Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth

Today I invite you to celebrate with me because six years ago today, I started Life with the King. My first post was called What To Do When You Struggle with Faith. The timestamp is a day late, July 25th, for some computer-y reason I couldn’t fix at the time. I remember having a blog launch party at my house with a few friends and games and food and I was so excited, but nervous. I’ve been journaling since I was seven years old, happy to have a private place to put my thoughts. The decision to be vulnerable enough to share thoughts with other people wasn’t easy, but at the time I just knew it was something I simply had to do. And I’m so glad I did. Six years later, and I still know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.

The idea behind my website’s tagline, “Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth,” is something that I don’t know that I ever explained, or intended to explain. Those who get it will get it, I told myself. But perhaps now it’s time to go back six years and tell the story behind that tagline.

When I decided on the tagline “Seeking Life’s Deeper Truth,” I had just come from the previous six-year stretch from 2013-2019 of seeking Truth after finding myself caught in a lot of confusion and outright lies that I had sincerely thought were truths up until that point. I never believed in Santa Claus, but just imagine what it is like to find out the truth about him, only you’re an adult, then multiply it by about ten because it impacted every single area of life, and that’s roughly how it felt.

To believe that being a Christian means you’ll be happy every day, to believe that you’re doing everything you can to live well when your gods are television and weekends and looking successful in your career, to believe people need to earn their worth and find their identities in the world…the list could go on and on. I believed these and so many other outright lies and was angry that I had fallen for them. Truth became sacred to me in that period of time. That’s why I now capitalize the word Truth. And I also now believe that Truth has a name. Truth means everything to me in my life and faith journey. The interesting thing about Truth is that this world encourages us to give up on it, have a strange avoidant relationship with it, or lose sensitivity to it just to cope in the moment, while compromising long-term peace.

Confusion is a specialty of the enemy of our souls. The strange thing about Truth is that Satan, as the father of lies (John 8:44), confuses Truth and lies even though they couldn’t be more opposite. And he does this really, really well. Scripture promises that this will get progressively more intense, “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4). Can you think of any teachers or myths with influence being spread today?

The stakes are high, so high that I started a website six years ago to remind others (and continue to myself), that Truth is the most important thing, and it must be sought out. If we are passive and not intentional to seek Truth, we will be swept into the current of lies, so subtly we’ll never even realize it’s happened. I know because that happened to me. I don’t want that even for enemies, but especially not for you, friends.

So I fight against the father of lies by sharing about the Truth when I am given the words. Particularly for me, I fight against the lie of the ego that we are immune to lies. My old post called The Truth about Philosophy and Mental Health is an example of working this out in my own life. I’ve learned the hard way that we must keep our eyes on the Truth, or we may be subject to the wrong king. What would happen if instead of shying away from Truth out of fear of the unknown, we chose to embrace it? For me, it changed everything and it was more than worth the risk.

If we don’t take the risk, we may get to a point where we are told the Truth, and even though we hear it, we don’t recognize it to be True. This happened not only to me but to king Ahab in Scripture. He fell for the trap of his own preference, and believed the lies of the false god prophets, who he chose to follow over Micaiah, who was a prophet of the Lord (2 Chronicles 18). When Truth is clearly presented to us, how do we recognize it when we see it? We must recognize the importance of Truth, seek it, and keep ourselves sensitive to it, no matter the cost. Truth is always worth it.

Seek Truth with all your heart! There is nothing more important. That’s why Life with the King exists. It’s all about Truth, and seeking it for yourselves in the deepest way possible. May you find what you are seeking. Amen.

They bend their tongue like a bow; falsehood and not truth has grown strong in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know me, declares the Lord. Let everyone beware of his neighbor, and put no trust in any brother, for every brother is a deceiver, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer. Everyone deceives his neighbor, and no one speaks the truth; they have taught their tongue to speak lies; they weary themselves committing iniquity.  Heaping oppression upon oppression, and deceit upon deceit, they refuse to know me, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:3-6).

And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray” (Matthew 24:11).

“...they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen” (Romans 1:25).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to Life with the King, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing this blog. Grace and peace.

Life with the King Turns One!

Sharing words with the world has been one of the scariest and most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve always loved writing, but only since last year did I get up the courage to share it for the world to read.

The idea to share a behind-the-scenes peek into Life with the King (LWTK) came from a question from one of YOU fantastic readers: Where did you start and how are you finding contentment and creativity in artistic style?

I always love hearing your ideas; thank you for reflecting with me on the first year of the Life with the King blog!

Why start writing in the first place?

Just like many of the stories I tell in this blog, it all started with an internal struggle. 

