment and hope.   

Jesus is enough to cover every need.

His goodness is vast enough to cover all that our own human goodness cannot. He is sufficient to cover every longing. He is sufficient to give us hope.

Christ is sufficient. 

By His sufficient grace, may Jesus change our hearts, strengthening us to step into life, freedom, and hope right where we are today.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

“…If God is for us who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn?” (Romans 8:31b-34a).

“…in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, not angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, as it really helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace to you.

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Justice, Jesus, and the Human Heart

The shockwaves of the nation have hit my heart deeply. They have exposed the lurking darkness within each one of us. The ugliness has made clear that we’re not where we need to be. We’re not treating every human equally. We’re not loving our neighbors as ourselves.

2020 seems to have brought the perfect storm of tragedy, and I’m still reeling. I’m still processing. But I hope to start in this post to express the grief I’m feeling for and with my brothers and sisters, and to point to the hope Jesus provides us, even still. I willingly join with Christ, my brothers, and my sisters, in the suffering that comes with standing for both justice and mercy. It seems to me to be the only way to leave the darkness behind for good. 

“Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer” (2 Timothy 2:3-4). 

This has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with people. Where there are people suffering, God is there. As God’s people we need to be there too. We will know and feel what His heart feels as His Spirit dwells within us. Walking with Jesus means walking not only outside of the affairs of the world, but also straight into the affairs of the heart. There is no place more earthly than the heart, and God is now allowing this battleground, where evil has long prevailed, to be stormed. While it is not our job to change others’ hearts, for only God can do that, it is our job to speak truth in love. Speaking truth in love is just, loving, and humble. 

“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). 

After hundreds of years of His people in slavery, God called Moses to lead them out of their oppressive conditions and treatment in Egypt. I believe God is calling our country and the world to face the oppression inflicted upon one another, whether that’s physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, economically, opportunistically, or otherwise. All of it needs to be reexamined; all of it needs to be changed for the better. And we can do better because Jesus made a way for hearts to be changed, purified by His blood, and set on the good of all.

Jesus is the Way to love our neighbors as ourselves.

God said to Cain of the sin in his heart, “you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). 2000 years have passed since Jesus made a way to be set free from that sin. If we are free of it, why is it still lingering? Sin forms habits too. But habits can be broken. In fact, studies have shown that it takes only about 21 days to break most habits. The events of these past weeks have been a challenge to individually break the habit of seeing others as less than ourselves. 

We must make a new habit, that of loving others as ourselves. It is one of the two highest commands of God (Matthew 22:39). And He has made a Way for us to rule over our human tendency for sin and to love instead. He has made it possible, we must intentionally break the ingrained habit and make it our reality. This true reality of loving our neighbors as we walk in the Kingdom of God is where we can live and be fully alive.  

“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:37-39).  

It is not a time to be afraid, the life lived for and in the Kingdom is better than any other life we may be used to or comfortable with. In the Kingdom of God, we are no longer bound to the life for a life system of justice. We see this with Israel, the firstborn of God, being spared in exchange for the death of the firstborn of Egypt. Jesus ended that cycle when He became the ultimate sacrifice for our sin. 

Deaths and animal sacrifice no longer need to occur to atone for our sin, because Jesus, the sinless One, broke our cycle of brokenness. Jesus brought a Way to the entire earth that rescues our sinful, arrogant, prideful, prejudiced souls from the darkness, and brings them to the light in Him. By His power, and only by His power, we can overcome sin and death. 

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:26-28). 

Right before the 10th and final plague God brought upon Egypt, He reassured Moses: “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Pharaoh will not listen to you, that my wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt’” (Exodus 11:9). My prayer is that all of these horrors, all of this pain and suffering, all of the oppression and bondage in sin and darkness would powerfully bring to light the wonder of God to us in our land. As God’s sovereignty and wonder was made apparent in Egypt, may it be made apparent and bring Him all the glory in our world today. May we take comfort and joy in the fact that God multiplies His wonders out of the most dire situations. 

Friends, let’s keep our eyes on the light of the Lord’s promises, even in the midst of deepest darkness. 

“But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream” (Amos 5:24). 

“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with each other in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3). 

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). 

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Purpose in Patience

I can think of many instances throughout life in which I’ve been impatient. I’ve been impatient to make friends at a new school, to succeed in a new job, and to just get to the next place I’m dreaming of. 

