God’s Help

Letter to my future self

Is it hard for you to accept help too, or is it just me? It can be very difficult for me to accept help from people and from God. Pride can get in the way so easily, and that’s especially when the way of the world can seem more important than the Way of Jesus. However, it’s fundamental to Christian faith to be able to accept help and grace from Jesus, and from His people. Even when I believed they couldn’t help. Even when I felt it looked weak. For some of us, it’s not as easy as it sounds to accept help.

I hope you have looked to God to help you with all of these things.” When I was 14, I wrote that in a letter to my “40-something” self. I pulled it out of dust today, and while I’m not quite 40 yet, that letter reminded me of how much God has taught me this past year about how to let Him help me. Even at 14, I knew it was a struggle for me. I was used to walking in the opposite direction of God for help, trying to help my own self, thank you so much. I wouldn’t have admitted that, though. But, revelation comes when we are ready to see it. God is so mercifully patient with us that way.

I was lost in the way of the world and couldn’t stop going the wrong way, like running on a treadmill with a broken emergency brake. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I needed help. God helped me first by letting me break all the way down. To the point where I couldn’t help myself even if and when I tried. “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:2). It was humbling, but it was the lesson I needed. We can’t humble or transform our own hearts, we need Jesus to do that.

Part of me will probably always be prone to being tempted to earn things for myself; I think that’s normal for us human beings. But God has been faithfully teaching me a new Way, a Way of freedom from sin, including the pride that kept me from accepting help. My letter showed me that my 14-year-old self was longing for it and I’m grateful that I’m finally starting to learn. And God is faithful to teach you too. He never gives up on us, not even after many, many years. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). So now, though I’m sure I’ll mess up again, because hi, human, I’m looking to Him more than ever to live a life aligned with the Truth: that it is only by God’s help that we have every breath and blessing.

May we all learn to rest in the Truth of God’s help, aware of how completely we depend on Him for all we need. Amen.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:8).

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God’s Plan

There are a lot of unknowns right now, not just in the world but in my own life. I have been unlearning my old ways of thinking, operating, and planning for the future, and slowly, slowly learning God’s way. It’s very freeing, but a very, very big adjustment. I used to measure a decision based mostly on how it would benefit me. God’s plan, however, is all about what is best for everyone.

My plans failed a lot, but the amazing thing we see when reading Scripture is that God’s plans never fail. In Acts 5, one lone Pharisee named Gamaliel stood up for Peter and John who were being persecuted for their witness about Jesus, and said to the Jewish council, “…if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. . . .” (Acts 5:38b-39a). The wisdom of knowing that God’s plan never fails is a comfort in these moments of uncertainty we face. Our plans then must be looked at in light of God’s plan. When they align, we can find a great satisfaction our work, because it matters in eternity.

The plans we make to gain or get ahead may work for a while, but eventually if they’re not aligned with God’s plan, they fail. So, what is God’s plan for us? “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). These were God’s words to His people the Israelites before Jesus came to earth; today God offers us the Way of hope and peace through faith in Jesus. For me lately, God’s plans have looked a lot less like striving to set myself up for the future and a lot more like seeking Him, talking to Him, and trusting Him with the next step.

Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise when our plans don’t work out, as it has been for me many times in my own life, because they weren’t God’s plans to begin with. It’s often been much clearer to me what was or wasn’t God’s plan in hindsight, but knowing His plan for us is very connected to the closeness of relationship we have with Him. King David, known as a man after God’s own heart, said to his son, “And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever” (1 Chronicles 28:9). When our hearts, plans, and thoughts are seeking after God and we live in a way that builds relationship with Him, His plans for our next step aren’t as mysterious. They will most likely be aligned with who He uniquely made us to be and for the eternal benefit of everyone involved. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21).

