Tag: Faith

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From Death to Life

Self acceptance was never my strong suit. I focused much of my attention all my life on being “better;” self improvement was my favorite genre. Perfectionism ruled and ruined me. I knew I could never be perfect, but my actions told a different story. While I achieved, I was never content. I wanted to be better than I am at everything I cared about, like dance, academics, and yes, following Jesus.

When the initial passion wore off and these things inevitably became a box to check off my list, I’d get down on myself all the more. Sometimes I’d double down, sometimes I’d quit for months. The concept of following Jesus, living in close, trusting relationship with God, sounded great. I wanted to love God more than anything, and failed over and over. But perfectionism, or even self improvement, is fruitless when God isn’t asking it of us. It took time for me to learn that God really doesn’t expect us to be perfect.

I heard a line in a sermon recently that has been ringing True ever since: “Jesus didn’t come to make good people better, He came to make dead people alive.” All this pressure I tend to put on myself to be “better,” it is not the business of Jesus. He makes our souls, once dead to the bondage of sin, alive. There is so much to rejoice in with that! The Psalmist wrote, “For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life” (Psalm 56:13). That Jesus delivers us from death is worth meditating on, rather than our faults and shortcomings. Rather than my worrying about being “better,” I realized it was far better to focus on what Jesus has already done.

Jesus brought several people from literal death to life, including Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:22-43; Luke 8:41-56), and Lazarus (John 11:14-44). But His legitimacy as the Son of God and the legitimacy of everything He said during His three years of ministry was confirmed when He Himself died and came back to life. “He [Jesus] presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God” (Acts 1:3). Those who saw Jesus alive after He had died on the cross then later risked their lives to tell others what they had witnessed.

Today, Jesus is in the business of bringing people dead in sin (and soul) to life. He brings people like me and you back from this death every day. I was dead in bondage to sin, which kept me tied to striving, perfectionism, and self criticism. But Jesus made a way for me off of that road of self destruction and on a path with Him and for Him in the “light of life.” We still need to take up our cross daily (Matthew 16:24, Luke 9:23) to follow Jesus, but He set us free from death when He rose from the dead. That’s the good news. And we’re not just free, either, but victorious over death with Jesus. He shares His victorious life with us.

Halleluiah, Jesus is alive, and because of Him and His love for us, so are we!

“He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you” (Matthew 28:6-7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Getting What You Pray For

We expect to get what we pay for. But what about what we pray for? I’ve questioned if something I am praying for is really God’s will, but many times I actively tried not to think about it that way and just prayed for what I wanted or needed. Knowing what God wanted seemed far too mysterious, and was something I would ignore out of frustration. I had no idea how to tell or how to walk in step with God’s will when it came to my everyday life, and it seemed like an impossible ask, and task.

Lately, I’ve come to understand this differently, in a way that removed so much more of the mystery than I ever thought possible.

Praying for My Will

The needs and wants that come up hourly in my own life and in the lives of those close to me seem infinite in number. There are needs to be met at every turn for every person, and it doesn’t take long to realize that we ourselves aren’t equipped to fill them all. We need God every day, hour, and minute. It is natural to have a need or want and pray for it to happen. It’s what I was taught to do, and there’s a good place for it. As an example, for many years I prayed that I would be able to go to bed and actually fall asleep earlier.

But as much as I wouldn’t have believed it or wanted to hear it, I didn’t know what I actually needed or wanted. I didn’t understand how God designed us first for relationship with Him and how much in our lives is a result of this Truth. I knew the sleep trouble indicated a misalignment somewhere in my life, but I didn’t realize that staying up too late was actually a symptom of not prioritizing my relationship with Jesus, or how He was calling me to live. I had prayed for the symptom, but completely missed the root cause.

God’s Restoration

Once I saw the connection of everything to my relationship with Jesus, things didn’t feel so complicated. I simply had to run to Him. I’ve had to learn many things “the hard way,” by not getting what I pray for. Those prayers weren’t focused on what was best in the long run, but what I thought would be good in the present. But God has worked in my heart to restore what I thought at one time was broken trust. God began a needed work of restoration in me that I couldn’t accomplish on my own. I prayed for it, and this time, He answered. He showed me that His will truly is what is best in the long run. Scripture clearly shows time and time again that it is God’s will to restore connection with the hearts that humbly bring themselves to Him. It’s who He is, part of His loving and faithful character. He will restore connection with us whenever we earnestly ask for it, because that is His will.

In this restoration of connection, God transformed my heart. He helped me see how things I believe, say, or do, especially when related to myself, affect my relationship with Him. He showed me through His Word and Spirit that relationship with Him is the most precious and important thing, both to me and to Him. His will is always barrier-free relationship with each one of us. Instead of simply praying for temporal improvements, I began to ask, does this affect my relationship with God? That question has changed everything.

He doesn’t want anything to come between Himself and me or you; He is faithful to help us keep our connection strong when we ask. Through His transformative work in my heart, I came to know that prayers aligned with restoring and keeping and growing trusting, relational connection with us will be answered. It has led to even deeper prayer, with a profound sense of knowing that God has already supplied every real need (Philippians 4:19), before we even ask!