How many times have we all believed that to get somewhere, we were the ones who would have to make it happen? This is common advice. But is that actually the best advice to follow? 

While I am absolutely an advocate of taking personal responsibility for our lives, I find this motivating, feel-good piece of advice dangerous because it can easily lead people farther off the path of patience and into a state of hurry, striving, and impatience. That state of impatience seems to be preferred over the alternative state of feeling dissatisfied with the present condition of our lives. 

Have you ever been so eager about something you expected for your future that you tried to rush ahead before you were ready? Abraham did that too. Or maybe you spent months or years not knowing what you were supposed to do with your life? Moses could relate. Both situations are a real test of patience. 

Humans are meant to progress and grow, and when we aren’t doing so, it can drive us to go too far or do things that we might later regret. At least the impatient option provides the feeling of moving forward, right? But what if there was another state to choose from–a third option? 

There is purpose in the here and now, no matter how you feel. 

Here and now is all we ever have, but it can be difficult to think of life that way. In fact, as humans we are uniquely wired to expect the future to always be there. 

What is God teaching us in the discomfort, whether feeling impatient or stuck? It is important to pay attention to our feelings here, they are a warning sign that we are getting too far away from God’s best for us. We must learn how to avoid the temptation of rushing ahead of God’s will for our lives. When we don’t know what our purpose is, it can be easy to get filled with our own ideas about what’s best and run ahead. Often in the wrong direction entirely. 

To change this cycle, to factor God’s purpose into the equation, requires a shift in belief that goes against the world’s view:

Our life is not something that “we make happen,” but instead something that God makes happen. 

Some of us have already been given a glimpse as to what that life is going to look like in the future, and some of us don’t know until after we’ve already gotten started. But God is preparing us all for a life of deep meaning and purpose, doing the work He has uniquely designed for us. He’ll lead us to do incredible work in His name that will last to the New Earth. 

But are we patient enough to wait for His timing for this beautiful vision? Patient enough to wait for our maturity to catch up with a life that goes beyond our biggest dreams? Thinking back on my own life and how many times God has been willing to accept me back after running ahead of His will simply baffles me. God is patient, even when we aren’t.

The apostle Peter provides insight into the virtue of patience as a characteristic of God: “He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

No matter where we are, impulsive or directionless, God is patient with us. 

We can take reassurance in that. He knows it takes time to grow. He knows we need time to mature and uncover our gifts and develop our strengths. When we are ready, no earlier and no later, but at exactly the right moment, God will then make a way for the purpose He has for us. We don’t have to strive to make this happen ourselves. In fact, even trying distracts us from the here and now moment that is meant to serve our greater purpose.

Each and every one of us is called to the same initial purpose: to repent. For a discussion on repentance, click here. We need only to be willing. To repent opens doors of possibility. God has plans for our lives after repentance, plans that will go beyond everything we could ask for or imagine. In His great mercy, God is patient with us, allowing us the time we need to repent, grow, and meet His call. 

God’s patience is a sign of salvation! (2 Peter 3:15).

“Okay that sounds great,” you might be thinking, “God’s patience is overwhelmingly merciful and loving, but real talk, how can I myself be patient right here and now when here and now is so tough?” I hear you. How can we develop this fruit of the Spirit? 

Colossians 3 says that in Christ we have been brought to fullness, that God made you alive in Christ, and canceled our condemnation. This frees us to live a life of patience. Because God has given abundant patience to us, we in turn are equipped by Him to be patient with how our lives unfold, with ourselves, and with others. The key is keeping our eyes fixed on Him and not on our pain. We must intentionally stay inspired by Him and in tune with the ways He is working. 

We must not run ahead, but walk alongside Him.   

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,” (Colossians 3:12).

Being chosen by God and loved by Him gives us every reason to be patient! We have no need to hurry through our lives any longer. We no longer have to be subject to the constant striving for more in this world, but instead to keep pace with God. 

The apostle Paul wrote, “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14). We are to have grace and show patience toward people when they show their humanity, their weaknesses. And sometimes, maybe even most of the time, we’ll need to show patience to ourselves too. 

Paul was one of the most patient people, maybe ever. Imprisoned for long periods, he patiently waited out his sentence. He wrote, “But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life” (1 Timothy 1:16). We see in Paul’s life:

Faith leads to passionate patience. 