God’s plan for us is far greater than I can comprehend, but I know it involves close relationship with Him through Jesus, who bore the life sentence penalty for our sin. The world teaches that making decisions that only benefit ourselves and striving for security in the future is the smart thing to do, a way to get ahead of most other people. But I’ve learned that this is an empty and meaningless way to think about life, because it’s not God’s plan for us to be selfish in this world. His plans are eternal, not finite or reactionary or fear-based at all. The people who are rich in the Lord, who have their sins paid in full by the blood of Jesus, are the ones who have true security. “God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.'” (1 Corinthians 1:28-31).

May we see life in light of eternity, looking to the future hope that Jesus brings us, and may we seek God’s plans for us today in Christ Jesus. Amen.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Christ, things in heaven and things on earth in him” (Ephesians 1:7-10).

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

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In Flesh and Spirit

Applying the Bible to day-to-day life is an ongoing, daily decision. For a long time, I didn’t really understand how it applied to my job or sleep or inner monologue. I got very used to doing whatever felt right and seemed right to me at the time, which I’d describe as my default way of being. I later learned the Bible calls it the way of the flesh. 1 Corinthians 3:3 calls being in the flesh “behaving only in a human way.” Well, human is what I am, isn’t it? Why should I expect more?

But we all do, don’t we? We know what we want to do, but sometimes—or as was in my case, often—we just don’t. No great explanation, we just fail to show up, fail to follow through, or run out of time or energy. I think Paul captures this frustration best, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me” (Romans 7:18-20). This isn’t to be read as an excuse for doing things we ought not do. Instead, it highlights how much we need Jesus. Only through Him can we be given the ability to do God’s will, or using the language in the ESV Bible, the ability to walk by the Spirit. “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).

The way out of the frustrating cycle of doing what we don’t want to do depends entirely on how dependent we are on Jesus. To be in the spirit involves our minds, our thoughts: “those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit” (Romans 8:5b). It also involves leaving behind the selfishness that our flesh defaults to, “if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Romans 8:13b). Easier said than done, eh? Our minds churn out thousands of thoughts every day, and our bodies creep toward seeking comfort at every turn. To go against all that seemingly makes us human to obey God is no small feat, and one that we simply cannot do alone.

No matter how difficult it can be to resist old patterns of thought and behavior, God does not set us up to fail. To depend on Jesus is to be set up by Jesus with the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to be able to transcend our human weaknesses to obey the will of God. In surrender to God, we can love Jesus and keep His commandments (John 14). This is something our flesh simply cannot do. When we trust in Jesus and obey Him, we are able to walk by the Spirit and do things that aren’t possible on our own strength.

When we don’t depend on Jesus daily, or take care to walk in relationship with Him, we can quickly default to a self-pleasing or people-pleasing way of being, or the way of flesh. Jesus warns of this happening even when our intentions are good, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

By trying to be like God we fell into the state of being in the flesh. But in His grace, God has made a way for us to walk in the spirit despite our human shortcomings. In fact, He turns our weakness into the very avenue that leads us to Him. It is when we admit to and surrender our weakness to God in trust that He empowers us to walk in the Spirit.

The flesh, while something we must all live with and are warned about in Scripture, can be used for good when we choose to surrender it to Jesus. It makes your relationship with Jesus so much closer! It is in admitting the weakness of the flesh that I found out how completely I had to surrender to Jesus, and it is so worth it. Paul acknowledges this too, “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

In Jesus, we have the power to overcome the power that the flesh has over us, and the power to walk in a way of goodness and obedience far beyond our human capability. He is faithfully restoring all things that were lost through Jesus. May we choose to walk in the Spirit daily, just as God created us to do from the Beginning. Amen.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! . . .” (Romans 7:21-25).

…if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. . . .” (Acts 5:38b-39a).

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The Spiritual Disciplines: Silence

One of my favorite things to do is take a silent retreat. It is impossible to predict how it will go; they can be both terrifying and peacefully beautiful. The presence of the Lord is both and for me that’s what a silent retreat is all about: seeking God’s Presence.