Praying for God’s Will

I mentioned earlier about praying for perceived needs according to what we want or will. But things can get more complicated than that. What if it’s God’s will that a need remains unmet right now? What if His greater plan involves that need going unmet?

Jesus gave us an amazing example of praying for God’s will in the garden of Gethsemane, “And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done‘” (Luke 22:41-42). He knew the Father’s will, but in this prayer He lets the Father know His own will, which is quite opposite. But then, Jesus says something really extraordinary. Jesus displays ultimate humility, knowing and acknowledging that God’s will is sovereign. No matter how much Jesus’ own will tried to resist against it, He had decided long before praying that prayer that God’s will would always be His choice because of His trusting relationship with Him. He had no doubt about the Father’s character of ultimate love and goodness toward Him.

I believe God is inviting us today to decide, like Jesus had done, that He is sovereign in our lives, to humble ourselves in trust, and to choose relationship with Him over our own will. God’s will is restored relationship with Him, and in that place of safety there is freedom and life to be found, sweeter than any life we could attempt to build from our own will.

When we pray for God’s will, we get what we pray for. It may not be immediate, or the way we expect, but restored and strengthened relationship with God is where all this, His plan, is heading. God is faithful and trustworthy to fulfill His will. May His will be done!

“For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35).

“If anyone’s will is to do God’s will, he will know whether the teaching is from God or whether I am speaking on my own authority” (John 7:17).

“And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:27).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Sanctification and Fruitfulness

This year, I’ve visited more farms than I can remember visiting in any previous summer. I’ve picked strawberries, peaches, and flowers. I’ve smelled the Maryland tomatoes and cantaloupes piled high in farmer’s market bins. I’ve felt the sun more than I have since I was in middle school. It’s been healing.

Stale, work computer-charged air a distant memory, I’ve been appreciating the delight of abundance this harvest season. The earth’s harvest is very symbolic in Scripture; it has so much to teach us, especially if, like me, you’ve had to adapt to measuring time by email deadlines rather than by the seasons of Creation.

The harvest season comes with a lot of opportunity to connect with God and each other. As summer yields the crop for the year, seeing the abundance of God’s provision has given me a childlike wonder and delight. A single fruit tree bearing incredible quantities of fruit in just one season has been quite a sight to behold on the farm.

I’ve been longing for the ability to make my own life fruitful to live in the beautiful ways Scripture says is possible (eg: John 15:5, Galatians 5:16-25). But I often feel sorely lacking, and in a season not of abundance but of drought. I’ve been reading about and longing for sanctification and frustrated by its slow, and at times painful, progress that takes a long time to yield fruit and a lifetime to be completed. Sanctification is hard to define, but it involves seeing the Truth to the point of no longer being deceived by selfish desires or goals to find fulfillment, and dedication to serving God and doing His will, instead of my own. This is foolishness to the world of email deadlines, profit margins, and fiscal year spreadsheets that I was entangled with for years, and the process of detangling has been a wild one.

Like the wheat and weeds grow up together, people who love Jesus grow here in the world along with everyone else and everything else (Matthew 13:24-30). Followers of Jesus are not to be removed, but to remain in the world and be an influence for good. Jesus prayed for His followers in His high priestly prayer before His arrest, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it” (John 17:15-16) (NIV). The answer to sanctification is not shutting out all of the entanglements, temptations, and evil and hope that that makes us good enough people. We can’t escape the world, nor does God want us to. What makes us able to be fruitful among it all is utter devotion to and dependence on Jesus and His sanctifying work in our hearts.

Jesus continues His prayer, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified” (John 17:17-19) (NIV). Jesus prayed for our sanctification. Sanctification involves abiding in Jesus. Abiding, like sanctification, is ongoing, not bound by time at all. We all live in the tension of waiting for the fullness of God’s provision and work in us. It isn’t something I can achieve or be rewarded with. It’s something I simply need to allow. Simple, yet, at least for me, incredibly difficult.

It’s worth it though, because sanctification leads to our lives bearing good fruit. As we allow God by the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:16, 1 Corinthians 6:11) to work in and sanctify us, we grow and mature. We are transformed by Him in holiness, or moral purity in our attitudes, thoughts, and actions. I’ve witnessed this change in people, and it’s simply miraculous.

The fruit that comes as a result of sanctification is loving people as God loves us, living with joy, walking in peace, caring with patience, bearing with others in kindness, and so on (Galatians 5:22-23). Sanctification involves our hearts, minds, and spirits coming to a place that no longer gives in to anything that blocks us from abiding in Him. And again, we’re on a lifelong journey to be sanctified. God is faithful to sanctify His people, even though it may feel slow and painful and impossible at times. This season of abundant, fruitful harvest reminds me of this hope for my own life.

There’s nothing we can do to earn sanctification or speed it up or work toward it. The work is allowing and completely depending on God to do the work that is needed in us, and having faith that He is, has been, and will be working. May God help us on the days we resist His work, and may our lives bear fruit as we allow Him to work through us. Amen.

