Guard Your Heart

I recently found the piece of paper that I was given at the last campus ministry large group service I attended before college graduation. On it is a single verse, a verse that I was told at the time was particularly for me:

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)).

At the time, at 22, I was a bit thrown off by this verse. What did that mean? What was I doing to make it seem like my heart was too exposed? Ten years later I can say,

I didn’t know what I was supposed to be guarding. 

But, I wasn’t aware of how to read the Bible for that information at the time. The Bible seemed very removed from my everyday experience. Though I found parts of it interesting, I simply could not see how the Bible could speak much to my present day life.

Over the next six years, my life gradually falling apart, I tried everything else I could think of to guide me instead. The Bible eventually came back into my purview as almost a last resort, when I was exhausted from running into dead ends. Gradually, I had unwittingly done the opposite of “my verse” and let my heart be influenced by almost anything and everything else besides the Truth of the Bible. 

The heart can be manipulated when you don’t know its worth.

The worth of anything can seem different depending on who you ask. But God, the Creator of all things that have worth, determines the true value of our hearts. To uncover why it is so important to guard our hearts, I first needed to understand, from God our Creator’s perspective, what the heart really is and what it is worth.

In looking at the heart closer by how God hardened Pharaoh’s heart in Exodus and how Jesus quoted Isaiah 29 in Matthew 15, we can discover that in the Bible, the heart of a person is referring to the sum of their intellect, will, and emotions. It is like our steering wheel; wherever our heart goes, we will follow. The human will and emotions will surely wander into dangerous territory if they are not rooted. Jesus quoted Isaiah 29:13 which says, “their hearts are far from me. …” in describing the Pharisees, who had staked their lives on being the opposite! We must guard our hearts from getting far away from God, because where the heart goes, we will go with it. 

The heart is so significant that it is what the Lord judges us by. 

Every individual’s heart is precious and valuable. God made us this way. As our Creator, He knows where to look to see our true selves. 

But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart’” (1 Samuel 16:7). 

When our hearts are aligned with the Lord’s character–His love, peace, and grace, we are no longer so prone to having our hearts manipulated. Knowing God’s character is knowing the Truth, which sets us free (John 8:32). 

If your heart is not planted in Truth, you will believe lies. 

We see this in Matthew 25:24-30 in the parable of the talents (sum of money). While this is a familiar and oft-taught passage, I had never caught the fatal error of the heart that the servant made before:

He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground …’ . ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? … . …cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness….’” 

Did you catch it too? The error of the servant was not so much what he did with the talent as it was his misperception of his Master’s true character! In this parable, the Master represents the Lord. It was the servant’s false assumption about who his Master was that determined both his fear and his resulting behavior. His heart had come up with a lie about the character of his Master, and he had believed it without testing whether it was true. 

Your heart is not the source of truth, but it can feel good in the moment to believe it is.

That our hearts will always lead us correctly in life is perhaps the most dangerous lie that pervades today. 

We all need a guiding principle to live by, but if it does not align with the Truth of who God is and what He is really like, we will be misguided. Believing our hearts are our guiding principle, or that simply “following your truth” will lead us correctly is simply false. We are not guarding our hearts wisely when we place it in a station in our lives higher than it was intended for. 

It is not popular to say that God’s Truth is the only truth. But, following a different principle only keeps us slaves to whatever lie we fancy most. 

Our false beliefs keep us in bondage, but only the Truth sets us free.

The thing is that deep down in a really honest place, our hearts know that they are not to be trusted to the level of a guiding principle. Over time, hearts fail us. They misguide us. They lie to us when we ask too much of them by treating them as the source of truth. But, when we surrender our hearts to the will of God, putting them in their rightful place under God’s authority, there they are properly guarded. There they will thrive. There our hearts can align with life itself and be the wellsprings that God intended. 

Friends, if you struggle with guarding your heart, I encourage you to ask for God’s help to test your own heart and see where you’re believing things that aren’t true, and where your will is coming against His. Trust that God knows what He is doing and that He knows what is best for your heart because He made it in the first place. No one knows your heart better than the Lord. Surrender your heart to Him today; you will never regret it. 

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

What is God’s Grace?

Talking about the grace of God, especially during a verbal conversation, can sound very abstract, churchy, or vague. Even a very clear definition of God’s grace didn’t fully make sense to me until I came to faith in it for myself. For me, grace actually ended up being a lot more simple than I once thought it was.

God’s grace is the gift of life; it is also defined as the unmerited, unearnable gift of salvation that frees us from the consequences of inherited and committed sin.

It’s rather simple to describe, compared to the difficulty it can be to accept. After all, we aren’t used to accepting anything we didn’t earn. It’s easy for me to slip into feeling guilt and doubt that I ever had God’s grace in the first place, because I did no work to earn it! But that certainly doesn’t mean that these feelings align with the Truth. For Truth, we must look to God’s Word in Scripture: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).

God’s grace is “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20), it’s part of God’s character to want the best for us and to love us, even more than we can comprehend. God doesn’t stop showing us grace when we begin our faith journey, but continually shows us grace upon grace as he works in our lives daily and teaches us more about Himself.  

Are there people excluded from God’s grace? 

No, and yes. Everyone who has ever existed is given the gift of life by God, even if just for a little while. That chance at life is a form of God’s grace. Everyone has something to be thankful for. So in that sense, no one is excluded from God’s grace. However, using the definition above that describes God’s grace as the gift of life and salvation, we have the ability to choose not to accept this gift that God offers us. One could decide to reject God’s grace. God will never force anyone to accept Him; that is a choice He leaves to each individual to decide for themselves. 

Can you lose God’s grace, or fall away from grace? 

When it comes to the consequences of sin, Jesus stated that, “…No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Those who rely on Jesus’ saving work on the cross have been promised salvation. It is still debated by Biblical scholars who have devoted their lives to these questions as to whether or not someone can then lose their salvation after they reach a point of repentance to Jesus. As I am certainly not an expert I will not be taking any guesses, but will encourage you to talk to God and to ask Him directly about this issue if it is weighing heavily on your heart. 

I will say that God loves everyone the same, He shows no favoritism, and He gives everyone unlimited grace in their lives, even until the very end. As 2 Peter 3:9 says of God, “he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” That is God’s kind and generous heart toward us; again, it is ultimately our choice whether to accept His grace or not. 

How do you know you have God’s grace or that God’s grace is present in your life? 

It is normal to feel doubtful of God’s grace, at times it seems too good to be true, doesn’t it?! However, again, we look to the Truth in Scripture, “...if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9). Having God’s grace does not depend on feelings (praise God!) but instead on believing in your heart that Jesus is who He said He is. If you believe this, the fullness of God’s amazing grace is present with you! No more striving or searching, you are covered by His grace. It is finished.