I’ve tried to take at least one such retreat each year for the last few years. The retreats don’t have to be very long, but they have become welcome times when I can find a place in the year from which to move forward. (I’ve never really been a big fan of January 1st as a fresh start.) Scripture describes time with God to be refreshing: “Repent . . . that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord…” (Acts 3:19-20). I’ve certainly found this to be True.

It seems odd at times to talk about being in God’s Presence as a discipline or spiritual practice; God is after all omnipresent. The Holy Spirit is always with us (John 14:12-13). However, hearing His still, small Voice sometimes does require intentionality. It takes effort to be silent, take the time to listen, and simply marvel at the fact that through Jesus, we can enjoy being with our holy Father. Sometimes it takes silence on our part to appreciate this profound gift.

I wrote about the practice of solitude years ago in a previous blog, TSD: Solitude. Solitude and silence often go together very closely, and often have the same broad goal of connecting with God. However, some of my most profound times of silence have not been in solitude, but in the company of other seekers of God’s Presence. Practicing silence in community is something very sacred, and I don’t have proper words for it, except to encourage you to experience it on a silent retreat for yourself.

Silence as a spiritual discipline implies visiting a place of inner quietness along with and often helped by getting in a quiet outer environment. As I’ve worked for the past year to disconnect from the things which tend to rev up my inner noise, I’ve noticed it’s become a little bit easier to rest. Resting in God’s Presence is something I have struggled with, but it is indeed what God asks of us. Like sheep, we are invited to rest in the care of God our Shepherd in trust that He has our lives in His hands, and that we don’t need to fear (Psalm 23).

Yet, being in God’s Presence, as I mentioned, can be terrifying, or at least something to prefer to avoid. Psalm 90 describes this, “You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence” (Psalm 90:8). Nothing is hidden when we come before God and enter His Presence intentionally. Suddenly, we may become acutely aware of our utter failure to hold up our end of the relationship with God, to be perfect as Jesus was. Thankfully, Jesus’ perfection covers us, having allowed us to be in God’s Presence in the first place. We are utterly dependent on Jesus, and in the practice of silence we can become more aware of this fact. “For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf” (Hebrews 9:24). We cannot give defense of our sins before God, as we so easily can try to do before people. In God’s Presence, we are completely undone. “Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the God of Jacob,” (Psalm 114:7). That’s the terrifying bit. The fear of God is a necessary part of relationship with Him.

But the beauty of it is worth that momentary discomfort. (No one said silence was easy!) After experiencing the humility that comes from being in His Presence, comes the incredible love and grace God gives freely and abundantly. His Presence is an expression of love for us; it is where we are transformed and healed. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18). If you want to be changed, drawing near to God, being in His Presence, is the only way I’ve found leads to real transformation.

Silence is not easy and it takes some intention. But it is a practice, and it is one that can help our relationship with God if we are willing to take the risk. Practice silence in solitude and practice silence with others, but most of all, don’t hold back from all that is awaiting you in God’s Presence.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

And he said, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest‘” (Exodus 33:14).

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11).

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From Death to Life

Self acceptance was never my strong suit. I focused much of my attention all my life on being “better;” self improvement was my favorite genre. Perfectionism ruled and ruined me. I knew I could never be perfect, but my actions told a different story. While I achieved, I was never content. I wanted to be better than I am at everything I cared about, like dance, academics, and yes, following Jesus.

When the initial passion wore off and these things inevitably became a box to check off my list, I’d get down on myself all the more. Sometimes I’d double down, sometimes I’d quit for months. The concept of following Jesus, living in close, trusting relationship with God, sounded great. I wanted to love God more than anything, and failed over and over. But perfectionism, or even self improvement, is fruitless when God isn’t asking it of us. It took time for me to learn that God really doesn’t expect us to be perfect.