“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

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Take Heart

I hadn’t watched the news in a long time until yesterday. I don’t have regular TV and haven’t missed it. Horrors in the region, the state, the country, and the world all neatly packed into 2-minute segments, just long enough to instill a sense of fear or dread or can’t-miss-the-update-we’ll-oh-so-conveniently-bring-you-at-5. The world is full of stories, and now we know them whether we want to or not. Having peace in our hearts and minds is what we need to thrive, create, and learn new things. In such an environment, how do we have peace?

Thankfully, Jesus shows us how to break bad news to people we care about, without compromising their peace. In John 16, before His arrest, Jesus tells His disciples He’s going away, and that some scary things will happen, things they never imagined were possible. Then, in one of my favorite verses in the whole Bible, Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). The world and peace don’t ever seem to coincide, even 2000 years ago. Jesus isn’t telling his friends horrible things to scare them, He’s saying that no matter what comes, peace is found in Him.

Circumstances we face may be terrible, but Jesus isn’t ignorant to them. He knows about them, He is not scared by them, and He is a steady place to go when things in the world try to knock us off balance. Jesus is where we can find peace.

About 60 years after Jesus’ time, the apostle Paul wrote to the early Christian church from prison, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11). Speaking of his imprisonment, Paul wrote to his friends with not only hopefulness but profound encouragement, “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ” (Philippians 1:12-13). Paul knew that God was bigger than his predicament of being imprisoned, and that God hadn’t left him, evidenced clearly by the fruitfulness that came of it. You can almost hear the joy and peace in Paul’s tone when he writes, “…most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear” (Philippians 1:14).

Paul’s chains do not keep God from working through him, and in fact, his imprisonment may have helped the Gospel spread all the faster and more powerfully. So friends, there is no circumstance too dark or scary for God to walk with you in and work through you in. There is nothing that can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39).

The circumstances in the world will be difficult, yes. Oppressive, yes. Inducing of suffering, yes. But we are not left defenseless. Jesus gave us reason not to let the fear that the world can incite take over our hearts. Jesus gave us the Truth, that He has overcome the world (John 16:33). The Truth is compared in Scripture to the belt (Ephesians 6:14) in the description of the armor of God we are commanded to take up. Peace is compared to the shoes (Ephesians 6:15), needed for our sense of readiness. It is from a place of peace in Jesus that we can be ready to endure, solid as a pillar in the Truth, fully surrendered in trust that the Lord will provide all we need out of His deep and abiding love for us.

Though we will be challenged by the world daily to retreat in fear, Jesus tells us to “take heart” in the face of it all. He has overcome the world that scares, threatens, questions our identity, and challenges our faith. May we therefore take heart!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth

Today I invite you to celebrate with me because six years ago today, I started Life with the King. My first post was called What To Do When You Struggle with Faith. The timestamp is a day late, July 25th, for some computer-y reason I couldn’t fix at the time. I remember having a blog launch party at my house with a few friends and games and food and I was so excited, but nervous. I’ve been journaling since I was seven years old, happy to have a private place to put my thoughts. The decision to be vulnerable enough to share thoughts with other people wasn’t easy, but at the time I just knew it was something I simply had to do. And I’m so glad I did. Six years later, and I still know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

The idea behind my website’s tagline, “Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth,” is something that I don’t know that I ever explained, or intended to explain. Those who get it will get it, I told myself. But perhaps now it’s time to go back six years and tell the story behind that tagline.

When I decided on the tagline “Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth,” I had just come from the previous six-year stretch from 2013-2019 of seeking Truth after finding myself caught in a lot of confusion and outright lies that I had sincerely thought were truths up until that point. I never believed in Santa Claus, but just imagine what it is like to find out the truth about him, only you’re an adult, then multiply it by about ten because it impacted every single area of life, and that’s roughly how it felt.

To believe that being a Christian means you’ll be happy every day, to believe that you’re doing everything you can to live well when your gods are television and weekends and looking successful in your career, to believe people need to earn their worth and find their identities in the world…the list could go on and on. I believed these and so many other outright lies and was angry that I had fallen for them. Truth became sacred to me in that period of time. That’s why I now capitalize the word Truth. And I also now believe that Truth has a name. Truth means everything to me in my life and faith journey. The interesting thing about Truth is that this world encourages us to give up on it, have a strange avoidant relationship with it, or lose sensitivity to it just to cope in the moment, while compromising long-term peace.

Confusion is a specialty of the enemy of our souls. The strange thing about Truth is that Satan, as the father of lies (John 8:44), confuses Truth and lies even though they couldn’t be more opposite. And he does this really, really well. Scripture promises that this will get progressively more intense, “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Can you think of any teachers or myths with influence being spread today?

The stakes are high, so high that I started a website six years ago to remind others (and continue to myself), that Truth is the most important thing, and it must be sought out. If we are passive and not intentional to seek Truth, we will be swept into the current of lies, so subtly we’ll never even realize it’s happened. I know because that happened to me. I don’t want that even for enemies, but especially not for you, friends.