If you haven’t accepted God’s grace before, or want to renew your confession of faith, pray this simple prayer with me: God, thank you for Your amazing grace made flesh in Your Son, Jesus Christ. I confess that I have sinned and need salvation which I could never earn on my own strength. I believe that Jesus died to pay the penalty for my sins, and was raised to life again to defeat death which held me captive. I accept your gift of life and freedom to have life everlasting with You. Amen. 

Thanks be to God for His rich and abundant grace to restore us back to life in Him. 

Have a faith question and wish you could get a response? Send an email or drop me a comment to let me know your question. I just might respond in a blog post like this one!

Further reading:
Acts 15:11, Romans 4:4-5, 11:6

Thank you so much for spending some of your time journeying with me, it is truly an honor. Please be sure to subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page for updates; it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

Characteristics of God: Faithful Friend

What makes a good friend? A lot of things come to mind about different friends I’ve had in my life, but I don’t often stop to consider how God has been the most faithful friend to me of them all. 

This post continues the Characteristics of God series where we discuss, Who is God and What is He like?

God is our faithful friend because He is closer to us than anyone, He loves us beyond measure and wants the best for us, He doesn’t leave when things get messy, and He affirms the truth, that our identity is in Him. 

You and I were designed to be with God, yet my tendency is to isolate, withdraw, and pull away from intimacy with Him. Perhaps especially because on His part, there is only goodness and love, deep care and concern for my well being. 

It’s hard for me to allow myself to be loved like that, with nothing held back. All my sin is exposed and I want to hide it. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. But God wants us to hang in there even though it’s uncomfortable sometimes. He longs for us to push past this feeling and walk in the truth, that we can’t hide anything from Him, nor does He want us to. He invites us into close friendship with Him every moment of every day. 

Jesus paid the cost for us to draw closer than close to Him.

God is faithful to guide us day by day, sometimes even when we aren’t paying attention, into learning His love and how to give it to others. But then, how do we be a friend to God? 

A faithful friend is someone who doesn’t leave when things get messy. When one falls apart, the other doesn’t get scared off. They stay present. They don’t agree with negativity and they remind us of what’s true and who we are. 

That’s exactly what Moses did for God Himself. 

But wait, you might be thinking, God wanted to leave when things got messy? He did! Moses talked to Him about it, in Exodus 32. I didn’t really understand why Moses was called the “friend of God” until I recently read this incredible story. 

The Israelites had turned to idolatry, putting their desires first, and that made God extremely angry. God became so angry, in fact, that He wanted to kill them (Exodus 32:10). Who can’t relate to that feeling? That moment when our blood boils and all we can see is red; God said to Moses, “Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you” (Exodus 32:10). 

I suspect God wanted to be left alone by Moses so that Moses wouldn’t be near the line of fire, but I also think of how anger can get more intense when we’re alone. We have time to sit and revel in how angry we are and dwell on all the reasons why our anger is justified. I can understand wanting to be alone when angry. 

But Moses didn’t leave God alone! 

When God told Moses what He was thinking He wanted to do in anger, Moses was calm enough to reason with God. He interceded for the Israelite people, “Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, to whom you swore by your own self…” (Exodus 32:13), reminding God of the bigger picture of redemption from sin, and how His plan to preserve Israel was in line with His character.  

In Exodus chapter 33, God was still angry with the Israelites, even after He had sent due punishments on them. His friend Moses then coaxed Him to draw near the people again. God seemingly preferred to send an angel (33:2) instead of going with the people Himself. But Moses reminded God of their friendship (33:12), and reminded God of who He is, and who He is to His people (33:16). 

Moses encouraged God to act in His identity as their God, which Moses said was “in [His] going with [His] people” (33:16). And He did! Moses’ friendship was so strong with God because he knew God’s heart. Moses, and we too, are MADE for this deep friendship with Him.

That depth of friendship with Him is what God invites us to do today, right now.

Because Jesus made it possible, we are under a newer covenant with God than Moses and the Israelites had; one that is defined by faith and intimacy with God, instead of works and sacrifice. Jesus paid it all so that we could always draw near, and so that He could always go with us. 

Think of your best friend. Someone you wouldn’t mind being around all the time, someone who you’d always enjoy having at events or during travels. That is how God feels about us.

God moved heaven and earth when He became flesh to be with us, to be friends with us, to be present with us in our midst, and to make it possible for us to be with Him in unhindered friendship. 

Is a friendship with God, like Moses had, really possible?

Rest assured that it is not only possible, but God longs for it! God is deeply moved by us and our faith in Him. The state of our hearts and what we do matters to Him because He loves us. He truly wants the best for you and me. That is the best kind of love a friend can give us! 

God is certainly not an impersonal, unmovable force that pays no mind to our prayers or pleadings, as the conversation scene in Exodus illustrated so beautifully. Instead, He allows us to influence Him, just as Moses did, by our faith in and knowledge of His character. That’s why knowing who He is and what He does is so important! God influences us, but because He desires authentic relationship with us, we also are able to influence Him, including in prayer. 

God is our most faithful friend.

In the Bible, friendship often implies a treaty (Deut 23:6, Ezra 9:12)–an agreement of peace and mutual benefit; give-and-take. For much of His ministry, Jesus gave to His disciples as a master to a servant, but in John 15 after the Last Supper, Jesus distinguishes a change in their relationship. At last, after knowing, following, and walking with Him for several years, the disciples are no longer just servants, but Jesus considers them His friends: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15). 

Our friends not only know what we do, but why we do it. Jesus admits that His hand is tipped, so to speak, that He let them in to the intel of God’s plan. Even the prophets saw it only in part, they didn’t see or know it all. Jesus not only revealed God’s plan in full, He fulfilled that plan. 

That changes how He relates to us, now in a more intimate way than any other time prior. Through the Holy Spirit in us, God is closer to us than our breath itself. We are able to be even closer to God than Moses, whose face was radiant from being so close to His presence (Exodus 34:30)! Remembering how God has been a faithful friend to us can greatly inspire us to go and do the same.

In Merciful Master, I talk about bringing the Kingdom of God to earth by showing mercy. We also bring the Kingdom to earth by being a faithful friend–to others, to ourselves, and back to God. 

A faithful friend won’t let us forget our true identity. 

Our true identity is secure and unchanging because it lies in God. Though the world often tells us the opposite, our identity in Christ is worthy, enough, and loved. This truth of who we really are has the power to bring us back to life when discouraged, and friends can speak this truth to us. Jesus can do this most powerfully and fully because He IS life and truth itself. 

Investing in friendship with Him is never a regret. God is such a faithful friend that He named Himself “God with us,” Emmanuel (Matthew 1:23), naming Himself (yet again) by His relationship with us (eg: Jealous, I AM). Still, we forget all the time what our true identity is. Thankfully, God is faithful to remind us as we walk in friendship with Him.   