It all starts with the faith and repentance of the sinner; that’s every one of us, me and you. We must die to this world and its toxic values to be resurrected in Christ. The resurrection of our souls in Christ gives way to a life in which God is in control, a life in which we are transformed into a new creation, and held in perfect patience as we walk beside Him.  

If something is holding you back from stepping into the patience that God freely gives us all in Christ, please reach out, I’d love to pray for you. 

It’s okay to stop trying to earn what God has already given us. 

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12). 

“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,” (2 Timothy 2:24). 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” (Galatians 5:22). 

Further suggested reading: 

Garden City by John Mark Comer

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer 

To Hell with the Hustle by Jefferson Bethke

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The Family of God

There was a time when I didn’t understand what the family of God meant, or why it was important. I believed that you could follow God in isolation from other believers. But this was a pride-comes-before-the-fall kind of belief. 

We were never created to live in isolation from our family, from other believers in Jesus. We need each others’ help on our life journey. While solitude with God is a beautiful thing, and some people can enjoy it for years at a time, living in Western culture and in a capitalist society, we need a network of people to keep us accountable, help us when we can’t sustain our own connection with God, and pray for us (Hebrews 10:25). 

Finding a family of believers to belong to is difficult.

It takes some serious consideration, prayer, and discernment. And it often takes quite a long time. It can be a frustrating and discouraging process to find people we can trust to walk alongside us. But we mustn’t give up. God provides for His children. Also, do you find it as amazing as I do that we are called children of God, and called part of God’s family? 

We are counted as offspring (Romans 9:8). 

“He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God” (John 1:11-13). 

When we are new to following Jesus, we don’t always know what to look for. We might be attracted to churches who do a lot of outreach projects, host a lot of events, or offer a lot of resources. But primarily, we must look for people who love God and obey His commandments (1 John 5:2). That also means we must be willing to be and do the same.

No one is perfect at this except Jesus Himself, so we must have grace for ourselves and others in this area. But our hearts must be oriented and surrendered to our love for God. Finding a family like that is worth the wait. 

Is a Church Home Necessary?

We aren’t meant to carry our crosses in isolation. We are meant to be part of the family of God, the body of Christ, to strengthen, encourage, and inspire us as we all strive to obey God’s commands. Our family is a blessing from God, and something to respect. 

Whether you attend church or not, it is important that we have a community to be in dialogue with about God, and what He’s speaking and teaching us. It is also important to support and be supported in order to grow in our walk. If you don’t have one already, I’d encourage you to start a Bible study with others who are just as interested in learning about God as you are. Make it a regular part of your life. Churches can offer and arrange these, but in some seasons of life, it may be more useful to start your own with people you know. Always pray and seek God’s direction with this, the same as everything in your walk. 

Obedience

Jesus chose obedience to God’s will, which meant ultimately surrendering everything for His love of God and us. Obedience is not something to be taken lightly. Obedience brings blessing; it actually unlocks the promises of God in our lives, because in obedience we are actively demonstrating our love for God. 

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him?” (James 2:14). 

Obedience can be at its most difficult when we are experiencing some type of suffering. As the Israelites in Exodus 5, we can be subjected to more suffering than we ever expected, even when our intentions are good and in service to God. What if, in those times of suffering, God is actually showing patience towards us as He did with the Israelites? What if as in that story He is actually allowing us more time to learn to trust Him with a lasting trust? 

No matter how troubling the circumstances, the identity God has given us as His children does not change. No matter how evil the days, deliverance both has come and is coming! Take heart, our times of suffering teach us and form our character to be able to withstand every doubt to the very end. That is, after all, what we really need.

Remember that God is a good Father who loves us enough to give us what we need! It is exactly in these times that our family of believers becomes vital; we can lean on our family to keep us headed in the right direction when our faith is tested or when our suffering becomes overwhelming. 

What it Means to Take Up Our Cross 

Some days, the only reason we will take up our cross is because we want to obey God. We probably won’t feel like obeying God on most days. But it is a command. Thankfully, taking up our cross means more than just endurance of suffering. It means taking an active role in bringing life itself.

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:23-25). 

God commands us to first deny ourselves, then to take up our cross, and finally, to follow Him. It must go in that order. The first step of denying the self, or the ego, is where we often get tripped up. We must die to ourselves. Okay, well that sounds pretty serious, right? Here’s the thing:

We cannot let our ego have its way while also following Jesus. 

Later on in Luke’s gospel, he records Jesus saying it another way which I’ve found helpful regarding the act of denying oneself: “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Luke 16:13). 