I have wanted to be a writer almost as long as I’ve been able to read. The problem was, I didn’t know what I would write about. The more I learned, the more I learned how much I didn’t know, and the more I doubted that what I had to say would be either new or helpful. 

I also knew that if my writing wasn’t vulnerable, it wouldn’t be great. And I wanted to write something great. I didn’t, however, want to be vulnerable. So, I put writing off. 

I journaled off and on; I wrote occasional poems and plays and essays. But I never called myself a writer.

I thought about starting a blog many times in my 20s. In 2012 I experimented with a travel blog and gleefully documented one of my trips nearly every day. But when it came to writing about life and meaning, the things that interested and fascinated me the most, the task seemed just beyond my reach. 

I can’t properly explain how, but I knew intuitively that I didn’t have the life experience yet to produce the depth of content that I wanted to be able to share. I was aware enough to know a well of wisdom about this topic existed, and also that I needed more years in flesh and blood reality to anchor whatever it is I’d write about in that wisdom. So I waited, telling myself I’d write something great someday, trying to make myself feel better about not really doing what I loved. I told myself for years that I just had to be patient. To trust that someday writing would find me again.

How did LWTK start? 

During my 20s, reality developed. I moved twice, had 3 jobs, 3 relationships, a family crisis or two, and a personal crisis of faith. Last year, I finally had a story that I was ready to tell. 

It was then that writing became something I could no longer not do. Speaking to the question of contentment, I was at a point where I just wasn’t content until I started taking steps toward sharing my story through writing. I took this as a clear signal that writing this story was at least part of what I was meant to do here on this earth. 

Yes, part of me felt it was a little self-indulgent to be writing about myself and my experience directly. But again the contentment wasn’t there until I sort of held my nose and did so. After all, writers must write what they know. Artists must express what they feel and observe. That’s the only way I know of to be honest, and honest writing is all I’d ever want to read. Or offer.  

Despite being completely terrified, I published my first blog post one year ago today. I told my friends, “If only one person is helped and doesn’t feel alone in their faith experience, it’ll all be worth it.”

Needless to say now, it’s been more than worth it. 

It’s been a life-giving creative outlet to write my story with the Lord, sharing what He has taught me in the process of rebuilding shattered faith. 

And there is so much more to share that goes beyond the scope of this blog. My hopes to write that book someday are now more alive than ever, all starting with saying “YES!” to obey that tug on my heart. 

Behind the Scenes 

To get a little more vulnerable still, the writing journey while mostly positive hasn’t been all rosey. There was so much passion and momentum when this began a year ago. Not only that, but I was also helped and inspired by my sister Abby, who had launched her own blog just a month before. In those first couple of weeks, we packed our laptops on our family beach trip to keep consistent with our blogging. Without an internet connection where we were staying, we simply got up early nearly every day and drove off to find air conditioned WiFi, leaving the family asleep to work on our writing together. The first few weeks were relatively easy because of the excitement around it and the forethought I had put into a handful of topics.

However writing on my own was harder. Topics eventually run out. Blogging took time, discipline, and energy that I had underestimated in the initial rush of novelty. I soon struggled to post blogs weekly, working a full time job as well as a part time job. Discouragement set in and I stopped posting for several weeks at a time, not because I wanted to stop, but because I had to. I couldn’t continue if I was associating the blog with a feeling I dreaded.  

Because I love this blog. It took a great deal of time, attention, and planning to get it up and running. I have pages and pages of notes just from working out what to call it. I talked to friends about their own blogs and what they learned along the way. The online hosting process alone took me weeks to set up. I set up a post structure to keep me focused before I ever started writing content. 

Just because it was tough and discouraging at times didn’t mean I was going to give up on the blog. 

And that’s exactly how God feels about us. 

God didn’t give up on me, even when I quit on Him. He will never give up on you either.

This time, I wasn’t going to let go of the opportunity I’d been given that easily; I had already done that whole letting-discouragement-stop-me thing in my 20s. Not anymore.

How do you feel about the blog now?

I remember telling my family this January, “I finally feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.” 

Writing is my act of obedience to God. There is meaning in the sharing of Life with the King, and that makes the pain I endured apart from Him have a purpose now. Writing is indeed my way of artistic expression. Bringing truth and light to the darkness is what God does. My aim for LWTK is to bring attention to what I see God doing. We all need a reminder to look for it, myself included.

Today, I can call myself a writer. Today, I can say that God is Good.

I hope Life with the King will continue to encourage you as it begins its second year; no matter how desperate or painful your faith journey might seem, God hasn’t and won’t ever give up on you. Even when you don’t see Him or experience His presence. Even when you don’t believe Him. There is still hope, and joy is still possible. 

Don’t give up. You are not alone, and there is grace even here. 

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever” (Psalm 145:1-2).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.