In His friendship there is no concern that He will leave or forget who we are, even if we do

Our true, faithful Friend Jesus loves us beyond measure. Despite how hard it can be to accept untainted, unselfish love from God, we are called to lean into it. He is faithful to make His character clear when we are willing to see past our own. 

May we have abundant faith that Jesus paid the full and final cost for us to enter into close friendship with Him. 

The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent” (Exodus 33:11). 

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and like & follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace. 

My Elimination Diet Story

This week marks one year of changing everything about the way I eat by adopting a strict elimination diet.

Thirteen months ago, I was in tears at my parents’ kitchen table. I was talking to my family about the overwhelming task of drastically and permanently changing my diet, and by extension the way I go about life. But hold on, you might be thinking, what does an elimination diet have to do with life with the King? 

It called upon me to step out of passivity and step into what was right for my body, a temple of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5; 2 Timothy 1:14), not just sometimes but at every single meal. It called upon me to develop a spirit of discipline and perseverance. It called upon me to practice self-control. It called me to trust God in a deeper way. Ultimately, I want to share my story because it revealed things I needed to let God heal in me, and if I can do it, you can too.  

What I Gave Up

I was at a point where I felt stuck in a grab-and-go and restaurant-heavy diet. It worked with my busy lifestyle at the time, eating out on my way here or on the way back from there. The more I gave in to unhealthy diet choices, the more I was tempted by the constant food marketing we all see advertised. Not to mention giving all those foods up would surely ruin my social life; so much of it revolved around eating together with friends. Some of my favorite memories with them involve elaborate potlucks, and going to restaurants for birthdays or other celebrations. We even made a run of trying to sample all the world cuisines; many of us just love food. 

Eliminating the ingredients found in virtually everything? I was very concerned about sounding snobbish, rude, or judgmental if I refused the foods all my friends were eating. Not only that, but how else would we spend time together? (Yes, this was pre-COVID-19). 

While diet was my only ticket out of a prescription I had been taking for years, I was also terrified to stop taking it. To give up my prescription was what I wanted, but it actually meant that I would be facing the scariest withdrawal side effect, depression, head-on. It had hit me with a vengeance less than two weeks after I stopped the prescription once before, around three years prior. Depression messes with my concept of identity, not to mention life itself. Believing the lies depression tells is what scares me perhaps more than anything else. That fear of depression had kept me passively accepting my health situation to that point.

I also just doubted my own resolve. I felt unprepared to give up my restaurant fixes and my social life, like all I had to fight it with was my weak and admittedly underdeveloped self-discipline. 

But my feelings were wrong; the truth was I had God on my side too. 

Little did I know then that He would work so much more in this food journey than I ever imagined. I also had people in my family who encouraged and believed in me to see it through. They prayed for me and believed I could stay on course even though I didn’t. That kitchen table conversation? I left that night with renewed hope and resolve. 

Perseverance and Discipline

The initial motivator that made me push past all these hangups and attempt to discipline myself? The desire to stop taking the prescription I was on (an elimination diet plan would prepare my body for weaning off). Diet was the only option I knew of for doing that. Also, that same prescription was starting to cause ever-more-severe side effects that I had grown weary of tolerating.  

To clarify, I am NOT anti-medication. Medication can and does help people in many cases and there is absolutely a place for them. However, when the costs outweigh the benefits, I believe we need to look for safe alternatives; so that is what I did. 

After six years on my prescription, I had developed severe gastrointestinal (GI) side effects, or “leaky gut.” This is a known side effect. Sadly, my doctor dismissed it as something that can’t be tested or measured, despite my acute and nearly constant pain. 

Changing your lifestyle sounds like such a cliche until you actually try it. It’s hard work, and it takes planning and a willingness to disappoint other people if and when necessary. It takes removing temptations entirely from your environment. It also takes a really, really important reason. 

Sure, I wanted to feel better and get out of pain, but mostly I wanted to gain back my freedom from this prescription I no longer felt was helping me. I did not want to be that dependent on anything but God. And it was harming my body as well. Being strung along against my will just would not do any longer; it was clear to me then that it didn’t fit with what I believe. But soon I came to realize there were many other ways it didn’t fit me. 

Self Control

To help prepare my prescription-dependent brain and body to wean off, I committed to clean foods. I committed to investing a bit more in my health and purchasing organic fruit and vegetables, grass-fed meat, and pasture raised eggs. I went gluten, grain, soy, dairy, corn, caffeine, alcohol, processed/added sugar, potato, and peanut free on September 3rd, 2019. 

Miraculously, I stuck faithfully to this for the first six months (I followed a fantastic book’s plan which also included some supplements—with my doctor’s approval). This meant that suddenly, cooking became a much bigger part of life. In order to make it work for me and my personality as much as possible, I got rid of everything in my kitchen that had any ingredients I couldn’t eat and replaced them all with plan-friendly alternatives, like swapping soy sauce for coconut aminos, or white flour with almond flour. To help myself with self-control, I needed to minimize temptation. 

I was going to make sure that I was welcome in my own kitchen, even if nowhere else. 

I armed myself with plenty of versatile, fun recipes to try, like Thai chicken soup and spiced stir fry, so I never got bored within the ingredient limitations. I can count on one hand the times in those first six months that I ate anything I didn’t prepare myself—mostly times when I was out with friends. Most of those times I was eating within my ingredient restrictions, but none of those instances went particularly well. The cross-contamination was likely just too high. However my body was, thankfully, able to recover more quickly than before I started the elimination diet.

My previously constant GI symptoms mostly disappeared around the two-month mark of being on this plan, around early November 2019. Let me repeat that, 

It took only two months of diligence in self control for my leaky gut symptoms to disappear

That’s when I started feeling really good, relieved, energized, and motivated to keep going. I stuck to it through tempting holiday foods at Thanksgiving and Christmas with no unmanageable cravings.  

For anyone who believes inflammation or GI symptoms can’t be helped from diet and supplements alone, from the foods and plants that God’s earth provides for us, I am living proof that they can

After four months, I felt my body had gotten accustomed to the diet and was still feeling good. Finally, I was ready to stop taking my prescription in late December (again, with my doctor’s approval). I also started some more intense supplements to help repair intestinal damage and support my liver function even more. At that point, I’d done all I could do and prayed to God, asking Him to take care of the rest. I’d reached the first milestone—four months of eating for my health. Would it pay off? Could depression and other medication withdrawal side effects really be staved off? 

I continued faithfully with the diet through January. By late February, I had no negative side effects of stopping my prescription. I was both shocked and delighted. I could begin the food reintroduction phase of the elimination diet.

First, I tried reintroducing gluten, then dairy, corn, rice, potatoes, and peanuts. Each time I felt mildly tired and lethargic. It wasn’t painful, but I knew how great it was to feel at my best, and surprisingly, even just the “mild,” pain-free cost was no longer worth it to me. I could try reintroduction of these things again after a few months; these costs can lessen over time. For now, I only eat these ingredients in small amounts and very occasionally.  

