Do You Still Trust Me?

I didn’t know what it meant to trust God until I had to trust God. I could talk all day calmly and logically about trusting God from a young age, but until I was faced with multiple medical emergencies, accidents, tragedies, and crossroads in life, I had no idea what “trusting God” meant. At first, I took these difficult circumstances as God’s indifference, and the chaos and cruelty of life. Now after more experience, I can say that I’m grateful for them. They have been opportunities, however difficult, to trust God more completely, wholeheartedly, and desperately. They’ve been a very quick and accurate test that shows me just how much I’m relying on God, or not.

We go to school to provide for ourselves in some way, intellectually or for new skills. We work to provide an income to pay for living expenses. Many of us do this all our lives. But we must never forget that it is God who provides for us, not ourselves. God, “who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’” (Deuteronomy 8:16-17). The pride of self-reliance is a trap I’ve fallen into many times. But we see in this passage, God tests us in this, and it’s for our good. It’s been the difficulties, such as those I faced when I could no longer rely on myself the way I was used to, that have helped me most to live life every day with the King.

In the Characteristics of God series, we have delved into the details of who God is, what He’s really like according to Scripture, and why we can trust Him in the first place. Knowing God’s character is necessary to begin to live in step with Him, His will for us, and the people in our lives. We cannot trust someone we don’t know.

God trusts you with the struggles in your life. He trusts that you will walk through them and discover how He is walking with you, and know Him better for it. He trusts that you will respond to His love once you recognize it. He trusts that eventually you will recognize how He provides for you in the struggle. God is patient to let you take your time in grasping the incomprehensibility of His sacrificial, unconditional love for you, and the amazing freedom you actually have in that great love.

Jesus never exploits us or forces us into loving Him. The Apostle Paul wrote, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He died for us while we were still sinning against Him. While we disobeyed Him and separated ourselves from Him, He still chose to sacrifice His life for ours. We only need to believe that He really is that merciful, faithful, good, and gracious. Jesus gave us reason to rejoice, and provided all we need, besides. We are truly safe and free in His love!

With every new challenge this past year, it was as if God was asking me the question, “Do you still trust me?” Physiologically this past year, I felt anything but safe or free. The time of establishing my faith was long over, and in this season, I was tested on whether that faith could be shaken. Not only that, but tested in learning to trust God in real time, while experiencing the panic and grief that came with burnout. Did I know what to trust God for? Did I know who He was and what He promises to His people? Did I believe they applied to me even while I was afraid? I needed God to walk with me through that test; I couldn’t endure on my own. He has been faithful to see me through to this new season, where there will surely be new challenges to face. But now on the other side of that particular test, I’ve learned by experience how much God can be trusted.

We all face challenges in our lives that are more than we can bear; each are invitations from God to lean on Him. He will get us to the other side of the challenges we face. We can’t handle them on our own, we need God to provide. The more we recognize that reality, the more God can work in our humbled hearts, ready and expectant for Him to work on our behalf, for our good. We need Him to free us from pride that keeps us bound in self defensiveness, fear, and selfishness. In the Book of James, James writes, “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you” (James 4:10). The more I agree with the reality that God is in charge, not me, the more freedom I experience.

May God break every chain in us to live free in His love. Amen.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:4).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

I Have To . . . Pray

I spent most of my life doing what I was asked to do, for the most part. Without giving it too much thought, I’d hear there was a need, and try to deliver. I’d show up at places I didn’t necessarily want to be out of obligation or appearance, or I’d be quick to say yes when there was a hint of disappointment if I’d first said no. I’d talk about things I didn’t really want to talk about because that’s where the conversation went and I didn’t want to upset anyone by shutting them down.

But the Lord has been challenging this default setting in my brain, which was deeply rooted in a fear of man. Is my giving in to do something I don’t feel right about a good challenge or something I’m simply not called to do? It’s becoming clearer to me lately that the best way to handle these points of decision is to pause and pray–about every single thing, every single time. This has been an exercise both of re-wiring my own mindless default to be intentional, and of trust that I will hear from the Lord when I ask for this guidance. While it is a needed work, it’s still a work in progress.

In the book of Nehemiah, we read that this exile felt passionately when hearing about the destruction in Jerusalem, his former home. There is this staggering verse, “Then the king said to me, ‘What are you requesting?’ So I prayed to the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 2:4). I don’t know about you, but that verse hit me between the eyes. It casually documents how Nehemiah dialoged with God in the middle of a conversation!

Nehemiah, even though he feels strongly about the situation, doesn’t act out of impulse. Even in the moment of speaking to a foreign king who could easily accuse him of treason and punish or kill him, Nehemiah prays to God for how to answer the king’s question in that very moment. He had spent days in prayer and fasting before having that conversation with the king. But in the moment, he again seeks the Lord’s input on how to gain the king’s favor. He keeps the dialog with God that he’d started days before going and speaks to the king, even though he admits that he was “very much afraid” (Nehemiah 2:2).

God was with Nehemiah, and blessed his mission. In preserving this story for us in His Word, I hear God inviting us all to pray, listening to Him, seeking His will. He invites us to follow His prompting, as Nehemiah did, instead of going with what we may “feel” is right. To ask ourselves how something will affect our relationship with God can be helpful in knowing what is right for us. In praying and receiving wisdom and strength from the Holy Spirit we can know what is ours to do, or what God has ordained for us to accomplish according to His will. We don’t have to say yes to things that aren’t from God. In fact, those things can and will distract from His will for us if we let them. We all have a unique calling and purpose in Jesus, but it’s in the everyday moments, and in-the-moment conversations, that hold the opportunities for living it out.

Nehemiah teaches us that both prayer in earnest and preparation, and prayer in the moment are important. Before I do anything, I have to pray. While I am in the middle of my mission, I have to pray. Without God’s guidance, I can’t do a single thing that’s right. Believe me, I’ve tried. These are dark days, and the light of Jesus is desperately needed. Prayer puts us in the presence of God. The more we are in His presence, the more we are able to reflect His light in this world. Let us remember with intention and purpose to pray, both in the long, extended quiet, and in the moment of action. Let us remember that deep relationship with God invites us to both. May God help us all to deepen our walk and relationship with Him!

I invite you to pray the Lord’s Prayer with me today:

…’Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.’ And he said to them, ‘When you pray, say:

Father, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread,

and forgive us our sins,

for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

And lead us not into temptation‘” (Luke 11:1b-4).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.