So I fight against the father of lies by sharing about the Truth when I am given the words. Particularly for me, I fight against the lie of the ego that we are immune to lies. My old post called The Truth about Philosophy and Mental Health is an example of working this out in my own life. I’ve learned the hard way that we must keep our eyes on the Truth, or we may be subject to the wrong king. What would happen if instead of shying away from Truth out of fear of the unknown, we chose to embrace it? For me, it changed everything and it was more than worth the risk.

If we don’t take the risk, we may get to a point where we are told the Truth, and even though we hear it, we don’t recognize it to be True. This happened not only to me but to king Ahab in Scripture. He fell for the trap of his own preference, and believed the lies of the false god prophets, who he chose to follow over Micaiah, who was a prophet of the Lord (2 Chronicles 18). When Truth is clearly presented to us, how do we recognize it when we see it? We must recognize the importance of Truth, seek it, and keep ourselves sensitive to it, no matter the cost. Truth is always worth it.

Seek Truth with all your heart! There is nothing more important. That’s why Life with the King exists. It’s all about Truth, and seeking it for yourselves in the deepest way possible. May you find what you are seeking. Amen.

“They bend their tongue like a bow; falsehood and not truth has grown strong in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know me, declares the Lord. Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, for every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer. Everyone deceives his neighbor, and no one speaks the truth; they have taught their tongue to speak lies; they weary themselves committing iniquity.  Heaping oppression upon oppression, and deceit upon deceit, they refuse to know me, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:3-6).

“And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray” (Matthew 24:11).

“...they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen” (Romans 1:25).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Endure Until the End

It is a heroic characteristic to endure. If we are able to have the blessing of sticking it out in this life, we endure its hardships and suffering. But movies send the misleading message that right after hardship, things immediately get better and stay that way. Reality, however, doesn’t pan out that way. Yet, because Jesus gives us hope beyond this world, we can endure, and if we have the faith, we can also trust that Jesus will make it all worth it in His Kingdom.

Jesus said of the end times, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matthew 24:12-12). We aren’t promised better times; in fact, we are assured that the wickedness we must endure will get progressively worse.

Love must not grow cold in us, but must be kept warm in our hearts in order to endure, and we are warned that most people will fail at this. It is love that indicates our ability to stand firm to the very end.

Love is first on the list of fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22. In my own experience, love is not possible without the help of the Holy Spirit. I am keenly aware how much my flesh opposes love, a tension I’ve wrestled hard with; the world tells us we “love” each other just fine thank you very much, but the world’s love is not God’s unselfish, uninhibited, deeply caring, unconditional, eternity-enduring LOVE. The flesh, or the desire for self-preservation and avoidance of pain, gets annoyingly in the way of that kind of love.

To die to self is the only way to let the God-given, miraculous kind of love flow through us, and to choose to live by the Spirit instead of the flesh. As far as I’ve been able to learn in my journey, to deny the flesh and live by the Spirit is what we must do to be able to endure in love until the end of this age.

On days like today, my flesh wants to enter into the world’s system and way, and fight on my own strength from a place of fear disguised as anger and a sense of rightful injustice. Today I need to work extra hard to remember the Truth–that “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14). And that we are not of this world, “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,” (Philippians 3:20). We are to seek first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), (because isn’t that hard enough for us?), and trust that God will provide, no matter how bad things look.

A necessary disclaimer I must add here is that of course I know that there are those whom God has given the strength to work for justice in this world, even among the increase of wickedness, and they are doing good and necessary work that I admire and applaud. But anyone who works against the tide of wickedness and endure in love must be given a God-given purpose in their work, not of fear. It’s the fear-driven anger I feel that tells me that work is not mine to do. And that is the perspective I’m coming from it all with today.

Things are getting harder. But God has not let us be blindsided by this fact; He warned us long ago. And He calls us to endure. Endure in faith. Endure in love. Endure in hope. “Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted” (Hebrews 12:3). To endure, we must keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Amen.

Remember that out of great tribulation comes a promise, “They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes” (Revelation 7:16-17).

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord‘” (Romans 12:17-19).

“Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3: 12-14).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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Jesus’ Kingdom vs. my kingdom

Tomorrow I am about to do something that one year ago I wasn’t sure I would again…drive on a highway.

I quit my corporate job almost one year ago. I was miserable, burned out, and wasn’t able to drive a car because it would trigger a horrible panic attack. My body was tired from constant anxiety and a high heart rate. I thought that by staying at a “good” job I was being responsible, taking care of my own life. But oh, how much I was missing! I can only see now in hindsight that my soul was dying. No matter what I did I couldn’t shake that feeling. I was living in the cage I’d unknowingly built for myself, filled with fear and devoid of true surrender. (Creed’s “My Own Prison,” anyone?)

I got to a point last year when the only thing I hadn’t tried was letting go of the idea of controlling my own life. Control was something that I had believed I had to have so fiercely that I couldn’t discern that there was any other way to think. I’d nod at sermons saying to let God be in control, but I had no idea what that really meant for me in my own life. Well, this is the year I found out!

At my wit’s end in a constant state of anxiety, I was forced to take the chance, and tried my very best (pretty badly) to force myself to trust that God would make a way for me as I actively let go of my job. I took a step not knowing what I was going to do next, but at least trusting that I couldn’t stay where I was while also living the life of thriving and wholeness in Christ that I have believed in and have been inching toward since 2015 when I gave my life to Jesus. I just knew He didn’t want me to feel like I was dying every day. He doesn’t want anyone to feel that way.