I reintroduced oats with no negative symptoms, so I now eat them regularly. Because of the way my body reacts to them, I have not tried and have no plans to reintroduce soy, caffeine, alcohol, or added sugars—maybe ever.  

I am still very much in the middle of my self-control journey, but I’ve learned a lot in just one year.

Before starting an elimination diet, I didn’t restrict myself at all as to what, how much, or when I eat. But all these factors affect our bodies, and in turn our minds and spirits as well. Proverbs 25:28 reads, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” This past year’s elimination diet has been more than a diet, it has been a process of first realizing that my own internal “city” had some broken walls, and then putting the walls back together, piece by piece, day by day, meal by meal. Excess of anything without restriction, and ultimately gluttony, isn’t the Way of Jesus. In fact, it is in opposition to it. 

In an elimination diet mindset, you have to die to your will, forget about what you want to eat or feel pressure to eat, and follow the plan, because it’s the best thing for you and your health. Sounds familiar, right? Similarly, I can’t just go and do or say whatever I want because I have chosen to yield to the authority of Jesus. 

You can deny yourself and pick up your cross even when it comes to food choices.

Specifically, picking up my cross means loving God, loving others, and loving myself. Was eating whatever, whenever, even when it was harmful for my body, in line with my beliefs–in line with loving myself? For me, it was not. Treating my body in any way other than as the temple of the Holy Spirit that it is was not loving myself. It was suppressing who I am, mind, body, and spirit. My mind made excuses for it, my body tried in vain to compensate for it, and my spirit was dissatisfied by the whole thing. If I hadn’t suffered with the intolerable symptoms of leaky gut that tipped the scale for me to take action, I shudder at the thought that I might still be in that place.  

I honestly was blind to the issues with eating whatever whenever before I actually started taking the actions of preparing and eating the right foods. Usually, our thoughts motivate our actions, but sometimes our actions help clarify our thoughts when it comes to the Truth–this was one of those profound times for me. 

Restricting my diet helped me gain a sense of self-control that I didn’t have before, and it healed a part of my spirit and mind in the process!

I started out last August dreading a restrictive elimination diet, thinking I would fail and feel terrible about myself, but today, thanks be to God, the opposite is true. I feel happier with myself having acted on it and seeing it through faithfully. My friends didn’t abandon me, in fact, they fully supported me in my health journey; now looking back I wonder why I didn’t think that they would! 

Sticking to something healthy for my body was an act of love for self, which I now see as an act of love for God. I wasn’t compromising my peace of mind or arteries anymore for a greasy, sweet takeout meal. I was doing what I set out to do for my health and well being, letting God take care of the rest. And that’s exactly where I’d ever want to be! 

Trust God 

I learned that God gave us an amazing array of foods that can interact with our bodies in some very healing and restorative ways. 

This journey on an elimination diet helped me to learn that looking at food with this perspective can free us from wanting to make the unhealthy diet choices constantly being marketed to us via all forms of media. It also gave me a whole new layer of self agency—I was at a point with diet a year ago where I didn’t believe I could resist some of the food marketing (doughnut commercials, anyone?), and now that I’ve gone through it, I believe it is possible for anyone

Eating differently and making food choices for my health led me to see food differently; I thought it was interesting to note that it didn’t happen the other way around–the perspective shift came by doing. In the day-to-day, I have learned that self control over my food choices is ultimately much more satisfying to my soul, and is much more in line with who I am and what I believe, than indulgence. 

Now, I am still on this journey! I have had some recent, though much less severe, health issues show up that are still in need of full healing. I am fine-tuning, working with doctors and experimenting with natural supplements to support overall health and heal the root issue of symptoms instead of taking medications to mask them, as I had before. Natural, “God-made” ingredients are the way I want to go whenever possible. I would not have thought a natural remedy was even a legitimate option had I not gone through the food journey I went on this year or experienced the healing I did. 

My elimination diet process showed me how deeply our bodies are connected to the health of our minds and spirits, and that our bodies are equally important for our overall health. 

God provides what we need to heal, and change is possible no matter how intimidating, when it comes to being more of who God made you to be and living out your beliefs about Him. 

I had to let go of some things in my life to live out what I believe and live out my trust in God. I now have a desire to continue taking action and walking in trust, to continuously act on trust that God provided me with a body that can adapt, heal, and thrive on the foods that He made, instead of the (in my case) harmful chemicals that man made. 

When we pay attention to and love our bodies, and what information they are giving us about our health (they always do!), we love ourselves and fulfill His commandment to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2). By allowing God to heal us, and walking in that healing, we become a living testament of His goodness.

Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5).

“...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love” (2 Peter 1:5-7).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, and follow the Facebook page; it truly helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

Characteristics of God: Restorer of Wholeness

We might hear the message that we are whole and good enough just as we are. There is of course an important level of truth to that idea. It appeals to the best parts of who we are as uniquely crafted, individually beautiful humans; there are certainly times when it feels true. But we must be careful not deceive ourselves, either.

This is the first post in the new blog series, Characteristics of God, unpacking the questions, Who is God and What is He like?

On the level of our souls, there is a constant need in our brokenness that only Jesus’ work on the cross can fill to wholeness again. Who we are IS good enough, but only in Jesus. Inherited and committed sin leaves us in a state of brokenness which we simply cannot restore without Jesus. We were made for relationship with Him, to walk alongside Him in the Garden (Genesis 3:8-9).     

God never intended us to be broken people in the first place. 

The world has tried to make us forget about the consequences of sin. It distracts us in some surprisingly predictable ways. Worldly glory is not sustainable and does not satisfy. Only what we were made for, right relationship with God, can truly satisfy us. Who we truly are and who we were made to be by God is not understood by the world, which tells us only partial truths about ourselves. Pride and fear become traps that some cannot escape. But the whole truth is available in Christ, who sets us free:  


the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23, NIV). 

The Garden of Eden was the ideal place that God carefully created for us to dwell in with Him. He made it perfect and holy. We do not have many details about the Garden in the Bible, but we do know that trees grew there and bore fruit (Genesis 2:9) and two very important ones were placed in the center; there was a river flowing from it (2:10), animals were allowed into it, and it was set up with an East-facing entrance (3:24). I like to imagine that perhaps God particularly enjoyed watching the sunrise.    

When sin entered in, we couldn’t dwell with God’s presence and still live. We were banished from this most holy place. We couldn’t walk next to God anymore, as we had been intended for. We couldn’t talk with Him while watching how His facial expressions or His posture communicated to us as we now do with friends. 

There was a time when God literally walked beside us.

After we were forced to leave the Garden, God’s actual presence (as opposed to a burning bush, a pillar of fire, etc.) was much more scarce, and His face was hidden from us.