I heard a line in a sermon recently that has been ringing True ever since: “Jesus didn’t come to make good people better, He came to make dead people alive.” All this pressure I tend to put on myself to be “better,” it is not the business of Jesus. He makes our souls, once dead to the bondage of sin, alive. There is so much to rejoice in with that! The Psalmist wrote, “For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life” (Psalm 56:13). That Jesus delivers us from death is worth meditating on, rather than our faults and shortcomings. Rather than my worrying about being “better,” I realized it was far better to focus on what Jesus has already done.

Jesus brought several people from literal death to life, including Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:22-43; Luke 8:41-56), and Lazarus (John 11:14-44). But His legitimacy as the Son of God and the legitimacy of everything He said during His three years of ministry was confirmed when He Himself died and came back to life. “He [Jesus] presented himself alive to them after his suffering by many proofs, appearing to them during forty days and speaking about the kingdom of God” (Acts 1:3). Those who saw Jesus alive after He had died on the cross then later risked their lives to tell others what they had witnessed.

Today, Jesus is in the business of bringing people dead in sin (and soul) to life. He brings people like me and you back from this death every day. I was dead in bondage to sin, which kept me tied to striving, perfectionism, and self criticism. But Jesus made a way for me off of that road of self destruction and on a path with Him and for Him in the “light of life.” We still need to take up our cross daily (Matthew 16:24, Luke 9:23) to follow Jesus, but He set us free from death when He rose from the dead. That’s the good news. And we’re not just free, either, but victorious over death with Jesus. He shares His victorious life with us.

Halleluiah, Jesus is alive, and because of Him and His love for us, so are we!

He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you” (Matthew 28:6-7).

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Characteristics of God: The Goodness of God

Like the worship song implies, God can and should be praised all day long for His goodness. But do we? I fall short time after time to give God the praise and worship I know He is worthy to receive. I ignore Him, go my own way, and simply disobey far more often than I’d like to admit. My own lack of surrender is heavy on my heart today. I have touched on the topic of goodness in previous posts such as Human Goodness, and The Profound Sufficiency of Christ, but today, God’s goodness is front and center.

Life with God does not mean we will feel happy all the time. It involves feeling the pain of life when God feels far away, when prayers feel blocked, or when the weight of conviction feels suffocating. It’s all part of it. Life with God is not easy. Because of God’s goodness, however, we can still take heart! “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:13-14).

In Psalm 23, David pours out a song to God that ends with the promise of God’s goodness: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6). Goodness is what comes of walking with God like a sheep with their shepherd. If we’re the sheep, we just don’t do so well when separated from our shepherd. We need God, and when we walk with Him through our lives, we experience His goodness.

Goodness is a characteristic of God. God is the embodiment of goodness; Scripture reveals that throughout history, He seeks and works things out for the best for everyone. He is kind to us when we have been unkind, merciful to us when we haven’t shown mercy, and faithful to us when we haven’t been faithful in our devotion to Him, all because He is so incredibly, miraculously, unfathomably good! He gives us His abundant goodness because that is who He is–loving and generous and faithful to give us many chances to turn to Him and come into agreement with the way He made us and the purpose for His creation. His best for us is realized when we choose Him as our Shepherd. In His great goodness, He wants the best for us. He wants us to be His because being under His care is where we thrive best.

On the days we feel heavy with the weight of our human limitations, it’s often because we’re paying too much attention to ourselves, instead of God. What would happen if we focused on Jesus instead? What good would it do our hearts to imagine Jesus sitting next to us, no words needed, just His eyes looking into ours with His loving goodness, without any condemnation (Romans 8:1)?

He does not want us to sit long in the heaviness of our own shortcomings. He invites us to simply and humbly accept that He paid for it on the cross. What profound goodness is found in this! His blood is sufficient, and our debt is paid. In these days when I glimpse the depths I’ve been saved from, I appreciate His goodness all the more fully and deeply. He is the only place we find refuge from our sin. “But my eyes are toward you, O God, my Lord; in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless!” (Psalm 141:8) What a good Father God is, that He is a place of refuge from all the heaviness, shame, and sin that would seek to destroy us.