If you do feel that way today, know that you aren’t alone. Know that that isn’t how life is supposed to feel. Know that God has better for you and always, ALWAYS gives us a way out of our ways of death and into His abundant life. But it will be painful at first to first realize what has been allowed in your life and then to let go of what feels normal. It sure has been for me.

This last year, my life has been testimony story after testimony story of how God restored me inside and out. He provided a real rest, which I so desperately needed after forcing myself to work on something that was not good for my spirit for so long. He used my family to help me enjoy living again, walking again, cooking again, doing things that I actually enjoy again. He healed me from the constant state of panic that I had been suffering with for months. He inspired me to be creative and use my creativity again–but for His Kingdom, not my own. He restored my soul (Psalm 23:3) by teaching me how to wait for and hear His voice. He gave me opportunity to serve others. He is faithful to complete the good work He started in us (Philippians 1:6). Please don’t forget, because it’s so easy to, but remember that He will never leave you, and He will make a way for life in your soul with Him.

So what about tomorrow? I’m driving a long distance, because God healed me of the fear that kept me stuck not driving for months, to go to a place where God called me to go, and be in a place where He called me to be. I can be free, and it’s only because of Him and His work in me. He freed me not only of the mental cage of having to be in control, but the physical restriction of being unable to get myself anywhere in a car. He is truly the Healer. In whatever way you may need healing in your life today, friends, go to Jesus. His Kingdom is the only one that will last, and the only one that brings life.

“as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18).

“‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!'” (Revelation 5: 13b)

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

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The Intimate Love of God

Half of 2021 has been harder for me personally than the whole of 2020 was. While I love writing and sharing with you on this blog, sharing has seemed next to impossible at times, even to those closest to me. I’m grateful you are here after all this time away. In the past 14 months, I’ve found amazing solace outdoors, taking in the beauty to be experienced on nature walks. Nature somehow has a way of putting me back in the present moment, and it (usually) helps to drown out the noise in my mind.

I remember one day on one of my walks this spring, a particular daffodil caught my eye. It was not yellow; no yellow at all, just all-white petals. I stopped to look closer. The daffodils all around it were either all yellow, or had white petals surrounding an egg yolk-yellow center. Even the inner trumpet was a pure white. Now, maybe this is completely ordinary to you and you’ve seen many a white daffodil, but it struck me as particularly beautiful. I just stood and stared for a while, in awe of what I’d found. It felt special to behold, like seeing a four-leaf clover, or a black squirrel. It felt meaningful somehow, and I was grateful to be there (and present) for it.  

I don’t often mind walking alone, but a couple moments later, I felt a pang of loneliness, wishing I could share the beauty I had found. Feebly, honestly feeling a bit silly, I asked Jesus as I walked toward home, “Did you see that?” Immediately, He was there. This unexplainable knowing of His presence came over me, one I’ve had rarely. Somehow, I knew all at once that Jesus had been and was present with me, I knew He’d heard me, and I just knew the answer was yes, He’s seen it too. “More than that, I see you seeing it,” He seemed to say in my heart. And just like that, I had shared in the wonder I’d found, my longing fulfilled. 

When we draw near in faith, Jesus is quick to fulfill our longings with His love.

Being loved by God and loving Him is so foundational to faith because it allows us to stop trying to fulfill our longings with anything but Him. Faithfully trusting His love, we grow in our own ability to show true love, even when we don’t want to (there are plenty of times when this is the case!). Within God’s love, we are set apart as Holy with Christ, aware of and operating from a place that draws from the well of His deep, complete love, completely different from the partial elements of love we may seek after in the world. I’d like to share a few beautiful passages that illustrate God’s incredible love for us. 

A question God asked was about, arguably, the most damaging decision of all time. Not an obvious choice to show God’s love, but perhaps that is why I find it so remarkable. In Genesis 3:13, God asks Eve, “What is this you have done?,” when He knew she ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. But, did you know that this question isn’t only asked of Eve? 

Many years later, after establishing the nation of Israel through Moses and Joshua, God also asks the same question of the wayward Israelites (Judges 2:2). God used the faithfulness of Moses and Joshua to set the stage for the next best version of Eden possible. Eden, after all, represents God’s set of ideal circumstances for humans to thrive in. However, the Israelites could not keep God’s commands or stay faithful to the Lord.  

When God asks “What is this you have done,” again, hundreds of years later after He had freed His people from slavery in Egypt, built up their character through trial, and established everlasting covenants with them, I read this question with a tone of heartache, not just anger. With bitten-back tears, not only wrath. God wants the best for them, but He does not make decisions for people, or have faith for people–He opens Himself to the vulnerability of true relationship with humanity, and asks what we’ve done, perhaps not for His benefit but for ours. His love is apparent for Israel; even in their whoring against Him (Judges 2:17), this heart-wrenching question may be read from the heart of a Teacher, guiding the people to search their own hearts and ask it of themselves.