But thankfully, we weren’t the only ones unhappy about it. Sin and all, God didn’t intend for us to stay away from Him. For one example, in Exodus, Moses and the Israelite leaders are allowed to eat in God’s presence on Mount Sinai, to celebrate the covenant made between them and God, “Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of lapis lazuli, as bright blue as the sky. But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank” (Exodus 24:10-11).   

God longs to enjoy us and give us a way to enjoy Him, despite the consequences of our sin! 

Since we left the Garden, God has been working on the steps of restoration to bring us back to wholeness, culminating in the Person of Jesus. This celebration of the covenant, the Israelites eating and drinking in the presence of God, was a huge step in that journey of restoring humanity to wholeness. 

Just a few chapters later in Exodus, God gives Moses the details for constructing the tabernacle. The tabernacle, though a movable tent, was precisely described, and it even was made to face the same direction as Eden. Like Eden, it was intended to be a place where God’s presence would be with His people. The tabernacle, designed by God Himself but made with human hands, was symbolic of the completeness and wholeness of the Garden (Ex. 26:6). 

We lack nothing in Him; in Him, we are whole.

Because God’s goodness was enough to make up for our lack, His infinite goodness can even reach beyond all our brokenness and beyond every tear.

Even though we inherited sin through our human family as descendants of of Adam and Eve, through Jesus we are grafted into His family. In the lineage of Jesus, He allows us the Way to take part in His inheritance of life instead. 

Opposite to the world’s system of give and take, in God’s Kingdom it is not about what we can do to get favor from Him, it is what He did for us in adopting us into His eternal family.  

Eternal life is inherited, not earned. 

We are no longer orphans in our brokenness, but instead we are restored to wholeness in our relationship with our loving, good, and gracious Father. There is nothing we could ever do that could earn life. We are fully dependent on God for our life and inheritance in eternal life. 

He is generous to give us more than we could ever deserve, restoring us to wholeness. 

It’s not about what we deserve but about who God is. 

None of us who are in Christ get what we deserve, and that’s a good thing! He is generous to us even though we don’t deserve it because He loves us.

Take heart, friends; there is a special place for those who are desperate for the wholeness found in Him–a place that He put ahead of His own life! He died to make us whole and complete, not lacking anything. Jesus restores us and renews us not just once, but continually, every day, every hour, every moment. He prays to the Father for us, even now (Romans 8:34). 

The symbols of wholeness in the Bible of the Garden and the tabernacle remind me of how Jesus desires us to be unified as one (John 17:11 & 21-32), as He prays to the Father, 

that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21).   

As close as Jesus is with the Father, that’s how close God wants to be with us. He wants this for us and our good so much that He was willing to die for it; for you, and for me. 

God went to every last measure to restore us to Him. There was, is, and will be nothing that could separate us from His love (Romans 8:39). May we take great hope in this amazing picture of God’s restoration of our wholeness.

because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:3-5). 

Life with the King Turns One!

Sharing words with the world has been one of the scariest and most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve always loved writing, but only since last year did I get up the courage to share it for the world to read.

The idea to share a behind-the-scenes peek into Life with the King (LWTK) came from a question from one of YOU fantastic readers: Where did you start and how are you finding contentment and creativity in artistic style?

I always love hearing your ideas; thank you for reflecting with me on the first year of the Life with the King blog!

Why start writing in the first place?

Just like many of the stories I tell in this blog, it all started with an internal struggle. 

I have wanted to be a writer almost as long as I’ve been able to read. The problem was, I didn’t know what I would write about. The more I learned, the more I learned how much I didn’t know, and the more I doubted that what I had to say would be either new or helpful. 

I also knew that if my writing wasn’t vulnerable, it wouldn’t be great. And I wanted to write something great. I didn’t, however, want to be vulnerable. So, I put writing off. 

I journaled off and on; I wrote occasional poems and plays and essays. But I never called myself a writer.

I thought about starting a blog many times in my 20s. In 2012 I experimented with a travel blog and gleefully documented one of my trips nearly every day. But when it came to writing about life and meaning, the things that interested and fascinated me the most, the task seemed just beyond my reach. 

I can’t properly explain how, but I knew intuitively that I didn’t have the life experience yet to produce the depth of content that I wanted to be able to share. I was aware enough to know a well of wisdom about this topic existed, and also that I needed more years in flesh and blood reality to anchor whatever it is I’d write about in that wisdom. So I waited, telling myself I’d write something great someday, trying to make myself feel better about not really doing what I loved. I told myself for years that I just had to be patient. To trust that someday writing would find me again.

How did LWTK start? 

During my 20s, reality developed. I moved twice, had 3 jobs, 3 relationships, a family crisis or two, and a personal crisis of faith. Last year, I finally had a story that I was ready to tell. 

It was then that writing became something I could no longer not do. Speaking to the question of contentment, I was at a point where I just wasn’t content until I started taking steps toward sharing my story through writing. I took this as a clear signal that writing this story was at least part of what I was meant to do here on this earth. 

Yes, part of me felt it was a little self-indulgent to be writing about myself and my experience directly. But again the contentment wasn’t there until I sort of held my nose and did so. After all, writers must write what they know. Artists must express what they feel and observe. That’s the only way I know of to be honest, and honest writing is all I’d ever want to read. Or offer.  

Despite being completely terrified, I published my first blog post one year ago today. I told my friends, “If only one person is helped and doesn’t feel alone in their faith experience, it’ll all be worth it.”

Needless to say now, it’s been more than worth it. 

It’s been a life-giving creative outlet to write my story with the Lord, sharing what He has taught me in the process of rebuilding shattered faith. 

And there is so much more to share that goes beyond the scope of this blog. My hopes to write that book someday are now more alive than ever, all starting with saying “YES!” to obey that tug on my heart. 

Behind the Scenes 

To get a little more vulnerable still, the writing journey while mostly positive hasn’t been all rosey. There was so much passion and momentum when this began a year ago. Not only that, but I was also helped and inspired by my sister Abby, who had launched her own blog just a month before. In those first couple of weeks, we packed our laptops on our family beach trip to keep consistent with our blogging. Without an internet connection where we were staying, we simply got up early nearly every day and drove off to find air conditioned WiFi, leaving the family asleep to work on our writing together. The first few weeks were relatively easy because of the excitement around it and the forethought I had put into a handful of topics.

However writing on my own was harder. Topics eventually run out. Blogging took time, discipline, and energy that I had underestimated in the initial rush of novelty. I soon struggled to post blogs weekly, working a full time job as well as a part time job. Discouragement set in and I stopped posting for several weeks at a time, not because I wanted to stop, but because I had to. I couldn’t continue if I was associating the blog with a feeling I dreaded.  

Because I love this blog. It took a great deal of time, attention, and planning to get it up and running. I have pages and pages of notes just from working out what to call it. I talked to friends about their own blogs and what they learned along the way. The online hosting process alone took me weeks to set up. I set up a post structure to keep me focused before I ever started writing content. 

Just because it was tough and discouraging at times didn’t mean I was going to give up on the blog. 