May we fix our eyes on His goodness, and may we be open to receive the great goodness of God in our lives and hearts today. Amen.


I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13).

“For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all“(Romans 11:32).

What shall I return to the Lord for all his goodness to me?” (Psalm 116:12).

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Sanctification and Fruitfulness

This year, I’ve visited more farms than I can remember visiting in any previous summer. I’ve picked strawberries, peaches, and flowers. I’ve smelled the Maryland tomatoes and cantaloupes piled high in farmer’s market bins. I’ve felt the sun more than I have since I was in middle school. It’s been healing.

Stale, work computer-charged air a distant memory, I’ve been appreciating the delight of abundance this harvest season. The earth’s harvest is very symbolic in Scripture; it has so much to teach us, especially if, like me, you’ve had to adapt to measuring time by email deadlines rather than by the seasons of Creation.

The harvest season comes with a lot of opportunity to connect with God and each other. As summer yields the crop for the year, seeing the abundance of God’s provision has given me a childlike wonder and delight. A single fruit tree bearing incredible quantities of fruit in just one season has been quite a sight to behold on the farm.

I’ve been longing for the ability to make my own life fruitful to live in the beautiful ways Scripture says is possible (eg: John 15:5, Galatians 5:16-25). But I often feel sorely lacking, and in a season not of abundance but of drought. I’ve been reading about and longing for sanctification and frustrated by its slow, and at times painful, progress that takes a long time to yield fruit and a lifetime to be completed. Sanctification is hard to define, but it involves seeing the Truth to the point of no longer being deceived by selfish desires or goals to find fulfillment, and dedication to serving God and doing His will, instead of my own. This is foolishness to the world of email deadlines, profit margins, and fiscal year spreadsheets that I was entangled with for years, and the process of detangling has been a wild one.

Like the wheat and weeds grow up together, people who love Jesus grow here in the world along with everyone else and everything else (Matthew 13:24-30). Followers of Jesus are not to be removed, but to remain in the world and be an influence for good. Jesus prayed for His followers in His high priestly prayer before His arrest, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it” (John 17:15-16) (NIV). The answer to sanctification is not shutting out all of the entanglements, temptations, and evil and hope that that makes us good enough people. We can’t escape the world, nor does God want us to. What makes us able to be fruitful among it all is utter devotion to and dependence on Jesus and His sanctifying work in our hearts.

Jesus continues His prayer, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified” (John 17:17-19) (NIV). Jesus prayed for our sanctification. Sanctification involves abiding in Jesus. Abiding, like sanctification, is ongoing, not bound by time at all. We all live in the tension of waiting for the fullness of God’s provision and work in us. It isn’t something I can achieve or be rewarded with. It’s something I simply need to allow. Simple, yet, at least for me, incredibly difficult.

It’s worth it though, because sanctification leads to our lives bearing good fruit. As we allow God by the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:16, 1 Corinthians 6:11) to work in and sanctify us, we grow and mature. We are transformed by Him in holiness, or moral purity in our attitudes, thoughts, and actions. I’ve witnessed this change in people, and it’s simply miraculous.

The fruit that comes as a result of sanctification is loving people as God loves us, living with joy, walking in peace, caring with patience, bearing with others in kindness, and so on (Galatians 5:22-23). Sanctification involves our hearts, minds, and spirits coming to a place that no longer gives in to anything that blocks us from abiding in Him. And again, we’re on a lifelong journey to be sanctified. God is faithful to sanctify His people, even though it may feel slow and painful and impossible at times. This season of abundant, fruitful harvest reminds me of this hope for my own life.