The motivation for our actions must be to either please God or chase money. In my reading, I also see “money” as power, status, and reputation. We cannot devote ourselves to both, according to Jesus. 

“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” (Proverbs 29:25). 

Chasing power, or fearing men more than God, comes at the expense of our very selves. It “masters” us. It becomes an idol. And it is something that the “ego self” wants all the time. 

There is a reason why the first commandment addresses idolatry. 

It is a pervasive, hidden in plain sight sin. This is why taking up our cross has to be a daily practice. We are called to resist the temptations of our ego every single day. Jesus is saying in Luke 9:23-25 that we need to let the part of ourselves that wants power for our own gain die and choose to fear God. These are two paths that will always oppose each other.  

Again, it takes effort on our part every day; it’s not just a one-time decision. Taking up our cross is a daily act of obedience that God asks of us. We show love for Him by obeying His command to pick up our cross daily and follow.  

As we humble ourselves daily, we can take great hope in remembering the words of Peter, that “at the proper time he may exalt you . . . because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7). 

Taking up our cross daily won’t happen unless we trust that God cares for us. 

God’s care for us spurred Him to make a promise to us. He asks only that we trust that He fulfilled His promise in Jesus Christ. Taking up our cross is trusting God in action: loving God with all that we are, loving our neighbor as ourselves, following the Way of Jesus, and relying on His righteousness as our own. We have reason to rely and trust Him, but it also requires faith. 

Our family of believers can serve as a wonderful reminder of God’s care and concern for us, and also help spur us on in faith. He often works through the compassionate care of our family members who can remind us of His love.  

What’s in a name? 

In the Biblical account, Moses is the first one who asks God what His personal name is. He was known as the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob by the Israelites, but Moses asked what he should tell Pharaoh God’s personal name was. Names were important because a name communicated something essential about the character of the god or person. 

I think of the instances in the Bible when God gives people a new name: Abram (meaning exalted father) to Abraham (meaning father of a multitude), Jacob (meaning he takes by the heel or he cheats) to Israel (meaning he strives with God or God strives), Saul (Hebrew) to Paul (Roman). All of these names communicated a core part of each individual’s story in relation to God and their role in His greater story for humanity. 

When asked for His name, God answered Moses:

I AM WHO I AM, in Hebrew, YHWH (Exodus 3:14). 

This can also be translated as I WILL BE. In the context of God’s call to Moses to go to Pharaoh for His people, the name itself assures Moses and the Israelites that God will be with them. God’s presence with us is built into the name itself. 

God IDENTIFIES Himself as related to us. 

What an amazing thing! God truly is all about relationship with you and me, each and every soul He created. His presence with us is part of who He is; He identified this truth as His very essence in His name, YHWH! 

Our family of believers can be a powerful reminder of this truth and many other truths that help us follow Jesus. If you struggle with family, know that it’s normal. You are not alone in feeling awkward about it sometimes, even when you’re happy with where you are. But remember that you are part of the family of God, it needs you just as much as you need it, and it is a great blessing in this life that is worth seeking out. 

Paul wrote that believers are to “keep [our] eyes on those who live as we do” (Philippians 3:17). May we all gather as a family around the goodness and grace of YHWH, His promises, and the hope found in His name.  

“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments” (1 John 5:2).

“And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). 

“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27).

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5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ

I recently found out that an acquaintance I met in my travels during my early 20s was killed three years ago. He was doing conflict resolution work in a violence-ridden country. I met him only a few times over the course of a day or two, but he made an impression. Reading his obituary confirmed these initial perceptions; humble, intelligent, and kind. Most of all, though, I noticed his confidence. He was not arrogant in the least, but he was extremely confident in who he was.  

He was the most Christlike I had seen a person my own age act, patiently listening, empathizing, and being present. His confidence was firm in Christ. Perhaps that’s why I remember him so vividly for a person I met just once ten years ago. He used his gifts in the most dire circumstances to work for good. What more could any of us ask for in our short lives? But doing God’s work with confidence doesn’t come so easily for me as it did for my brave friend. I aspire to live as he did naturally–unafraid.  

Some personalities can be more cautious than others. Perhaps your environment was or is unstable and you developed some level of fear because of it. Maybe the relationships in your life weren’t secure or loving and you developed distrust. Whatever the case may be, we can take confidence in knowing that Jesus has overcome it. We can have freedom from all of it in Him. But it takes intention on our part too; we still have neural pathways stuck in ruts, we still have walls built up to protect us.