God heartbreakingly models what it looks like to love even when we don’t want to.

Hosea chapter 11 is quickly shooting to the top of my list of favorite Scriptures. In it is, to me, one of the most beautiful love letters in the Bible, straight from YHWH Himself to His beloved people Israel, here referred to as Ephraim, who was one of Joseph’s sons. I love to read this chapter as a love letter from our Father directly to us.

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols. Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know I healed them. I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love…” (Hosea 11:1-4a). 

God’s love for Israel is given imagery, and reading on we see that His love never stopped, no matter what the people did. In Hosea, God continues, “How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? … My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my burning anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.” (Hosea 11:8-9). God’s compassion for us is so clear in this passage. Despite His “burning anger,” which unchecked would destroy them, God’s compassion makes destroying His “child,” meaning His people, an impossible option due to His loving character.   

The force of God’s love is stronger than anything, and will never fail because He is God.

Other passages that directly express God’s deep, intimate, and devoted love for us include this one from the prophet Isaiah who writes, “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold I have engraved you on the palms of my hands . . .” (Isaiah 49:15-16a).

Again we read the comparison of parent and child when it comes to the compassion of God. But I love this passage because it may refer to the nails driven through Jesus’ hands when He was crucified on the cross. Regardless, we are remembered by God on the very body of Jesus, by the scars from the nails that after His resurrection still engrave His hands (John 20:27), even as He is seated at God’s right hand. That is how intimately God loves us.  

Remembering relationship with God is a recurring theme throughout in the Bible. Jesus can never forget us as this passage from Isaiah states, for we are engraved, if not on his body then on His heart. In turn, God implores His people not to forget what He has done for them, who He is, and who they are because of Him. He asks the same of us, to remember the ways in which He has been and continues to be faithful to each one of us. 

Remembering Whose we are is a vital part of living in relationship with God.

“Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 31:20). Because we read that God’s heart actually yearns for His people, even when they constantly are unfaithful, committing idolatry against Him generation after generation, I invite you to ponder for a moment the weight of the fact that David was referred to as “a man after my own heart” (Acts 13:22). Of calling Jesus, David’s descendant, His Son, “with you I am well pleased” (Mark 1:11), God shows us that personal devotion to our relationship means everything to Him. Yet, we must remember because we are so prone to fall in line with the Israelites’ way, living in a state of pride and attempting autonomy on our own strength apart from our fiercely loving Father.

In Christ, we no longer have to be afraid of the closeness of God’s love. I admit, Jesus’ presence can be difficult. For me it sometimes seems too good, and too close. But intimacy with God is something that we were made for before sin entered in. What does the enemy know of intimacy? It is innately human to feel the the pull of intimacy we were all born with. May we allow it to drive us to, like David, seek after God’s own heart for ourselves.   

Intimacy with God is more innate to us than our sinful nature.

After I found the white daffodil, that same night I was talking to Jesus about the beauty of the experience, and I felt His almost-too-good presence near again. He spoke to my heart, “Yes, it was beautiful. I saw you seeing it. That’s the way I see you, you know. The way you stopped to see the beauty of that white daffodil is the way I look at you. You’re so beautiful, I stop and point at you and say to my Father and the Holy Spirit, ‘Look! Isn’t she beautiful?’”  

Well, I just about lost it. Maybe you can imagine what hearing that meant to me in a season of isolation, and the intense intimacy of that. It was deeply personal and unique, and yet this is Jesus’ heart towards everyone, even with a “silly” faith the size of a mustard seed that feebly reaches out to Him, He is there for us. Please hear my heart and know that I am not sharing this to brag by any means, but to express the intimacy with which He loves and knows you just as well, and certainly immeasurably more. We are seen, known, appreciated, and loved deeply by Jesus whether we have a relationship with Him or not, and when we reach out to connect with Him, there is truly nothing better. He fulfills our need for love both in the ways we can understand, and far, far beyond them as well. For me that day, it was through a flower. For you, I hope you remember today that He loves you with an unending love, and experiencing that is only ever a reach of your heart in faith away. 

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of Life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. …” (Romans 8:1-3a).

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Freedom to Love

In my previous post, I wrote in depth about the pervasive force of fear, but ended on the idea that truth brings freedom, “… the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). My post 5 Ways to Step into Freedom in Christ goes into some of the practical details. Now I want to go into more depth about the idea of freedom, and why it’s so important. 

Freedom is all about Love.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13).

Freedom in Christ points to freedom from the power of sin and death over us. But that’s not all; freedom was intended to give way to a culture of love.  

Somehow, the longer we are in the world, the more we seem to fall asleep to the fact that we are free. It becomes all too easy to only love those who love us back, and only love that which benefits us personally. As Jesus said, “what reward is there for that?” (Matthew 5:46 (NLT)). When we feel obligated to love, it is not love of our own free will. It is not love freely given, the kind of love God longs for us to have towards Him and toward others. Once we understand that in His great love Jesus has already set us free, everything can change.

Freedom is why I gave up everything to choose faith in Him—it’s the best thing I ever did. 