There’s nothing we can do to earn sanctification or speed it up or work toward it. The work is allowing and completely depending on God to do the work that is needed in us, and having faith that He is, has been, and will be working. May God help us on the days we resist His work, and may our lives bear fruit as we allow Him to work through us. Amen.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

Take Heart

I hadn’t watched the news in a long time until yesterday. I don’t have regular TV and haven’t missed it. Horrors in the region, the state, the country, and the world all neatly packed into 2-minute segments, just long enough to instill a sense of fear or dread or can’t-miss-the-update-we’ll-oh-so-conveniently-bring-you-at-5. The world is full of stories, and now we know them whether we want to or not. Having peace in our hearts and minds is what we need to thrive, create, and learn new things. In such an environment, how do we have peace?

Thankfully, Jesus shows us how to break bad news to people we care about, without compromising their peace. In John 16, before His arrest, Jesus tells His disciples He’s going away, and that some scary things will happen, things they never imagined were possible. Then, in one of my favorite verses in the whole Bible, Jesus says, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). The world and peace don’t ever seem to coincide, even 2000 years ago. Jesus isn’t telling his friends horrible things to scare them, He’s saying that no matter what comes, peace is found in Him.

Circumstances we face may be terrible, but Jesus isn’t ignorant to them. He knows about them, He is not scared by them, and He is a steady place to go when things in the world try to knock us off balance. Jesus is where we can find peace.

About 60 years after Jesus’ time, the apostle Paul wrote to the early Christian church from prison, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11). Speaking of his imprisonment, Paul wrote to his friends with not only hopefulness but profound encouragement, “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ” (Philippians 1:12-13). Paul knew that God was bigger than his predicament of being imprisoned, and that God hadn’t left him, evidenced clearly by the fruitfulness that came of it. You can almost hear the joy and peace in Paul’s tone when he writes, “…most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear” (Philippians 1:14).

Paul’s chains do not keep God from working through him, and in fact, his imprisonment may have helped the Gospel spread all the faster and more powerfully. So friends, there is no circumstance too dark or scary for God to walk with you in and work through you in. There is nothing that can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39).

The circumstances in the world will be difficult, yes. Oppressive, yes. Inducing of suffering, yes. But we are not left defenseless. Jesus gave us reason not to let the fear that the world can incite take over our hearts. Jesus gave us the Truth, that He has overcome the world (John 16:33). The Truth is compared in Scripture to the belt (Ephesians 6:14) in the description of the armor of God we are commanded to take up. Peace is compared to the shoes (Ephesians 6:15), needed for our sense of readiness. It is from a place of peace in Jesus that we can be ready to endure, solid as a pillar in the Truth, fully surrendered in trust that the Lord will provide all we need out of His deep and abiding love for us.

Though we will be challenged by the world daily to retreat in fear, Jesus tells us to “take heart” in the face of it all. He has overcome the world that scares, threatens, questions our identity, and challenges our faith. May we therefore take heart!

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Jesus’ Kingdom vs. my kingdom

Tomorrow I am about to do something that one year ago I wasn’t sure I would again…drive on a highway.

I quit my corporate job almost one year ago. I was miserable, burned out, and wasn’t able to drive a car because it would trigger a horrible panic attack. My body was tired from constant anxiety and a high heart rate. I thought that by staying at a “good” job I was being responsible, taking care of my own life. But oh, how much I was missing! I can only see now in hindsight that my soul was dying. No matter what I did I couldn’t shake that feeling. I was living in the cage I’d unknowingly built for myself, filled with fear and devoid of true surrender. (Creed’s “My Own Prison,” anyone?)

I got to a point last year when the only thing I hadn’t tried was letting go of the idea of controlling my own life. Control was something that I had believed I had to have so fiercely that I couldn’t discern that there was any other way to think. I’d nod at sermons saying to let God be in control, but I had no idea what that really meant for me in my own life. Well, this is the year I found out!