And that’s exactly how God feels about us. 

God didn’t give up on me, even when I quit on Him. He will never give up on you either.

This time, I wasn’t going to let go of the opportunity I’d been given that easily; I had already done that whole letting-discouragement-stop-me thing in my 20s. Not anymore.

How do you feel about the blog now?

I remember telling my family this January, “I finally feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.” 

Writing is my act of obedience to God. There is meaning in the sharing of Life with the King, and that makes the pain I endured apart from Him have a purpose now. Writing is indeed my way of artistic expression. Bringing truth and light to the darkness is what God does. My aim for LWTK is to bring attention to what I see God doing. We all need a reminder to look for it, myself included.

Today, I can call myself a writer. Today, I can say that God is Good.

I hope Life with the King will continue to encourage you as it begins its second year; no matter how desperate or painful your faith journey might seem, God hasn’t and won’t ever give up on you. Even when you don’t see Him or experience His presence. Even when you don’t believe Him. There is still hope, and joy is still possible. 

Don’t give up. You are not alone, and there is grace even here. 

I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever” (Psalm 145:1-2).

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

A Closer Look at God’s Forgiveness

Do we really need to forgive ourselves?  

I’ve been seriously wrestling with this question for five years. I’ve fervently tried, but I was never able to feel settled with the statement that I had “forgiven myself.” 

The thing is, I knew I hadn’t fully. I wasn’t even sure I could. But I couldn’t ignore the fact that I am dust and just couldn’t shake the truth that without God’s grace through Jesus I am unforgivable, flawed, and hopelessly sinful. That is what makes God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrifice for us so incredibly difficult to comprehend. Offering grace to ourselves is not always an easy task, even on our best days. 

Lately I’ve been working very hard on accepting the truth, even if it’s not pretty or what I or others would want to hear. Jesus had to come and forgive me; I can’t forgive myself on my own. Without His grace (upon grace…) I am not gracious enough toward myself to forgive fully. I can’t pardon myself from the sins I’ve committed or fix my fallen nature. I can’t absolve myself of guilt. Only Jesus can do that.  

Forgiving ourselves is not done on our own strength, it’s about leaning on the forgiveness Jesus already offers to us.

I can’t shake the truth that I desperately need Jesus’ forgiveness. It is His forgiveness that allows me to forgive others, and myself. We are not meant to live under the weight of heavy guilt; instead, we are meant to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:30). As He calls us to follow Him, He invites us to come to Him and accept the forgiveness He has for us. 

In accepting His forgiveness, we believe the unbelievable, that what God says really is true, and that Jesus’ work on the cross really was enough. We are made in His image, so we all have the capacity to forgive, but Jesus teaches us how to do this. Jesus enables us to forgive, wholly and truly, through and through.   

Through His amazing grace, we may extend complete grace to ourselves and others.

We can start to see ourselves through His eyes when we accept His forgiveness. And we might need to choose to accept it several times every day! Just as we have to choose to take up our cross daily, we must also choose to accept His forgiveness as we continue to make mistakes, doubt our own faith, or struggle to show grace to ourselves and others. 

Forgiveness is a choice God made in relation to us. We do not have to do anything to earn it, a strange feeling in our world where so much must be earned. Accepting God’s choice to forgive us despite what we may feel about ourselves at any given moment isn’t always so easy. (I mean, did He see what I did? If I’m disgusted in me, then surely He is, right?) Wrong. He loves and forgives us unconditionally. And He knew that you were going to do whatever it is you did, but that doesn’t change a thing. 

Jesus already paid the full price for our forgiveness. As we believe this, the Holy Spirit lives in us and loves us as part of His own family. This is the fact; feelings that keep us from believing we can be forgiven are not fact.  

It’s okay to give your feelings time to catch up with facts. 

It is not okay, however, to let feelings blind you to facts. The facts are that God loves you, Jesus paid the price for you, and that you are forgiven and free in Him. How amazing that we do not have to do anything more than believe to receive His forgiveness! And even more than this, His forgiveness empowers us to forgive to greater depths than we ever could on our own strength.                  

Yet, we are ever-tempted to give in to the false feelings that are not of God, of guilt and shame. For some of us, these feelings might be a comfortable place to be. But these feelings were never meant to linger and we were never meant to dwell among them. Jesus said, “...it is necessary that temptations come…” (Matthew 18:7). Temptations and disobedience will happen, but it doesn’t erase what God has done or who we are in Him at all. Guilt and shame must be dealt with yet moved through, for we are meant to dwell in Jesus’ freedom. 

When God leads us through temptations to the other side, He shows us who He is, for He walks with us the whole way.

Not only am I aware that I am dust, but God is aware too (Psalm 103:14), and He has mercy for that. He knows we will be tempted to choose not to believe the facts and go with our feelings. 

In fact, God uses even these temptations for His glory, “For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all” (Romans 11:32). He gives us no reason to fear. He knows we need Him, and He forgives us for being human.   

It’s okay to accept God’s forgiveness.  

In reference to Romans 8:33, the ESV Study Bible notes, “Satan, their enemies, or even their own consciences may bring charges against God’s elect, but those who have come to faith in Christ will never be found guilty, for God declares them to be right before all the world at the divine tribunal.”

This means we will face charges in our own thoughts and consciences, and it’s not a question of if but when–this will happen. It does not change the fact that Jesus Christ cleared us of our charges and forgave us. 

Asking God to forgive us, and believing He does, is enough.  

Paul wrote, “For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law (Romans 3:28). We do not have to work and do extra to earn forgiveness. Forgiveness is not earned, it is given. He asks us to have faith in Him; His forgiveness for us doesn’t depend on our striving or achieving. 

We don’t have to strive to earn freedom from guilt, instead, we are invited to have faith that we are forgiven. 

In Matthew, it says, “with God all things are possible” (19:26). As we struggle with forgiving ourselves, let us take heart in knowing that we can rest because of who Jesus is, what He has done, and what He, even now, is doing on our behalf; “Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). 

Not only has he paid the price for our forgiveness, but He continually works on our behalf; we have no need to strive because of Him.

May we let it all rest in Jesus. 

“God is for us, so who can be against us” (Romans 8:31)?

Thank you for spending some of your time journeying with me. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the blog, it helps me continue writing about Life with the King. Grace and peace.  

Justice, Jesus, and the Human Heart

The shockwaves of the nation have hit my heart deeply. They have exposed the lurking darkness within each one of us. The ugliness has made clear that we’re not where we need to be. We’re not treating every human equally. We’re not loving our neighbors as ourselves.

2020 seems to have brought the perfect storm of tragedy, and I’m still reeling. I’m still processing. But I hope to start in this post to express the grief I’m feeling for and with my brothers and sisters, and to point to the hope Jesus provides us, even still. I willingly join with Christ, my brothers, and my sisters, in the suffering that comes with standing for both justice and mercy. It seems to me to be the only way to leave the darkness behind for good. 