I used to constantly chase love, happiness, success, and contentment. The longer I was striving for my desires, the more I felt that somehow, I was under their power—and I was! In a way, we are enslaved to whatever it is that our heart desires. That’s why it is so important to guard your heart.

God understood this fully when He created us. As humans, we were designed to be subservient to something beyond ourselves. God made us this way with the intention to only be subservient to Him, who never exploits this delicate feature of who we are. This is my opinion friends, but I believe this is the reason the first commandment prohibits idolatry (Exodus 20:3). God knew how He designed us better than anyone or anything, and wanted to protect us from the harm that serving anything other than Him would do to us. 

From the Beginning, God wanted us to dwell in His presence and have intimate relationship with Him—and He designed us accordingly!

How beautiful is the vision of a life where we could withstand the holiness of God and experience the unimaginable glory of His full physical presence! This is what Jesus’ restoration of all things looks like—God, restored to His rightful, original place as our ruler and friend, the literal and only “owner” of us and everything in the universe. No more being “owned” by the world’s consumerism, alcoholism, pornography, money, drugs, alcohol, relationships, fame, influence, status, lies, most types of societal expectations, the list goes on, for the exploitation of our thoughts and feelings. Until He comes again, we are susceptible to these traps; “They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for ‘people are slaves to whatever has mastered them’” (2 Peter 2:19). 

So many of us settle for being “free” to pick our own poison, fooling ourselves with this “good enough” freedom, convincing ourselves, “This isn’t so bad.” Friends, this is false freedom, and is not what we were made for. We can only deny our bondage for so long before our souls cry out. Being truly free comes when we yield our hearts, minds, and souls to God, the only One trustworthy enough to be our owner. The One whose judgment is impartial, who never exploits us by His power, and will never overstep our free will. He patiently gives us space to respond to Him in our own way in our own time. In Him, and Him alone, we are free—free indeed.  

Trust God to set you free from your idols today.

He is able. He is bigger than even that thing that scares you more than anything else in the world. Ask Him to end your bondage today and for help to stop luring others into bondage with you. God expresses His love to us by giving us freedom from sin and death, and free will to make our own decisions in life. He will help you if you ask Him with a sincere heart. It’s no wonder we struggle at times to feel His love, His gift of freedom is constantly being threatened by the world we live in! This is by no means new.

God first promises freedom to the Israelites via Moses in Exodus 6:6, “Therefore, say to the Israelites: ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment.” God wants to free and redeem us just as much as He wanted to free and redeem the Israelites in bondage. He is faithful, and will show mercy. The question for them, and for us, then becomes, 

“Okay, so you’ve been liberated from your Egypt, but are you going to continue living in a mentality of bondage?” 

We can become so accustomed to being manipulated by a partner, family member, or friend, being loyal to a particular party or denomination, being unwilling to learn the Bible for ourselves, listening only to other people talk about what Jesus is like instead of talking to Him directly, that our minds struggle to break free of those old patterns. Our minds can come to expect bondage and subservience and reinforce it, even when we are actively trying not to.

But, there is good news, friends! Jesus’s truth makes it possible to transform any bondage mentality; Scripture commands it: “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). We now know that even the physical fissures formed in our brains that reinforce routine patterns can be changed. Thankfully, God made our brains with neuroplasticity so those pathways can be transformed! For many, freedom comes slowly through hard work, not all at once. It takes time and intention to change our thinking to align with the truth of God’s love and freedom, but it is possible. Take heart and do not give up hope, friends! Through Christ we no longer have to feel stuck in our minds believing we’re free when our hearts and spirits know we’re not. He frees us fully and completely.

“What does Jesus have to do with freedom? Everything! because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).  

If you don’t know who Jesus is, I encourage you to seek Him. God promises that when you “seek the Lord your God … you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29). Luke 4:18 describes Jesus as proclaimer of good news to the poor, sight for the blind, and freedom for prisoners and those who are oppressed. Revelation 1:5 describes Jesus as the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler. But even as powerful and glorious as He is, He makes it clear in Scripture that He is a personal God who wants you and me to know Him on a deep and intimate level so we can experience the depth of His love and the gift of the true freedom that only He can give.

When we devote our lives to seeking and following Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit. He awakens us and empowers us to be our authentic selves, truly free of anything that might hold us back in our lives. In the freedom that Christ has generously given, we are free to be the people that we already are fully and as God designed us to be, without being subject to the rule of anything but God, as He intended.  

The vision of freedom looks like each one of us being all of our true selves.

Maybe you’re thinking, that sounds great and all, but it sounds too good to be true, or, I don’t feel victorious or free, even though I believe in Jesus already! Friends, as Jesus Himself said, “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Our faith is what counts as righteousness. God did not promise a life of feeling good, He promised His presence and faithful love for us. He is with us, even when we don’t feel it. “In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence” (Ephesians 3:12).

Jesus allows us to live a life even now of continual restoration and blessing! In Him, we are no longer subject to spiritual death (Hebrews 2:14). All we must do is have faith in Him, and the full gifts of righteousness Jesus bought by His blood shed on the cross become ours, not that we deserve it, but thanks to His grace and love.

God’s plan will come about.