At my wit’s end in a constant state of anxiety, I was forced to take the chance, and tried my very best (pretty badly) to force myself to trust that God would make a way for me as I actively let go of my job. I took a step not knowing what I was going to do next, but at least trusting that I couldn’t stay where I was while also living the life of thriving and wholeness in Christ that I have believed in and have been inching toward since 2015 when I gave my life to Jesus. I just knew He didn’t want me to feel like I was dying every day. He doesn’t want anyone to feel that way.

If you do feel that way today, know that you aren’t alone. Know that that isn’t how life is supposed to feel. Know that God has better for you and always, ALWAYS gives us a way out of our ways of death and into His abundant life. But it will be painful at first to first realize what has been allowed in your life and then to let go of what feels normal. It sure has been for me.

This last year, my life has been testimony story after testimony story of how God restored me inside and out. He provided a real rest, which I so desperately needed after forcing myself to work on something that was not good for my spirit for so long. He used my family to help me enjoy living again, walking again, cooking again, doing things that I actually enjoy again. He healed me from the constant state of panic that I had been suffering with for months. He inspired me to be creative and use my creativity again–but for His Kingdom, not my own. He restored my soul (Psalm 23:3) by teaching me how to wait for and hear His voice. He gave me opportunity to serve others. He is faithful to complete the good work He started in us (Philippians 1:6). Please don’t forget, because it’s so easy to, but remember that He will never leave you, and He will make a way for life in your soul with Him.

So what about tomorrow? I’m driving a long distance, because God healed me of the fear that kept me stuck not driving for months, to go to a place where God called me to go, and be in a place where He called me to be. I can be free, and it’s only because of Him and His work in me. He freed me not only of the mental cage of having to be in control, but the physical restriction of being unable to get myself anywhere in a car. He is truly the Healer. In whatever way you may need healing in your life today, friends, go to Jesus. His Kingdom is the only one that will last, and the only one that brings life.

as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18).

“‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!'” (Revelation 5: 13b)

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Remembering Eden

As I mentioned in my last post, The Intimate Love of God, God loves each of us in a profound, meaningful, specific way. I recently heard someone say, “Religion is something to lean on;” and while I can understand that, rather, I see God as Someone to lean on. The relationship is more personal, maybe than we’ve ever considered before. I shared in my last post how God spoke to me through my appreciation for the beauty of a flower, but odds are that’s not the way God would speak meaningfully to your heart. Maybe you’re wondering what it might look like. Maybe you’ve yet to experience it, or maybe it’s been a while.

Thankfully, we can all rest in the truth that God meets us right where we are. When He speaks to us in ways that resonate at our core, His meaning often can just hit us right between the eyes. And in my experience, that’s often when I’m not really looking! When God speaks, His meaning can rush upon us all at once, without any need to analyze (but honestly, we probably do anyway). In speaking to us profoundly, God actually reflects back to us how we see, showing each of us in different and diverse ways that He not only knows us, but He understands how we understand, and can speak to us powerfully because of it.

Diverse Facets of Seeing*  

Maybe for you, you see and appreciate integrity and rightness above pretty much everything else. Virtue and wholeness speak to your soul in a special way. You’re always looking for it, often expecting it, and when you don’t see it in the world, you notice. You feel most at ease when things are in balance and when they meet an innate and intuitive standard of goodness. 

Or maybe instead, you deeply value love and appreciation. Giving care and being needed is an honor and a privilege that you don’t take lightly. You have a keen awareness of what is needed, and are happy to deliver whenever and for whoever you can. You love in ways that are deeply rooted in genuine care and concern for others. 

Perhaps this still doesn’t resonate for you, and instead you appreciate respect for significance, both of yourself and other people. Glory, not in an idolatrous way at all, but in a way that inspires awe, gives you a feeling like nothing else. When something is the best it can be, whether it is an experience, an object, a situation, a relationship, that feels like home to you.