Join with me in suffering, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer” (2 Timothy 2:3-4). 

This has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with people. Where there are people suffering, God is there. As God’s people we need to be there too. We will know and feel what His heart feels as His Spirit dwells within us. Walking with Jesus means walking not only outside of the affairs of the world, but also straight into the affairs of the heart. There is no place more earthly than the heart, and God is now allowing this battleground, where evil has long prevailed, to be stormed. While it is not our job to change others’ hearts, for only God can do that, it is our job to speak truth in love. Speaking truth in love is just, loving, and humble. 

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). 

After hundreds of years of His people in slavery, God called Moses to lead them out of their oppressive conditions and treatment in Egypt. I believe God is calling our country and the world to face the oppression inflicted upon one another, whether that’s physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, economically, opportunistically, or otherwise. All of it needs to be reexamined; all of it needs to be changed for the better. And we can do better because Jesus made a way for hearts to be changed, purified by His blood, and set on the good of all.

Jesus is the Way to love our neighbors as ourselves.

God said to Cain of the sin in his heart, “you must rule over it” (Genesis 4:7). 2000 years have passed since Jesus made a way to be set free from that sin. If we are free of it, why is it still lingering? Sin forms habits too. But habits can be broken. In fact, studies have shown that it takes only about 21 days to break most habits. The events of these past weeks have been a challenge to individually break the habit of seeing others as less than ourselves. 

We must make a new habit, that of loving others as ourselves. It is one of the two highest commands of God (Matthew 22:39). And He has made a Way for us to rule over our human tendency for sin and to love instead. He has made it possible, we must intentionally break the ingrained habit and make it our reality. This true reality of loving our neighbors as we walk in the Kingdom of God is where we can live and be fully alive.  

Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:37-39).  

It is not a time to be afraid, the life lived for and in the Kingdom is better than any other life we may be used to or comfortable with. In the Kingdom of God, we are no longer bound to the life for a life system of justice. We see this with Israel, the firstborn of God, being spared in exchange for the death of the firstborn of Egypt. Jesus ended that cycle when He became the ultimate sacrifice for our sin. 

Deaths and animal sacrifice no longer need to occur to atone for our sin, because Jesus, the sinless One, broke our cycle of brokenness. Jesus brought a Way to the entire earth that rescues our sinful, arrogant, prideful, prejudiced souls from the darkness, and brings them to the light in Him. By His power, and only by His power, we can overcome sin and death. 

So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:26-28). 

Right before the 10th and final plague God brought upon Egypt, He reassured Moses: “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Pharaoh will not listen to you, that my wonders may be multiplied in the land of Egypt’” (Exodus 11:9). My prayer is that all of these horrors, all of this pain and suffering, all of the oppression and bondage in sin and darkness would powerfully bring to light the wonder of God to us in our land. As God’s sovereignty and wonder was made apparent in Egypt, may it be made apparent and bring Him all the glory in our world today. May we take comfort and joy in the fact that God multiplies His wonders out of the most dire situations. 

Friends, let’s keep our eyes on the light of the Lord’s promises, even in the midst of deepest darkness. 

But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream” (Amos 5:24). 

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with each other in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3). 

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). 

Perspective of Celebration

My one flowering plant that I’ve had since last February is budding (miraculous that it’s still alive to begin with, because I have killed every other indoor plant I’ve owned!). I see shoots popping out of the earth along my neighborhood walkways. I hear birds chirping in more cheerful and distinctive melodies. Spring has recently come to be my favorite season because of its beautiful, far-reaching reminder of renewed life. I’ll take almost any excuse to celebrate and get my mind on something positive. My birthday is in February, which I like to celebrate all month long. Taking on a spirit of celebration really helps me work out my case of the winter funk.

Expected Celebration

The oldest book of the Bible, Job, mentions that Job’s children celebrated their birthdays with a feast: “His sons used to hold feasts in their homes on their birthdays, and they would invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them” (Job 1:4). In ancient culture, many other times of celebration were marked by feasts as well (eg: Numbers 10:10). Feasts often involved rejoicing, rest, and joy (eg: Esther 9).   

To me, birthdays are the easiest time to celebrate life in the current, Western world I live in. It’s somewhat expected that birthdays are something to celebrate, even as an adult. Every year around my birthday I take some time to marvel at the fact that I’m still alive. I mean that in all seriousness. I stop to appreciate the hardships I’ve endured and the times I wanted to give up. It helps me to practice this grateful posture to God for my life. I also go through this same process for the birthdays of people close to me. It’s especially easy and expected to celebrate when our life circumstances have improved from what they once were.  

Soon after one of their feasts, Job’s children were killed. When Job heard this news, he mourned, to be sure; yet he didn’t cease to rejoice in the Lord. Instead, “he fell to the ground in worship and said: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.’ In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” (Job 1:20-22). What an amazing response to devastating news! 

Unexpected Celebration

It’s easy to celebrate and rejoice in God when we focus on the blessings in life–health, a place to live, food to eat, a job, a family, good friends, etc. But to rejoice in the face of death, suffering, and heartache? What a feat it is to put deep pain aside and rejoice in God’s presence and faithfulness to us, as Job did. This is not a natural human response, it takes some intention and some serious reliance on the Goodness of God. This difficult task is in fact a command:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7).  

In every situation. Even to the point of loneliness, lack of love, false accusations. Even to the point of losing our reputation. Even to the point of loved ones being killed. Rejoice. This takes strength that only God can give us. Humans are easily broken down. Our human nature is weak in resolve and fickle in loyalty. But God’s strength is steadfast; leaning on Him, we can endure suffering and still rejoice in the face of it.  

In the few times I have been able to rejoice in the midst of pain, I do remember feeling immediately put at ease. It was like the “peace of God, which transcends all understanding” had come and put thick earmuffs on me while a piercing siren was roaring in my ears. I could still hear the siren, but the sound no longer had all of my attention. God’s mercy and nearness had more of it. It might feel odd or nonsensical, but rejoicing while in pain can make all the difference. Obedience to God is always rewarded. 

Suffering and Death 

Looking at the story of suffering Jesus went through in the Gospels, He still had hope even on the cross. Through all the mocking and abuse He endured, He never ceased to honor the relationship He had with the Father. Though He asked for the burden of death and suffering on the cross to be taken from Him, He still had deep joy going through with it because He was doing the Father’s will. Like Job, Jesus also gives us the example of rejoicing in the Lord, no matter the circumstance. 

Rejoicing and celebration can be a sign of faith. Faith that God is there, that He is working when we can’t see, gives us cause to celebrate, no matter what we are going through. 

I’ve been reading about Abraham and Sarah this week. When the presence of God visits their tent, God responds to Sarah’s disbelief in His words that she will have a son in her old age (around 90). Her womb was as good as dead in her eyes. She laughs at God’s words, but He asks, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14). 