His plan involves full freedom, from a physical body prone to decay, heartbreak, and anything contrary to love; a plan with nothing more to separate us from Him. God wants all barriers between us and Him to be broken, as He has desired from the very beginning, and is working even now to complete this work. Nothing we’ve done, or the enemy has done, can stop God’s plan from unfolding, or His promises from being fulfilled.   

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3-5a). 

God carries you, as a Father carries His child, into a future of His glory.

I love to imagine what the fullness of God’s glory will look like, but nothing we imagine could ever come close! His glory is total and complete love and acceptance, boundless freedom and creativity, incomprehensible grace, and profound truth. His glory is endless worship and praise of His real and true name, intimacy and closeness to His amazing presence, and wonderful loyalty and faithfulness. He wants nothing more than to tuck you into His arms and carry you in His love and provision until the day when you take your place in the room He has prepared for you. To be fully loved gives us the freedom to love in the same way, and create the culture of love that exists today between Father, Son, and Spirit. God’s will and all of time are pushing toward this reality, no matter how distant it may seem.

The freedom to be in the presence of God is the most wonderful freedom there is. It costs everything the world offers, but it is worth everything and more. “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life” (Romans 6:22). We must not forget that there is freedom here and now in God’s gifts, not just in eternal life. Here and now, Jesus allows us to experience a healthy and truth-honoring transformation of our minds, to choose to walk with the Holy Spirit moment by moment, to love with a selfless and free love, and to have hope of the glory to come in life eternal.

May we be people who choose the freedom to love without limits. 

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). 

“Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves” (1 Peter 2:16). 

“For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory“ (Psalm 149:4). 

 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:55).

Further reading: Garden City by John Mark Comer

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.

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What is God’s Grace?

Talking about the grace of God, especially during a verbal conversation, can sound very abstract, churchy, or vague. Even a very clear definition of God’s grace didn’t fully make sense to me until I came to faith in it for myself. For me, grace actually ended up being a lot more simple than I once thought it was.

God’s grace is the gift of life; it is also defined as the unmerited, unearnable gift of salvation that frees us from the consequences of inherited and committed sin.

It’s rather simple to describe, compared to the difficulty it can be to accept. After all, we aren’t used to accepting anything we didn’t earn. It’s easy for me to slip into feeling guilt and doubt that I ever had God’s grace in the first place, because I did no work to earn it! But that certainly doesn’t mean that these feelings align with the Truth. For Truth, we must look to God’s Word in Scripture: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

God’s grace is “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20), it’s part of God’s character to want the best for us and to love us, even more than we can comprehend. God doesn’t stop showing us grace when we begin our faith journey, but continually shows us grace upon grace as he works in our lives daily and teaches us more about Himself.  

Are there people excluded from God’s grace? 

No, and yes. Everyone who has ever existed is given the gift of life by God, even if just for a little while. That chance at life is a form of God’s grace. Everyone has something to be thankful for. So in that sense, no one is excluded from God’s grace. However, using the definition above that describes God’s grace as the gift of life and salvation, we have the ability to choose not to accept this gift that God offers us. One could decide to reject God’s grace. God will never force anyone to accept Him; that is a choice He leaves to each individual to decide for themselves. 

Can you lose God’s grace, or fall away from grace? 

When it comes to the consequences of sin, Jesus stated that, “…No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Those who rely on Jesus’ saving work on the cross have been promised salvation. It is still debated by Biblical scholars who have devoted their lives to these questions as to whether or not someone can then lose their salvation after they reach a point of repentance to Jesus. As I am certainly not an expert I will not be taking any guesses, but will encourage you to talk to God and to ask Him directly about this issue if it is weighing heavily on your heart. 

I will say that God loves everyone the same, He shows no favoritism, and He gives everyone unlimited grace in their lives, even until the very end. As 2 Peter 3:9 says of God, “…he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” That is God’s kind and generous heart toward us; again, it is ultimately our choice whether to accept His grace or not. 

How do you know you have God’s grace or that God’s grace is present in your life? 

It is normal to feel doubtful of God’s grace, at times it seems too good to be true, doesn’t it?! However, again, we look to the Truth in Scripture, “...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). Having God’s grace does not depend on feelings (praise God!) but instead on believing in your heart that Jesus is who He said He is. If you believe this, the fullness of God’s amazing grace is present with you! No more striving or searching, you are covered by His grace. It is finished.

If you haven’t accepted God’s grace before, or want to renew your confession of faith, pray this simple prayer with me: God, thank you for Your amazing grace made flesh in Your Son, Jesus Christ. I confess that I have sinned and need salvation which I could never earn on my own strength. I believe that Jesus died to pay the penalty for my sins, and was raised to life again to defeat death which held me captive. I accept your gift of life and freedom to have life everlasting with You. Amen. 

Thanks be to God for His rich and abundant grace to restore us back to life in Him. 

Have a faith question and wish you could get a response? Send an email or drop me a comment to let me know your question. I just might respond in a blog post like this one!

Further reading:
Acts 15:11, Romans 4:4-5, 11:6

Thank you so much for spending some of your time journeying with me, it is truly an honor. Please be sure to subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page for updates; it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

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