Or maybe like me, you respond to beauty more than most everything else and appreciate how it speaks volumes about the truth. You’ll take the authentic truth above all because honesty and genuine connection requires it. Deep connection is something that fills you up. 

Or instead, perhaps endless, perfect knowledge speaks volumes to you. You enjoy having a wealth of knowledge to gain valuable insight into the interconnectedness of all things. You appreciate the wisdom to be had in knowing and understanding as much as possible, including life and vitality itself.

Maybe for you nothing speaks to your heart more than perfect security, total provision, and unwavering supportiveness and faithfulness. You recognize the deep importance of this and try to model your own life in this way, loyally supporting other people. 

Or maybe instead, joy and joyful perspective speaks volumes to you. You value experiencing new and exciting things, taking great delight in enjoyment of them. You also see being in a content and satisfied state as something very valuable; you appreciate it when you see it in the world or experience it yourself. 

Perhaps instead, deep trust and trustworthiness mean the most to you. You have an innate sense of knowing that strength, power, and justice are extremely valuable, and the role that trust plays in those qualities. You know the need for and want to have strong and steady protective power available for you and those you love. 

Finally, maybe instead you place the most value on true peace and stability, especially when it comes to your inner world and the people you know. You feel most at home when and where you can experience real and deep harmony, unity, kindness, and patience for all.

Whichever of these nine ways of seeing resonates the most with you, each one actually values a particular characteristic of God, all of which were available to us in the Garden of Eden. What we value and how we see speaks to God’s original design for us, which was ultimately to thrive in His presence in the Garden of Eden. 

In Eden, God intended for us to have the fullness of all of these things that we now “remember” in the unique ways we see: goodness, love, glory, beauty, insight, security, joy, protection, and peace. 

Each of these things are things we know deeply are true, right, important, meaningful, and valuable. We can become frustrated when they do not fully materialize in our lives. We are constantly aware of their presence or absence in a given situation, without even trying. It’s as if we “know” the way it is intended to be. We “remember” with our innate intuition what it “should be like” even as we live and go about our days in a fallen world. We just can’t shake it. Do you feel this way too? A piece of Eden, I like to call it a “felt sense” of Eden, stays with us even now. As we reflect God’s design, we also intuitively try to restore the Garden-like state that we see is needed in our lives. Even though we know we’re not in Eden anymore and it’s a fallen world, we still see even the tiny glimpses of that original design.  

The Good News is that God is working to restore all that was lost. God is the fullness of all of these conditions in Eden and more. Jesus embodies them all, perfectly. In His presence, we too have the fullness of all nine of these things, not even just the one we favor the most. We were made for His presence in Eden, made to live in a place with the perfect, whole goodness, love, glory, beauty, insight, security, joy, protection, and peace found only in God.  

We all have a “felt sense” of at least one aspect of Eden’s paradise. 

Eden: where all was good, where perfect love permeated in every relationship, where the glory of God was palpable and reflected from every living thing, where wild beauty sang and soared with meaningful true connection, where insightful understanding was had by all, where all were securely provided for in every way, where delightful joy was in and poured from every heart, where trust held strong, and where unity and peace reigned. That, my friends, is where we belong. That is what God intended for us.  

Isn’t that amazing news? And by appreciating these aspects, not only can we better understand how God communicates to us, but in this we can be reminded that we truly do reflect His image. All of humanity was made to appreciate the facets of God uniquely. Even though Eden is gone, God retains these special pathways to see and communicate with Him that He placed in us from the Beginning, and He uses them to speak to our hearts in ways that nothing and no one else can. Friends, even when things feel silent and dark, take heart, all is not lost. Restoration is happening, even now.

May the way you see proclaim the truth of Christ’s fulfillment of our need for Eden to your heart today. 

But, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.’–” (1 Corinthians 2:9). 

*Language for and aspects of the ways of seeing were incorporated from Your Enneagram Coach and work by Marilyn Vancil.  

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.