God brings life even when we only see death 

We must have faith that winter will turn into spring. That life will be renewed. Friends, we cannot allow our hope to die. If you’re longing for faith but can’t find it right now, know that God can help you as you are; don’t give up hope. If you’re longing for God’s presence but feel nothing, know that God is already there with you; don’t give up hope. If you’re longing for love, know that God already loves you more than you can imagine; don’t give up hope. You can be open to receive His love when you are ready, and He is patient with your process. 

God has given us every reason to rejoice, to celebrate, to be full of joy regardless of our circumstances. At all times. In every situation. He is the life-giver; that’s just what He does and who He is. If your hopes have died, if your heart has stopped loving, if your needs aren’t being met, know that Jesus is the restorer of life. He has met your every need already. He has done the work, so that all we need to do is celebrate. 

Celebration Eternal

Even if winter never ends, and if we don’t see the sun shining again, we have no excuse! Yes, the things around us often affect our mood in the moment, but we must not let that change our eternal perspective on what matters most. No, celebration when things are going wrong doesn’t make sense. But God asks us to rejoice always. His ways don’t make “sense” or go along with our feelings all the time. Our faith in Him is all He asks of us, and that involves rejoicing because of who He is.    

The day is coming when God will dwell with us in the new earth. We will be eternal with Him, and will glorify Him in all we do. We won’t need to guess or mess up at it anymore. We will rejoice and celebrate and be glad, with no more tears. When we can celebrate on this earth in this life, we can enter into that eternity now. When Jesus came, heaven broke into earth and God’s presence is still here and available to us now because of Jesus through the Holy Spirit. In times of celebration, we can both live in and get a glimpse of the eternity God is preparing for us. Let’s not miss the chance we have to celebrate here and now!

May we celebrate the life found only in Jesus, on our birthdays, and every day we have His breath in our lungs. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready” (Revelation 19:7).

Dealing with Pride

what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Recently I found myself in a situation where I chose to sin. Of course, this was just one of the many times this has happened. Willfully sinning is really confusing, and more people need to talk about this; it messes with any feelings of pride in myself.    

When I don’t feel right with myself, it’s difficult to keep hold of what’s true. My mind starts to crowd with these lies of how God is disappointed in me, is distant from me, and wants nothing to do with me anymore. How maybe my identity in Him was all just something I made up in my mind. This is really not okay. 

In the midst of this pride-shattering moment, it became quite impossible for me to imagine that He could love me in spite of sin, and yet He does. In fact, He does just the same as if I had never sinned even once. Amazing grace, indeed. So amazing, in fact, that it can be difficult to accept at all.  

Pride

I, like pretty much everybody, sinned against God simply because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. The sin of pride is and can be a wake-up call to look at and watch more carefully what goes on in our hearts and souls. My conscience was firing, my soul needed to get right with God again, and I had to confess my sin. I needed to repent all over again. After wrestling with the fact that I had followed sin instead of God, I realized that I was getting too comfortable. In my pride, my thought was actually that I was close to being past willful sin; but the Bible says that “no one may boast before Him” (1 Corinthians 1:29). 

Even after I repented, I felt it wasn’t enough. I was still upset with myself. God had forgiven me, but I hadn’t been able to forgive myself. Friends, that is pride in a sneaky form. Instead of fully accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I was trying to shoulder the burden of sin myself. In withholding forgiveness for ourselves like I did, we actually think there’s something more we can do to make up for it. In not surrendering fully to God’s forgiveness, we try to take this sin of ours into our own hands. This is pride. 

This is a complicated subject, so don’t mistake my meaning; what we do in our lives–does matter. Sin matters. One of the fruits of the Spirit is love. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). We are certainly meant to live in a way that follows the Way of Jesus, who was sinless. In James, actions are called “works”: “You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone” (James 2:24). Faith comes first, for actions flow from faith–the fruit of our lives, but what we do and what we choose, matters. However, nothing we do can make up for our sin.    

Sin 

Jesus paid it all for us. It is prideful to try to make up for it in any other way besides how He calls us to–to leave our life of sin. 

Willful sins torture the conscience of those committed to the Way of Jesus. They still can creep up on us, as we are still here on the fallen earth. We still are made of dust. We have one foot here and one readied for the age to come. We have been set free from sin by Jesus, but at any moment we can choose to step outside God’s will to do our own will and sin against Him. 

Sometimes the only way to know what sin is, is because of what the Bible says. My own thoughts and feelings change constantly. My moral compass was shattered at the Fall. It’s hard to know the Truth about many things, and it can appear as though every person has their own version of truth. But actually this cultural catchphrase “live your truth” or “follow your truth” is saying that everyone has their own beliefs about what the truth is. Beliefs do not change the Truth.  

Of course, what we believe is important; for more on that see my post How Belief is Our Most Powerful Tool. But I am saying that believing something doesn’t make it so. 

Hope for self-hate

I debated whether to mention self-hate, but just like willful sin, I feel that it needs to be addressed if we’re talking about a life lived in freedom. Self hate; that point at which I mess up and I’m just disgusted with myself and how miserably I failed to fear God…yep, that was my week. Self-hate is a very real thing and I wanted to share that I experience this because I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m here to say that there is still hope, even in a place of self-hate.

Yes, we sin. But that just gives us another opportunity to talk to God. Another reason to repent, to put our faith in God all over again, and process what went wrong with Him. To let Him make something good grow in us that maybe wasn’t developed yet. Or even to weed out something that no longer needs to be there. He gives us all fresh opportunities to work through our sins with Him, confess them, and let them go thanks to Jesus’ sacrifice. Praise God that “his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning…” (Lamentations 3:22-23). Yes, you will sin, but there is always mercy available to you in Christ Jesus our King. There is hope because “a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Galatians 2:16). Sin no longer has the last word over us, because Christ made a way.  

Where our hearts lie can be seen through the fruit of our lives, but there is nothing you can do to separate you from the love of God (Romans 38:38-39). He longs to be chosen by us. He longs to be allowed into our hearts. He makes all things new (Revelation 12:5). Even sin. Even self-hate. Even the pride we struggle to let go of. 

Humility

God is working on my ego in this, my latest particular experience with sin. Ironically, this is actually something I asked Him to do; I prayed that I wanted my ego to be eliminated, kaput, bye-bye. Be careful what you pray for! I believe that my failed test is helping my prayer to be answered. This experience exposed my pride and revealed beyond a doubt that I am no better than anyone else. That it’s all Him, it’s none of me. No amount of hard work, self-determination, sense of righteousness, or even how close I “felt” to God lately makes me a good person in the slightest. Only God is Good (Mark 10:18; Luke 18:19). None of that stuff can save me or you from sin. Only Jesus can do that, so that no one may boast. Only Jesus. 

Thanks be to God.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness (2 Corinthians 11:30).

May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14).