So, how can we step into the freedom of Christ that He offers us with boldness and confidence? 

  1. It starts with FAITH. 

As followers of Jesus, our confidence comes from faith in Him. There is no stronger place in which to establish our identity than believing the cross was, is, and will be enough to set us free. When our faith is in Jesus, confidence can blossom and thrive because our identity is secure in Him. It isn’t dependent on any naturally-born characteristics we ourselves happen to possess. Instead, our identity is hidden in the character of Christ, in His integrity, humility, compassion, and love. When we depend on Him and His character instead of our own abilities, we can be truly confident. We can rely on His strength instead of our own. This all starts with faith.

If your faith is shaky today, pray. Cry out to God. As the father who implored Jesus to heal his sick son, ask for help in overcoming your unbelief (Mark 9:24). Faith comes from God. You will seek Him and find Him when you seek Him with your whole heart (Deuteronomy 4:29). Have faith that the cross was enough.   

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

  1. Don’t give up on new life. 

If you struggle with falling into old habits and patterns you are not alone; take heart! That doesn’t change the fact that you are a new creation. Give yourself grace in this. It takes time to shirk old habits. Remember to see them as just that, habits. Do not confuse them to be part of you or your identity, because it’s simply not true. All of your identity and freedom was bought by and is held today in Jesus. 

All humans have brains with strongly ingrained patterns of thought. However, God’s Word says that we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Read and speak out loud the promises in Scripture that speak of new life, restoration, and healing. Replace negative patterns with these promises. Never give up on a life lived in the freedom Christ paid for; we have good reason to hope!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

  1. Let go of the fear of man.

It is so easy to look at other people’s impressions of how funny, nice, interesting, cool, or desirable we are to inform our sense of self. But when we do that, we are actually valuing people’s opinions of us more than God’s opinion. This means we are making the fear of man an idol. In this, we actually make ourselves slaves to the opinions of other people. 

We must hold our identity as children of God in higher regard than the perceptions of others. If you are struggling with this today, look to the example Jesus set. He modeled awe-inspiring confidence in His identity. He knew who He was, and that confidence was evident to everyone he encountered. Never arrogant, but maintaining integrity and obedience to God the Father, Jesus stepped into his God-given responsibility. Despite being laughed at (Mark 5:40), He did not compromise His identity and was not shaken by a fear of men’s opinions. He feared God. As Jesus demonstrated, we too can stand firm in who we are, stop treating what people think of us as an idol, and put God in the rightful place of worship in our hearts.  

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

  1. Take full personal responsibility for yourself, your past, and your actions. 

As mentioned, a striking aspect of Jesus’ character is that He took full responsibility for himself. In Genesis, the story of Judah demonstrates this so well. When he was young, Judah sold his brother Joseph into slavery, and lied about it. Joseph’s supposed death caused their father Jacob great sorrow and grief, thinking he was dead. And Judah did not own up to his actions. But even though all seemed lost, Judah’s heart was transformed and his integrity grew. The guilt over what he’d done to Joseph changed his actions, and he owned up to his failures and sins. 

“Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). 

Judah received a great blessing from Jacob before his death, and Judah’s family line became royalty, the line through which Jesus Himself later came! God rewards those who take responsibility for their actions. We too must confess where we went wrong. We too must do what is right no matter the cost, because we have a responsibility to act righteously.  

  1. Remember that we know the end of the story.

Spoiler alert: in the end, Jesus brings restoration and blessing! Through Him, and only by Him, we are victorious over sin and death. If there is any license to freedom, this truth is it! No matter how dire the situation may look, no matter how foreboding the future may seem, Jesus wins. The power of death was already broken through Jesus. It’s already happened! Through Him, even now, we are no longer subject to it (Hebrews 2:14). 

“Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God” (1 John 5:5). 

From the start of God’s covenant with humanity, God always wanted to bless all those who loved, respected, knew, and walked with Him. From the royal line of Judah that He blessed through Jacob, Jesus was born and established a new covenant for us, a blessing that we live under today. Today, our blessing comes through Jesus Christ. 

Through freedom in Christ, we can empathize with the ignored and oppressed. Through freedom in Christ, we can love our enemies. Through freedom in Christ, we can share hope with the hopeless. 

May we press in to the blessing of God and the freedom God offers us through Jesus, the King of all kings! 

“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). 

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

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